Nobody has ever wanted to date me

At this point? Yes.

This begs the question, have YOU ever asked someone how for a date or are you expecting them to come knocking on your door?

Post your stats, what do you look like?

Are you a 3 trying to date 10?

Do you have any friends? What do they say about this situation? Personality issues?

You're 55 and have never dated?

What exactly would you be "giving up" at this point? Sounds like you gave up a long time ago.

And we can't diagnose you based on just an age. Whatever personality "features" that complete this picture are likely the key points to address.

And you know it.

Two words: Massage Whores.

Definitely a personality issue, I have seen many butt ugly people date regularly.

I’m. 37 and no one has ever wanted to date me and everyone I have ever liked has never liked me back.

I don’t see this changing.

In 15 years, I’ll be just like you.

I realized a long time ago it was me. In my case Avoidant Personality Disorder. Not everyone is meant to be in a relationship.

You're either way too picky or you don't make enough of an effort to be attractive. It's not that hard to get into a relationship.

r9 Overreact much? Calm your tits.

R10 = truly unloveable, everyone avoids him.

It’s not about making yourself more attractive. It’s about being open to other people.

I really wonder about people who think they have to put so much work into being “attractive.”

What you are going to attract is someone just as superficial as you are.

OP I used to have the same thought process , I discovered the following.

1. Not every person you meet will be material for a romantic or sexual encounter even if you are attracted to them. A solid friendship could develop. Nothing may develop.

2. If your primary goal is romantic involvement and you continually seek this you will never find it. If you ask around with people in long-term relationships meeting was not planned it was totally random and yes it resulted in an attraction that moved along in the process easily.

3. Engage in meet up situations that is not necessarily " gay" related were you share a common interest. This is a better venue for meeting people with a similar value system as you.

4. No harm in having a fuck buddy(s) in those situations where you are sexually compatible with the relationship centered on meeting mutual sexual needs only . As long as it's approached with respect and mutual boundaries are maintained.

I’m 36 and I fear this is my future. Never kept a boyfriend longer than 2 years and those have been few and far between. Most guys only last 3 months or so.

I'm 38 and the longest relationship I've had is two months. I think there are a lot of gays in their 30s, 40s and 50s who have never dated due to anxiety and/or insecurity. They just aren't the ones you are going to be seeing on social media or the apps.

OP: Do you have any theories as to why nobody has ever wanted to date you?

Ms. Lindsey, you are well over 55, so stop lying about your age. Isn't it evident why no one wants to date you, since you never leave Trump's ass?

OP dropped his turd here an hour ago and hasn’t bothered to respond to any of your well-meant and potentially useful suggestions since.

This suggests to me he doesn’t give a shit what you think. And confirms why he’s unfuckable as well as unloveable. Life - and love - is a two-way street. You have respond and all we get from OP is silence.

A relationship takes work. How can anyone find love if they can’t even be bothered to reply when someone answers a question they asked?

It's your gross personality, OP. If it had a physical embodiment, it would be the Elephant Man.

It gets better OP, I've never been in a relationship but I have dated and now I am in my 70's and honestly glad it never happened for me. I simply couldn't take having to deal with someone else at this point and am quite happy all by myself. I get to have everything exactly how I want it, no compromises, I haven't gotten mad at anyone in years and there is no stress. I guess it depends on how needy you are.

If you're 55, you're already dated.

Don't give up! First, be brutally honest about your appearance, grooming, always try to look your best without trying too hard. Do not look at what 35 year-olds wear for your own inspiration, and anyone that age who goes out with you is, on some level, expecting you to have money.

The problem with sad sacks like OP is that they feel they deserve that best looking youngish guy who is 1000 light years out of their league. OP and everyone else, if you’re serious about changing your life around, look for a date who is exactly like you - a chunky balding glasses wearing schlub. They aren’t so bad, honey, just look at yourself!

R18, it’s because he’s with bullshitting us or because he’s jumping off the George Washington Bridge.

Grow up, r12. It's not superficial to put effort into looking good. Spoken like someone who hasn't been fuckable in decades.

It is superficial to think that the reason you don’t have a relationship is because you’re not attractive enough.

It’s a “hit and run OP.”

With all due respect, Miss OP, I have troubles of my own.

Too picky and that’s saying it in a nice way.

OP here....I am not picky at all I'm and have asked out a wide variety of gays of all shapes and sizes. They always say no. I asked out 4 guys at my gym the last year and they all said no. My best friend thinks I come across as too needy and desperate and I should play cool and never "chase" a guy but if I don't make the move nobody will ever come to me.

All my friends in my friend group are in relationships. I dated guys on Hinge and after a few dates they've all dumped me. I told my therapist I'm really convinced something is wrong with me....it's hard not not to internalize all this constant rejection.

R12 Because when you see someone who is a slob and presenting the worst version of themselves, it says a lot about their time management, mental state, maturity, etc.

I find that hard to believe. People will date anybody.

[quote] OP here....I am not picky at all

[quote] I asked out 4 guys at my gym the last year

These two statements seem to contradict each other.

If you've never had a boyfriend, then it's because your standards are too high. If you're a 5, then ask out 4-5s. If you're asking out 7-10s, then you're not going to get any takers.

I can’t drive 55! 😩

R33 Nailed it.

OP is claiming he's not picky but 2 of the last 4 dates are gym bunnies. Hate to break it to you OP but not being picky means you would or have already tried dating other types of guys that maybe don't work out or even have a few extra pounds. By that I mean something like +20lbs not ounces. Or maybe a guy who just makes minimum wage or works at the grocery store stocking shelves. THAT is more in line with "not being picky".

I feel like all gay guys died and no one told me.

Being alone is underrated.

