Movie Cliches You Detest

When they think the bad guy is dead, start to relax, and then AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

"Snark," one-liners, and asides to the audience.

A memory of something you never saw in the first place.

I've mentioned this before, but it drives me crazy when explosions have the propulsive effect of blowing a character sky high, inches away from the fireball, but there is no damage to the actor. As if massive fireballs do not have ambient heat that would melt the person.

Every single person eating Chinese food straight from the carton perfectly with chop sticks.

When somebody falls or gets thrown out of a closed window, smashing the glass, then falling four stories and landing on top of a car and just getting up and walking away without so much as a scratch.

The second time in any show where someone says, "it's not your fault," or "I got you."

When one character asks a question about why something is happening and another says “I can’t tell you now! There’s no time!”

It’s always a screenwriting contrivance meant solely to keep information from the audience. It never makes any sense.

“I’ll see you in HELL”

[Quote]Every single person eating Chinese food straight from the carton perfectly with chop sticks.

Similarly, demonstrating to the audience that a character is a lonely/depressed workaholic by having them open the fridge to find nothing but a carton of Chinese food that fails the sniff-test (if it's a man, there will also be a few beer bottles, and for women, a bottle of vodka).

Have they even used those cardboard containers for Chinese takeout in the last 15 years?

Any time someone says "This ends now."

OPERATOR, get me the police!

Characters getting stuck in elevators together to force some kind of romantic tension or confrontation.

In 37 years of city living and frequent elevator-riding, I've never once found myself in a malfunctioning one.

A man quickly gets into a taxi and says to the taxi driver-

FOLLOW THAT CAR!

If a woman throws up, it means she's pregnant. If a man throws up, it means he's a high functioning drunk. If either of them cough or gets a nosebleed, it means they're dying.

"You just don't get it, do you?"

R15, and if a woman declines alcohol she’s pregnant.

Irrational sensitivity to normal speaking voices = hangover

Grand Central, and step on it!

R4 - I'd also add that the person blown sky high is seen propelled in slow motion.

Seconding the cough = death cliché. It especially stuck out in Finding Neverland (the Barrie/ Peter Pan bio flick with Johnny Depp)

Characters being whacked in the head (often with the butt of a gun) hard enough to be rendered unconscious for a significant amount of time, only to later regain consciousness without a brain-bleed, concussion, or even so much as a headache.

The psycho's secret lair wallpapered with decades of news clippings perfectly explaining their motivations and the full timeline of their obsession.

Opening scene of an alarm clock going off and our lead's morning routine, showering, brewing coffee....

Actually, Mommie Dearest opens exactly this way, but enough already.

I'm the destruction of billions of dollars worth of buildings in downtown Los Angeles/New York/Chicago

The last 10 years are littered with the corpses of guys standing in the road and pulverized mis sentence by a truck, bus or carriage

The first thing a woman does when she comes home is pour herself a gigantic glass of red wine. The first thing a man does is pour himself a scotch neat. If either of them are poor or established addicts, they crack open a beer and throw the bottle cap in the sink.

Coming home and walking in the dark.

R24 I secretly love a movie morning routine sequence.

The bad guy(s) being shot and it's always assumed they're dead. Bang! Dead.

R29 Like Shirley MacLaine's in Postcards on the Edge?

Almost all computer passwords are easily guessed.

^At least this is true in many old movies. One shot kills a person, one punch knocks them unconscious, when that's convenient for the plot.

NYC cab drivers are middle-aged white guys who talk like gangsters from the 1930s.

Average blue collar character's know the works of Dostoyevsky, Latin, opera, etc. but they grew up and live in a West Virginia mining town.

When people with large dogs have immaculate homes... in reality their homes would be unhygienic and barn-like.

r34 good one

It's something that takes place in the present day and office buildings don't have security in the lobby. People just walk in off the street and get right on the elevators.

I grew up in a poor area in the south. These people do NOT wear black suits and ties to church, weddings, funerals, etc.

A couple has just finished having sex and when one of them gets out of bed he or she wraps the bedsheets around them. Excuse me, you were just buck naked and fucking your brains out five minutes ago and now you're suddenly shy?

Of course it's because the actor/actress doesn't want to be fully nude or it's a network tv show with censors but it always just takes me right out of the scene.

Copious, loud projectile vomiting as a response to stress, bad news, or fear.

Somebody turns on the tv and it just so happens at that exact moment there's a news report about something that's essential to the plot. This one has been done so many times.

R5- I assume you mean every caucasian person eats with chopsticks perfectly in the scene.

A couple wakes up in the morning and they immediately start having sex. They never have morning breath or have to pee or take a dump.

The stars of the movie can't live in a nice, but modest home, or a regular appointment--it's always some 2 million dollar house, anything less and they're supposed to be poor.

r45 and the kitchen in the "middle class" house is the size of a helicopter hangar.

The main character incapacitated the killer and then hangs around long enough for killer to regain consciousness. In real life, the person would get the fuck out.

Also, killer gains entry, chases character up the stairs or down to a basement when a perfectly good back door or window is present.

R45 A regular apartment

R46 Exactly!

Finding a parking spot right out front.

A full Vegas breakfast buffet mom has prepared for the family where everyone has loads of time before school and work.

Pink bakery boxes.

R50 Even better when said family members ignore the giant spread and just run out with coffee and a triangle of toast.

*sits down at the bar*: "I'll have a beer."

Women who are not 4'9" and 85lbs being lifted up and fucked vigorously against a wall.

Trash cans getting knocked over during a car chase.

A 100mph car chase in the middle of fucking Manhattan and there is no gridlock. Nope, none whatsoever.

We're having a conversation in a speeding car. Let me turn my head 90 degrees and look at you for a full ten seconds while I'm speaking.

I loathe it when someone’s loved one has been killed and the person wants to run to them and see them and cops or friends or strangers hold them back as they struggle to break free.

I’d go all honey badger on them if someone did that to me.

“I’ll send for my things!”

Send whom?

People with sixth sense. There's something you're not telling me.

In the 90s, it was really funny for somebody to bump their head and immediately say, “I’m ok!”

Casual killing of security guards at a property you are trying to invade.

Car chases where regular people somehow drive like Nascar drivers.

The nerdy kid who sits everybody down and explains how everything works.

"It should have happened like this. BUT this other thing didn't happen, so now it has to happen like THIS.

"I thought it was supposed to--"

"You THOUGHT that. But NO. The moon isn't full. Because it's a LEAP year. And the crooks drove a Plymouth Valiant, not a Mercury Comet. Don't you GET it?"

That's the one part of The Matrix that I dislike, r62. Trinity shoots an overweight 60 year old security guard through his newspaper with an uzi. Total overkill.

When the male lead always picks the bland but down-to-earth and good-hearted girl over the more sophisticated, more interesting, and more socially compatible rival.

[quote]A 100mph car chase in the middle of fucking Manhattan and there is no gridlock. Nope, none whatsoever.

You'd be surprised how often this happens!

But R66 after you take off her glasses and let down her hair, the good hearted gal is a stunning beauty.

[quote]Average blue collar character's know the works of Dostoyevsky, Latin, opera, etc. but they grew up and live in a West Virginia mining town.

R35 Same thing with the bible quoting trope. People who just start quoting some obscure line from the bible with no previous clue to the audience that they are familiar with the bible.

r43 You are one sharp tack

R28 continued - the first thing I do is turn on a light.

R71 another of my most hated cliches. Strange noises wake you up? Let's get up and investigate in the dark!

r72 so true.

"Did you hear that noise outside? No, I don't think it could've been that serial killer/monster/werewolf who has already massacred 27 people in this town. It's probably something else but we'd better go outside to check things out.

Do they ever look out the window first?

In regards to walking into a darkened room — why is it that the crime scene guys in procedural shows dont’t turn on the fucking light? Instead, they use their flashlights. I’ve seen that so many times.

And one more: when someone walks through their front door home from work or shopping, they’re babbling to the person who lives there as they’re unlocking the door in a cheery voice and not looking up, only to find their significant other or whomever dead when they walk in the room.

I certainly don't walk into my home running at the mouth as I unlock the door.

When someone is caught in a lie you know there's more lies to come.

When a female police officer is seen in civilian clothes it's always something ultra glamorous for a night out.

Anytime anyone is at a bar or restaurant and they leave in a hurry the just leave some crumpled up money on the table without asking for the bill or checking how much it is, then leave. It drives me crazy.

Also, hate sex. 2 people hate each other but they inexplicably want each other 2 and proceed to fuck each other silly. Listen, its a hot idea and I actually enjoy watching it, but I guarantee you, in real life hate sex is just not a thing.

Also, the strong bad ass female character either 1-is trying to follow in her dad's footsteps or 2-was raised by her single dad. Bad ass women are always about their daddys.

Good find r79.

Some wise guy grabbing an apple as he leaves, delivers one more smartass comment, winks, bites apple.

Not a movie cliche, but I don't like that weird trend that has being going on in some films since the 2000s in showing the title until the end credits.

One of the good guys gets shot, but is able to carry on fighting, move around, and engage in banter, inset of being incapacitated by shock and pain

Indicating a woman is a mom by having her wear a rumpled blouse, messy ponytail, running around with a laundry basket picking up toys while talking on the phone.

Someone is on the phone and you can hear what the other person is saying too. Unless they are on speaker phone this is highly unlikely.

Alternative is when someone does not wait long enough to hear what the speaker is saying. "You want me to meet you at the corner of Park and Main Street, and wear a red baseball cap?"

