I quit my job, divorced my husband, and moved to Italy to retire

I wasn't getting any younger. I figured I could always work again if I wanted to. But right now? I wanted to climb a waterfall in Cambodia and ride a motorbike in Vietnam.

So I quit my job, retired, and divorced my husband. We had 30 years together, raised our amazing kids — but to sum it up, he had no curiosity. I didn't want just to walk the dog, play pickleball, and tend a garden. I wanted a bigger life.

After the divorce, I moved into a small apartment in Colorado with a monthly rent of $1,700. I still have it and rent it out to traveling nurses abroad.

In the beginning, I thought I'd travel the majority of the year, come back to the States, and live a "normal" life there for one month a year.

For some time, I did that. I've visited nearly 50 countries, including Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, Madagascar, Turkey, Cyprus, and the more popular spots, like France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, and Greece.

After being a mom to four kids, it's amazing to travel alone. Eating, sleeping, and reading when you want to is nice. You can go back to the same restaurant twice or visit a museum. You have no one to apologize to or explain yourself to.

I remember sitting on a bench in front of Picasso's famous painting Guernica in the Reina Sofía Museum in Madrid. Who knew I could sit and look at it for half an hour without anyone saying, "Oh my God, can we go? Are you done?"

It was a sense of freedom that was incredible.

After 7 years of full-time backpack and hostel traveling, I was ready to set up a home base. I wanted to put my toothbrush on my own sink and put my clothes on a hanger somewhere.

I knew I didn't want to live in the US anymore. Not only did I feel empowered abroad, but I also felt that the US no longer aligned with my values.

I wasn't into the US's overconsumption. With the divisive political climate and the ridiculous gun culture, there was no way in hell I'd live there after experiencing a more peaceful life in so many other countries.

In 2022, moved to Portugal on a retirement residency visa. After about 11 months, I realized I could apply for Italian citizenship through ancestry, and the process would be faster in Italy than in the US. That was a game changer.

For some time, I explored different parts of Italy, trying to determine where I wanted to live.

I lived in a small medieval village in Umbria, and visited Bologna, Milan, Torino, Rome, and Florence. Then I went to Palermo, a city on the island of Sicily, and it hit me: I had found my soul city.

Palermo is a feast for the senses. There's laughter, joy, noise — it's completely lovely.

I moved to the city in October 2024. I didn't want to live in the suburbs — though living in the outer areas will always be less expensive and, in some ways, more authentic. So, I chose to live in the city center.

I live in an area where I can walk for about 15 minutes and be at a cathedral, the gardens, or in the neighborhoods where all the restaurants, markets, and festivals happen.

Palermo has a vast and active expat community. I feel safe in my neighborhood.

I have a good friend who lives by the local train station, about a 30-minute walk from my apartment. I walk back from her house all the time late at midnight, and there's no stress — I'm not walking with my keys in my hand.

My apartment is about 1,100 square feet, and I pay around $800 monthly plus a $100 condominium fee.

It came completely furnished and is gorgeous. I have three sets of French doors that open onto three separate balconies. The floors are terrazzo with border patterns, and there are medallions on the 12-foot high ceiling. My bathroom is spacious, which is hard to find in Italy, where showers are often the size of a phone booth.

The apartment building dates back to the early 1930s. Although it is old, compared to some other buildings in Italy, it feels relatively new.

I couldn't afford my lifestyle if I moved back to the US. I receive $1,500 a month in Social Security. It's not enough to cover rent in Denver, but abroad, it easily covers my housing and much more.

Daily expenses are affordable in Palermo. I love that I can go to the grocery store and not break the bank. You can buy tomatoes, eggplants, zucchini, sun-dried tomatoes, and everything else for a song.

Healthcare is also much more affordable in Italy. In 2024, while traveling in Tunisia, I broke my foot. When I returned to Italy, I had two sets of X-rays and two appointments with an orthopedic specialist, and the total cost was less than $150.

At the time, I wasn't even on the national healthcare system. Now that I'm an Italian citizen, I'm fully covered, which means there's no charge for general care. If I need to see a specialist, like a dermatologist, I might pay around $40.

Sheahan on a rooftop terrace of the Duomo di Milano in Milan.Courtesy of Cindy Sheahan Living in Italy, I make a new discovery every day. That sense of wonder and joy has become a regular part of my life.

I feel like I outgrew a lot of people and places in the US. Don't get me wrong, I desperately miss my friends and family, especially my kids. But they're all able to travel, and they'd much rather visit me somewhere fun than grab a drink at a bar in Denver.

