What's it like to go to a private boarding school?

I have this idea that at least some of them have descended into Lord Of The Flies drug dens rife with so much academic cheating it’s the absolute norm… all beneath the superficial optics of the private school veneer.

Accurate or not so much?

I went to prep school for two years in the eighties. yea, uniforms, dress dinners, trying to get away with breaking rules. I'm sort of curious of others' experiences.

How was the getting-fucked-in-the-ass quotient, r2?

There was one I came across that looked interesting. It’s Helix Academy. I would have liked to have gone there.

Is it fantasy and movies or is there really a lot of sex in a male boarding school?

Mind your business, it's PRIVATE!

I was constantly told (as were my parents) that I was a bright kid who wasn't living up to my potential. As a boomer there was not a whole lot of time to spend on kids who needed help being motivated to achieve as classes often had 35 kids. I was either bored (waiting for others to catch up in reading, history, or English) or completely uninterested and thus failing (chemistry, math, biology). There was a boarding school that was dedicated to students like me get a rounded education. I can't remember where I saw it advertised -- maybe in a magazine at the library? It was the early 1970s and I longed to go there, but my parents bluntly told me that they could not afford the $45 application fee. I was crushed. I've had private school envy ever since. I look forward to responses.

All seemed to breathe freedom and peace, and to make one forget the world and its sad turmoils.

do you go directly to bennington after?

OP, you know that all you had to do was go watch a few episodes of "Facts of Life."

I went to a boarding school in the eighties. Moving from a public middle school with 45 kids in each class to a private situation with 8 to 12 kids was remarkable. I hated it at first as I couldn't hide from the teachers, but that attention really made a difference, got me into a really good school despiyte my average ways. For me though, the experience did seem like a vacation. Someone made you breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day; and we got to play soccer or squash all afternoon.

I did not see or directly hear about any hot activity between a Prefect and 3rd Former; but my cross hall neighbor and super sexy roommate in the Fifth Form used to love to take turns wrestling me every Sunday night. To this day, I understand it to be the most important tie of my life. It set me on a course, so thanks Dad.

What about uhhh private time?

I went to a private prep school. I loved it in hindsight but when I was there I complained unfairly about a lot of things, but it gave me skills and connections I'm still using. I felt special after I graduated but not while I was there.

I went many moons ago. It was a mixed bags. The opportunities were amazing. At the same time, it was a pressure cooker, especially around college admissions.

Huntington Hartford the heir to the A&P fortune was sent to a prep school for the Upper class in New England. I think it was Choate. His mother was a social climber. HH was ridiculed and ostracized by the other boys there. They tortured him. He was nouveau riche and the wrong kind of noveau riche. His ffamily was in the grocery business.

Groceries, how sordid.

R14, i recall that too, and in the dead of winter, isolated in the woods like we were, kids started to go crazy

A friend's kids attends private boarding schools in UK. Most Brits, even the rich ones, can no longer afford the eye-watering fees so many of his kids' school-mates are the children of African dictators, (until recently) Russian oligarchs and Chinese CCP honchos. Some schools are hot-houses for the super-intelligent, and tend to attract aspie types who can speak 4 languages fluently and practice violin in the dorm room for fun. Other schools are more suited to well-rounded kids: massive grounds with tennis courts, swimming pool, cricket pitches and fields for rugby and soccer, amazing drama & music programs.

For some reason, many of the books I read growing up featured kids at boarding schools. It seemed like a pretty normal thing and I was disappointed that I couldn’t go to one.

[quote]I did not see or directly hear about any hot activity between a Prefect and 3rd Former; but my cross hall neighbor and super sexy roommate in the Fifth Form used to love to take turns wrestling me every Sunday night.

Please translate for the public school kids

R14 here. I will also say I was going to school with more minorities than I would have in the public school. This was a good thing.

I went to a private school, but it was not boarding. My sister however was sent from Atlanta up to New York (Troy to be exact) at the beginning of the 9th grade in hopes of making her a kinder person. She spent the next 4 years at Emma Willard School and sadly it did nothing to make her a kinder person. The only benefit gotten out of it was her being gone most of the time for 4 years. That was heaven.

