I have the biggest crush on married work friend. How can I get rid of it?

Email him hole pics. CC HR.

Looks wise this guy isn’t even my type and nothing special. Just an AWG, but there is something there that is just irresistible to me.

Cut off your balls, OP.

Take up drinking.

OP, this may seem counterintuitive but it has worked for me.

Arrange to spend some time with him socially… coffee, a museum, whatever. Not a movie, though. Should be conducive to conversation.

The more you two talk, the better the chance that you’ll learn things about him that’ll turn you off.

1) The Heart wants what It wants.

2) Familiarity breeds contempt (R5)

3) All is impermanent.

Walk into the bathroom after he takes a dump

[quote] There is zero chance my feelings would ever be returned.

Developing “feelings” for someone you know is unavailable and/or would never feel the same way about you is preventing you from pursuing a viable romantic relationship. Ask yourself why you are doing this and why you feel like you don’t deserve a real relationship.

R8 because I live in a rural area where there are no settings where gay or bi men can meet each other and hang out. Unless you count hookup apps which around here have a pot selection.

I had a similar experience, OP. It came to a head when he got engaged, and we threw the couple a party after work one day. I went a bit overboard on the wedding gift. They had just bought a house together, and I got them a very (very) large Home Depot gift card. When they opened the card/gift they were quite pleased with the gift card -and then they saw the amount on it. She was stunned, and from the look on his face he instantly figured it all out. She started to say something, but he nudged her and gave her a "later" look. By the end of the party I am sure he had told her. She was very nice to me, and he did his best to avoid me. And my feelings began to fade very quickly. I'm not suggesting you buy your crush an extravagant gift, but try what R5 suggested. Focus on his imperfections. Pay attention to how he eats, the clothes he wears, and any annoying vocal mannerisms. We all have our bad points!

Good luck!

Unrequited love is as old as time

Unrequited love is not love, r11.

Unrequited love can be a way to avoid the vulnerability and risk involved in a real, reciprocal relationship. It allows the individual to stay in a familiar "pseudo-relationship" that demands less emotional investment and commitment, as it can never be a true partnership

r12 Who said it was?

You have a crush on a work friend?!

This will resolve over time when you stop acting like a 13 year old girl.

Oh, give the guy a break, R14. Crushes happen -even to adults. OP has already identified it as a crush, not a relationship -or even a potential relationship, so no harm no foul. He asked for suggestion on how to quickly get over it -not how to consummate it.

I have a crush on a former married coworker, too. I just had an odd dream about him the other night. But I didn’t call him!

Everyone gets crushes.

There are solutions to every dilemma.

Get over it, OP.

For OP to add to his playlist

The ball is in your court, OP. Your company's "holiday" party is in three months. Plenty of time to brush up on sports and get to the gym. No doubt the alcohol will be flowing that night. Tell him you have a gift for the office in your car but it's a bit heavy and could he help you carry it in. Then his candy cane and eggnog are yours.

Married - strike one.

Work friend - Strike two.

Zero chance my feelings will be returned - Strike three.

You're out.

The fact he's straight should be strikes one, two, and three.

You have to develop feelings for somebody else. That’s the only thing that works

Imagine him as a collection of atoms and empty space, or a feeding tube enveloped by flesh. Works like a charm. It's a variation of Jonathan Swift's idea that (I'm paraphrasing) the fastest way to kill an infatuation with someone is to look at that person's skin under a magnifying glass.

My married work boss was on Scruff. My brother was on Grindr. Who shall I locate on the sniffies?

Yikes, this happened to a female friend of mine and she transferred to a different office of her firm, across the country, to get over it

Why can't you just enjoy being friends?

[quote] My married work boss was on Scruff. My brother was on Grindr. Who shall I locate on the sniffies?

What were they into?

You can acknowledge (to yourself) that you're attracted to a co-worker and enjoy the connection without taking it any further. As a gay man who has many straight friends, I just let myself feel any attractions I have toward some of them but continue on with my own life. Sometimes I feel like some of that underlying attraction actually helps with close friendships. I suspect even straight guys feel that from time to time.

Me too. He’s 24 and really smart. I’m his lead. Maybe it’s more envy of his youth.

I do enjoy just being friends with him R27. That’s why I don’t want to feel attracted to him because I feel like I get awkward and I don’t want to ruin what we have. I’m going to try doing what R5 and R29 suggested.

Sometimes I do get mixed signals from him. Like last week I was cutting up with another male coworker and he walked out all flushed and angry like. I asked him what was going on and he said he didn’t like when that particular guy talked to me. I thought that was a bit odd.

R10 You must have been *very* besotted if you didn't realize that was going to be inappropriate and embarassing!

This happened to me at work though the guy wasn't married (he was living with his girlfriend). It was not really a "big" crush. I wasn't that into him physically. But I felt like we had a really good friendship and at times you forget that's all it is. We actually had a great work friendship and had a lot of things in common. Even confessed some things that happened to us when we were younger (not relationship things) that were personal. We both ended up moving far away but we text sometimes.

Run him over in the parking lot and make it look like an accident. If you can't have him, no one can!

last week I was cutting up with another male coworker

R31 - cutting up what?

Old credit cards, Rose R35!!! I meant were talking and joking around.

OP, has this happened to you before? Is there a certain type of guy that attracts you this intensely? Have you ever ended up in a relationship with one of them and how did it work out? Or maybe you're just starving for something that life isn't currently giving you, and there's something about this guy that signals to you he's got it. You might try writing or diagraming it out to understand it all better. The good news is that you seem to understand that this guy is not the answer and that it would be a mistake to lose a friend in a misguided attempt to make him into a lover. Better to ride this infatuation through and keep looking for the real thing.

You need psychotherapy.

I’ve had a crush on my straight work colleague for 20 years now. He’s gotten fat and bald during that time, but I’d still marry him tomorrow if I had the chance

The best way to get over one man is to get under another one.

R40 - Mae West. Is that you?