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Things Old People Say

It's almost time to watch my program.

by Anonymousreply 472August 15, 2025 1:53 PM

Turn the AC off, it’s cold.

by Anonymousreply 1July 19, 2025 3:14 PM

"Get with a good company and stay with them till you retire."

by Anonymousreply 2July 19, 2025 3:15 PM

"Hand me the clicker."

by Anonymousreply 3July 19, 2025 3:17 PM

I'm sorting my pills for the week.

by Anonymousreply 4July 19, 2025 3:18 PM

When my grandmother's soap operas came on, she'd say, "it's time to watch my stories."

by Anonymousreply 5July 19, 2025 3:19 PM

You need to really pound the pavement and hand in your resume in person. You should call them as well and ask to speak to someone.

by Anonymousreply 6July 19, 2025 3:23 PM

You should ask for a raise.

by Anonymousreply 7July 19, 2025 3:23 PM

We never had sluts and hooers in my day!

by Anonymousreply 8July 19, 2025 3:24 PM

Make sure they have a pension plan.

by Anonymousreply 9July 19, 2025 3:25 PM

"Get on the horn and start talking to people."

by Anonymousreply 10July 19, 2025 3:26 PM

Don’t you dare leav’ yo good gubmint job.

by Anonymousreply 11July 19, 2025 3:28 PM

You’re a whore darling.

by Anonymousreply 12July 19, 2025 3:29 PM

Let me pull out my checkbook to pay for these groceries.

I can look it up in the Yellow Pages

Oh, I need to log into Datalounge before my 8:30 bedtime.

by Anonymousreply 13July 19, 2025 3:32 PM

“They’re nice people, and such good dancers, but they’re so damned lazy! I think ending slavery sucked all the work ethic out of them!

Don’t look at me like that! I have a Black friend! No, you’ve never met her, but I’ve known her for years!”

by Anonymousreply 14July 19, 2025 3:34 PM

R14 Lawd, was your grandmuva one of the extras or similar to the bitches in The Deliverance?

by Anonymousreply 15July 19, 2025 3:38 PM

Take off your coat and stay a while. Let's visit for a spell.

by Anonymousreply 16July 19, 2025 3:39 PM

Black older women refer to soaps as the stories

by Anonymousreply 17July 19, 2025 3:40 PM

"Don't be fresh" when I was talking back.

by Anonymousreply 18July 19, 2025 3:42 PM

Oh, are those a new pair of Dungarees you're wearing?

by Anonymousreply 19July 19, 2025 3:42 PM

I don’t drive at night.

by Anonymousreply 20July 19, 2025 3:42 PM

Supper at 5!

by Anonymousreply 21July 19, 2025 3:43 PM

You would think anyone would find a vagina more desirable than a man’s anus

by Anonymousreply 22July 19, 2025 3:43 PM

You look snappy.

Find a man who makes the dough-ray-me!

by Anonymousreply 23July 19, 2025 3:44 PM

You can’t reheat French toast.

Or for more provincial grannies,

Hurry up and eat chile before it get cold. It can’t be reheated, not even in oven.

by Anonymousreply 24July 19, 2025 3:45 PM

Why are you always on your phone?

by Anonymousreply 25July 19, 2025 3:45 PM

My grandfather grew up during a time with most people were still riding around in buggies pulled by horses. When they would pull up to someone's home the host would always say "get down and come in". My grandfather kept that tradition going until his death when people would drive up to their house in cars he'd come out and say "good to see you, get down and come on into the house".

by Anonymousreply 26July 19, 2025 3:51 PM

Mothers Don’t Hate Their Sons!!!!

by Anonymousreply 27July 19, 2025 3:53 PM

Let's go to the front room and visit on the davenport. (Which is covered in plastic.)

by Anonymousreply 28July 19, 2025 3:54 PM

Mot of these are things today's old people heard old people say when hey were young.

by Anonymousreply 29July 19, 2025 3:59 PM

any mention of Madonna.

by Anonymousreply 30July 19, 2025 4:00 PM

Which one of you is the wife?

by Anonymousreply 31July 19, 2025 4:04 PM

Did I turn the gas off?

by Anonymousreply 32July 19, 2025 4:04 PM

How did your grandfather and I meet?

Well, he was married and my teacher, but it was love at first site. On our first date, he took me down to the soda fountain and then to the drive in, where we saw a double feature, The Blob and The Fly. I was so scared. Later, I repeatedly lost my virginity to him in the back of his '52 Bel Air while Waldo, the town perv, watched in the bushes.

by Anonymousreply 33July 19, 2025 4:05 PM

"Put on some of that darkie music."

by Anonymousreply 34July 19, 2025 4:17 PM

Allegra, play Black Jazz!

by Anonymousreply 35July 19, 2025 4:19 PM

Common sense.

by Anonymousreply 36July 19, 2025 4:27 PM

My grandmother was an old person of 96 when she died in 1981. She called automobiles “machines.”

by Anonymousreply 37July 19, 2025 4:45 PM

My north of England grandma was always visiting relatives and friends, but would say 'I won't take my coat off. - I'm not stopping'.

by Anonymousreply 38July 19, 2025 4:47 PM

Byrd, look it up on “the machine”.

by Anonymousreply 39July 19, 2025 6:12 PM

Are you two going steady?

by Anonymousreply 40July 19, 2025 6:15 PM

He's a bachelor.

by Anonymousreply 41July 19, 2025 6:24 PM

r37 my grandmother died in 2016 at the age of 101. She used to call smartphones "gadgets"

by Anonymousreply 42July 19, 2025 6:27 PM

R42 My mother was 77 when she died in 1998. She called CDs “those little shiny records” she’d put in the “record player” that was built into the radio in her Volvo’s dashboard.

by Anonymousreply 43July 19, 2025 6:52 PM

Why you dumb bunny

by Anonymousreply 44July 19, 2025 6:57 PM

Come in this house!!

by Anonymousreply 45July 19, 2025 6:58 PM

Miz Lesh?

by Anonymousreply 46July 19, 2025 7:00 PM

When Jackie Kennedy married Onassis, my old nonna said she was a "puttana". Does that count?

by Anonymousreply 47July 19, 2025 7:02 PM

Go play outside.

by Anonymousreply 48July 19, 2025 7:03 PM

I hope you’re getting paid overtime for all the extra hours you work!

by Anonymousreply 49July 19, 2025 7:04 PM

That used to be a nice neighborhood until the blacks moved in. Now it's a hellhole.

by Anonymousreply 50July 19, 2025 7:24 PM

The neighborhood “changed”.

by Anonymousreply 51July 19, 2025 7:28 PM

The problem with the blacks...

by Anonymousreply 52July 19, 2025 7:42 PM

Go get a good job at a good fax machine company.

by Anonymousreply 53July 19, 2025 7:43 PM

[quote]Things Old People Say

Just wait.

by Anonymousreply 54July 19, 2025 7:55 PM

I just finished playing my Janet Jackson record.

by Anonymousreply 55July 19, 2025 8:08 PM

I put your lunch in the ICEBOX

by Anonymousreply 56July 19, 2025 8:26 PM

My aunt called the CD player the Victrola and the icebox the Frigidaire.

by Anonymousreply 57July 19, 2025 8:27 PM

I reckon! I declare!

by Anonymousreply 58July 19, 2025 8:31 PM

I can't remember which pocketbook I put my car keys in.

by Anonymousreply 59July 19, 2025 8:31 PM

Do any of you know any old people who aren't racist?

by Anonymousreply 60July 19, 2025 8:31 PM

"(My name), the god-damned remote is broken again!"

by Anonymousreply 61July 19, 2025 8:33 PM

"You know something? That (haircut, caftan, or Ozempic-induced weight loss) really makes you look sharp."

by Anonymousreply 62July 19, 2025 8:34 PM

"Would you like some of my old bras? I think they might fit you."

by Anonymousreply 63July 19, 2025 8:36 PM

Make America Great Again

by Anonymousreply 64July 19, 2025 8:43 PM

I read it online and it wasn’t on Facebook.

by Anonymousreply 65July 19, 2025 8:43 PM

The Spanish people need to learn English!

by Anonymousreply 66July 19, 2025 8:43 PM

There’s no way some of the comments posted here are by old people currently still living. Op said old, not departed.

