Tasteful Friends: Chris Meloni’s NY Home

I love it. He and his wife have great taste. I bet he tastes great too.

Interesting, quirky taste. Very nice place.

I love him but damn, they had money to burnnnnnn.

I love him and I love this spectacular home.

it's very dark and the ceiling on the lower level is so low

hideous... self-important naturalists....we only used felled trees from South America....fuck off...the fact they do the whole AD thing is beyond narcissism. ...oh, and I wear only white, so I don't interrupt the flow while having an intimate conversation near the trendy and ridiculous fireplace...we got the idea from a hotel in Nice where I had a Grinfr hookup while my wife was getting waxed.

They’re a little self-important but he’s so hot I don’t care.

R2 He sure does. He has spent upwards of twenty years on network television. I can’t imagine what he’s worth.

Apparently he was making $400k an episode by the time he left SVU.

At one point he had a place in Studio City. This guy is rolling in it.

I want to see his sex dungeon.

I like him but he can't hide how his huge ego. The apartment is quirky but it works and I love some of the furniture.

His wife seems nice and laid back, but I didn't detect any sizzle between them.

I want him inside me quite deeply.

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Living in a place like that in New York has always been a dream of mine.

Hate their esthetic.

Or even their aesthetic.

Does he have a rumpus room? He seems the type to have a rumpus room.

What an incredible home! I just love his aesthetic!! And his wife, obviously. The place is amazing. Gorgeous. The materials, the colors the design, the artwork, etc. Wow. Who knew.

It looks like an art gallery, not a place to live. Meh

The cleaners were in. Can you imagine the amount of dust all those objects collect? His cleaning crew have their hands full, keeping that place clean.

Did he show hole?

I got a Hypomania vibe with tons of expensive, beautiful, silly stuff to back that internet theory.

If he’s into buddhism, I hope he’s not one of those sloppy adherents that flips script when the answer is “no”.

I’m so tired of seeing this guy and his mostly naked, two day old chicken cutlet old man body on those commercials for that shit he shills. You ancient fraus can keep on pretending that he’s something to look at. He might still be attractive in someway if he weren’t such an obnoxious narcissist. But that makes it even worse. Wish she’d go away.

I love how you all think that THEY designed this space. They did not. They had designers - and yes they chose from things picked out, but c'mon guys. This is a curated space by experts that they chose from.

That being said - I don't like it. Too much marble and slatted wood. Boring. They have some nice individual pieces, but it has zero warmth and it all looks like 'purposeful' style rather than someone who has taste and style.

And the daughter's rave thing? Hope they did that BEFORE they moved in. They allowed the kids to spray paint the walls? That's because they were going to do some reno work. If not - then they've indulged that brat way too much.

The master bedroom is bad. The kitchen is bad - too dark and doesn't seem to go together. That bathroom off the kitchen is tacky. The tile on the balcony is awful - and the 1980s round balcony fixtures looks just like that - 1980s round balcony fixtures.

That being said - WHY DIDN'T THEY TURN ON THE FUCKING LIGHTS? That's part of the problem why this doesn't show that great.

I don't think the designers they worked with were happy with the end product. I think his wife - (who couldn't fucking get out of the way - how many appearances did she make? ) likes to think of herself as an artiste and directed things HER way - and it shows.

4/10. I'd have to make so many changes. It's new and shiny and clean - but this isn't anything to look up to.

I'm extremely disappointed. And how many pics of himself are in his home? I hate to say this - but I think I would NOT like this man in real life - narcissism just oozes from his pores. Pity.

It's not "slatted wood" it's "fluted wood..." Walnut.

Holy shit thought this was a parody until it kept playing and I realized it isn’t. “This is the coffee table, my wife designed it…” “We buy already felled wood from South America… we love marble. There’s different marble in every room”

His white ‘urban Buddhist” outfit, the pretentiousness of it all. And that’s not even mentioned his gushing over his “Diane Arbus homage to super heroes and sideshow freaks” sculpture.

There’s NO way his old ass sits on that absurd 1980s Dr Zeus furniture without having back pain.

R27, it's Seuss! not Zeus.

R25 - whatever. Too much of it - I think I saw it in 3 different places - along with how many different types of marble?

Like I said - it's his 'artiste' wife and his own taste that fucked this place up.

Oh - and you know what his wife's name is? Sherman Williams. Like the paint store. No, I'm not kidding.

I'm pretty sure the designers that worked with them do NOT have this listed in their portfolio.

Didn't like the furniture, but it's a nice home, overall. I was afraid it would be all white, but a nice mix of colors. It isn't cluttered which was my other concern.

His wife picked everything. He said it in the video I thought it was too dark. I like the wine fridge, that's it

[quote]His home is phenomenal

Says someone who doesn't know what the word means.

[quote]Does he have a rumpus room? He seems the type to have a rumpus room.

Oh, I imagine he can keep his rump in any room he wants to.

I"d suck the socks offa him in a minute.

R34 - while he stares into one of the many portraits and pics of himself in his apartment.

Hands up - how many of you have portraits or pics of JUST YOURSELF in your apartment? Even framed - in a hallway?