I love the history and patina of the old British 'public schools.' So gorgeous! Ralph Lauren can only make cheap replicas of this world.

It's where you find the booze and the boys.

In seventh grade, I read A Separate Peace and wanted to go to one of the Andovers. I actually got my parents to attend an information session when reps were in my city, and probably could have completed an application. Ultimately I stayed close to home and attended a local but well-regarded private high school.

You mean one of the Phillips, Andover or Exeter. The latter was the setting for A Separate Peace.

Last, r26.

I didn't go to an American prep school however I taught at Le Rosey and enjoyed it. A top international boarding school. Every winter the school moved from the Lake Geneva campus to the Gstaad campus for 10 weeks. Loved it though my boyfriend didn't love I was gone for so long. As for the idea the chicest boarding schools are degenerate drug dens, I didn't find it so, though this was a few decades ago. The children of .01% capitalist titans, plutocrats and minor royals can be surprisingly wholesome and should not be held accountable, yet, for their families' crimes and vulgarities. They are just kids.

No, but my Mom was secretary to the headmaster of a funky, liberal, elite international boarding school in Northern California in the 1970s that had some elements of what r18 describes. I was invited to attend on scholarship because my Mom worked there, but it was just a bit too off for me. We attended a lot of events there. I loved the staff, their families, and the students I met -- interesting, wealthy and/or influential people from all over the world. I felt welcomed there, but my gut feeling was that I didn't belong with all that privilege. Didn't know how to describe it then.

Some dish: Mom met with some celebs who toured the campus. One was "Mrs. Charles Black" (Shirley Temple) whom she hated. Total Nixon Chick. The other was Debbie Reynolds ("she rubbed me the wrong way") with unknown Carrie Fisher, whom she and all the staff just loved. Carrie did not attend and just a year or so later did Star Wars.

Ended up going to college at an elite Liberal Arts school and living in the dorms, which I hated after the first few shroomings with straight guys. Found nirvana at a generic, mega State University.

Wondering if my life would have turned out differently had I attended The Athenian School. Ended up putting myself through college and grad school and fulfilling most of my dreams, but without the hairy chest I wanted.

R25, I actually read “a separate peace” in boarding school

R29 interesting insight, thanks. AI says that’s in the top few most expensive boarding school in the USA. Boarding Tuition is just under $90k per annum. By comparison in the UK, something like Eton College now runs in the high £60k’s all in including the recently added VAT charges on private education fees. It’s rare to see a successful tax for the rich like that.

Le Rosey was USD 181,800 last year.

geesh

I’m sure some of you guys read Summerhill back in the day. It’s still around.

yes the mind boggles but for plutocrats its nothing. If mommy or daddy buys a chalet in Gstaad to spend some time with junior on the slopes, and do some social climbing, a well-located Gstaad property is CHF 9.5M–CHF 12M. If they pop into the Geneva car show an SUV like the Maybach G-Class or Landaulet could easily be CH $500,000 or more. Graduation present watch - Patek Philippe, Aquanaut or Nautilus 80K.

The Falcon 8x to drop of Junior at Le Rosey is $50 million.

My two nephews attend private schools. Both are teenagers. They are two of the nicest and smartest people I know.

Memory serving, Diana Ross sent her girls to Le Rosey. I think they didn't like it.

In college (in CT), I knew several guys who went to prep school, including one of my roommates. He was a nasty drunk, although hot AF. He had gone to Choate. Another guy on my floor had gone to Andover, and he was tall, blond, cute, and very sweet. But he had a terrible drinking problem. He once had to be taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He didn't make it through the first year.

Fitful affair with a beautiful but surly, Hotchkiss blueblood. (Hot Kiss, cold heart)

r29 Hello, fellow Contra Costa Countian. (I grew up there in the '50s/'60s. )

Went to boarding school for a year, 1971-72. Was constipated for the first month.

Seriously, I was happy to be there because my parents were breaking up and my house was a hell hole.

Why were you constipated? All that dick up your ass?

I'm an Upper Richmond School girl myself.

Upper Richmond's REALLY top drawer!