My quality of life has improved in Italy. I walk almost everywhere, so my blood pressure, weight, and cholesterol are in better condition. I eat better, have made new friends, cut down on expenses, and most importantly, I'm happy.

This BITCH!

[Quote]My company was kind enough to let me take a sabbatical while I sorted out my world. It turned out to be a mistake for them, because I decided I wasn't coming back.

No, it was no mistake. We knew the humblebragging bitch wouldn't be back.

Not even a thank you note after she took half my money to go travel around the world?

The children will raise themselves!

[quote] After 7 years of full-time backpack and hostel traveling, I was ready to set up a home base. I wanted to put my toothbrush on my own sink and put my clothes on a hanger somewhere.

She seems kind of OLD to be backpacking and "hostel traveling."

This old cunt had a midlife crisis, doesn’t mention her adult kids once (except in passing, to slam them for not letting her enjoy a painting all day), LUCKED INTO European citizenship and cheap housing, and we’re supposed to applaud her third act?

I hope her four kids and ex-husband have moved on without her. And I hope she visits Mount Etna and falls in.

Eat, Pray, Cunt.

"I figured I could always work again if I wanted to."

Uh - in this economy? Think again toots. No one's hiring a flakey 63 year old who'd rather be anywhere than at work.

"My husband had no curiosity" = My husband was working over 50+ hours a week to provide a home and put our kids through college while I worked part-time in real estate, and he couldn't afford to just quit his job in his 50s so far away from retirement.

Good for her for doing a brave and adventurous thing - but God damn, you don't have to put people down and write about it for everyone to see.

Are sun-drird tomatoes not available in Colorado? What a pretentious cunt. I hope some guido robs her.

I'm sure her adult children are really looking forward to uprooting their busy lives for expensive world travel to go see her when she could be close by and actually see her grandchildren.

Kids: Daddy, where is Mommy?

Dad: She's gone to find herself.

Kids: Will she be back?

Dad: I don't know, Jimmy. I really don't know. We'll pray for her.

I'm planning on doing pretty much the same thing in about 5 years. I'm thinking about Turin. I don't have a family, but I do need to wait for my 88 year old mom to die. I've lived in NYC almost all my life, but once I retire I'm sure I'd get priced out of Manhattan eventually - so better to make a more interesting less expensive change before it becomes a necessity. I have 5 friends who have moved to Europe either full or part time this year.

[quote] A lot of people I knew were dying, and I started thinking: You really don't know how many days you get or what's promised to you.

What ever happened to "for better, or for worse?"

Gawd, talk about a bunch of cranks on this board (no surprise really). Good for her, she wanted to change her life and has had the balls to make a series of key decisions in a measured / curious approach. She seems to have built a life that fits her needs, both for now and in the future. I’d love that life and want to take a similar pathway at somepoint in my future.

A lot of these expats seem to be liberals.

Not surprising since they hate America so much and don't value family.

Good riddance!

I encourage more libs to move out.

Bookmarking this so I can read it daily for inspiration

I encourage YOU to die in a grease fire, Trumptard. Like fascism so much? Move to Russia, dirty cuntress.

Thanks for sharing this, OP. It inspires me to keep working towards my dream of retiring to Taormina.

[quote] Not surprising since they hate America so much and don't value family.

Loving America and valuing family of course means dicking around in some useless job for some useless corporation and hating every minute of it while training your kids to do the same useless shit in the same useless way.

I’m of two minds about this woman. Points for full-immersion into the European experience and really engaging with her new adopted nation and culture. She seems very satisfied with her decision.

And.. what a narcissist. I, me, I, me, I, me, I, me x100. It’s not clear at all that any of the four now-adult children she says she raised feels any connection with her or love for her… or vice versa.

That's just it though. "Adult children." They can deal with mom as she is, as somebody who doesn't want a tired old life in a tired old way, pretending that the usual shit is just fine, or not. And they can either accept that or not. She is not obligated to live for them, once they are adults and taking care of themselves, and they are not obligated to follow her on her adventure. Either way, I don't think she is doing anything terrible. They can be as conventional as they want, or not. She can be as adventurous as she wants. Nobody needs to fall apart about it.

Atta ‘girl!

R23, I was not speaking of obligations. I was speaking of narcissism. The self-absorption comes across very strong with her. No, she is not obligated to care for her four adult children and clearly she’s doing zero on that score, but does she even want any ongoing relationship with them at all? Does she even love them? Did she ever? The vibe here is, maybe not.