Celery leaves sticking out of the top of a shopping bag.

r42, and the person usually doesn't watch the entire report, just the main headlines... when the newsperson starts to get into the details, the person turns the television off...

R86 dont forget the baguette and the spaghetti box.

When someone needs to access the internet they get straight in, without the need for login or downloading pages.

The above post about eating Chinese food right out of the containers it comes in - I have never in my life seen anyone do this. Chinese food is always put on a plate.

The corny "getting stuff done" montages in 80s films, usually set to some Motown classic or power ballad.

Serial killers who find a victim (usually a young woman who just had sex) and instantly slash their throat, but when they come face-to-face with the movie's hero or heroine, they hesitate to instantly kill them, giving the hero or heroine enough time to hurl a heavy object at the evil serial killer, then run away.

R92 Or serial killers with superhuman powers who can instantly snap the necks of the strongest men, but somehow can't manage to neutralize the 98-pound, 5'0" tall female lead.

R90 I mean, that sounds highly subjective. Unless I'm intentionally trying not to look like a fat whore in front of company, I almost always eat it right out of the containers--just not those adorable cardboard movie cartons, but the ugly plastic ones they actually come in.

Families who sit down to a full breakfast of pancakes, eggs, toast, and orange juice every weekday morning, but who don't touch the fabulous feast before them because they're running late and have to run.

Women who come home from the gym after working out. You know it's been an intense workout because their skin is dotted with small drops of perspiration and there's a lock of hair draping down the side of their face because it escaped the ponytail they're wearing.

To be fair, R41, I have seen that happen irl on [italic]The First 48.[/italic]

First time I saw it happen, I was legit shocked--"Wait... that actually HAPPENS?"

Then again, when I was a kid I was at a church funeral, and the murdered guy's mistress suddenly projectile vomited mid-service (no, she wasn't pregnant, though the man's widow was).

Guess you can't always account for human emotions.

r90 What? I've seen that a million times

Not so much a "movie" cliche but a TV cliche; Bad Guy (but good at heart) marries Good Pure of Heart Dream Girl and immediately intends to Change His Ways. 2-3 episodes later he fails & Dream Girl ends up dead because of him or takes their Perfect Children and leaves him. Bad/Good Hearted Guy spends multiple seasons moping over this (see Sons of Anarchy, Peaky Blinders, probably others I'm forgetting)

School buses that stop right in front of a family's home.

Male and female leads with incredible bodies who very clearly spend hours in the gyn daily, yet the only forms of exercise they're ever allowed to perform on screen are short morning runs (acceptable for either gender), or the occassional basketball pickup game for the men/occassional solo night swim for the women.

Whenever there is a birth, someone exclaims some variation of ‘It’s crowning!’ Writers love this line.

R102 Lmao. Also, invariably it is always "too late" for an epidural for one reason or another so that the audience can be treated to the most painful labor possible for the woman.

The switcheroo. Someone is being chased and stops. They sneak a look behind them but don't see the pursuer. When they look back the pursuer is in front of them.

and the bathroom mirror one. Someone swipe unfogs the mirror and guess who is in the reflection? Or they look down and when they look up again they see that someone in the reflection.

Someone stating "It's Showtime" before the big action scene.

[Quote]*sits down at the bar*: "I'll have a beer."

"One alcohol, please!"

A few more: Lighting a cigarette and almost immediately putting it out (more common in older movies, but now used to show that the character has inner conflicts).

A menacing-appearing Black man who ends up being of service and having a heart of gold.

The chopsticks thing -- such a lazy character key to employ. Why do people think that everyone uses chopsticks when eating Asian food? I always use a fork. (Anyone?)

The morning routine -- when brushing their teeth they foam like rabid dogs. Are they brushing with detergent?

Brooding characters -- almost always shot over the left shoulder at a 45 degree angle. There's probably even a name for that shot.

Female characters with freshly shaven pits no matter how deep into the collapse of civilization/wilderness survival they happen to be.

Cinematic devices used for a stage show. eg Easter Parade. Fred Astaire dances "Stepping out with My Baby" in slow motion, and we see Judy Garland in normal time watching him with pleasure from the wings.

Crystal-clear computer/phone videos and video chats playing at the exact same resolution and sound quality as the movie itself (even back in the late 90s).

Screaming profanity in the final throes of childbirth. Often played for "laffs," ignored or smilingly indulged by the harried medical team.

"We've got company!"

[quote]In the 90s, it was really funny for somebody to bump their head and immediately say, “I’m ok!"

I remember there were also several movies/shows where someone would exclaim after hitting their heads on something, "That's gonna to leave a mark!'

I heard it in everyday life, too, because I was a teenager in the '90s and a lot of my peers would say that whenever they bonked their heads.

I think it started with TOMMY BOY (1995).

If you run out of ammo, hurl your weapon at the assailant to stop him in his tracks. Especially if you are on a staircase above the assailant.

*That's gonna leave a mark!

[quote]Also, the strong bad ass female character either 1-is trying to follow in her dad's footsteps or 2-was raised by her single dad. Bad ass women are always about their daddys.

Was that trope started by THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)?

Clarice was both raised by a single dad AND was also following in his footsteps joining law enforcement.

R115 Also, in a pinch, a flipped over wooden table will easily shield you from many rounds of high powered ammunition.

People moving into another room to talk about the person in another room in an open floor plan. Like the person won't hear every word.

^Or right in front of a closed door while someone waits in the hallway.

I recently saw a movie where a group of women were held captive by a bad guy. The head woman was invited to meet with him. She was rescued by the good guy but insisted on going back to get her friends. She was given a nun's habit to hide her identity. She was allowed to visit the other women but of course the bad guy instantly recognized her.

In rom-com movies: Impossibly handsome and perfect bachelor chooses the ugly, sexually bland girl over the hot one -- and yet he's not gay.

In horror movies (Lord knows these dote on stupid cliches): Someone stabs the killer once, maybe in the arm, throws down the knife and walks away sure he's dead.

In action movies, the hero is hurled several yards by a huge explosion and isn't even scratched by the flaming debris.

R121 continued - We meet again,. my dear.

Anytime a character experiences a traumatic event, we immediately cut to them in a steaming hot shower (the man will be leaning against the tile, palms flat, the woman will be rinsing her hair over and over again).

The dog reaction shot.

555

Little children who are either cloyingly. treacly sweet or snarky, world-weary 40 year old midgets.

Characters leaning against the sink and looking intently at their own eyes in the mirror with a "get your shit together" expression. That's usually all they need to get their shit together. Sometimes also a cold splash of water in desperate situations.

R91 adjacent is the woman trying on outfits for a date or job interview montage.

or just for fun like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy.

[quote]Little children who are either cloyingly. treacly sweet or snarky, world-weary 40 year old midgets.

My grandmother hated sage children in movies.

She said that children can't possibly be wise, because you need life experience to acquire wisdom.

Thus, a fiftysomething street bum will always be wiser than any child genius, who is only book smart

R34- Up until about 1982 that was the typical NYC cab driver.

{quote]Whenever there is a birth, someone exclaims some variation of ‘It’s crowning!’

And when you later see the baby after its born, it looks like it's several months old.

R95- I agree.

What really annoys me- The characters are sitting at the dinner table eating a sumptuous feast and they're so into their inane conversation and at NO point do they say- Mom this chicken parmesan is DELICIOUS!

Teenagers who talk like they're Jewish men in their thirties who live in West LA.

2 high school movies cliches I thought were dumb because it wasnt like that at all for me. 1-showering after gym. Maybe we were all a bunch of cruddy duddies but none of us showered after gym. No one, not once. For starters, those showers looked NASTY. And we would have been mortified to be naked around everyone else. Idk why they even had them, maybe they were for the school sports teams or something but regular gym students never used them.

2-"popular rich students were always the mean bullies" actually, NO. My biggest bullies were always either basic bitches that thought they'd become popular if they bullied or people as low if not lower on the popularity scale than me who punched down to feel better. The group that tormented me were a bunch of fat nerdy trekkies. Most popular kuds were popular b BECAUSE they were nice and chill to everyonw (and usually either well dressed or attractive, but generally nice)

[quote]Chinese food is always put on a plate.

Where do people come up with these ironclad pronouncements?!? People eat in their fucking CARS in real life. I assure you there are people who don't "always" put Chinese food "on a plate."

These threads are fun but there's always some queen going off the rails about something or other, like they have a universe-wide surveillance system in the Batcave in their basement..

R136 Maybe things have changed, but showers were mandatory after gym class when I was going to school.

"Maybe things have changed?"

When did you graduate, R138? What year? No one under 40 today ever took a shower after gym class.

When I was in high school in the early 90s nobody showered after gym class.

R138 perhaps. Maybe its a state thing or a district thing. It wasnt mandatory in Middlesex New Jersey in the early 90s. Thank god because again those showers looked gross.

R140 yes maybe that changed at some point. Thats when I went to.

Cutesy ukulele music in every romcom.

Every single cop in a movie, no matter where it takes place, speaking with a Brooklyn accent.

Yeah, I'm 37 and there was absolutely no such thing as showers after gym class. How much time exactly were the mandatory shower posters here actually allotted for all these luxurious grooming rituals? We were only given about 90-seconds to strip off our stinky gym clothes (that got stuffed back into our stinky lockers), get back into our street clothes and slap some on speed stick before the bell would ring for our next class.

^*slap on some

Not too long ago we had a thread on showering in gym class and the late 80s/early 90s was the point when the showers stopped. For whatever reasons, young men being naked around each other became "gay."

Anyway, back to the movie cliches.