Reading is fundamental.

by Anonymousreply 67July 19, 2025 8:45 PM

R66, my old racist, relatives used to say "I shouldn't be forced to learn another language in my own country!"

by Anonymousreply 68July 19, 2025 8:46 PM

Tonight I'm going to the disco.

by Anonymousreply 69July 19, 2025 8:46 PM

Locker room 👃

by Anonymousreply 70July 19, 2025 8:49 PM

My 88 year old aunt about her gay grandson’s boyfriend: oh, they’ve been roommates for over twenty years now!

by Anonymousreply 71July 19, 2025 8:49 PM

My 48-year-old son Jonathan hasn't gotten married yet. I guess he's just shy

by Anonymousreply 72July 19, 2025 8:52 PM

Get me my whiskey and Chesterfields.

by Anonymousreply 73July 19, 2025 8:59 PM

My grandmother wasn't a homophobe, she just didn't believe she knew any fairies.

by Anonymousreply 74July 19, 2025 9:11 PM

Father O'Brian can't be gay. He's a priest!

by Anonymousreply 75July 19, 2025 9:14 PM

Next you are going to tell me Liberace was gay!

by Anonymousreply 76July 19, 2025 9:26 PM

These remotes have too many goddamned BUTTONS on them! I just want to watch TV and it won’t let me!!!

by Anonymousreply 77July 19, 2025 9:45 PM

Although long dead, some relatives called their sofa a Chesterfield. Every other (great-)grandparent called it a Davenport or couch.

by Anonymousreply 78July 19, 2025 9:45 PM

Why don’t you come by? I’ll play the zither and you can whistle.

by Anonymousreply 79July 19, 2025 9:48 PM

Where did they get the sperm?

by Anonymousreply 80July 19, 2025 9:50 PM

"You PAID for jeans with tears in them?"

by Anonymousreply 81July 19, 2025 9:52 PM

Long dead great-aunt: "That Oriental lady on the news." (Connie Chung)

by Anonymousreply 82July 19, 2025 10:00 PM

"Liberace wasn't gay. He was just flamboyant!"

by Anonymousreply 83July 19, 2025 10:08 PM

“Fiddlesticks!”

by Anonymousreply 84July 19, 2025 10:10 PM

[quote]Although long dead, some relatives called their sofa a Chesterfield.

Chesterfield is still somewhat common in Canada.

by Anonymousreply 85July 19, 2025 10:26 PM

Filling Station for Gas Station

Sweeper for Vacuum Cleaner

Wop Burger for Hoagie Sandwich

Pavement ("Payment") for Sidewalk

by Anonymousreply 86July 19, 2025 10:52 PM

I vote in every election.

by Anonymousreply 87July 19, 2025 11:27 PM

"He/she is such a pill!" = asshole!

by Anonymousreply 88July 19, 2025 11:27 PM

"Well, isn't this nice."

by Anonymousreply 89July 19, 2025 11:34 PM

Oh fudge!

by Anonymousreply 90July 19, 2025 11:37 PM

Referring to movies as pictures.

by Anonymousreply 91July 19, 2025 11:48 PM

Roll down the window.

Sit on the davenport.

icebox instead of refrigerator

by Anonymousreply 92July 19, 2025 11:49 PM

Why are there so many different words for couch

by Anonymousreply 93July 20, 2025 12:17 AM

They go out of their way to call a man they know is gay, sir, especially in public settings.

by Anonymousreply 94July 20, 2025 12:27 AM

R38 I know old people are notorious for going somewhere and not taking they coat off and proudly exclaiming so. Yet staying for an hour or two. Aite get you old ass on now bitch, you claim you don’t like to drive at night. Or worse when you’ve drove them somewhere.

by Anonymousreply 95July 20, 2025 12:31 AM

Homosexual, especially to go out of their way to not offend.

by Anonymousreply 96July 20, 2025 12:32 AM

He's gone BANANAS.

by Anonymousreply 97July 20, 2025 12:34 AM

Anything that costs more than $5, "Highway Robbery!"

by Anonymousreply 98July 20, 2025 12:34 AM

“You heard that Louise’s daughter has” *lowers voice to a whisper* ”… cancer!”

by Anonymousreply 99July 20, 2025 12:35 AM

I didn’t protest and march for these thugs to drive around with that music blaring.

by Anonymousreply 100July 20, 2025 12:36 AM

[quote] Homosexual, especially to go out of their way to not offend.

The different pronunciations / accents were fun to notice. From "hamah-seck- shull" to "hoe-moe- secks-syew-ill"

by Anonymousreply 101July 20, 2025 12:39 AM

[quote]The different pronunciations / accents were fun to notice. From "hamah-seck- shull" to "hoe-moe- secks-syew-ill"

We make it really easy in Boston and just call them FAGS.

by Anonymousreply 102July 20, 2025 2:21 AM

Old people also don't mind the "drop in." When I was a little kid I remember people showing up at my Grandparents' house without a call or anything all the time.

by Anonymousreply 103July 20, 2025 2:52 AM

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I'd buy you furniture for your house

Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a K-Car

A nice reliant automobile

And if I had a million dollars

I'd buy your love

by Anonymousreply 104July 20, 2025 3:14 AM

This is the first time I’ve ever been to something like that.

by Anonymousreply 105July 20, 2025 4:00 AM

R103, my grandmother would show up at our house unannounced and wouldn't even knock. She'd just open the door and shout "Knock-knock!"

by Anonymousreply 106July 20, 2025 4:19 AM

My grandfather was a cardiologist & a farmer. He always referred to an injection with a hypodermic needle as a "puncture". My mother always called it that, and yes, I have always referred to the same way.

by Anonymousreply 107July 20, 2025 12:04 PM

Old people cannot leave a room without turning all the lights out, even the kitchen when we’re going to be back in there in five minutes. Because of the depression? World War 2? I never figured it out, and this was at our house so the light bill wasn’t the issue.

by Anonymousreply 108July 20, 2025 12:51 PM

QE2 did the same thing, R108. Not only that, it was a 40 watt bulb in a huge palace room she was turning off.

by Anonymousreply 109July 20, 2025 1:10 PM

I live alone, so I turn off the lights when I leave a room. Even when I know I'll be back in a few minutes. If no one is there to see the light, why leave it on?

