But did he grab it by the cushy?
Not even a very weird thing for a teenage boy to do tbh, assuming this is a story about being a horny stupid kid.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 25, 2024 9:21 PM |
Imagine the condition of the couch in his hillbilly abode. What’s another stain?
by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 25, 2024 9:28 PM |
More cushion for the pushin'
by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 25, 2024 9:45 PM |
Why reveal such a stupid thing? No dog and a jar of Jif?
by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 25, 2024 10:08 PM |
He is hetero-sectional
by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 25, 2024 10:13 PM |
[quote]JD Vance did NOT have sex with a couch.
Oh [bold]that's[/bold] what he's saying now? Did I mean [bold]nothing/bold] to him?
by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 25, 2024 10:13 PM |
No weirder than having sex with an apple pie. Or a tailpipe. (that one shocked me)
by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 25, 2024 10:19 PM |
Like it’s big enough to go into the cushions lol. He just humps it.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 25, 2024 10:24 PM |
He touched me... there...
by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 25, 2024 10:28 PM |
It was sofa king hot!
by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 25, 2024 10:29 PM |
He probably did... and then forced it to carry the Ottoman to term.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 25, 2024 10:35 PM |
"So you like touching little sofas huh? Do you know what they do to couchfuckers in prison?"
by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 25, 2024 10:36 PM |
I wonder if he got couch burn?
by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 25, 2024 10:41 PM |
[quote]Imagine the condition of the couch in his hillbilly abode.
You mean in the 4 bedroom home of his MeeMaw, that hillbilly abode?
by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 25, 2024 10:51 PM |
His first girlfriend was a total divan.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 25, 2024 11:03 PM |
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 25, 2024 11:05 PM |
I did NOT. have. sexual. relations. with. that. couch.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 25, 2024 11:23 PM |
I only fuck fainting couches.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 26, 2024 12:46 AM |
#Me2-seater
by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 26, 2024 12:51 AM |
Where do you think he got that std (sofa transmitted disease)?
by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 26, 2024 12:57 AM |
Let’s start a rumor about him daily! It’s DL’s special skill set. Let’s fuck this guy harder than his couch did.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 26, 2024 12:58 AM |
@r17, "Not that there’s anything wrong with that!"
The hell there isn't. I don't want fat boy's hillbilly splooge all over my herculon La-z-Boy sofa... ew
by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 26, 2024 3:45 AM |
He DID have sex with me. And it was sofa-king good!
by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 26, 2024 3:50 AM |
[quote]Even comedian Kathy Griffin chimed in, declaring the country should not have a “couchf*cker” as vice president.
Of course she did.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 26, 2024 4:21 AM |
Is Usha questioning her life choices?
by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 26, 2024 4:47 AM |
R19 you mean you only get fucked on waiting couches Senatrice?
by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 26, 2024 4:51 AM |
Was it rape rape?
by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 26, 2024 4:58 AM |
It was Ric Rac Rape, Whoopi.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 26, 2024 5:07 AM |
When things gets too loose JD just has her reupholstered.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 26, 2024 5:10 AM |
At parties in college, he never got laid except when he could find himself an easy chair.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 26, 2024 5:22 AM |
He has pig face, bad trait, negative energy.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 26, 2024 5:33 AM |
He tried to have sex with me, but his tiny little nub couldn't reach my crack!
by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 26, 2024 5:42 AM |
Do you mind if I just couch surf at your place for a while? You know, just till I get back on my feet, or knock the couch up.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 26, 2024 5:48 AM |
His stubby little toes all curled up while his tip is in the cushions.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 26, 2024 5:52 AM |
ROFL... I'm cracking up, thinking about how horrified Usha will be when seeing a "JD is a couch fucker" meme for the first time.
Bwahahahahaha!!!
by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 26, 2024 5:55 AM |
Did he use a ribbed glove, for her pleather?
by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 26, 2024 6:04 AM |
And this is why we won't ask JD Vance to house sit ever again!
(See link below)
by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 26, 2024 7:08 AM |
[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]
by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 26, 2024 7:08 AM |
[quote] JD Vance did NOT have sex with a couch.
Oh yes he did!
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 26, 2024 8:51 AM |
I’mm loving it. Trump hates this kinda weird stuff.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 26, 2024 8:53 AM |
^ Trump hates weird stuff?... Since when?
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 26, 2024 9:11 AM |
R45 Well lame stuff I should say. Even though he is the biggest lame of all time.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 26, 2024 9:14 AM |
Trump hates anyone in his circle getting attention that isn’t directed back at him. His narcissism kicks in and he doesn’t appreciate the competition.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 26, 2024 11:19 AM |
When he gets that feeling, he needs some sectional healing!
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 26, 2024 12:33 PM |
The Trump Campaign should have caught this during the vetting - when asked his sexual orientation during his VP screening physical, Vance replied “Buy sectional.”