On Showering

The hero getting hit by a car, slams into the windshield, rolls off the hood, lands perfectly on his feet, and starts shooting.

R139 I went to high school in the late '70s, and yes, we had to shower after gym class. We were given 10 minutes to shower and get back into our school clothes.

A guy gets into a major knock-down, drag-out fight with the villain, but walks away from it all with just a tiny cut on his lip.

Always finding street parking in New York City right in front of your destination.

Every Southerner has a thick, exagerrated drawl and talks like they are from GWTW. As someone who lives in the South I can tell you that the accents here are very different depending on region and state. Some of us barely have a drawl.

Neurosurgeons who look like they went to the Barbizon school instead of medical school.

Movie characters who have interesting, artsy jobs like composers or literary agents or public relations representatives. Nobody's ever a boring old accountant or data analyst.

Closing a door then slowly sliding down it and starting crying.

One more "showering" post: For me, as a high school student--back when the main danger on campus was a pterodactyl swooping down and making lunch out of us--it wasn't a matter of how much time one was formally allotted for showering and getting back into street clothes as it was simply the time left between the gym class coaches ending their/our PE doings for that period and when our class [italic]next[/italic] period would begin. In my experience the coaches were actually quite good at letting us have ample time for showering etc., likely because they'd catch hell from other (non-PE) teachers if the students didn't have enough time to make themselves decent for their math or history class afterwards.

Mildred Pierce has an accountant.

R158 Accountants are always only minor characters, though.

Showering after gym class definitely was a thing until the '80s or so.

Movies in the '90s and afterward have not depicted showering after gym class -- can't recall of any -- so it hasn't been a thing in movies in over 30 years.

I was in high school in the '90s and the showers were used by the school teams after practice or a game, but that was long after school was over for the day or on the weekends.

Single women in their 20s living in 2-story suburban houses.

Kent Smith in the dammed don't cry is an accountant.

R160 perhaps but as an 90s teen, the movies I grew up with and watched were from the 80s and below. The 90s werent big on teen movies (till the late 90s when they made a brief come back and I was already an adult by then).

R163 The Joan Crawford troll is with us today.

A TV thing as well, people always have way bigger/nicer apartments that they would be able to afford with their professions in real life.

High powered female executives who enter their offices in a commanding flourish of grandeur in what seems to be an hour after everyone else in the office hasn't gotten there.

In 1940s and 50s movies, naughty single gals were always waitresses in some greasy spoon diner, but the good girls were always secretaries working in plush downtown high rises.

I hate it when a person hits the killer only once and then runs away, when in reality, you should stand there and bash his head in completely. But I guess the movie will be over then, and there's always a need for one more scene of peril.

Besties doing the laundry together who stop to do a perfectly choreographed and synchronized dance routine when their favorite song comes on the radio.

Also a more modern cliche, the busy working girl (could be guy but for some reason its always a woman) who's late for work who's juggling a bunch of things in her hand, among them a fresh Starbucks coffee. Super stressed out and late but apparently had time to go to a Starbucks during their morning rush hour for a macchiato.

R169 That's the one thing I liked about Kyle Richards' character in Halloween Kills. She loaded up a pillowcase with bricks and pounded Michael Myers' head with it before she ran away.

You can always tell when a male character is working hard at the office, because the sleeves on his button-down shirt are always slightly rolled up and his tie is loosened.

When people are having a conflict, one character turns their back to the other, walks a few steps, and delivers their lines. The other character walks a few steps toward them, but still stands behind them and responds.

Never in my life have I had an argument or deep discussion with someone with my back turned toward them.

Characters who rattle off their plans and strategies while walking rapidly down an office hallway or stepping out of a cab.

Incidentally, actor John Barrowman, who moved from Scotland to the Midwest due to his father's job, has discussed on British TV having to take showers in high school in the '80s and how self-conscious he was about being uncut because everyone else was circumcised.

[quote] Incidentally, actor John Barrowman, who moved from Scotland to the Midwest due to his father's job, has discussed on British TV having to take showers in high school in the '80s and how self-conscious he was about being uncut because everyone else was circumcised.

Oh good Lord. This is John Barrowman we're talking about. What he really meant is, "I was so thrilled that in the showers every guy kept staring at my dick!"

Rewinding / forward winding a message left on tape, and they always hit exactly the right spot on the tape for the information they want to hear.

Bonus points for garbled sped up voices while they re/foward wind.

A long, boring shot of a car approaching and people getting out.

Old blues songs on the soundtrack to illustrate the burdens of being white, educated and upperclass.

Teen and grown females calling their father 'daddy'.

The big reveal at the end that it was all a dream or hallucination or magic spell, or that the main character(s) are ghosts who don't realize they're dead, or the person investigating the murder(s) realize they themselves are the killer.

Hospitals that have all the lights turned out and 1 nurse on duty during night scenes.

Action movies where the action hero is a 70-year-old man, or an actress who weighs like 100 pounds, and the hero easily beats up a bunch of young, strong guys who look like NFL linebackers

In thrillers or horror movies, the heroine has to investigate the ghost, monster, or serial killer while wearing a skimpy tank top or lingerie

The "we're so in love!" montage you see in romantic movies, where the hero and heroine do "cute" things together, like rowing on a lake, eating ice cream, or kissing in a meadow

The line " Can i talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?" signaling that someone’s about to drop a bombshell, start a whisper-fight, or deliver a heartfelt confession away from prying ears.

Aling the lines of the "hate sex" thing, enemies to lovers: fun to watch but completely unrealistic

The person getting strangled while on the floor and manages to find a heavy object or scissors or knife within reach to hit their attacker.

A character who is looking for someone who has been elusive, sees the person standing across the street staring at them, then disappears after a bus passes by them,

Character #1 has something urgent to discuss with Character #2.

Character #2 interrupts with his/her own news.

Character' #1 lets Character #2 go first.

Character #2 inadvertently says something that makes Character #1 reconsider saying anything.

When Character #2 is done, he/she usually asks, "Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Character #1 then says something lame like, "I... I was wondering what you wanted for dinner?"

R181 that one is so ridiculous. I've never been in a hospital that didn't have lights blazing and staff running around all fucking night.

It's never the first guy they catch or suspect. That's always a ruse.

R94 Well, they used to come in white cardboard cartons (with a thin metal handle).

A character keeps trying to tell another character a very important piece of information, but the other one is preoccupied/talks over them/won't listen, so they just drop it. Would have ended the movie if the other character had known the info.

Try jumping or getting thrown through a glass window like people do all the time in movies and TV! Just once I’d like to see someone just bang into the window with a thud and then fall to the ground

[quote]A TV thing as well, people always have way bigger/nicer apartments that they would be able to afford with their professions in real life.

I think I could count on one hand the number of NYC apartments that would be realistic to the character's socioeconomic status in the movies/tv shows I've seen. Even working class NYers in movies/tv have apartments that would be ridiculously unaffordable IRL.

Supposedly epic, heart-breaking love stories where people really don’t have to be separated but are due to selfishness about their family, cause or career. If only we could be together! (Hint: you can.)

When one person is injured and the other leaves them in the remote jungle or desert during wartime to get “help”. As if.

(Might be more abused on TV but) 2 characters, always at odds, get stuck in an elevator. One starts panicking. The other tells them to get a grip. They call for help twice, sit down, and over the course of hours gain a deep understanding of each other and resolve all issues.

In a movie devoid of any deep ideas or witty dialogue, giving the lead female a book is supposed to make viewers believe she is a genius!

Making cops, FBI agents, or CSIs constantly quote Shakespeare and John Donne to show how smart they are.

Even the English professors I've known don't go around quoting John Donne at the drop of a hat.

"New York City" is obviously Toronto or Vancouver.

Don't they film a lot in NYC? Why do some productions go elsewhere?

Putting a beautiful head of romaine lettuce away in the refrigerators as is - not wrapped in plastic or washed and in paper towels. Just on the shelf left to wilt. ….. Don’t get me started on the open glass pitcher of milk or juice.

"Professional" women gathered around a kitchen island drinking wine out of glasses larger than a fishbowl.

I totally despise romance films (drama or comedy) where they glorify men or women who fall in love with their best friend or a relatives' partner.

Stressed confused down on their luck middle aged white women who escape their unhappy city lives and wind up in some flyover hick town. They walk into a diner ( bell on top of the door) and become the new rock star savior waitress at this podunk diner - complete with a sassy pink uniform and white apron. Suddenly their sad life becomes a happy Frank Capra movie. I am looking at you Alice, Vicki Lord Buchanan and Valene Ewing.

If you're the good guy, the bad guys can fire about 200 shots at you and won't hit you once

Constantly using the names of characters (or places or things) in dialog. Movies and TV shows both do this. It's to familiarize the audience, but it's totally unrealistic.

On that same note, I hate it when children act more like a peer to their parents, including using their first names in dialog. Instead of "I talked to your mom," it's "I talked to (character name)." That is not how people naturally speak.

When the masked killer is finally knocked down, the victim never tears off the mask to see who the hell it is.

This may also apply to tv shows- The husband gets home from work and his wife had put out a lovely dinner for him. He says- Honey I'm too tired to eat I'm going right up to bed. If one has had a long day then you're starving. It sounds fake and I hate it.

A cute, arrogant male in need of a comeuppance gets pushed backwards into a swimming pool. This always gets some clapping, hooting, and wiggling from big basic gals in the audience

R205 I’ve also seen plenty of shows/films that don’t do that and I never know who anyone’s name is.

r139 No one in my 2000s high school took a shower either unless we had swim class. Then we sort of had to.

r145 My school in the mid 2000s-- I am your age had gym be a double period. So almost an hour. We would end class early so we had time to change. That said no one use the showers unless we had swim class. Then we would end class very early so people had time to shower.