R42, I went to boarding school on merit, but I do recall “orphans” - kids sent to this boarding school who simply needed to be out of the house, either the parents were breaking up badly, or they simply didn’t want kids around after a certain point. I always felt bad for them

Have you never heard of a lovely thing called "boarding school"? I'll bring my hah-monica.

Most kids are at boarding school for one of two reasons: 1) they're gifted and so their parents want them to have the best education possible, and 2) their parents want them out of the house.

There are far more there for the reason of 2) than 1).

Like being in a minimum security prison.

You forgot #3, R47. The parents want them to stop misbehaving and buckle down and study in a concentrated environment. In other words, they're stuck there and can't escape.

That's the same as #2, r49.

Well I think there are other reasons for the super prestige ones. Class prestige, snobbery, safety (if they are from shit hole countries), internationalisation, cosmopolitanism, exposure to English as lingua franca, pleasure for the kids (a great and chic school is very enjoyable, for many). Also good education is not the norm in some countries.

I went to a first tier Midwestern university and there were tons of people who went to Exeter, Groton, Hotchkiss and the like. They were all legacy., all so white they glowed in the dark, and universally unintellectual. I cannot pronounce the name Choate with a level of contempt.

They all seemed to know their futures were secure.

I went. It was a very good education. Teachers believed in your ability to think and reason. Encouraged discussion. I didn't like spending weekends at the school so mostly stayed with relatives or my roommate's relatives. My family was very middle class. I had a scholarship and a bursary. Some kids there were extremely privileged.

I went to a boarding school from 1979 through the 80’s in Peekskill, NY called Eastland. We had the best house mother named Mrs. Garrett. I was frenemies with three other girls and more distantly with a girl named Kimberly who commuted in from the city. We experienced so many antics and life lessons some of which were very special

r53, I agree that my literature classes I took in boarding school had brilliant teachers and the classes were small enough to really thoroughly discuss things like "a portrait of an artist as a young man" or " Tess of the d'urbervilles" - they were the only classes I've taken where I looked forward to writing essays on what I'd read

[quote]Memory serving, Diana Ross sent her girls to Le Rosey. I think they didn't like it.

It seems like if your name was Chudney, boarding school would be one of the few places where you actually fit in.

Very strict but every so often we got to stand on our desks and recite poems

It's a way for the rich to dump their psycho kids. I went to private school and the richest kids had all the drugs. They were to ones that loves to shoplift too.

I attended a boarding school from '76-'83.

"It was the best of times and the worst of times."

Overall, I'm extremely thankful that I was given the opportunity to do so by my parents.

My school was a little, international (a big deal back then), missionary governed school in the Himalayas. They did bill themselves as a "Christian" school, but they no longer do. There was definitely a push towards a good "christian" education. For years we had mandatory church service every Sunday. Those rules did lighten up as the years went on.

Mostly, it was a lot of fun. At the time, it seemed like we had no freedom, but in retrospect we were given a lot of leeway to explore the beautiful mountains, valleys etc. of the Himalayas.

Wouldn't trade that experience for the world. I'm still in touch with many of my classmates, despite time and geography intevening.

^^^ Oops, forgot to add. There was plenty boy-on-boy action across the board.

Was it a Christian DAY school?

r61, no it was a BOARDING school, but we did have many day scholars - mostly kids of missionaries who lived/taught/preached on the hillside and at school. It was also co-ed, which was an important factor for my mother.

We had no uniforms and geared more for students who would eventually enter colleges in the US and UK. Although, we had over 32 nations represented, out of a student body of 500 (K-12).

Your parents sent you away to the HIMALAYAS? Even Baroness Schrader would be impressed.

Does Juvenile Hall count?

You should watch the British movie "If," with Malcolm McDowell. Classic.

Another 80s prep-school product here, echoing R14: great opportunities and talented, very smart teachers who are invested in the students. If you have a special talent (e.g., music, art, math), teachers will recognize it and encourage your development.

The pressure to be admitted to the elite college system is intense. If you're not among the winners, the pain can be Level 9 out of 10, at least until you're older and wiser.

Dick for days.

r63, Lol!