I'd be fucking embarrassed for anyone to see that I have ONE.

They just celebrated 30 years of marriage and then they made an appearance on Architectural Digest.

This smells like they will sell and possibly divorce. I believe the last child has gone on to school.

R36 - their kids are 24 and 21.

And you should know by now - the youngest needs to move out and THEN they need to have a vow renewal before the divorce happens. That's the next step. And so it is written. Pretty sure it's in the Bible.

He was hot and yummy, back in the day, and I've enjoyed his work in the past but....

"our crib..."

Cringe.

I don't like the home. It's douche bro but the "artistic" branch of the bros. Trying waaaaaay too hard to be cool and modern and worthy of a spread in Arch Digest.

Doesn't feel the slightest bit genuine....like real people actually live here.

Oh...I stopped to post this about 45 seconds into the video...

Skipped through the whole thing.

The so called 2nd floor was better than the first...marginally. The kids' rooms had some warmth and felt real.

Yeah....no one is cooking in that kitchen.

So much marble. So cold. So lifeless.

I loathe marble.

[quote] [R36] - their kids are 24 and 21.

I'd love to see some of the places you guys live.

Why? r41

We're supposed to blindly adore this apartment because it belongs to a rich person so it must be "good" because it's high end?

Fuck the fuck off.

Yeah, go wash the doilies your mother left you when she died, R42.

Ouch!

R9 - From 2014-2020, he lived at 1822 Camino Palmero Street, longtime home of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, seen on their series.

I hate the furniture in the living area. It’s like something from the Big Brother House.

I love you, Chris!

Are Chris and Sherman in same building at West and Perry, where Hugh Jackman lived before moving to Chelsea?

The space isn't big at all. Maybe coz it was dark and seemed smaller and the ceiling is low...I don't like it

Moi house

Is a very very very fine

Mess.

Hiss.

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Fuck me, Chris!

He was last breath of "still sexy" was 2017 and "Happy," but the apartment is a bore. Since then, he looks like the guy at the gym, the one who is way too desperate to get you started on a "regime" of protein powders out of the trunk of his car..

The apartment does seem to be genuinely to the taste of he and his wife, which is laudable. Less laudable is that their taste is a synthesis of every too-cool-to-be-an-actor actor which mistakes knowing a little bit about a few things to being effortlessly avant garde and "edgy" in a Marriott Moxy brand sort of edginess.

It reminds me of a pretentious boutique hotel, circa 2011.

Destroy my hole, Chris!

Smarmy. Him AND the apartment.

Breed my shithole, Chris!

I like it. It's interesting and unique and I would not mind living there. I would definitely have to redecorate the lower level.

I would love to redecorate his lower level.

I hate the kitchen

But it’s not like these people eat anything beyond coffee and protein bars.

Is that crystal light in the kitchen the source of his powers?

I want every inch and every drop 💦

He is just such a likeable person.

Pound me into a pile of dust, Chris!

He looks like he waxes his pubes and crack.

He got some amazing art and decor pieces. Im mad for that coffee table. but overall it gave me a very late 80s-early 90s vibe that I just didnt care for.That stairwell especially is atrocious.

I just know he’s bisexual.

We have an out of control fan frau, or maybe a 75 year old fan queen trolling this thread for this guy. I can't see any appeal in him. I never saw that absurd cop show he was on forever, saw a couple of episodes of the prison series he was in and yeah, he was smokin. But the commercials of him almost nude and posing for the camera, hairless and looking like he has body wasting circa early 90s AIDS pandemic are beyond gross and tiresome. I think I'd find him likable if it weren't for the smug arrogance. He's been told for so long that he's "hot" that he's clearly a delusional narcissist.

How long with that bougie lifestyle be able to last though? There's only so much cash those tacky Tommie Copper commercials will bring in. Is it possible he still gets checks from the Law and Order show? If so, is it really that much? It was popular I guess, but it wasn't exactly Friends or Seinfeld.

Use my slutty bunghole as your personal toolbox, Chris!

R69 = So jelly.

I like a lot of the home but parts of it are too dark for me.

"we couldn't reach our tile guy because he was on his boat in the middle of the Mediterranean..."

🤮

R79, Yeah, that sounded so phony. If he really wanted tile, there are plenty of reputable 'tile guys' to choose from. I hated the wood they chose instead.

Also the comment, "This is where the magic happens." when he was at his desk is such a narc thing to say.

Whatever. I found it interesting. Yes, maybe a little too much muchness, but interesting. The upper level where the kitchen and living room was didn't look lived in. It looked like a showroom at Floor and Decor. Incoherent.

Yeah, nothing says “ready for a video shoot” like a sink full of dirty dishes and sticky countertops.

I didn't like it. Sterile, not at all cosy.

It's nice to see a modern living space that isn't all white. I like that they actually have original art and sculptures in their home instead of bland crap that looks like it was purchased at Home Goods.

The poor dear died g know how to pronounce Diane Arbus—it’s “Dee-ann.”