Not to OP apparently R38.

I left behind a few aging gay friends in my old city who were and are like this. Eternally single, eternally mopey about it. They were a bit older than me. Now they’re nearing 70. Nothing has changed except for a lot more health issues.

If you want to be happier single, there are pathways to that. Friendships, pets, travel, etc. If you really long to be coupled and you’re 55 and so far you’ve never been in a romantic relationship for even a year, then I don’t know what to tell you except there are likely some deep-seated reasons for your pattern.

OP, get out there. Force yourself to do things with other gay men, activities and events that will get you noticed. Try volunteering with gay groups.

Try acting haughty and aloof, with a dusting a wounded mystique

I am guessing there is something consistently bad his dates don't want to tell him. Poor hygiene, smells bad, maybe he's rude or talks over them. Who knows. Those are uncomfortable things to tell someone you just started dating.

It's one thing to have not fund the right person by 55, but if in all that time you have never had a relationship that lasted at least 1 year it's definitely something you are doing to make this happen. It's not your looks I am guessing because that is easily solved. Glad you are in counseling, but you need to ask your counselor to be blunt with you and stop wasting time just bitching about it to him every session.

I was never going to meet someone. I owned a business and made a lot of money. Didn't want to get used. Stayed faithful to the Catholic Church. I am 71 now and realize that was right for me. Good luck OP.

Wow, so R44 so paranoid about HIS money he's given up all opportunity for love, sex, and a deep commitment from other human beings just to protect his assets. I don't know about R44, but from my Catholic upbringing the love of money is an actual sin as it being wealthy when others are in poverty.

I would rather be dirt poor with many people who actually care about me than rich with not a single person who loves me. In fact, I just lost a client 2 weeks ago to suiside in her 60's because she was lonely without a relationship, and she was in perfect health. All that time protecting her millions meant nothing. She didn't take it with her I can tell you now, the people she least likely wanted to get anything, all have a piece of it now in spite of her wishes and legal paperwork set up beforehand.

OP, this one is sold out except for tent camping, but since you'll almost certainly be single next year, if you're in the NYC area (or even if not) maybe you want to consider it for Oct 2026. Nice guys, personal growth and massage workshops and other similar stuff in a lovely Fall retreat setting. I went to Easton Mountain 3 or 4 times a decade ago and had really positive experiences.

R5- On that show - My 600 lbs Life one sees 700 lb women who have husbands. I’m not a fat whoresnd I’ve never had a boyfriend.

R30/OP- I admire your nerve. I could never go up to a guy like that and ask him out- and you did it 4 times. You knew that all of these guys were gay at your gym?

When I was younger and very good looking, I had the opposite problem. I was constantly being asked out. But I was shy and insecure, and my personality couldn’t handle it. I didn’t have the social skills to do this. I had nothing to say. At that time in my life, I didn’t want to be part of a couple. I completely withdrew from the gay scene and dating. I would go to the bathhouse when I needed to get laid. There you don’t have to socialize and chat.

When I was 41, I met the man with whom I have spent 27 years (so far).

[quote]I’m not a fat whoresnd I’ve never had a boyfriend.

The question is not how fat you are, it's how fat the other guy can be before you dismiss him for a date. You keep talking about 2 guys you asked at the gym, that right there tells me chances are they were in good shape or close to it. Have you ever dated a chubby guy or bear?

True R50 and it's not just bodyweight, there's an even larger issue at age 40+ where a large % of men are repulsed by the aging process and repulsed by it in others. Ask your typical single gay man if he'd date somebody 8 years younger.... "Sure!" Ask him if he'd date somebody 8 years older.... *uncomfortable hesitation*

Op im in the U.S on vacation and one of the most attractive guys i met was practicely interviewing me to be in a relationship with him. He just cant find a good guy. And he's hot. I was a model And im not fem, but there are butcher lesbians, so I believe 100% that masc tops looks in gaydom and im not masc enough for the guys i like. . i go out, still want to flirt, but i only get overly styled twinks; swooning at me. Im not into them but im always friendly. I am always being told I am very nice, and that its unusual for attractive guys to be nice. So i also think my nice guy personality puts me into guys Friendzone...as im not overly sexual. But no one ever wants to date me; . ive never had luck. Ive friends who say im the hot one, yet they score every time they go out, i never do. I often feel outside looking in. So, it wud appear to not be about looks; im not quasimodo, but even ugly guys get guys...I just dont. Im gonna try do something differrnt like join a gay club like a filmclub or tennis club...guys arent gonna knock on our doors. u gotta be pro active. But it must be a personaloty trait with me as i do feel like an oddball. But honestly over the years, I just dont get anyone, that I like, being interested. Ultimately im shy. , my best mate isnt hot but hes a car dealer, always picks up. But dont ever, ever give up, there's too many guys in our position, we just need to be in the same space lol. Good luck.

r52 Interesting statement--thanks for posting it. It can be that many people automatically assume that those with very good looks already are well supplied with lovers, and/or that people with very good looks are out of their league and so don't bother trying in order to spare themselves a bit of humiliation. They don't understand that many of those who are naturally quite good-looking are secure in being so and don't even consider looks of others as an important "decider" in relationships.

Op, are you passively waiting around for someone to ask you out or have you actively been rejected when you asked?

It sounds like OP has been asking out a series of guys at the gym but getting rejected. OP are you obtaining enough info (is he single?) and signals (is he indicating possible interest?) before making the ask?

R49, that's a great story. I feel like I'm in a similar boat. I'm 38 now and I feel like I'm actually getting more attention now because I try to put myself out there even though I was probably more attractive in my 20s. But I was too insecure and my self-esteem to weak to get into anything serious. In retrospect, that was probably for the best.