It's a good habit to have.

by Anonymousreply 110July 20, 2025 1:40 PM

Saaaaay! I oughtta POUND you!

by Anonymousreply 111July 20, 2025 1:43 PM

You missed the point, not everyone lives alone, R110. And I’m talking about a family house with six people in it.

by Anonymousreply 112July 20, 2025 1:50 PM

[quote] These remotes have too many goddamned BUTTONS on them! I just want to watch TV and it won’t let me!!!

Fuck, I say that and I'm 53. Or it doesn't have ENOUGH buttons on it -- looking at you, stupid Apple remote.

by Anonymousreply 113July 20, 2025 1:51 PM

In front of everyone as I leave the bathroom, "Do you have your period? I think I still have some tampons here somewhere."

by Anonymousreply 114July 20, 2025 2:01 PM

Why didn't that nice Richard Chamberlain ever find the right girl?

by Anonymousreply 115July 20, 2025 2:31 PM

"Aren't you having any dinner with us?" at 4:45.

by Anonymousreply 116July 20, 2025 2:57 PM

You're getting pudgy.

by Anonymousreply 117July 20, 2025 3:17 PM

You light turner offers should do what I did. Invest in automatic motion detector light switches. I paid about $8 each for light switches that turn on as soon as I enter a room (as long as the natural ambient lighting is low enough), and turn off 20 seconds after I leave the room.

by Anonymousreply 118July 20, 2025 3:25 PM

Oh, you're such a card!

by Anonymousreply 119July 20, 2025 4:02 PM

You’re gonna get Slapped

by Anonymousreply 120July 20, 2025 4:19 PM

You need to be careful. You don't want to catch a social disease.

by Anonymousreply 121July 20, 2025 4:20 PM

I’m so old, I’m more liberal than my FAT daughter.

by Anonymousreply 122July 20, 2025 4:24 PM

They obsess on everyone’s HAIR. Hairstyles.

by Anonymousreply 123July 20, 2025 4:58 PM

You're the cat's meow; truly the bee's knees.

by Anonymousreply 124July 20, 2025 5:11 PM

“Looks like more rain in Seattle tomorrow. Good thing we live in Phoenix!”

by Anonymousreply 125July 20, 2025 5:50 PM

[quote]Old people cannot leave a room without turning all the lights out, even the kitchen when we’re going to be back in there in five minutes. Because of the depression? World War 2? I never figured it out, and this was at our house so the light bill wasn’t the issue.

I remember growing up during the energy crisis when my parents wouldn't turn on the heat & tried to heat our house with a wood stove (it didn't work). So I'm very mindful about turning off lights when I'm not in the room. It's a small thing, but it just seems wasteful

by Anonymousreply 126July 20, 2025 5:58 PM

Generational conflict usually happens when the generations don't talk with each other. What remains then is just the perpetuation of stereotypes about the other generation. Here is a link that explains (a bit too briefly) how to improve things, if people actually want to improve the relationships.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 127July 20, 2025 6:04 PM

R127: God help us. Here’s one more reason HR is considered a joke.

Seven steps to resolving a problem you haven’t defined and each step must start with the letter “A.”

by Anonymousreply 128July 20, 2025 6:11 PM

Generations need to slap

by Anonymousreply 129July 20, 2025 6:28 PM

Any “bad” illness gets whispered. She’s got *whisper* cancer. This is my favorite one, She’s having *whisper* female trouble. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I learned what female trouble meant. I guess it could have meant lesbian drama, but Grandma would have said about anything gay related *whisper* they go with each other or they’re that way.

by Anonymousreply 130July 20, 2025 6:36 PM

[quote] I live alone, so I turn off the lights when I leave a room. Even when I know I'll be back in a few minutes. If no one is there to see the light, why leave it on?

I've read that it actually takes more juice to reactivate the light than to leave it on. Anyone else ever heard this?

by Anonymousreply 131July 20, 2025 6:42 PM

I have the sugars.

by Anonymousreply 132July 20, 2025 6:46 PM

It's colder than a witches tit.

by Anonymousreply 133July 20, 2025 7:06 PM

I'm dying.

by Anonymousreply 134July 20, 2025 7:08 PM

Anyone born after 1975 is not functioning right and doesn't have the sense to know it.

by Anonymousreply 135July 20, 2025 7:11 PM

Oh, Rosemary? She was sent to a special camp in Vermont for the mentally retarded.

by Anonymousreply 136July 20, 2025 7:34 PM

my grandmother to my sister: Diane you had better put a kerchief on, it windy out and might rain. My put one in and started to dance around the kitchen and we all were laughing hysterically. My gram was serious at first, but then realized no one wears kerchiefs anymore.

by Anonymousreply 137July 20, 2025 7:41 PM

[quote]In front of everyone as I leave the bathroom, "Do you have your period? I think I still have some tampons here somewhere."

Especially embarrassing since you're a 60-year-old man.

by Anonymousreply 138July 20, 2025 7:55 PM

Really, has anyone actually heard what R124 said outside of old movies?

by Anonymousreply 139July 20, 2025 7:56 PM

r114 was your aunt Jessica Walter in The Slums of Beverly Hills?

by Anonymousreply 140July 20, 2025 8:06 PM

lol R138.

46 year old woman.

by Anonymousreply 141July 20, 2025 8:07 PM

R140, No but she could be. She has dementia now and she will come live with me. I can't wait to hear the things she's going to say. She's still very lucid and naughty though.

by Anonymousreply 142July 20, 2025 8:10 PM

Btw, I’m 69 years old and remembering shit my grandparents said in 1965.

by Anonymousreply 143July 20, 2025 8:40 PM

"Well, bless your heart". Said either after someone says or does something very stupid, or when someone reveals an embarrassing thing that happened to them.

by Anonymousreply 144July 20, 2025 8:45 PM

I was born in the American Middle West in 1930's and raised by my grandparents, who were born in England the 1880's.

by Anonymousreply 145July 20, 2025 8:48 PM

You need a good Jew lawyer.

by Anonymousreply 146July 20, 2025 9:02 PM

Slacks.

by Anonymousreply 147July 20, 2025 9:10 PM

Can you believe she wore that long stringy hair to the funeral?

by Anonymousreply 148July 20, 2025 9:13 PM

I can never use these debit card machines. They're all so different! And why do they make the screen so tiny?

by Anonymousreply 149July 20, 2025 9:13 PM

Eleanor Roosevelt was a rug muncher

by Anonymousreply 150July 20, 2025 9:17 PM

"Mah pussay does not ever stink."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 151July 20, 2025 9:28 PM

Do you still see the girl with that exotic name?

by Anonymousreply 152July 20, 2025 9:32 PM

Saaay! What's the big idea??

by Anonymousreply 153July 20, 2025 9:36 PM

Watch your language, we're in mixed company.

Do you have a fella?/Are you running around with anyone?

The two of them look like Mutt and Jeff.

by Anonymousreply 154July 20, 2025 9:47 PM

What my greatest generation Dad said, anxiously, when mom invited the new neighbors over, an out gay couple (1978).

"Is this what they call a lifestyle?"