Actually, I lived in India at the time, so it wasn't that far away from home.

I think OP was looking for some Nifty tales, and none of you delivered.

[quote]Le Rosey was USD 181,800 last year.

Does that include a meal plan?

How could you be close to your parents if they send you away to be raised by others? Why bother having kids?

R71, Trans generational wealth. They all believe in reincarnation.

R5 it depends if it’s all boys or co-ed. But the main issue is the stress. Top prep school work in extremes. Extreme laziness or extreme pressure to succeed. Being cool in many of these academic pressure cookers means maintaining top grades under a vigorous advanced class schedule with an arms race for extracurricular activities.

Then they crash out at times with heavy drinking, drugs, and maybe sex. Talking more top tier co-ed preps.

Personally, if my child were to go to prep school I’d probably still want it to be co-ed because boys and girls learning to navigate along the opposite sex in a professional setting is important.

But I feel boys and girls learn better without the distraction of the opposite sex.

R59 Did Sally Kellerman and Olivia Hussey teach there?

And they kept singing that stupid song and rubbing their asses all over the library tables.

[quote]Did Sally Kellerman and Olivia Hussey teach there?

Sally Kirkland and Olivia Coleman.

R52 I cannot even pronounce the name Choate

[quote]And they kept singing that stupid song and rubbing their asses all over the library tables

I like that song and told Sally Kellerman myself.

When I lived in Chicago and was a teen day camp counselor, we had a woman who called her cat Choate, because that was the school she went to. I thought it was a stupid name for a cat.

R77, rhymes with "oat"

R69, I do have some pretty good gossip, but it would reveal the identity of the school and maybe even my identity. So I'm keeping it all to myself.

r80, does it involve muggles and wizards?

R77, it's the word "coat" with a hard "ch" in front.

R79, she sounds very new money. I bet she wears a Choate sweatshirt every weekend and has the sticker on her back windshield, too.

R79, I meant to add, where did Miss Choate Cat go to college? Because the prep-school pedigree is only worth as much as the college it gets you into. It's all about what college you get into, baby!

My nephew went to an expensive but too-Christian boys school on Chattanooga and didn't last a year. His parents did not have the funds to compete with his roommate whose mother was a hedge fund manager and had the private plan, too much money, drug problem cliches and got my nephew drawn into his world. And to my sister's horror, they were obviously having sex. That was it - back to Charleston...

Choate

Pull out the o a little and curl your lips

Chohte

Ducky on the Lacrosse team got a full athletic scholarship while she was still at Choate.

r83, Bingo

My former boyfriend/current FWB went to the Doon School in India and he has related some extraordinary tales of his years there. Apparently there were lots of horny boys then and, as I learned through personal experience, now. A few of his mates have visited him here in LA, each of them unbelievably gorgeous, and still horny. 😅

r84, I'm not sure- I was a teenager that didn't care about something like that, I put her out of my mind after learning about her cat's name. She would work in conversations that she went there. None of us ever even heard of it. Even when I told my friends that I was going to Berkeley, no one cared, because they really didn't "hear" about it.

Choate also rhymes with scrote which sounds like it's fitting for the student body.

R85: Baylor or McCallie? I don't think of McCallie as "too Christian" but think Baylor is probably more so.

I'm ready to go to saint george's

It’s SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT!

What’s the one that looks like a Cotswolds village?

I went to Delphian, the Private Scientology boarding school in Oregon.

That’s not even like a regular boarding school.

It was a lot like Hogwarts, to be honest, living in an old Jesuit monastery on top of a hill, surrounded by forest.

The boys dorms are basically like a fraternity. The boys are like frat bros. No gay stories, unfortunately.

Every bathroom has six shower stalls. You want to be careful not to use showers 2 or 5 because the drain would be in shower 3 and someone in shower 1 could urinate and it would travel across shower 2 to get to the drain in shower 3.