Rotate your handgun 90 degrees to the left for even greater accuracy when firing.

Two submachine guns, one in each hand, is more effective than shooting just one with your dominant hand.

Shooting guns while wearing dark glasses indoors enhances your accuracy.

Characters have to cut their vacation short and get to work because "our biggest client needs this report FIRST thing in them morning."

Someone should make a movie of all tropes.

When someone lives in a big house with a bunch of kids and it's spotless, with no clutter anywhere.

When running late, the character spills their coffee while drinking it on the street and (if female), gets their heel caught and their leg goes all wobbly.

Subway trains are always JUST arriving as they reach the platform. Some of the bad guys always manage to jump on while those in pursuit bang on the subway doors as the train exits the station.

The killer gets killed...but it turns out he's not actually dead! Then he gets killed for good

The old 1950s sci-fi films’ female scientist companions of the male leads, women all with those buliet bra figures who all end up getting chased by the featured monster, shriek, trip to the ground of course, and then get captured and need to be rescued because all their brains got them nowhere. What can we say, they were of their era. 👹

Siblings all call one another “little sister” or “big brother” so we will understand their relationship.

Whenever someone or some people are caught in the middle of their scheme, you hear a slow cocking of the gun and they turn around quickly, then the person with the gun says "Well, well, well - what do we have here?"

Good or bad guys, interchangeable. But they have to throw in that sarcastic line - they're just bitchy like that.

Rom com edition: straight laced (possibly reformed free spirit) professional woman is engaged to succesfull normie type of guy but she somehow ends up falling for his clownish/sloppy/stoner/scoundrel/ne'er do well loser brother/roomate/bff. She has a scene with said brother/roomate/bff where she either gets drunk or stoned and "loosens up" by literally letting her hair down, the implication that with brother/roomate/scoundrel she can "be herself".

^ The opposite of that is uptight straight guys falling for a manic pixie dream girl

Men are always forgetting their anniversary, then by some kismet, the universe saves the day when they stumble upon some unexpected gift or celebration later that night.

"Well, I didn't want to ruin the surprise!" as she hugs him and he looks over her shoulder and winks at his friend/assistant/whoever.

r241 That is what all of the wayan brother movie spoofs are.

r214 meant above for you. Also add the austin powers movies. And not another teen movie spoofs.

In the suspect's home,

CHR #1: Boss, you gotta see this. (Doesn't tell him over the phone/cell his cell, in a yell, through an intercom)

CHR #2 leaves the basement, walks up two sets of stairs, and climbs to the attic to be shown a wall covered with pictures of a (wife, partner, dog, child, group of children, etc.) Obviously, a wall of evil madness.

CHR #2: Where's (subject of wall pictures)

CHR #1: (Interviewing, surveilling, visiting, etc.) the suspect in (an obviously dangerous location).

Both Characters run to the car to get to the (subject of wall pictures).

No one thinks of using their (cell phone, landline, payphone, smoke signal, third party) to warn (subject of wall pictures). Despite previously establishing the scene of its availability.

Cutting straight from two people smiling vaguely at each other at a bar or restaurant straight to wild, screaming sex in a car or somewhere else “unconventional”.

Cleaning people or a floor waxer in the background to indicate the character is working REALLY late.

[quote] Hospitals that have all the lights turned out and 1 nurse on duty during night scenes.

We had three and a candy striper for two patients so you can fuck right off.

[quote] The psycho's secret lair wallpapered with decades of news clippings perfectly explaining their motivations and the full timeline of their obsession.

Don't forget the 100 lit candles. The expense and time to light would make anyone want to kill.

Characters (usually women) who are crying and just let the tears pour down their cheeks. No tissues or hankies or wiping them away with their hands.

“Actors don’t wipe their tears. People do.”

Everyone's eyeglasses are spotless, all the time.

Unless they have an accident, then one lens will crack, but they'll still wear them.

We always showered after gym class in the 70s where I was from, and the showers didn't look gross. Maybe because there were bigger budgets for schools, then? The school and the gym were pretty clean. I think it's funny when you read someone saying "we would have been mortified to get naked around each other then." We had to get naked to change into our gym uniforms, which was done in a locker room. Then we had to change out of our uniforms to take a shower, then we had to dry off and change into our clothes. It began when we were around 13, in junior high. Why are younger generations so mortified about being naked, around your own gender?

When the Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA) only had male members, boys/men swam nude in the pool.

That stopped sometime in the 1970s, when girls/women were allowed.

[quote]I'll start. I hate it when characters die and are brought back to life by some form of magic.

Fuck you, OP. It's all part of the show.

Does everything have to be Chekov's gun?

Can't we just have random shit laying around making it a more interesting place

"Chick flick" characters in small groups taking up the whole width of Fifth Avenue or Rodeo Drive, with 3 huge luxury brand shopping bags hanging from the crook of each arm. "Power girl" standard blasts on the soundtrack as they strut in step (often in slow motion).

I hate when they bring characters back to life.

If it's a gay film, there will be a scene of the lead character(s) swimming, so they can show the maximum amount of flesh without a sex scene.

Sassy:

1. gay males

2. Black woman (but she's also extremely wise)

3. Grandmas

R233 I dont let anyone except my doctor and my s.o see me naked. Hell I didn't allow my siblings to see me naked or my own mother. If it happened it happened but I wasnt about to do it freely. Why would I be cool with a bunch of yahoos most of whom I hated seeing all my goodies. Granted I'm a woman, idk if guys are less protective/prudish.

R234 I don't know why they incorporated females into the YMCA. They already had the YWCA. It's not like they got rid of it afterward.

I can't remember the shower status at my high school. I know we had them. But since I was always ducking PE with some transparent excuse I never had to use them.

I do remember using the local public pool changerooms with showers for swimming elective, that was compulsory. We left our clothes and bags in the locker room and some bastard stole the new school ties of mine and my best friend. That year they had introduced new style ties so we had to wear the old school ones from then on as they had no new ones left.

JFC, this is not a thread about showering.

(Related to R39)

A sudden death precipitates a sudden funeral wherein the family of our attentions, who are just barely scraping by financial, all --down to the youngest children-- appear in respectable and perfectly fitting black mourning clothes which are evidently kept at the ready for such occasions.

Fat, sad white chic + large wooden spoon + 2 pints of Häagan-Dazs+ Motown classic = Turn the drown upside down

"Chic?"

Chick, R247, but maybe you knew

The supportive gay friend who gives advice to lovelorn single women

If we're bringing in gay stereotypes we could be here forever.

Carrot greens trickling down the grocery bag like ivy on a Harvard building.

If the main character in a romcom is a college professor, what's she teaching will directly pertain to her fucked-up love life.

"Dowdy" female characters are usually just beautiful actresses with their hair pulled into a bun

When someone throws a lamp at a person’s head, who ducks, and the lamp shatters against the wall. If that person had slower reflexes they would have been killed.

Coming of age stories always having the (now) adult person narrating it. And it always end with some corny lines like " I'll never forget that summer, the lessons I learned, the friends that got lost along the way, and how much richer my life became because of them. Even though I'm a grown up now, I still find myself asking the same questions as when I was a 12 year old kid " cue sweet poignant music and an overhead shot of the small town the kid grew up in.

Along the lines of what r254 said, glass bottles smashed over people's heads. That's enough to kill someone. We don't see it as much anymore but it was commonplace in "the western saloon brawl"

Teachers who:

- refer to the students collectively as “class”

- walk slowly up and down the aisles as they lecture

- remind everybody that their term papers are due tomorrow once the bell rings

Two characters having an "intimate" conversation gazing at their reflections in the mirror. No one does this ever.

[quote] Two characters having an "intimate" conversation gazing at their reflections in the mirror. No one does this ever.

We do!

That was the way things were in the 1970s for me r257. They didn't march around the classroom every day but it happened during quizzes and exams. Also is behavior was off. This was usually when notes were being passed around and/or there was unexplained giggling.

You're right about the "class" part in my case though.

Term paper reminders were daily and loud.

Lead character, male or female playing a cop or detective, gets the shit beaten out of them by the bad guys (usually when going against orders and acting alone). After a couple of days of recovery, they return to the station with a single small bandage on the forehead.

The screaming female heard when a bar brawl breaks out. Women are usually seen fleeing the room so I really don't understand why they scream when they seem to be in no immediate danger. I CAN understand when it's a police raid in a prohibition era piece cos they will be arrested.

Lighting. Sound. Performers. Dialogue. Plot. Enough!

Guys who are home alone sitting on the couch and watching TV never scratch their balls or ass.

The final act of a horror movie after the killer reveals him or herself to the main character in some snarky or dramatic fashion, they then take ten minutes of dialog to explain their motive, but this curtesy is only given to the main character. Everyone else is brutally slaughtered without explanation until our heroine is the last one left.

Also, the killer's motive is always revenge for some long ago hurt that the heroine doesn't even remember anymore because the killer waited an entire decade to plan for this moment. After a struggle over the gun, which always lands in the hands of the heroine, she then proceeds to shoot the killer to death. Then she hears the faint sounds of sirens approaching because the cops always show up after the killer is dead. Fade to black as the catchy lead single from the soundtrack plays over the credits.

Hanging up without saying as much as "bye" or "well, see you later at XYZ".