My friend's mom, born 1926 giving career advice to her daughter... "just get under a good man and work your way up".

by Anonymousreply 155July 20, 2025 9:58 PM

Slacks isn’t said anymore?

R139 my Dad had an antique store called the cat’s meow back in the 70’s.

by Anonymousreply 156July 20, 2025 10:00 PM

"Eenie, meanie, miney mo, catch a" - I'm going to stop you right there Grandma. That's NOT how it goes anymore!

Even at 6, I was appalled.

It's TIGER.

by Anonymousreply 157July 20, 2025 10:32 PM

My buddy, Mr. Green Gene, always had the best stash on campus. We'd do a couple joints, take quaaludes, and head over to the field where the hippie girls were doing naked yoga.

by Anonymousreply 158July 20, 2025 10:51 PM

Yeah, Frick and Frack over here!

by Anonymousreply 159July 20, 2025 11:27 PM

My elderly Jewish great grandmother didn't like Barbra Streisand. "Too Jewish," she said.

by Anonymousreply 160July 20, 2025 11:41 PM

"What's this bippity boppity music you're listening to these days?"

by Anonymousreply 161July 20, 2025 11:55 PM

I had an uncle who was born in 1922. I recall him referring to someone (in the 1970s) as being "all hopped up on that wacky-tabacky!"

by Anonymousreply 162July 21, 2025 12:13 AM

Hot diggity dog!

by Anonymousreply 163July 21, 2025 12:14 AM

In response to a factual statement, 'yeah, I don't know about that'.

by Anonymousreply 164July 21, 2025 12:26 AM

I got soft banned from DL.

by Anonymousreply 165July 21, 2025 12:47 AM

"Why, the very idea........" Joseph R Biden

"Everything's computer!" Sad, pathetic current White House squatter...

by Anonymousreply 166July 21, 2025 12:55 AM

R166 That's malarkey, Jack!

by Anonymousreply 167July 21, 2025 1:19 AM

No more Malarkey!

by Anonymousreply 168July 21, 2025 1:47 AM

She's built like a brick shithouse. (highest compliment my great-aunt could pay a woman.)

by Anonymousreply 169July 21, 2025 2:04 AM

R17 Every good thing I am today is because I watched stories with our black housekeeper. I can still hear her say, "My afternoon story be coming on at 3." Meaning don't mess with me, the house, or make any trouble. She would iron, and I would ask a million questions. She never minded and had an encyclopedic memory of every character and plot twist. Morning story was The Guiding Light. Afternoons it was Edge of Night.

by Anonymousreply 170July 21, 2025 2:09 AM

When negotiating: “Make sure you Jew them down”.

by Anonymousreply 171July 21, 2025 2:42 AM

Jew York City

by Anonymousreply 172July 21, 2025 2:44 AM

Dungarees (instead of jeans)

Clam diggers (instead of capris)

by Anonymousreply 173July 21, 2025 3:18 AM

My mom calls CDs “tapes”.

by Anonymousreply 174July 21, 2025 5:36 AM

R174 my aunt the same. Doesn’t matter if it’s a CD, a DVD, a VHS, a Blu-Ray, streaming, etc — it’s all a tape.

by Anonymousreply 175July 21, 2025 5:42 AM

R175 I bet things get very confusing around Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 176July 21, 2025 5:53 AM

When something was going wrong or turning out badly my dad (1933 - 2022) would loudly declaim "Well, THIS is a total abortion!"

by Anonymousreply 177July 21, 2025 6:07 AM

Whenever I made a "wisecrack" my grandpa (1912 - 2003) would say "You're funny; but looks aren't everything."

by Anonymousreply 178July 21, 2025 6:22 AM

A great-uncle once asked me if I was "courting." He was nice and meant well - so I didn't reply, "No. I don't live in a Jane Austen novel, and I'm queer."

by Anonymousreply 179July 21, 2025 6:30 AM

You’re a real stinker!

by Anonymousreply 180July 21, 2025 6:38 AM

“Go peddle your papers” was the soft way of saying “Get the fuck out of here”

by Anonymousreply 181July 21, 2025 10:51 AM

"There's a storm coming, we have to go to the basement and pray. God is angry."

by Anonymousreply 182July 21, 2025 12:29 PM

My mother: SHIT!

by Anonymousreply 183July 21, 2025 1:24 PM

Go play in traffic!

by Anonymousreply 184July 21, 2025 2:25 PM

"I'm not made of money!"

I don't know if people still say that but my late father did. He would be 94 today.

by Anonymousreply 185July 21, 2025 4:23 PM

My great aunt would say, “You’re so curious!” meaning that someone was particular or odd. Never heard anyone else use the word curious like that.

by Anonymousreply 186July 21, 2025 4:58 PM

Stop repeating yourself- You sound like a broken phonograph record.

My father used to say this to me.

by Anonymousreply 187July 21, 2025 5:02 PM

"Say, I'm working this side of the street!"

by Anonymousreply 188July 21, 2025 5:05 PM

My grandmother called all refrigerators

Frigidaires

by Anonymousreply 189July 21, 2025 5:06 PM

R146 is Archie Bunker

by Anonymousreply 190July 21, 2025 5:08 PM

Not scared to fat shame

by Anonymousreply 191July 21, 2025 5:14 PM

It's midnight. Wordle is up.

by Anonymousreply 192July 21, 2025 5:24 PM

Proper undergarments are a necessity. They make or break the look of your clothes.

by Anonymousreply 193July 21, 2025 5:27 PM

If I had a nose like Florine's I wouldn't be going around wishing anyone a merry Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 194July 21, 2025 5:33 PM

“ that girl has muscles!”

by Anonymousreply 195July 21, 2025 5:45 PM

The New Deal saved this country.

by Anonymousreply 196July 21, 2025 5:53 PM

Fur coat and no knickers (rich, stupid, slept her way up, a tart)

Mutton dressed as lamb (old slag trying too hard, a tart)

by Anonymousreply 197July 21, 2025 10:12 PM

As long as you have a book, there's no reason to watch TV.

by Anonymousreply 198July 21, 2025 11:44 PM

Why don’t you go sit in the frunchroom?

by Anonymousreply 199July 21, 2025 11:47 PM

"Do you still have that Farrah Fawcett poster on your bedroom wall?"

by Anonymousreply 200July 21, 2025 11:53 PM

I forgot my hearing aids.

by Anonymousreply 201July 22, 2025 12:20 AM

“Nice pins” = great legs

“Shattered” = blind drunk

“A night on the tiles” = a night out: dinner, drinking, and dancing, the tiles being the dance floor

“His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top” = not very bright

by Anonymousreply 202July 22, 2025 12:22 AM

When I don't want to answer a question I say "I don't remember, I'm old."

by Anonymousreply 203July 22, 2025 12:26 AM

R197, are you the one who starts all of those British threads nobody cares about?

by Anonymousreply 204July 22, 2025 1:05 AM

I'm on a FIXED INCOME!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 205July 22, 2025 1:54 AM

Many of you bitches deserve a time-out, "for wasting bandwidth."

by Anonymousreply 206July 22, 2025 1:59 AM

Calling their soap operas their "stories".

by Anonymousreply 207July 22, 2025 2:21 AM

Your eyes look like two piss holes in a snow bank. (A family friend, from New England, said this.)

by Anonymousreply 208July 22, 2025 2:22 AM

He's a confirmed bachelor.

by Anonymousreply 209July 22, 2025 2:28 AM

Bedfast; and old fashioned term for "bedridden."

by Anonymousreply 210July 22, 2025 2:31 AM

Her daughter got with a Black fella, you know, so her baby came out a little beige. And I said "Hey, whaddya know!"