That living room view appeared to be looking north towards Chelsea and Hudson Yards. So they are on the west side further downtown. Somewhere between the WV and Hudson Square(?) any better info?

*did not know how

R48 no—only because the windows / view would be completely different.

I did enjoy a lot of the art work.

R70 I believe is it located in the West Village. He sold his previous condo located in Midtown.

sorry R79

He seems to be married to a lesbian. That explains a lot.

The statue with the prominent penis in the living room is also interesting.

She's either a lesbian or a trans.

Here's his previous apartment

The hole or the toolbox r83?

Never the twain shall meet…

R87 that location is good for one thing g only—shooing away random tourists lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is a zone between TS and CP.

It’s a random house for living.

I do not like the sofa at all. Pretty nice overall but it doesn't look cozy to me.

Fuck the fillings out of my teeth on your gorgeous balcony, Chris!

Chris Meloni's son, Dante, is hot.

is he the dark haired guy w/a shirt on or the shirtless guy beside him?

Interesting that the Meloni kids were both born via surrogates. I would have thought his powerful load would have made a woman pregnant with just a look!

The Aryan Robot wife could not bear live human offspring.

Here's a different kind of NYC home...QUIRKY!!!

I love it but knowing DL, you're gonna rip it to SHREDS!

Is that red-based painting in the earlier NYC apartment in R87 a portrait of Chris?

One word: vapid. He was sexy until he opened his mouth.

He seems nice, but like R15/ R16 I dont like this aesthetic either. Each to their own though, and at least its not all white/ griege

I prefer the place R95 posted, more cosy

R95 Brooklyn doesn’t *really* count

Hate it. COLD.

The house might be cold but the man is fucking hot.

I want him to fuck me on that dining room table.

OMG that house at r95.....it's......a LOT.

The Meloni house may be cold as an icebox but that is......too far on the other end of the spectrum.

Based upon what you can tell from the city views, which neighborhood is this apartment located in? Good Lord it must have cost a fortune to buy and remodel. I figured he'd earned a lot from Law & Order, but this is serious fuck you money.

Art is interesting, rest of the furnishings are not imo

Meloni is great and it is a cool place, but does anyone actually live in any of these AD places. Where are these people’s actual stuff and do they keep it hidden all the time? The dirty socks, the pizza box from last night and so on.

If he is bisexual it's only in cases where his body is worshiped and he gets some other muscle head to suck his cock. No other touching. Just worship.

It's not gay if a muscle head admires another muscle head. Or so they think.

R107 That’s probably the case but it’s still hot to think about.

R104 read R79

In or just south of the WV

Lousy view.

For those of us fresh off the turnip truck (and not familiar with NYC) would someone be so kind as to explain what "WV" is?

R93 His son is the shirtless guy.

R111 West Village.

[quote] The Aryan Robot wife could not bear live human offspring.

Leave her alone. She's cool.

“Greenwich Village” is really three neighborhoods

1. West Village

2. the middle, generic “Greenwich Village” or “NYU” ;)

3. East Village

…considered the “best” part of the Village. The more expensive in terms of real estate, for sure.

the lower level is like an underground minimall. low ceilings and small spaces divided by sliding doors. it’s oppressive.

To add: technically—historically— the Meatpacking was considered just the northwest section of the West Village, ending on the south side of 14th. The north side of 14th was the beginning of Chelsea. YMMV

Thanks for the WV explanation and the details about the larger overall area.

I thought the WALNUT fluted wood in the kitchen was a good choice versus continuing the tiles from the terrace, which were a bad choice already.

At some points I thought he was playing around - the crystal light fixture ( his wife’s visible hand turning it on was clearly a schtick) and the tile guy on his boat in the Mediterranean. But he seemed serious about the pre-felled tree.

Agree that there is too much marble of too many varieties and the comment about the furniture look g like a big brother set was spot on.

It’s a very nice place, but you can only take a white box low ceiling apartment so far. The only thing I really hate are the spiral stairs. Was there another set of stairs I missed? The place seems pretty big, I don’t understand why they didn’t put in a decent set of stairs. Especially given that the space is already lacking architectural interest. Penny wise, pound foolish choice, IMO. That would dealbreaker for me.

A can of Reddi-Whip and Chris’ ass and I’d spend the whole weekend happy ❤️.

R119

You’re welcome. The WV, Meatpacking, Chelsea and the Hudson waterfront have each changed so much over the past ~35 years. If you came around today, a resident could point out a thousand things that aren’t like before… yet it still can feel the same. People joke that the west coast had no respect for history, yet Manhattan has “morphed” just like LA.

Footnote: the last remnant of a true Meatpacking district was sent packing just a few weeks ago…new buildings coming soon!

I didn't love the lower level and with all the money they have he could have put in an elevator.

Another day, another change. Our beloved neighborhood seminary, with its beautiful English church/garden, has been let out to an SEC(!) school desperate for paid glory.

I get that the world is changing…,but to see Nashville strivers arriving in Chelsea seems a bit much.

a/k/a Hudson U.

[quote] modern, colorful, eclectic and clean.

Everything but homey.

I could make myself at home there no problem.