Stalking out of the room in the middle of a heated argument. That would be so fucking rude in real life.

Responding to a question with a mysterious smile or by simply changing the subject. Again, so rude in real life. Anyone with half a brain would snap and say, "Bitch, I asked you a question".

[quote] Responding to a question with a mysterious smile or by simply changing the subject. Again, so rude in real life. Anyone with half a brain would snap and say, "Bitch, I asked you a question".

That's extremely childish.

Part of becoming a grown-up is realizing that just because people ask you questions does not mean they are entitled to answers, unless you are in a business situation and it has to do with work, or unless you're under a subpoena.

We were all having fun, R267

And then you came along.

Women characters who sit there and scream and do nothing but wait for a man to save them.

When my late old mother saw ALIENS for the first time she cheered. Finally a strong woman, like Mom, takes over.

Characters in a public setting having a loud discussion about something intimate (including swearing and using vulgar terms) and nobody around them reacts.

For example:

Someone calls for an ambulance and says, And Hurry!

A woman refuses to meet a person of interest. The answer is no! And that's final. Then cut to her meeting the person she had previously refused to meet.

The ever present puking scene.

"You're hurting me" uttered by a woman whenever a man handles her.

A woman character.

The girl riding the boy in her bra.

My teachers told us about the term papers but on movies or TV, it’s always right as the bell rings and students are rushing to leave.

Wandering up and down the rows during a test is different than the lecture. My teachers all stayed right at the blackboard while teaching, no matter the school, no matter the subject.

You reminded me, R273, of whenever people puke in films, they’re actually just coughing into a toilet rather than retching.

Menacing attorneys getting in the witness' face with no one objecting.

Attorneys yelling "Objection!" without explaining why.

"I'll allow it"

R278 And it's always just one load which of course they've been holding in their mouth until they're told to run to the toilet.

We could fill an entire thread with courtroom drama cliches.

The refusal scene. Character 1 asks Character 2 for something and the answer is never yes. It's always NO until something happens that makes Character 2 change their mind.

The bad guy who talks for ten minutes about his motivations, thereby a) clueing the audience in to the plot, b) giving the good guy time to grab a gun, or have his #2 (previously thought dead) to sneak up behind the bad guy and hit him on the head.

Anytime someone comes home from the grocery store, there is either a bunch of celery or a baguette sticking out of the top of the bag.

Has anyone mentioned the celery sticking out of the grocery bag again? It's been almost 2 hours.

[quote]Characters who rattle off their plans and strategies while walking rapidly down an office hallway

I shot a scene on a procedural like this, the classic "walk & talk" and it was not so easy. We had to finish talking by a certain point to make the "this way is shorter" line work, and we had to walk and talk a lot faster than our mastery of the lines allowed. Ok, it was mostly me stumbling over my lines!

[quote]Attorneys yelling "Objection!" without explaining why.

In real life this happens. I was doing jury duty and the cunty judge told counsel to simply object as "I'll KNOW why you're objecting and if I don't, I'll ask", which of course he never did.

r278, I assume that's to prevent a chain reaction of vomiting in theaters.

Someone vomits in every movie these days.

I have another one: the action hero is down and the villain who's holding a gun and could easily just blow him away starts on a long recitation about how he's going to kill the hero slowly and painfully. This happens in just about every action movie of course giving the hero an opportunity to turn the tables and kill the bastard.

Similar to the talking killer scenario, sometimes the hero was tied up, and the villain describes a torturous death, but then leaves the room before the hero was killed, allowing him to miraculously escape.

R241 It might depend on what you had to do in gym class. This was the '70s, we had to do sprints, climb ropes, do gymnastics, and play sports during gym class. Why would you want to work up a sweat during a class like that, then just put on your clothes and go to math class?

R291 you fucking dotard —ENOUGH about your inane shower obsession. Create your own thread and yap away at your heart’s content.

Two characters meet in midtown Manhattan. One says 'I need to speak to you!' or 'I need to ask you something'...not here.

Next we see them at some park in Brooklyn with a view of the Manhattan skyline or maybe empty Coney Island on a cold day. The conversation picks up where they left off. Like they made all that trek in silence?

Or someone gets a phone call 'Meet me in Central Park!' and next we see them in Central Park... it's so easy to find someone in Central Park.

No one ever says "Bye" or "See you there" or signs off in any way, they just hang up.

I recall this was all but absolutely standard on TV sitcoms but the economically terminated phone call is very common in films as well.

What this patient needs is rest.

Visiting hours are over.

This hospital food will kill you.

The vending machine is broken.

R292 I didn't bring it up, and I did two whole posts on the subject.

Adding to R295:

Dour, difficult nurses with no bedside manner or empathy.

Stately, staid doctors speaking caring words in soothing tones.

Frantic family w/ at least one completely hysterical female screaming "DO SOMETHING!"

Dramatic, shadowy lighting in a hospital room/OR.

Nuns in 2025 wearing habits. At some point they will be in a biker bar or nightclub and one of them will seem to enjoy it too much.

Also, hospital hallways are busier than Time Square.

There is nothing easier than entering a hospital, locating staff outfits in your size and gliding around unchallenged till you find the person you are there to kill (if you are a bad guy), or files you need to access ( if you are a good guy). Then you change your clothes again in a few seconds and saunter out.

You can run but you can't hide!

I swear I heard this in a TV show car chase yesterday.

And then the pursuer's car broke down.

After someone collapses -

Is there a doctor in the house? Or, is anyone a doctor?

Why, yes. I am. What is the problem here?

If a character is an alcoholic, they will always have a bottle of booze in one hand and a glass in the other.

Surprised it hasnt been mentioned before but the very unsubtle foreshadowing before someone unexpectedly dies or gets killed. Like a father telling his child "I'll always be there for you" and his wife smiling dreamily and telling him "I love you, you know that? You make me so happy!" while the guy is getting in his car to buy ice cream for his kid, 3 minutes away from becoming a splattered mess on highway 5.

Or the veteran cop one day away from retirement.

"I'm getting too old for this shit."

And to add to R304 and R305, you always you have the weary looking cop knocking on the door and the wife looking confused and worried asking "Is there a problem, officer?"

The young, naive soldier in every war movie who talks lovingly of his sweetheart back home, then dies at the end

Hey, R105!

Haha, R154!

The neurosurgeon who literally saved me from quadriplegia is 6'4", and looked like a runway model. But no attitude, just a seriously talented, gorgeous, heckuva nice man.

Maybe he oughta be in pictures!

A plot like in Top Hat (1935) where the lead female character mistakes the guy who's in love with her for her married friend's husband. A lot of early musicals had dumb plots like this. Something that should have neen straightened out in five minutes just keeps getting more and more complicated.

When the male lead gets out of bed in the morning and his hair doesn't look like a cockatiel.

In old movies, female characters used to go to bed in full makeup, including red lipstick

A man in the shower hears the phone ring, but still takes the time to wrap a towel around his waist before answering, despite living alone.

I like it when they put on a robe over the soaking wet body.

[quote]When the male lead gets out of bed in the morning and his hair doesn't look like a cockatiel.

And a damn shame it is when they let the stylists at the hair.

Fresh from the bed cockatiel hair on the right man, is "let's live together" stuff. Combine it with morning adjustments to dick and balls and...

When a group of bad guys comes to take down the movie's hero, but each bad guy takes his turn fighting the hero instead of all of them ganging up on him at once.

Flashing fluorescent lighting in nighttime hospital scenes.

That's a good one, r314. People who live alone or who are alone in the house never walk around buck naked after getting out of the shower. They wrap a towel around themselves to walk the ten steps from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed.

Or they wrap a whole sheet around themselves after getting out of bed (who does that?)

The guy who gets out of bed in his underwear after a night of hot sex.

That goes for the chicks in their bras too R321.

Right, as I mentioned above, R322.

Saw this one again last night but the person who lights up a cig, takes two puffs, then stubs it out. You know how much cigs are now? No way that won't get smoked.

[quote] "Power girl" standard blasts on the soundtrack as they strut in step (often in slow motion).

Always this one..

"cringe" humor

Street thugs and gang members who hold a gun horizontally when pointing it at someone.

r324 It's not just about the cost of cigarettes. An addicted smoker is not going to put out a cigarette after just one or two puffs, in the same way an alcoholic is not going to take two sips of a drink and not finish it.

Exceptions to R314 tend to include a gratuitous ass shot, but will always cut away or the camera pan up in time if he turns around.

Someone being chased in an alley comes across some empty cardboard boxes and pushes them behind them as an obstacle to the pursuer. That never stops the pursuer.

Adding to the list of unrealistic movie sex cliches, guys inexplicably hotboxing it under a sheet while they go down on a woman. When they're finished they pop their heads out from under it like a prairie dog.

And when the woman is on top, they both have the sheet and blanket bunched up around their waists.

People must be REALLY cold while fucking in movies.

Women in bubble baths where the bubbles are conveniently chest height.

Allegedly the reason bubble baths were popularised by movies in the first place. And it persists.

R327 Not as common as it used to be, I think, but that reminds me of the car chase where a fruit stand gets plowed into.

Family Guy even lampooned it by showing a bunch of fruit stand vendors listening to police calls and hightailing it to the scene of any chase.

R324 as an ex smoker that shit would drive me crazy. I cherished every cigarette.

When a doctor comes out of surgery and tells those waiting He did really well as if the patient participated in the operation.

French toast doesn't keep, R95.

Any disaster/creature feature movie will have a kid with asthma or some other ailment forcing a parent into peril to get the always conveniently missing inhaler/meds because the brat always has an episode at the worst fucking time. Extra points if the kid sports the infamous Hollywood bowl cut.