There's so much of that these days. "Mullatta," it's supposed to be called.

by Anonymousreply 211July 22, 2025 2:35 AM

Regarding marijuana, I always called it "pot". I didn't realize the term is outdated - it's called "weed".

by Anonymousreply 212July 22, 2025 2:36 AM

"How does she like her coffee?"

Stong and black.

by Anonymousreply 213July 22, 2025 2:36 AM

No one was allowed to interrupt my great aunt Clara, during her story (soap operas.) I think it was "Search for Tomorrow" which began at 1pm. We were NEVER allowed to call her at that time.

by Anonymousreply 214July 22, 2025 2:55 AM

Things your racist, homophobic elderly relatives said 30 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 215July 22, 2025 5:35 AM

R215 Exactly.

And, considering this is DL, I'm sure at least half the people on here are over 60...so it really should be "things WE old people like to say".

by Anonymousreply 216July 22, 2025 6:26 AM

Here, I'll do one now for "Things Old People NOW Say, Especially on DL"

"Well, I'm barely 60, but I easily pass for early 40s!"

by Anonymousreply 217July 22, 2025 6:28 AM

Knee high to a grasshopper

by Anonymousreply 218July 22, 2025 12:23 PM

Gee another thread making fun of the old. Isn’t it fun to dehumanize people? It’s American as apple pie and of course part of MAGA culture. Trump does it every day!

by Anonymousreply 219July 22, 2025 12:30 PM

Should I take an Aleve for my back or just tough it out with a couple of aspirin?

Where did this damn cough come from? Is it connected to the poor air quality we've been having?

by Anonymousreply 220July 22, 2025 1:32 PM

[quote]Regarding marijuana, I always called it "pot". I didn't realize the term is outdated - it's called "weed".

Me too, and it's very confusing when reading British books where they refer to "pot plants" ... which I eventually figured out meant what we call POTTED plants, not (necessarily) marijuana.

by Anonymousreply 221July 22, 2025 2:07 PM

"Were you ever bedridden?"

"Twice. And once in a buggy."

by Anonymousreply 222July 22, 2025 2:42 PM

Thank God, it's not Covid.

by Anonymousreply 223July 22, 2025 6:12 PM

My lumbago is acting up.

by Anonymousreply 224July 22, 2025 6:15 PM

Go get me some Poli-grip and Juicy Fruit.

by Anonymousreply 225July 22, 2025 6:16 PM

I need some Geritol.

by Anonymousreply 226July 22, 2025 6:24 PM

Of course we're still making fun of the elderly. It's a universal pastime!

by Anonymousreply 227July 22, 2025 6:25 PM

It’s on the QT

by Anonymousreply 228July 22, 2025 6:27 PM

I’ve been using QT for years

by Anonymousreply 229July 22, 2025 6:28 PM

R229 Me too! They have great gas and clean stores!

by Anonymousreply 230July 22, 2025 6:28 PM

"Wouldn't it be great to live in Florida full-time?"

For the life of me, I don't understand the strangle-hold that state has on retirees. Flat, humid AF, hot, terrible drivers, hurricanes, bugs, alligators - how in the world did this place define paradise?

by Anonymousreply 231July 22, 2025 6:29 PM

R231 It’s warm. That’s it. The other warm places are worse.

by Anonymousreply 232July 22, 2025 7:00 PM

"Everything was a lot cheaper back in the olden days. I bought my house for a nickel!"

by Anonymousreply 233July 22, 2025 7:01 PM

I'm a senior citizen. My parents bought their first house in 1947 for $9 thousand. It's worth well over a hundred times that now.

by Anonymousreply 234July 22, 2025 7:11 PM

R234 LIAR! They bought it for a nickel!

by Anonymousreply 235July 22, 2025 8:11 PM

Gimme a rubber band sandwich and make it snappy.

by Anonymousreply 236July 22, 2025 8:20 PM

Mail them your resume and make sure to include a nice note.

by Anonymousreply 237July 22, 2025 8:20 PM

I’ve been to ten county fairs and halfway around the word on a battleship. I know what I’m talking about, dammit.

by Anonymousreply 238July 22, 2025 8:22 PM

The civil rights movement is a battle for America's soul. We have an obligation to support it, said my father in 1964.

Not everyone was a bigot or asshole.

by Anonymousreply 239July 22, 2025 9:05 PM

R219 I think most of the responses are warm hearted.

Language changes over time. It isn’t good or bad, it just is and it is a universal human experience.

Personally, this type of thread brings back memories of my beloved grandparents, kind thoughts of my parents and amusing thoughts of all of the old timey words and phrases I’ve carried over from my own childhood.

by Anonymousreply 240July 22, 2025 9:29 PM

Most of the responses on here are cliches from 50+ years ago which indicates the people making them are they themselves on the old side.

It's almost as ludicrous as how TV and film used to portray old people on TV with old women ALWAYS wearing lacy collars with a cameo brooch. And, hat and gloves for church even though that pretty much died out in the 60s (except maybe for Easter...and of course black churches still dress up.) Or, always wearing long sleeves and sweater...even in Miami!!!

Old ladies in Florida mostly wear sleeveless tops...because it's in the sub tropics!!!!

by Anonymousreply 241July 22, 2025 10:31 PM

r241 some of these things are words/phrases my elderly relatives said in the 1990s.

by Anonymousreply 242July 22, 2025 10:50 PM

"Act like a lady and you will be treated like a lady. "

by Anonymousreply 243July 22, 2025 11:31 PM

R240, R219 is a delicate creature new to the Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 244July 22, 2025 11:32 PM

R235 FOR A NICKEL, I WILL!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 245July 23, 2025 12:45 AM

Calling pants "slacks" or "trousers" or "dungarees."

by Anonymousreply 246July 23, 2025 1:17 AM

After a nice meal, my grandma would say, “That was some kind of good.”

I left my Walkman on the kitchen table and she wouldn’t pick it up to move it. She called it “that thing.” She also called the fridge an icebox, the toilet the commode and she gave biblical names to the neighborhood cats.

