Let's Be Rhode Island

I'm Rhode Island. You have to drive through me to get to somewhere better.

I'm H.P. Lovecraft . I'm afraid of black people and cephalopods.

I'm Providence.

I'm the Providence Plantations, Little Rhody's original name.

A few hundred years after the colony's founding, and long after slavery was abolished in Rhode Island, guilty white liberals will spend millions of dollars scraping those two words off of state property. It's a fair distraction from the state's bigger problems, and allows for some feel-good moments.

I'm Newport - home of mansions and the International Tennis Hall of Fame.

It's expensive to live in Rhode Island

I'm the Rhode Island School of Design, or RISD (Riz-dee) if you prefer.

I'm the Providence mafia. I'm at least as powerful as those fat dipshits in New Jersey, but far more discreet.

I'm Brown, the choice for kids who want to go to an Ivy League school but have an easy time of it.

What's the vibe of Providence and Rhode Island generally? Is it just a southern version of Massachusetts, or more similar to Connecticut. Or a combo, or something totally unique. Is it New England-y?

Funny, I was just randomly thinking earlier today about that now famous secret apartment someone once set up in the Providence Place Mall.

I honestly always forget that it's there.

I haven't heard great things about it - kind of trashy and rundown is what I've been told.

You know that feeling you get when you're sitting in your car outside a pizza joint in a bad neighborhood at 4pm on a Monday? You probably won't get stabbed, but you hope to fuck your pizza's ready before the next school bus pulls up to deposit some teens on the corner. It smells like pizza cheese and diesel fumes. Across the street is one of those Pizza Hut buildings that now houses a condemned Vietnamese restaurant, next to a CVS with bars on the windows. But the streets have original brick, and they've been here a long-ass time.

THAT'S the vibe of Providence.

I'm the Battle of Point Judith, which took place after Hitler had already unalived himself. The last German U-boat to be sunk in WWII.

I’m the Station night club fire.

[quote] It's expensive to live in Rhode Island

The whole Northeast is so expensive. Don’t know how young people, with an average salary, make it in those states

I'm Nibbles Woodaway.

I'm famous for you.

I’m Rhode Island’s housing market. Because we haven’t built much around here for 50 years it’s over $2000 for a 1 bedroom apartment from 1972 with no remodeling or washer dryer. And there is a waiting list. Worst rental market in the country (and I know from experience).

I'm Sunny von Bulow

I'm the elegant summers of wealthy New Yorkers during the Gilded Age.

I’m the once legal prostitution.

I'm Jay Leno's digs...

I’m Taylor swifts mansion-on-the ocean (watch hill) that she never stays at

I'm The Simpsons reference to Rhode Island clam chowder. Do I actually exist?

I'm Lincoln Chaffee and I was kicked out of both political parties.

Rhode Island clam chowder has a clear broth.

It is the most Italian state in the union.

I’m the Portagees.

I’m Petah and Lois Griffin

I'm Pawtucket...or is it Pawcatuck? I always mixed them up.

I'm the awful accents

I’m its grime (which, yes, frequently intersects with its crime).

I’m the only gay bathhouses in all of New England.

And I’m the Providence restaurant scene - better than in cities three times the size.

I’m the most Catholic State in America, with about 42% identifying as Roman Catholic

I'm Roger Williams

I'm Johnson & Wales University - which sounds like one of those newly-founded online-only universities, but isn't - it's a regular university that's been around for a long time.

I’m Amica Insurance, I love transplants.

I’m Kiel James Patrick and I sell preppy pumpkin sweaters for Halloween!

I’m Nancy Ann Cianci, former First Lady of Providence.

I'm "Candid Camera". In the 1960s I stopped cars from entering Rhode Island by telling the drivers "Rhode Island is closed today". Nobody argued. Everyone turned around.

I'm Brian and Stewie Griffin singing "Off on the Road to Rhode Island" in a train boxcar

I’m the Superman building.

I’m Tricia Takanawa.

It's The Mega-Plex!

New England's largest gay bathhouse located at 257 Allen's Ave, Providence RI, 02905

Cum for a visit!

It's really not an island.

But Rhode Island has a gorgeous coastline.