Characters walking through the woods looking for someone who is missing and calling their name every three seconds, like the missing person is just waiting to answer them. “Yeah, I’m right here, dummies.”

That's similar to someone investigating a noise in their house and asking Is there anybody there?

R337 Good one! The minute there’s a closeup of the inhaler or EpiPen early on, it telegraphs what’s going to happen immediately.

Jump scares that build up for minutes, with plenty of nervous close-ups, creaking floorboards and twigs snapping , before the lead’s annoying younger sibling pops out and says “Boo!”

R339 As if they're going to say, "Yes! I'm here in the bedroom closet! Come on over here so I can stab you to death!"

Italian mamas who cook lots of pasta and talk-a like-a this

Happy endings.

Nobody ever pays for their taxi ride. They just hop out and go on their way!

People walk backwards in movies way more than they do in real life.

Gay bars pre-Stonewall were illegal yet somehow huge, elaborately lit and decorated and had an orchestra and entertainment and usually featured a brave non gender-conforming person of color.

The child in horror movies who looks right into the camera and speaks in a hushed monotone.

Not a cliché mut the institution of the center point gratituous sex scene that adds nothing but makes the movie awkward to watch with family. (Bonus points for awkward extra- meaningful dialogue during it like in Oppenheimer: "I am become death ..." Yes I know the famous clip and even tried ti read all of the Bhagavad-Gita, and it doesn't make the scene any more meaningful but only weapon grade cringe.) There are great counter-examples but they're few and far between.

Cutaways to the audience or an observer when someone is performing on stage. Worse is when there is dialogue in the cutaway so the performer is just background.

Speaking of paying cabbies--the character being in a terrible rush to get out of the cab because they're running late but never paying while still in the car. Instead, they hop out, lean in through the passenger window, and chuck a handful of crumpled up bills at the driver before dashing off. I've never once in my life seen somebody pay for a taxi like that.

It's in the same vein as characters jumping up from a restaurant table in a huff and tossing a handful of random bills at it without any idea of what the actual bill costs.

[Quote]Male and female leads with incredible bodies who very clearly spend hours in the gyn daily, yet the only forms of exercise they're ever allowed to perform on screen are short morning runs (acceptable for either gender), or the occassional basketball pickup game for the men/occassional solo night swim for the women.

And very often, those women having their solo night swim do so in what appears to be a darkened olympic-sized indoor lap pool at like 11 at night for which they've inexplicably been granted exclusive access to.

The obvious stunt double. Sometimes this can be funny because it is so obvious. But then again a star having a double gives someone else a job so it's not all bad.

I like it when its played for laughs though, like in The Naked Gun orcRose's dancing in The Golden Girls

Sorry this should work

I always got a laugh seeing William Shatner's fight double in Star Trek.

Ah yes.

Someone yells STOP to a runner but they never do.

People carrying wrapped Christmas presents at airports. Who the fuck makes one Christmas present their carry on or personal item? Was it too good to be packed in a suitcase with the other gifts or be shipped?

The montage of the dearly departed wife/gf/mother/daughter frolicking in knitwear.

[quote]And very often, those women having their solo night swim do so in what appears to be a darkened olympic-sized indoor lap pool at like 11 at night for which they've inexplicably been granted exclusive access to.

And with that in mind, major surgery being performed in a darkened room by a single person with a lamp spotlighting incision.

Never mind that that teeny tiny light would throw weird shadows everywhere and a real operating room is lit like a football stadium with multiple sources of unflattering fluorescent light to avoid said weird shadows.

Entering a hotel room or house front door and not closing it behind you.

R361 not to mention the operation is taking place without no anaesthetist, nurses nor medical techs.

Just Dr Omar Epps on House, flying solo late into the night.

R362 Everytime I see that in movies and TV shows I hear my father's voice in my head shouting, "What, are we air conditioning the whole goddamn block now!?"

Gunshot hits victim. Is he dead? Cop hovers over victim, putting two fingers on neck. Looks up at cop partner and silently and dramatically shakes head "no." For once I just want them to say "this motherfucker is dead...D-E-A-D!!!"

I've been on a horror movie kick lately, watching one right now, and every one of them has zero lighting. An entire family is living in a dark house with a single lamp for illumination in each room with no tvs on. Teacher mom is grading papers in a dark room with no light. Kids are in their dark rooms. IRL a family home would be lit up and a tv going in a den.

For once, I'd like a realistic household with lights on and kids making a ton of noise. The only one that got it right was Poltergeist, if i recall correctly.

I just saw a Murder, She Wrote where Jessica visited a reclusive movie star played by Jean Peters. Jessica says Thank you for letting me visit. I know how you value your privacy. Then she does not close the front door behind her as she enters the apartment. In the background I saw the door slowly close as if done by an off-camera stagehand.

When someone asks a sleeping person if they are asleep. They say it so loud that it would wake a normal person up if they had been asleep.

Their phone has no coverage or is out of battery. I KNOW this is essential to modern stories as the script wouldn't work otherwise. Also, when a shootout happens in traffic, why don't they shoot THE TIRES????

r368 my brother and I would do that to each other, on purpose, as kids. Just for shits and gigles.

Retrieving a single glass of juice from the fridge. Done on The Jeffersons.

Or guy removes milk or juice from the fridge and drinks straight from the bottle. His boy-mom doesn’t care.

Speaking of fridges, the ever present empty refrigerator other than some beer and an old Chinese food box indicating that the character is a loner with no time to shop for food or cook.

In the 80s/90s there was always an aquarium that could be a) neglected, b) knocked over, or c) shot at and shattered, with shards of glass and water spraying everywhere. You knew as soon as you saw it, some poor fish were gonna die.

R373, meet R10.

[quote]In the 80s/90s there was always an aquarium that could be a) neglected, b) knocked over, or c) shot at and shattered, with shards of glass and water spraying everywhere.

It was also the "Hide in plain sight" go-to.

The widower remembering his dead wife smiling, brightly lit under white bedsheets tickling him, with a gauzy lens filter.

The advancing villain walking straight into the camera.

When an actor is supposed to fall of a cliff, tall building, etc. and it's clearly a dummy

People holding obviously empty plastic coffee cups, especially in trays.

380 Also, obviously empty luggage.

And empty boxes in a warehouse

When there is a love triangle and then one of the love interests does something unforgivable that makes the choice clear... like near the end of Titanic when Cal slaps Rose and any sympathy that may have remained for that character disappears... Rose is now a victim and Jack is the hero, rather than a more realistic portrayal where the main character has to choose and it's not so black and white. Often this villain character will do an assault or be caught cheating right when the writer needs to wrap things up and get the two lovers together.

Someone gets dumped outside a hospital emergency and staff come rushing out to help.

The protagonist walks onto the road and is startled by the sound of a car horn.

The mysterious figure that appears in the upstairs window of the creepy house while the apprehensive house guests pull up in the driveway. Curtain slowly moves to the side to reveal the silhouette of an old lady.

It always bothers me when people in movies leave outside house doors open, or ajar, when they enter/exit in WINTER. This is unbelievably common in movies from the classics to the present. Another thing is, they stand in the open doorway looking at something, for a long time, as they let all that cold air into the house, or let the heat out.

Another thing they do in winter is dress inappropriately. There will be snow on the ground and they go out in whatever they were wearing in the house, and talk to someone in the yard, or on the porch. Or even go for a walk. And never seem to feel cold.

Sometimes they'll throw a flimsy cardigan over their shoulders.

[quote] People who live alone or who are alone in the house never walk around buck naked after getting out of the shower. They wrap a towel around themselves to walk the ten steps from the bathroom to the bedroom to get dressed.

Depends if they're dry or not. If still wet, or damp, you do tend to wrap yourself in a towel. At least I do. Never thought about why I do it, but I do it.

If the movie place in south pre civil-rights era, it has to be made clear that the main (white) character and their friends are NOT racists.

The weird shot from inside the refrigerator or the cabinet.

Fun thread but now I'm gonna be (more) annoyed whenever I see these.

The loaded handgun in the drawer.

Blind people who feel other people's faces.

Hello r394, is it me you're looking for?

The TV broadcast room where people are talking all at once.

Indicating a motel is a dump by showing the neon sign flickering. With a “color TV” sign below that.

"You won't make me cry" stated and then the person leaves the room and cries.

R253- Like Lynda Carter as Diana Prince ?

A multitude of doctors and nurses surrounding the stretcher on which the patient is wheeled in, all of them yelling diagnoses and orders for medication as soon as the patient arrives.

Microphones with the magical ability to detect an awkward or nervous speaker and respond with screeching feedback.

A high school where every student looks like a model.

Couples having loud, public fights in upscale, crowded restaurants, ending with one of them storming out and knocking trays/servers over in the process.

The "smart" person is explaining something and someone inevitably says, "English, please!".

You know they're a math genius because they're using a glass wall to work their formula out on instead of paper.

People in horror movies assuming that their friends are pranking them when terrifying, bizarre things happen. What kinds of sick fuck friends do people have for this to be their first instinct?

"You should have killed me when you had the chance."

"I'm getting too old for this shit."

The soda machine at the police station that needs to be kicked to get a can out.

R409 food getting caught in vending machines period, especially when a character is desperately hungry.

It looks like it's all over for he hero as he has been captured by the villain but before killing the hero, the villain must explain all the details of his plan, giving the hero time to argue and manage an escape. Bonus points if the villain also chooses some roundabout convoluted method to kill the hero... then leaves instead of watching him die.