My other grandmother, who went for the Italian Elizabeth Taylor vibe, used to make fun of the woman down the street. “She doesn’t go out that much. You know, I wouldn’t go out much either if I were that homely.”

by Anonymousreply 247July 23, 2025 1:36 AM

Are you plugged in? (Asking if I was using the Walkman)

by Anonymousreply 248July 23, 2025 1:48 AM

r246 I think "trousers" is the default term in the UK. "Pants" means underwear there.

by Anonymousreply 249July 23, 2025 4:16 AM

A word that I can’t stand: supper

by Anonymousreply 250July 23, 2025 4:47 AM

Cattywampus

by Anonymousreply 251July 23, 2025 4:48 AM

Time for din-din.

by Anonymousreply 252July 23, 2025 9:56 AM

When my grandfather would see a topless woman in a movie he would say "she has nice lumps on her back."

by Anonymousreply 253July 23, 2025 2:14 PM

R241 - One of the ironies of life is that you yourself often forget just how old you are. When she was in her early 60s (the age I am now), I remember my mother telling me "Half the time I still think I'm 34, with little kids in school." She's now almost 90 still sharp, and completely independent - much of that is very good genes, but not letting your age define you mentally is important too.

by Anonymousreply 254July 23, 2025 6:51 PM

R254 - my mother said the very same thing. "I feel like a person in my 30s, until I look in the mirror"

by Anonymousreply 255July 23, 2025 6:53 PM

It's weird being the same age as old people.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 256July 23, 2025 7:17 PM

My mother once said she feels like a hippo that escaped from the zoo and then took a nap on a gravel driveway.

by Anonymousreply 257July 23, 2025 8:51 PM

When my grandmother's hair got messed up from being outside on a windy day she'd say "I look like a wild woman of Borneo."

by Anonymousreply 258July 23, 2025 9:35 PM

R256 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!!!

by Anonymousreply 259July 23, 2025 9:40 PM

R257 Is your mother really that fat?

by Anonymousreply 260July 23, 2025 9:41 PM

"Are you sure there isn't a window open somewhere? I can still feel a draft."

by Anonymousreply 261July 23, 2025 9:46 PM

“I think I smell a wood burning fire”

My mother every time my b-i-l lit a joint somewhere (outside if she was inside, inside if she was outside, in the garage when she was in the house, etc) he thought she wouldn’t notice the smoke. She always did.

by Anonymousreply 262July 24, 2025 12:03 AM

Things to say to old people.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 263July 24, 2025 12:33 AM

“If you millennials wouldn’t eat so much avocado toast, you’d be able to buy a house.”

by Anonymousreply 264July 24, 2025 12:35 AM

I'm turning off the television. It's dinnertime.

by Anonymousreply 265July 24, 2025 2:29 AM

"I don't approve of this Martin Luther COON Day"

by Anonymousreply 266July 24, 2025 4:40 AM

What?

Huh?

What did you say?

Stop mumbling!

by Anonymousreply 267July 24, 2025 4:51 AM

This looks bomb dot com.

by Anonymousreply 268July 24, 2025 6:05 AM

She's pretty for a colored girl.

by Anonymousreply 269July 24, 2025 6:15 AM

"You should add some Javelle water to the washer to keep your whites from looking dingy."

by Anonymousreply 270July 24, 2025 8:30 AM

“Working hard or hardly working?”

by Anonymousreply 271July 24, 2025 8:58 AM

"Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am NOT a crackpot."

by Anonymousreply 272July 24, 2025 10:57 AM

"I can remember {whatever} used to cost {$____}!"

by Anonymousreply 273July 24, 2025 1:17 PM

"You actually like you're the king, and we're the sorry people!"

by Anonymousreply 274July 26, 2025 1:55 AM

Fuck AUTOCORRECT!!

Try that again:

"You act like you're the king, and we're the sorry people."

by Anonymousreply 275July 26, 2025 1:57 AM

Don't go out without your rubbers!

by Anonymousreply 276July 26, 2025 3:45 PM

Snooze you lose!

by Anonymousreply 277July 26, 2025 3:49 PM

How can you sleep until noon? You’re as lazy as the days are long.

by Anonymousreply 278July 26, 2025 5:43 PM

my elderly aunts: "does he sit down to pee too?"

by Anonymousreply 279July 26, 2025 11:33 PM

What’s the backstory behind that question, R279?

by Anonymousreply 280July 27, 2025 12:17 AM

Slap my face and call my ass a communist

by Anonymousreply 281July 27, 2025 1:04 AM

You sure don't hear anyone complaining about their piles these days.

by Anonymousreply 282July 27, 2025 1:13 AM

R280 Sex roles: men stood to pee and sat to shit. To sit to pee was not masculine and in the example, an imputation of homosexuality.

by Anonymousreply 283July 27, 2025 7:55 AM

"This food is too spicy."

by Anonymousreply 284July 27, 2025 8:48 AM

Slacks.

by Anonymousreply 285July 27, 2025 10:17 AM

His tattoos spoil it for me.

by Anonymousreply 286July 27, 2025 11:41 AM

Only fairies wear their hair long

by Anonymousreply 287July 27, 2025 1:38 PM

I was on the phone with the widow of an old friend a few days ago. I order her groceries for delivery as she's unable to use her PC well due to a stroke. After we'd finished her grocery order the subject got off on medications we take. We spent the next 15 minutes going over all our daily medications. I finally said "do you realize how damn old we sound?". She said "well, we are old". LOL

by Anonymousreply 288July 27, 2025 2:22 PM

Phone rings.

Old person picks up: Hi. Hold on a sec. Let me turn down the radio.

by Anonymousreply 289July 27, 2025 3:25 PM

R186, I still use curious like that. (Also, of course, the other way too.)

by Anonymousreply 290July 27, 2025 3:28 PM

Shut the door! You'll catch your death of a cold!

by Anonymousreply 291July 27, 2025 3:39 PM

[quote]Hold on a sec. Let me turn down the radio.

On the plus side, you didn't say 'wireless.'

by Anonymousreply 292July 27, 2025 4:37 PM

My dad called it the "hi fi."

by Anonymousreply 293July 27, 2025 5:00 PM

“Don’t go out with your hair wet! You’ll catch peumonia!”

by Anonymousreply 294July 27, 2025 5:04 PM

The wringer on my worsher broke.

by Anonymousreply 295July 27, 2025 5:04 PM

[quote]My dad called it the "hi fi."

Calling it the hi-fi years after anyone else used that term was a step up for my father. He previously called it "the Victrola."

by Anonymousreply 296July 27, 2025 10:51 PM

"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist - But he is NOT a porn star!"

by Anonymousreply 297July 27, 2025 11:37 PM

Slacks deserves another mention.

by Anonymousreply 298July 28, 2025 1:02 AM

Put on your snazzy duds! I'm taking you somewhere nice!

by Anonymousreply 299July 28, 2025 1:44 AM

I see you’re wearing those old clodhoppers.

by Anonymousreply 300July 28, 2025 1:51 AM

Music today is too loud.

by Anonymousreply 301July 28, 2025 2:08 AM

Do you have any of those Karen Carpenter CDs?

by Anonymousreply 302July 28, 2025 2:11 AM

Love your Safari jacket and shorts!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 303July 28, 2025 4:20 AM

Making the Sign of the Cross whilst intoning: “Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, and Watch.”

Also from my Uncle Pete, a very big man with a very big appetite who’d push himself back from the table after a huge holiday meal and say, “That’ll hold me until I get to a diner.” I couldn’t figure out how he got behind the wheel of his car and steered (there were no tilt steering wheels then) because was so fat.

by Anonymousreply 304July 28, 2025 10:57 AM

Said by old me many times of late.

"That's not music, that's noise".

by Anonymousreply 305July 28, 2025 11:55 AM

"That's not music, that's n----r noise."

by Anonymousreply 306July 28, 2025 12:05 PM

"You'll never have to regret an unspoken word."