She's been in Palermo for all of nine months - still the honeymoon phase

How nice for her. So glad she felt the need to humblebrag about it online.

Bitch.

Eh, R16, the boys are just jealous, as always.

[quote]...and it hit me: I had found my soul city.

Oh, ok, as long as it's your SOUL city, than it's fine.

Signed,

Not your Soul Husband and Non Soul Children

Everybody must be miserable at all times, dammit. Anybody finding anything that isn't the most dreary way to live at all times is a betrayal of all that we hold dear in this land of aspiration, dammit.

Good for her.

Thanks for posting, OP.

Fuck there are some bitter, miserable and envious queens on the DL.

She'll have some regrets when the mania becomes depression again.

Settling in my sofa is fine for me. I made my haven and I don’t need to try to find it. I did plenty before.

These stories are all well and good but leave out an important detail--she is only able to live a fabulous Italian life because of her American money.

She wouldn't be living half as well had she been born, raised, and stayed in Italy. Because her income would be a fraction of that if she was Italian and not American.

Did she touch a nerve, R36?

That is very true R36 - these places seem cheap because the locals earn much less money than we do in this increasingly shitty country. But even with "less" they have a much nicer quality of life in many respects.

I never bought into the American mindset of earning as much as possible, but even so, my rather limited retirement funds will get me a much more enjoyable third act in Europe - so I plan on giving it a go - if that makes me a bad person, I'm a bad person.

I'm happy for them all. She and her husband had obviously grown apart...move on. Why spend the rest of your life/marriage miserable if you can head off and try something new. They (the family) will survive as will the husband. If it doesn't work out for her, at least she tried. No condemnation from me.

Let me guess . . . but you've never been to you.

That stupid fucking "Eat, Pray, Love" book and movie have turned women into selfish cunts.

ME ME ME ME ME!!!! It's all about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

These types of selfish fuckcunts should NEVER get married, and NEVER have kids.

They should just die alone.

I don't have an issue with her moving abroad, I just like to hang shit.

She does come across rather selfish and smug. Very main character energy.

[Quote]so I plan on giving it a go - if that makes me a bad person, I'm a bad person.

You are definitely not a bad person - I think it sounds like you've planned very thoughtfully and I wish you the absolute best.

Getting out of Dodge sounds good to me about now. At least their fascist bitch is under control. (Isn't she?)

When I was in Panama, and speaking to everyone in my bad Spanish, I mentioned to (maybe) my Uber driver that I was leaving the US because my country was becoming a dictatorship.

The driver replied, "So is this one."

Her kids should shun her.

She's a very selfish person.

is it to late at 43 to go back to school and get a degree in finance?

Absolutely not, R43. A close friend at 48 is halfway through their career transition to become a psychotherapist.

Expensive though. You definitely need a financial road map… and a realistic outlook for what your income will look like in the years after. If you are late 40s or older it can be difficult to get hired as an unknown; ageism is very real.

[quote]is it to late at 43 to go back to school and get a degree in finance?

It is if you don't know the difference between "to," 'two," and "too."

R37 no cunt, she didn't. I am pointing out that regular Italians scoff at these rich Americans who think living in Italy is like Under the Tuscan Sun.

R38 not bad at all. We should all strive to live the best life possible but just be mindful of how much luck is involved. Americans have one of the strongest currencies in the world which allows us a lot of freedom--even the freedom to leave the US and move to another 1st world country and live in relative luxury, if we want.

I just think we need to be humble about it.

On second thought, a nerve was struck. I would like Americans to acknowledge their luck more.

I can just image what this bitch sounds like when she talks. I envision Madeleine Kahn as Eunice Burns in “What's Up Doc?”

She took it as a compliment, but no one was standing in her way as she went to travel to the other side of the world.

She's decidedly more self-absorbed than reflective. The reverse situation might have made a better article. But all the same, what's to criticize? That a marriage comes to an end after 40 years? That she.moved to another country leaving her adult children behind (who do, she notes visit her)? That she initially backpacked around Europe [bold]for seven years?[/bold] That she subsequently stumbled around finding a place that finally seemed the right place to live? That (me speculating) she might end up another place at some point?

Some will criticize her for all the wandering, for not having had a plan and a timetable for leaving the US behind, for divorcing her husband, for not lingering stateside to hover over her adult children, for having enough money to do all of this.