R409, and the person who has a crumpled single or doesn't have any change. There's always a handsome stranger or beautiful woman to provided the necessary currency. I don't thing I've ever done that for someone or had someone do it for me.

R412 I've witnessed it when it's the other way around -- people offering assistance to handsome men or beautiful women.

[quote]Also, obviously empty luggage.

Like this scene from "The Sound of Music" (1965) where Julie Andrews travels mostly by foot from the nunnery to the Von Trapp villa, carrying a guitar case in one hand and a carpet bag in the other, all while singing and prancing about.

Expecting us to believe a 24-year-old model is a world renowned scientist because she's wearing glasses and has her hair in a bun

R414 horrible scene

That's a good example of doing actions that would impact your singing ability.

A man towels himself dry but always seems to keep the towel in front of his crotch.

A character eats an apple by slicing it with a pen knife. Never saw that in real life ever.

Someone knocked unconscious very easily with one hit

The chloroform soaked rag that knocks someone out in mere seconds.

In a horror movie, a character walks in the dark, hears steps behind them and turns around. There's no one there so to continue walking, they turn around again and someone's standing inches away from them. Soundtrack screeches. It's only a friend. "You scared me to death!"

The typing "...." from someone beloved on the hopeful protagonist's text message screen, only to disappear, leaving them crestfallen.

[quote]A character eats an apple by slicing it with a pen knife. Never saw that in real life ever.

I do it all the time.

Well, we've never seen you do that

R422, and the people being chased, who run in a straight line, always checking to see if the person chasing them is behind them! Of course, they are! If two people are chasing the one person, one will go another route to head the runner off, but the other one is still right behind them.

A thrown dagger that lands in someone. The chances it would penetrate flesh in real life are minimal. It would normally just bounce off.

I hate that they always have all those names at the end of the movie.

IT’S BEEN DONE, PEOPLE

People never say goodbye or otherwise sign off when they're on the phone. They just end the call silently.

All middle-class people decorate their houses with beautiful and expensive fresh flower arrangements.

Or instead of saying hello they say yes?

Middle-class people live in houses that only the wealthy can afford, with kitchens the size of helicopter hangars.

[quote]Well, we've never seen you do that

Fair enough. Many people do slice apples before eating them, though.

[quote]Or instead of saying hello they say yes?

I also do this - sometimes I answer with my name. Maybe I have a future in film.

The coffee at hospital waiting room is always bad.

The bad cook, so eager to have someone try their dish. The victim takes a few bites, makes a face, pretends it’s good, and/or spits it out into a napkin when the bad cook leaves the room. Like they won’t notice a lumpy napkin when they clean up.

Also, the bra or panty found between the couch cushions indicating an affair, which usually turns out to be a big misunderstanding.

The trailing toilet tissue stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe as they exit the public bathroom.

“He wasn’t the marrying kind…”

[quote]Middle-class people live in houses that only the wealthy can afford, with kitchens the size of helicopter hangars.

I know plenty of middle class people who live like that.

I think you mean working class.

Yes my grandma was working class but had a huge kitchen in her apartment, easily the biggest room in the place.

Everyone in the police station stops working to applaud an officer for some deed.

Even women who are flat broke have expensive-looking blowouts and perfect dye jobs

It's remarkable how much vampires are into fucking their food.

Showing a dad is loving and affectionate by making him slightly chubby with a beard, and having him feed the baby while making coochie-coo sounds.

The opposite is showing dad dressed in a suit, seated behind an elaborate desk, and not looking up as his child enters.

The police come with a search warrant for a home and they throw items on the floor once they have determined they are not useful to the investigation.

Or the police come to arrest a suspect and he conveniently has a box or scrapbook full of creepy newspaper clippings about the murders in question

R444 that reminds me, people who continue cleaning/working as they're being questioned by police at home/work instead of being sat down or led to a private room to talk.

Or a wall in the attic r445

I can’t stand disaster movies that leave no impact on people. 2012 was one horrible movie that had characters watch their entire country get destroyed, not an ounce of concern from anyone.

Did everyone really havre no friends, parents, or distant family they gave marginal care for? Considering the collective trauma 9-11 caused, it’s crazy to see your city sink into the ocean and you crack jokes and hit on your ex-wife.

It doesn't happen in modern movies so much but in old flicks a person gets shot in the stomach or the back once and they fall down DEAD. Others gather 'round and without touching or checking for signs of life they shake their heads, DEAD.

r438 no, houses that only millionaires could afford are occupied by solidly middle-class people.

What’s worse are clearly wealthy characters conveniently forgetting they’re are wealthy.

Sex and The City 2 had that scene where they were getting kicked out of a hotel. If they stayed one more night, it would cost the 4 women $22,000. Now, these women were casually wearing tens of thousand in clothes each, most scenes.

$5,500 each, isn’t nothing but they acted like couldn’t afford. Running around in a panic as if the French Revolution mob was coming. It was ridiculous.

Makeovers always ending with the girl straightening their hair.

The girl finds a pin in her hair that effortlessly opens any lock.

American movies where something terrible happens to the WHOLE WORLD, from Maine to California, Seattle to Miami... the WHOLE WORLD!

Mexicans who speak perfectly fluent English but when asked a question respond with "Si, señor" or "No, señorita".

Every member of the protagonist’s friend group being a different race.

MORE! MORE! MORE!

The boyfriend sneaking into his girlfriend’s bedroom with a ladder.

Character 1 looks exactly the same way the actor has always looked, but the writers need the audience to know he's struggling.

Character 2: "You look like shit."

A more recent one I’ve noticed is overwriting.

A character gets a WTF look and says “Well, that was awkward!” The facial expression alone would’ve been enough to convey the sentiment.

The American “Ghosts” is really guilty of this.

When people have a house in Los Angeles, it’s either in the hills or a beachfront house, even if they’re lower middle class.

R458 I raise you: The somewhat hunky teenage boy throwing little pebbles against his girlfriend's window somewhere in the suburbs.

He will then climb onto the roof of the veranda, and they will chat through the opened window. But quickly, before "dad sees you".

She really cannot sneak out, as she has exams tomorrow. But he will convince her with his boyish charms.

R458/R462 that has happened, believe it or not. It isn't just a movie thing.

R460 is in the nose. American movie and TV scriptwriters and producers are hugely prone to overwriting and overemphasizing things. They are almost never prepared to leave it to the viewer.

R463 It's still a movie cliche, though.

I was watching a scene from The Summer I Turned Pretty yesterday. I don't know if I can explain this cliche, but it has to do with line delivery. Sort of, two characters throwing away their lines, but in an extreme, contrived way. Almost mumbling, in soft voices, "I thought you..." "Nah, I was just...never mind." "It doesn't really..." "No, I get it...I just..." "What?" "Nothing."

Maybe things need to be said more plainly nowadays because of short attention spans and channel surfing. Perhaps many viewers don't or can't grasp subtle anymore.

Yanking the phone cord out of the wall. So dramatic!

Same as smashing the phone out of frustration.

Unlocked doors.

Cars that have been left with the ignition key in.

I think they give non-affluent characters unrealistically enormous living spaces partly because filmmakers are in the wish fulfillment business and partly because a realistically sized home would feel claustrophobic. It's still annoying though.

[quote]R23 The psycho's secret lair wallpapered with decades of news clippings perfectly explaining their motivations and the full timeline of their obsession.

This could contain cliched camerawork, too.

Like, the screen is pitch black. The creak of a door opening, footfalls.

Then that jangly chain-being-pulled sound as a dangling lightbulb illuminates half a face. Then the camera swings in a slow arc from the killer’s chiaroscuroed face, across the basement, and to the wall of clues. Majestic music soars.

In black films, especially black romcoms— all black or majority black corporate offices that could take place any any city. The country isn’t Atalanta and even in Atalanta it’s not that black to that degree in corporate spaces.

[quote]R402 A high school where every student looks like a model.

On that note, I’m always taken aback when the lead breaks up with their initial steady for some boring reason. Because they’re an actor (instead of a real live nurse, grocer, reporter, whatever) the girlfriend/boyfriend is gorgeous.

I always think, “Wouldn’t one put up with much MORE from a [italic]seemingly perfect human specimen?!? [/italic]Good luck finding one of THEM again!”

Saw this one again tonight. Our hero and heroine are facing imminent death or capture and decide right then to have a 5 minute heart to heart while the baddies close in. Pardon me but shouldn't your asses be escaping?

The leading man, perhaps a harried cop who doesn’t care about the rules and beats up suspects, tiptoes into the bedroom in the early hours. He notices his wife is asleep, and quietly gets into bed.

After he emits a gentle snore, she opens her eyes and a single tear falls to the pillow.

If a movie character lives outside of a city, and they live in an apartment, that person can be assumed (in movie terms) to be poverty-stricken, and a failure. If it's a family, that goes double. Despite the fact that many people in the suburbs or small towns live in apartments.

Do you mean cliches or plot devices?

Women determing what they will wear by holding a dress on a hanger in front of their bodies and saying, "no!" before flinging it on the bed.

R477, that will lead to the later scene of her tearfully packing her bags and leaving.

People tossing 2 or 3 random pieces of clothing into an empty suitcase without caring that they'll be all wrinkled because they're in a rush to leave.

r482 and when they get to their destination, with aforementioned suitcase (usually a small one), they have about 20 different outfits with accessories that we see them wear the rest of the movie.

The silent antagonist. The victim asks questions but he does not answer.

r472 I think it is just that filming smaller spaces are difficult.