I do think there are exceptions to that if, in hindsight, you could have, but didn't, say something kind and nice to someone.

by Anonymousreply 307July 28, 2025 12:14 PM

"Gracious sakes alive!" - Said whenever bad news was shared

"You caught a cold because you weren't wearing an undershirt." You could NOT convince my mother that colds came from germs. It was either the missing undershirt or you went outside with your hair wet.

"I grew up on a farm and I know where babies come from. I won't have my cat (female) fixed. She goes outside but I keep an eye on her." The cat my grandmother was 'watching' was a whore, darlin. She'd routinely have a ittter of 8 or 9 kittens that my grandmother would take care of.

by Anonymousreply 308July 28, 2025 1:10 PM

Old southern women say "well I swan" to express surprise at something they've heard.

by Anonymousreply 309July 28, 2025 5:12 PM

Genteel old Southern ladies say "I swan" instead of "I swear."

by Anonymousreply 310July 28, 2025 5:17 PM

Wear a condom.

by Anonymousreply 311July 28, 2025 5:31 PM

A closed mouth catches no flies

by Anonymousreply 312July 28, 2025 5:40 PM

I just set my hair...

by Anonymousreply 313July 28, 2025 5:44 PM

“He wouldn’t tell you if your hair was on fire.”

There’s another version, but this was the way my Dad said it.

by Anonymousreply 314July 28, 2025 7:01 PM

Wear a RUBBER

by Anonymousreply 315July 28, 2025 8:29 PM

Toss it in the ash can.

by Anonymousreply 316July 28, 2025 9:18 PM

You get mores flies with honey than vinegar.

by Anonymousreply 317July 28, 2025 9:19 PM

Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're dumb, than to open it and prove it to them.

by Anonymousreply 318July 28, 2025 9:32 PM

Better to be last and right than first and wrong.

by Anonymousreply 319July 28, 2025 10:23 PM

I just about jumped off my carpet!

Banjoes, please!!!!

I wouldn’t fart in his direction!

by Anonymousreply 320July 28, 2025 11:31 PM

My girdle is killing me

by Anonymousreply 321July 28, 2025 11:38 PM

"I look like the inside of a goat's stomach"

- Me but stealing a line from Carol Burnett portraying Starlett O'Hara in their spoof of Gone With The Wind

by Anonymousreply 322July 28, 2025 11:42 PM

Take the Town Car to the chemist’s and get me some Tucks pads and a styptic pencil.

by Anonymousreply 323July 28, 2025 11:55 PM

Why do people want to eat my excrement?

by Anonymousreply 324July 29, 2025 12:01 AM

She has a pretty face. (Meaning she's fat.)

She has a great personality. (Meaning she's ugly and dull.)

by Anonymousreply 325July 29, 2025 12:25 AM

She looks like 9 miles of bad road.

She's ugly as a mud fence.

by Anonymousreply 326July 29, 2025 12:28 AM

He’s very distinguished (meaning he’s an old fug)

by Anonymousreply 327July 29, 2025 1:00 AM

My clutch is going out.

by Anonymousreply 328July 29, 2025 2:23 PM

I can’t eat corn on the cob

by Anonymousreply 329July 29, 2025 3:32 PM

Mom: "Back in my day, teenagers respected their parents."

Me at 15: "Well not me so fuck off bitch!"

by Anonymousreply 330July 29, 2025 10:54 PM

Where the hell are my teeth!!

by Anonymousreply 331July 29, 2025 11:48 PM

"Everything hurts."

by Anonymousreply 332July 29, 2025 11:56 PM

"Get out of my way! I gotta get home to see what's a'happen' on the old Data Lounge! I bet those cunts are bitching about somethin' good like Vivian Vance or Cheryl's stinky cunt!"

by Anonymousreply 333July 30, 2025 6:43 AM

Good God, her breath would blister a brick.

Damn, his breath would make an onion cry,

He's got a face like the north end of a south bound mule.

That child is so nasty he'd gag a maggot on a gut truck.

by Anonymousreply 334July 30, 2025 12:19 PM

A homely woman was "uglier than a dog's ass."

by Anonymousreply 335July 30, 2025 12:30 PM

Another one I just remembered that my grandfather would say - when we were out somewhere and he saw a homely woman he'd say "looks like the kennel club's in town."

by Anonymousreply 336July 30, 2025 12:33 PM

It's raining cats and dogs outside.

by Anonymousreply 337July 30, 2025 1:32 PM

I'm dating Martin Short

by Anonymousreply 338July 30, 2025 2:21 PM

I can smell your nappy pussy.

by Anonymousreply 339July 30, 2025 3:46 PM

I'm hungry enough to eat the ass end out of a rag doll.

by Anonymousreply 340July 30, 2025 4:16 PM

I enjoy scrolling on the DataLounge.

by Anonymousreply 341July 30, 2025 4:33 PM

Hand me the Thomas Guide.

by Anonymousreply 342July 30, 2025 4:39 PM

Where are my legwarmers?

by Anonymousreply 343July 30, 2025 4:41 PM

Hand me the Sears and Roebuck catalog

by Anonymousreply 344July 30, 2025 7:35 PM

He thinks his shit don't smell

by Anonymousreply 345July 30, 2025 7:37 PM

Hand me the TV GUIDE so I can see what's on tonight!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 346July 30, 2025 8:27 PM

Are you using protection?

by Anonymousreply 347July 30, 2025 11:59 PM

Did you tape the news?

by Anonymousreply 348July 31, 2025 12:11 AM

An old whore was nothing but a former young whore.

by Anonymousreply 349July 31, 2025 12:20 AM

In my day, we voted for pedophiles to get lower taxes. Yeah, it’s called personal responsibility. That’s what you do when you love your country.

by Anonymousreply 350July 31, 2025 1:04 AM

E-I-E-I-O

by Anonymousreply 351July 31, 2025 1:31 AM

R337, is that no longer said? I’ve been known to say it on occasion.

by Anonymousreply 352July 31, 2025 2:32 AM

Well I’m 69. Here goes.

“Don’t bogart that joint”

“More money than brains”

“I’m going to the can(restroom)”

“And don’t call me Shirley”

“Stay Woke brother and don’t let the Man get you”

“I’m on my way to the pad to get high and righteous”

“Can you dig it I knew that you could”

“Hey space cadet do me a solid” “why don’t cha”

“Catch me on the flip” “Dude what a bummer”

I still say this shit.😎

by Anonymousreply 353July 31, 2025 5:51 AM

I saw it on Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 354July 31, 2025 7:33 AM

I ordered it from Lillian Vernon!

by Anonymousreply 355July 31, 2025 8:05 AM

R353 I can dig what you are laying down.

by Anonymousreply 356July 31, 2025 9:48 AM

Suicide.

by Anonymousreply 357July 31, 2025 10:09 AM

I never believed to stop believing. I bristled a bit about the fucking Lord's Prayer in school, my sister-in-law agreed and explained that she was an atheist. Later, by age 10 or 11 I had seen a TV interview with Madalyn Murray O'Hair and for a few years was a bit uppity about being an atheist and speaking out against anything that forced a religious perspective upon things.