I was basically scheduled from 8:30am to 9:20pm every weekday. From 8:30am to 3:00pm, we’d have course time, which would include various seminars throughout the week — literature seminars, foreign language seminars, current events seminars. There would be designated reading time and writing time. We were required to read multiple books per week. We were required to keep and use dictionaries with us. Besides that, we would work on one course all day, following a checklist of tasks and signing off each step as we completed the task on the checklist. Generally no teacher lectures. Sometimes, to complete a task, we’d have to be checked out by another student who had done that course and they would sign off on our checklist,

Lunch would be from 12:30pm to 1:10pm.

From 3:25pm to 6:00pm, we’d have three afternoon classes, like choir, music, computers, weightlifting, etc.

Dinner would be at 6:00pm. Beginning at 6:30pm, we’d have more scheduled things like chores (like working in the scullery), study hall, jazz choir, or play rehearsal.

9:20pm, we’d have free time until 10:00pm, then we’d have dorm check, and lights out would be in 10:30pm.

Your room would be checked for tidiness every day. If you flunked room check, you’d get one penalty point. White glove check was every Monday. If you flunked white glove, you’d get two penalty points.

If you were late for anything, you’d get two penalty points. If you were more than 15 minutes late, you’d get four penalty points.

If you got four penalty points in one week, you’d be put on restriction the following week, not allowed to go to the rec room or participate in any weekend activities. And you’d have to do six hours of scullery on the weekend.

Avon Old Farms School

R89, Berkeley beats Choate a thousand times over.

And you didn't mention it quickly, either, and only when the context made it helpful to mention.

🙏

Wow, r95, the Scientology school. I did a double take when I saw Delphian. How well do you believe it prepared you for college or life's next phase? One of Paul Haggis's daughters attended Delphian and left illiterate. I noticed science and math weren't included in the seminars you listed.

It was all well and good until that closet case asshole Gene made me fall out of a tree!

r91, McCallie - super fundie now and proud of their alum Pat Robertson.

R85. Ted Turner (founder of CNN, sometime owner of the Atlanta Braves, once married to Jane Fonda) was once their most famous alum. My liberal cousins in Chatt. sent two sons there as day students.

I had numerous preppy roommates in college. Homosex was nothing to them but a gay identity was anathema and love itself they viewed as a silly middle class myth that no adult would actually believe in.

I think the most negative thing was that some of them believed they had already met everyone who mattered and did not want to meet anyone else.

r101, that's true, but my nephew met no one like that - or my sister wouldn't allow it. Maybe that's one unspoken reason why they pulled him out mid-semester, but his roommate with Mom's money was def. a sociopathic MAGA and that was his crowd.

r88, this is r59 tell your current FWB I went to school right up the mountain from him! If you tell him the "American" school, he'll know what you're talking about. Small world!

BTW, Doon school turns out some very gentlemanly scholars!

[quote]it's the word "coat" with a hard "ch" in front.

Wouldn't that be Chcoat?

R105. He says, “Woodstock School?”

Woodlawn

r107, he would be correct!

Again, what a small world.

It beats water boarding school

Very interesting thread; I wished I had a better education that would've translated into more opportunities/connections in liffe, but the thought of a regimented life sounds horrible. Plus, I've always liked having my own space and doing my own thing, so I probably wouldn't have lasted in a boarding school (if my parents could've afforded such a thing)

r59/r105, I used to follow a blogger who went to that school. I can't believe that 20 years later I still remember that fact.

Fags.

r112 Wow! That's amazing! Wonder who the blooger was/is.

My parents sent me to Putney. My father was in the diplomatic corps and didn't want me grow up in foreign postings. Sure, Father, such as Switzerland and France.

I learned more about sex as I hit puberty than I suppose a lot of men learn in the Navy. The older boys knew how to groom you so you didn't really know what was happening until it did. Finally the group encounters started and I got the picture. Eventually the fellows in my class started to do the same to the younger, and so it went, like a rolling complicity. It only got rough with resistance. Otherwise it was more matter-of-fact and "grow up because this is how it is."

I suspected the faculty and staff knew, but nothing ever happened and no one said a word. It seems odd to me now that I never heard of any of the adults taking advantage, and by 17 we were all so jaded word would have gotten out. Some of my classmates paired off and stayed together at university.

So many happily married men with big families smiling in their photos with perfect smiles.