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 26, 2024 12:41 PM |
We need an equivalent of the Starr Report to investigate semen stains on the couch slipcover.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 26, 2024 12:42 PM |
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 26, 2024 12:55 PM |
Didn't the AP retract that debunking?
by Anonymous | reply 53 | July 26, 2024 12:56 PM |
AP deleted the debunking.
After the story was removed, a spokesman for AP said it “didn’t go through our standing editing process”.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 26, 2024 12:59 PM |
^ Oh, sure, next they'll say it's NOT Maybelline
by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 26, 2024 1:08 PM |
You people are horrible.
More! More!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | July 26, 2024 2:42 PM |
The Secret Service has given Vance the codename "Bobcat."
Coincidence?
by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 26, 2024 2:52 PM |
Lazy boy
by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 26, 2024 4:11 PM |
Turns out he DID fuck the couch. In an earlier version of the book
see related thread linked below
by Anonymous | reply 59 | July 26, 2024 4:33 PM |
Please, please let this come up at the vice-presidential debate!!
by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 26, 2024 4:36 PM |
I did not have sex with that couch.
It was that one over there.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 26, 2024 5:05 PM |
Is this the appropriate thread for the dolphin porn search?
by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 26, 2024 5:06 PM |
by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 26, 2024 5:08 PM |
Vance looks like the kind of queen who likes to trick in viewing booths inside filthy roadside dirty bookstores.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 26, 2024 5:38 PM |
ew
by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 26, 2024 5:48 PM |
What about Peter Thiel?
by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 26, 2024 5:56 PM |
I'll bet there are some single mother couches in Appalachia impregnated by Vance that had unwanted cushions due to abortion bans.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 26, 2024 6:15 PM |
If he shows proof that he did NOT fuck a couch, then I’ll believe him.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 26, 2024 10:42 PM |
Well they must call it a love seat for a reason.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | July 26, 2024 10:57 PM |
Linda Tripp claimed before she died that the sofa showed her the blue slipcover.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 27, 2024 7:17 AM |
Vladimir Futon
by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 27, 2024 4:23 PM |
Couch fucker is a label you can't come back from. He needs to change his name for a 5th time and leave the country.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 27, 2024 4:37 PM |
The couch was TOTALLY asking for it with those cheap slip covers . . .
by Anonymous | reply 73 | July 27, 2024 4:38 PM |
Pictures of him in drag/blackface/Nazi coming in 1, 2, 3 ...
by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 27, 2024 4:53 PM |
The alluring scent of Febreze with a hint of cigarette and suede was too much for him to resist. And she was modular, too.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 27, 2024 6:02 PM |
There are a LOT of misconceptions in this thread. Please see my statement.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 27, 2024 6:18 PM |
"Couch, show us on this dollhouse sofa where the fat hillbilly touched you"
by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 27, 2024 6:43 PM |
Don’t worry, Vance. These rumors will go away when people realize how baseless they are.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 27, 2024 6:44 PM |
Took me a moment to realise why The Simpsons was trending on Twitter.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 27, 2024 7:51 PM |
"I did not have SECTIONAL relations!!!"
by Anonymous | reply 80 | July 27, 2024 8:05 PM |
I'm just waiting to see what new perversion he's got lined up next.
This makes Bill Clinton's "bimbo explosions" seem so quaint.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | July 27, 2024 8:18 PM |
R1 is right. Definitely not something you’d want in the public spotlight, but not remotely abnormal for a horny teenage boy. I remember around 14 years old putting a lotion-filled ziploc bag in between my box spring and mattress and going to town. Teen boys will fuck anything to relieve their hardons. Even a couch.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | July 27, 2024 8:20 PM |
R82 Did you also stick things up your butt? Don’t worry about oversharing — it will only make you more popular.
by Anonymous | reply 83 | July 27, 2024 8:37 PM |
[quote]Pictures of him in drag/blackface/Nazi coming in 1, 2, 3 ...
Close, R74.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | July 28, 2024 9:25 PM |
The rumors about him having sex with furniture are exaggerated. It wasn't a regular thing. It was just one nightstand.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | July 28, 2024 9:39 PM |
R85 I hope the couch was scotch-guarded.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | July 28, 2024 9:42 PM |
Who hasn't done this?
No big whoop.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | July 28, 2024 9:46 PM |
What about whoopee cushions, R87? Those are awkward sex noises.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | July 28, 2024 9:48 PM |
JD, call me, I think I know a few things about fetishes that won't go away
by Anonymous | reply 89 | July 28, 2024 9:52 PM |
[quote]What about whoopee cushions, [R87]?
Was it RAPE-rape?
by Anonymous | reply 90 | July 28, 2024 10:00 PM |
Chelsea Handler:
[quote]“All of us childless cat and dog ladies are going to go from childless and crushing it to childless and crushing you in November,” Handler said. “And before you tell me he didn’t really fuck a couch, spare me. I grew up in New Jersey in the ’80s where everyone had a couch in their basement and I know a couch fucker when I see one.”
by Anonymous | reply 91 | July 29, 2024 12:47 AM |