When someone eats an apple, they have to dramatically rub it on their shirt before chomping into it. It’s usually a red delicious apple which is the shittiest and most flavourless apple variety but looks good on camera.

Someone collapses in the street because they are ill. They happen to land next to a flowerseller so all the flowers get scattered. A crowd appears but the seller never says who the fuck is going to pay for this loss of stock?

Wall Street's "Greed is good".

It was intended as a cautionary tale for those who think putting the successful career over everything and everybody , was instead taken as a how-to model for being relentlessly unethical and immoral to win all the toys.

R484 Also the verbose antagonist who gives the protagonist a lecture on why and how he's going to kill him, naturally giving the hero time to flip the tables on them and kill him instead.

The beleaguered housewife sneaks out to the backyard for some quiet time on the kid's swing (while either smoking or drinking).

The beleaguered housewife sneaking a puff out the window and trying to fan the smoke out with her hand when someone knocks.

Or a beleaguered housewife sitting down on the couch with a huge glass of wine

The driver looking at the passenger more than the road.

The creepy voyeur watching the sexy woman slink around her apartment/hotel room doing exclusively sexy woman things--tiptoeing around the kitchen sipping coffee in panties, stripping off her workout clothes and slipping into the shower, lotioning her legs in a silk robe. So obviously the things straight men imagine hot women do when they're alone at home.

People can remember someone's name after being told it only once.

The driver looking at the passenger more than the road.

R493 - and shots of the driver's eyes as he looks at the passenger in the rear view mirror.

So true r494. When women are home alone they wear skimpy lingerie and act like Playboy Playmates! They're never sitting on the couch in sweatpants shoveling food in their faces while watching tv.

Men who are home alone never scratch and/or adjust their balls.

R495 Even worse when they can spell it too.

R493 It happens in avante garde films, low rent comedies, slasher flicks, Oscar bait dramas, action thrillers. I can’t fucking stand it. It might be perhaps the most common movie trope of all time. If any emotional connection, hell a mere bs conversation is being had, eyes will NOT be on the road. And the journey will be perfect.

Dad, stop treating like a kid. I'm almost ( fill in the age)!

Movies and TV shows where the word “look” is used all the time. Over and over. Look is now the like of this generation.

Now ALL the Women are riding cock on top. No missionary anymore.

Finding a car on the street that is always easy to break into and start.

The freeze frame of the protagonist in an embarrassing situation, like in the middle of being punched or something else humiliating that looks good paused, followed by the narration: “You’re probably wondering how I ended up like this.”

Cue flashback.

Anytime they try to set up Jode Foster with a love interest it all gos south

[Quote]The creepy voyeur watching the sexy woman slink around her apartment/hotel room doing exclusively sexy woman things

It would be absolutely hilarious to mock this trope by having the voyeur all geared up with his hand down his pants only to discover the gorgeous target of his obsession bleaching her mustache and eating canned frosting while watching Great British Bake Off, or rinsing her period panties in the bathroom sink, or ripping a fart while internet stalking her ex.

You know, the things women ACTUALLY do when they're home alone.

I’m surprised no one hasn’t said the token black friend yet. You know how klan grannies get.

With that being said, don’t you just love how Dave Chapelle is Tom Hanks’ best friend in You’ve Got Mail. I forget nearly every time I see it and I love it. Everytime I first see Dave’s peanut head, I just burst out in laughter. It was such left of center casting. Love it.

Gay male characters who deeply care if their straight female friends get laid enough.

Working class white people in suburbia who aren’t racist and are well spoken. I said what the fuck I said.

I love this thread. Only in DL would this topic get more than 500 responses...

Hostages who never have to pee and poo

Somebody goes into the restroom at work and there's no co-worker in there ripping a loud shit. Every men's room in every workplace I've ever worked, at least one of my co-workers has been in there taking a shit.

This is turning into a stealth scat thread...

R503 Those are awesome. You are a tasteless cunt.

The police guarding a hospital room can be easily bypassed.

The police detective who wears designer suits.

R515 Dennis Farina

It's not something I'm proud of but I'll tell you about it.

Woman with a compact checking her makeup.

Please tell us what happened in your own words.

The journalist who agrees something is off the record but then writes it anyway.

We learn the main suspect has an estranged relative who turns out to be the real killer seeking revenge.

r518 How is that a cliche and why would you detest that??

R510 or what about hostages who become “brave” during the middle of the 2nd act and start talking shit to the villains with wit that would make Betty White blush. I’d still be scared shitless.

"Hey! You can't go in there!!"

[quote] Woman with a compact checking her makeup.

Only if she uses what she sees reflected in the mirror to accidentally discover the clue that breaks the whole case wide open.

R511 If that does happen, you can bet you’re watching a comedy.

R513 In the right movie, they can be very funny.

R522 - You don't see compacts in movies much anymore. But i saw two in a row in old movies so that made me laugh.

Everyone wearing suits!

Characters who sit in their TV-less living rooms and read books.

Something I really hate in recent horror movies is, the evil creature is sped up to move really fast onscreen. Apparently moving abnormally fast is … scary.

It used to be used primarily in trailers, but it’s now being done in movies too and you know when you see that, the movie is bad.

He grabs her arm. She: "You're hurting me."

I used to hate the spinning newspapers that then stop on a headline to cover plot points. Now I miss them. They save time. The cutest is in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

R533 "Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot!"

R530 you must be low rent.

Offices without visibly old people, especially in supervisory positions. And there may be one or two old white men but you never see old women.

R536- offices with no or maybe one person of South Asian descent. Maybe one of East Asian descent. No Jews.

The “plain” character due for a makeover… played by a former model in eyeglasses and no lipstick.

The person who’s late for work trying to shove a coffee mug into the car cup holder, sloshing it everywhere.

Flying underpowered clunker cars that could never make that jump.

Character gets in the car. The ignition is not working. Sudden knock on the window - jump scare.

Eating food in the car after work

Having to be there at the same time as your ex

To show rage or frustration, character emits primal scream and sweeps everything off a table/desk onto the floor.

-OR-

Character emits primal scream and trashes entire room.

Not just a glass or an office supply, but everything, crash, smash, bang. HATE that.

A woman is having a crisis and crying in a stall in the ladies room at work. Co-workers come into the bathroom and start talking about her. The woman pulls herself together and comes out of the stall. They see each other. The woman can either walk out silently with dignity or make a comment.

A variation is how the protagonist has a private conversation with someone in the ladies room, then someone appears from a stall so it is clear she has overheard them. The person can also appear after the first two leave the room.

The sudden reappearance of needy ‘college buddy,’ as catalyst for detonating your entire existence

Fish out of water - the rube at the sophisticated dinner party.

People who walk into their houses and say, "I'm home!"

I watched the remake of When a Stranger Calls last night. Every horror movie cliche. It was great playng "prediction".

The house in that movie is cool.

Movies set in the late 30s or 40s that feature "Sing, Sing, Sing" on the soundtrack

Movies set in the late 60s or early 70s with "For What It's Worth" or anything by Jefferson Airplane on the soundtrack

When a guy asks a girl to dinner, she says "yes," and the guy says, "Great. See you then," without setting a date or time.

Characters who just met agree to meet again and part without exchanging phone numbers or addresses. Miraculously, they congregate some time later in one of their homes.

The emotionally damaged beauty who's in an abusive relationship with the bad guy, has fuck-all to do with the plot. and whose only raison d'être is to have the good guy swoop in to save her.

Character takes a single step backwards into a dark, silent, empty road only to be hit by a sudden car flying 90 mph out of nowhere.

The Italian mom who's always in the kitchen stirring a huge vat of spaghetti sauce and whose son walks in, samples the sauce from the ladel she's using to stir it, drops the ladel back in the pot, then says, "Gotta run. Love ya, ma!"

R555, or the son or grandson who grabs some crusty bread and dips it in the sauce. Grandma/Ma slaps his wrist with the wooden spoon and then kisses him on the cheek.

Car chases where the chaser and chasee are driving through a huge intersection. Their light is red but they run it, NEITHER CAR is totalled but the other cars explode, spin, around or flip over!!

The expanding pool of blood under a dying character.

When two people are naked in bed, and one gets up, and magically the sheet or blanket stays wrapped around their body.

The wild, wacky, wise-cracking, finger-snapping, crazy, sparkle-brite gay friend who never has a calm observation but I'd always ON, ON, ON!

It's exhausting just thinking about them

When the character sits down to play the piano, and suddenly the camera angle changes such that we either can't see fingers touching keys, or we can't see that the hands so expertly playing are attached to the actor.

R541 also easily starting a car without a key. Every character even the most bimbo of blondes can jumpstart a car like a veteran carjacker. Even my black ass without a key would be like “well bitch what we gon do”.

R554 right lol. I pretty much loathe car cliches in movies because I love driving and it’s therapeutic to me. You would hear some shit like that coming. Also they had to be driving with the lights off, only to suddenly turn them on to hit said person.

What about the emotionally damaged hero? Always a tragedy with a dead child or wife, both is even better. It's rarely ever just an every day Joe Normal living in the burbs happy married with kids. Only action comedies do this. If it's serious action you get damaged hero who has to overcome or use his trauma to save everyone.

Sex on the beach, kitchen table, etc. is always mind-blowingly hot. Not uncomfortable

Clean pussy.

San Franciso has the best car chase scenes. They will elevate a mediocre movie to oconic status.

Clean ass in gay porn.

r567 I was about to say something similar. Spontaneous anal sex and everyone is nice and clean.