Why the fuck not? I don't think people should be required to start winding down their lives in their 60s. Leave anyplace in the US, a hometown, the country itself, and 90% of the population will think that person feels too big for his britches. They will argue against it despite having no sound reason - their reasons are what-ifs, at best. It's as if no one should wish better or different for himself.

Fuck the idea that people have some obligation to die where they are born, that they must be "productive", that they don't belong where they were not born.

To my view the world would be a little less fucked up if more people tried to do more with their lives, and farther afield rather than less and nearer where they "belong "

R11 Marry me!

"I hope some Guido robs her" should be right up there alongside "Die in a grease fire" and "This is more depressing than a Shriner's Circus!"

It‘s all fun and games until you are „in the system“ — meaning bureaucracy, tax office, building administration and whatnot to deal with. Endless letters, lots of paperwork, lengthy appointments.

Don‘t do it.

It's worth it r56 as long as I don't have to play Pickleball!

Who would DL burn the first and brightest? This chick or the wife who made her husband sell everything and move to South Carolina only to immediately divorce him and move back to NI?

*NJ is where they lived.

ME ME ME.

Girls Girls Girls! You're BOTH old bitter cunts no one want to be around!

I do, R55! Let's honeymoon in Palermo.

R62 Only so we can spend a week hunting down Cindy in her adopted hometown, and pelt her with tomatoes. They can dry in the sun as she walks home in shame.

To be generous, if she's now 63, then she was raised in-between two separate ideas of what a woman/wife can or should be.

She may have gone toward the more traditional route and got married young, spent her whole life dedicated to her kids and household, which is very monotonous, draining and with little recognition. She may have never had the chance to travel internationally due to finances or kids.

We can all talk about travel as gay people, but let's face it - we have less responsibilities ad more disposable income to do this very easily.

I wish she would have spoken to that a bit more if that was the case instead of the dismissive 'my husband lacks curiosity'.

We all have only one life to live and there's not much to go on about her background or her marriage. It just didn't come off well in this article.

Sounds like she may have been talking to her husband about this for years and got nowhere and she felt trapped. She didn't want to wait until 65 or 67 to start travel - IF that would ever happen anyway if her husband doesn't like to travel.

Couple questiona. Any mention of the two year covid paralysis? Why would she keep a $1700 apartment in Colorado? All things considered, how can she live on $1500/month, even with eggplants selling "for a song?"

R65, it's all there for you...

[quote]After the divorce, I moved into a small apartment in Colorado with a monthly rent of $1,700. I still have it and rent it out to traveling nurses abroad.

[quote]My apartment [fully furnished, in Palermo] is about 1,100 square feet, and I pay around $800 monthly plus a $100 condominium fee.

[quote]I receive $1,500 a month in Social Security. It's not enough to cover rent in Denver, but abroad, it easily covers my housing and much more.

R65 - I presume alimony and a 50% distribution of assets in the divorce. So hubby had to give over half the investments, liquidate the home (or pay out her portion), etc.

She wasn't eligible for social security for the first few years - I think she just started collecting/be eligible last year at 62.

Again - she's not telling the whole story - not even close.

For all we know, her husband could have left her. We are basing a lot on believing her word of how the end her relationship went down. Or maybe she had his blessing to leave, who knows.

[quote] After the divorce, I moved into a small apartment in Colorado with a monthly rent of $1,700. I still have it and rent it out to traveling nurses abroad.

[quote] My apartment [fully furnished, in Palermo] is about 1,100 square feet, and I pay around $800 monthly plus a $100 condominium fee.

[quote] I receive $1,500 a month in Social Security. It's not enough to cover rent in Denver, but abroad, it easily covers my housing and much more.

Is she even allowed to sublet her apartment? You'd think her landlord wouldn't allow her to do that for such an extended period of time.

And what happens if one day, she can't find a renter? $1500 income minus $900 rent in Palermo = $600. That's not nearly enough to cover the $1700 rent in Denver. That's a pretty risky situation.

Also, in order to live abroad as an American retiree, aren't you supposed to make a minimum of at least $3000 a month, in order to receive a "Pensioner's Visa?"

I think even Mexico requires more than $1500 per month for a PV.

No r69, it’s less than that. It also depends on the consulate you apply through. NY consulate has a higher threshold than say Philadelphia. About five years ago it was $3000 month for two people from NYC. Also once you’re in a country and are renewing it is MUCH lower threshold. For my visa alone for two people you have to show 18000€ a year. So for one person it’s about 1000€ or $1100 a month you have to show.

Thanks, R70.

That's interesting.

I'm gonna research that some more, because I'd like to know what the differences are, for different countries.