My father almost certainly never saw the interior of a church unless it was a wedding. My mother's family had helped finance Methodism in the U.S. in the18thC, but she was on again and off again about church services. It was a place to trot out some new clothes or make herself useful by ferrying various old women about, purely a social thing. When I told my parents I was an atheist I had to attend one church service. My father and I sat and ate one or maybe two rolls of Lifesaver candies and giggled and fidgeted, then my father made blasphemous and funny various churchisms on the drive home and we never talked about it again.

I dropped my very mild case of atheist activism soon enough. In college, away from a hick town, religion is usually something that people are from, and which many have parted ways. After that I never met very many religious sorts. Ex-priests in plenitude, yes, actively religious people, no.

Zealots think that not believing is something difficult, but it's the easiest thing in the world. It's like not believing that you were reincarnated of a refrigerator in another life. It doesn't take much time out of the day.

by Anonymousreply 358July 31, 2025 4:23 PM

This:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 359July 31, 2025 4:44 PM

R358 = Things Old People Say in the wrong thread.

by Anonymousreply 360July 31, 2025 4:46 PM

"Why can't we say Oriental anymore?"

by Anonymousreply 361July 31, 2025 4:46 PM

I paid off my student loan in ten years. It meant having a roommate and taking no vacations and having a second job but I did it.

by Anonymousreply 362July 31, 2025 5:16 PM

Your fucking student loan was $10,000. You can fuck right off to hell in a handbasket.

by Anonymousreply 363July 31, 2025 5:27 PM

Better still, you could still lose them in a bankruptcy proceeding back then.

Pay it off in zero years.

by Anonymousreply 364July 31, 2025 5:30 PM

It was 80,000. Please do to yourself what you just advised me to do

by Anonymousreply 365July 31, 2025 5:56 PM

I paid off my loan in 1996--not dischargeable in bankruptcy. Keep making excuses.

by Anonymousreply 366July 31, 2025 6:04 PM

Only $80,000?

by Anonymousreply 367July 31, 2025 6:05 PM

It was enough for me.

by Anonymousreply 368July 31, 2025 6:07 PM

[quote]It meant having a roommate and taking no vacations and having a second job but I did it.

No thank you, I prefer to live like a white person.

by Anonymousreply 369July 31, 2025 6:12 PM

Good example of a racist statement by an old person.

by Anonymousreply 370July 31, 2025 6:51 PM

[quote]Things old people said

I've got a catch in my get-along.

by Anonymousreply 371July 31, 2025 7:02 PM

Those Spanish people just want free everything!

by Anonymousreply 372July 31, 2025 7:33 PM

And every day I eat a plum.

by Anonymousreply 373July 31, 2025 7:44 PM

"Would you like a piece of hard candy?"

by Anonymousreply 374July 31, 2025 10:07 PM

R358, you’re confused

by Anonymousreply 375July 31, 2025 10:22 PM

R374 The strawberry ones with the filling

by Anonymousreply 376July 31, 2025 10:42 PM

Old ladies call soap operas "my stories"

by Anonymousreply 377July 31, 2025 10:47 PM

FOUR prunes, Mildred?

by Anonymousreply 378July 31, 2025 11:09 PM

R377, has been mentioned over and over in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 379July 31, 2025 11:35 PM

“That fine-lookin’ mullatah woman with the nice teeth”

An older friend describing (because he couldn’t remember her name) Miss Warwick.

by Anonymousreply 380August 1, 2025 12:20 AM

Mine cunny stinketh.

by Anonymousreply 381August 1, 2025 12:32 AM

"That's mighty white of you."

by Anonymousreply 382August 1, 2025 3:20 AM

I'm free, white, and twenty-one.

by Anonymousreply 383August 1, 2025 3:28 AM

I remember when .........

by Anonymousreply 384August 1, 2025 3:42 AM

[quote]FOUR prunes, Mildred?

The trouble with prunes is, you never know how many to serve. Are three enough? Are six too many?

by Anonymousreply 385August 1, 2025 3:44 AM

I had an uncle by marriage who served time in prison for desertion during WW2. This made it hard for him to find a job but he did and worked his entire life for the same man. He became an alcoholic and his boss stood by him while he was recovery and supported his sobriety. Though he always spoke of him with gratitude and affection, I never heard him call this man by name. He always called him 'the Jew'.

by Anonymousreply 386August 1, 2025 3:58 AM

"Back in my day, there were only 13 US states."

by Anonymousreply 387August 1, 2025 12:39 PM

I'll take ten gallons of regular please.

by Anonymousreply 388August 1, 2025 1:30 PM

This thread sucks!

by Anonymousreply 389August 1, 2025 1:33 PM

I drove all the way here with my brights on (high beams)

I have to check the machine (voice mail)

Everything below 14th Street is “the Village” (Greenwich Village, which it’s not)

by Anonymousreply 390August 1, 2025 1:49 PM

Do you give Green Stamps?

by Anonymousreply 391August 1, 2025 1:52 PM

When a woman was upset she had her "tit in wringer".

by Anonymousreply 392August 1, 2025 2:09 PM

"tit in A wringer"

by Anonymousreply 393August 1, 2025 2:10 PM

We're pissing on ice now!

We're in clover now!

You're gonna be fartin' through silk!

We're riding high on the hog this year!

by Anonymousreply 394August 1, 2025 4:02 PM

R389 "Back in my day, wives never sucked their husbands' dicks so I had to suck my own dick."

by Anonymousreply 395August 1, 2025 5:31 PM

"Fill her up with Ethyl, please!"

by Anonymousreply 396August 2, 2025 12:54 AM

When they order something they say, “Give me.”

“Give me 5 Big Macs and a large fry.”

by Anonymousreply 397August 2, 2025 1:11 AM

R131 - "takes more juice to reactivate the light" ... That's true for fluorescent lights, not so much for incandescent, and not true at all for LEDs.

by Anonymousreply 398August 2, 2025 1:13 AM

"I think I may be coming down with the grippe."

by Anonymousreply 399August 2, 2025 2:28 AM

Ass up, kid.

by Anonymousreply 400August 2, 2025 2:55 AM

Regular or unleaded?

by Anonymousreply 401August 2, 2025 4:41 AM

You should get a job with the Post Office!

Think about the job security and the benefits!

by Anonymousreply 402August 2, 2025 8:16 AM

"You should have at least three servings of red meat every day."

by Anonymousreply 403August 2, 2025 8:37 AM

"During the summer of 1895, I showed my ankles to the handsome young man I was dating. One thing led to another and we had wild sex with our clothes on. That's how your grandmother was born."

by Anonymousreply 404August 2, 2025 9:23 PM

R402 I actually had that said to me by Grandma and my aunts.

They didn't understand why anyone would go to college, though I also think it was partly, "well, we're working class folks and college is above our station"

Of course, they all had 8th grade educations.

by Anonymousreply 405August 2, 2025 9:41 PM

Remember the phrase "my old stomping grounds"? Do people still say this, now?

by Anonymousreply 406August 11, 2025 5:17 PM

I’m not fond of the shit people say now as days. Like I mean I’m not.

by Anonymousreply 407August 11, 2025 5:37 PM

There are only 2 genders! Marriage is between one man and one woman! Don't use any of those pronouns around me, we don't do pronouns around here.

by Anonymousreply 408August 11, 2025 5:44 PM

[quote]Remember the phrase "my old stomping grounds"?

Actually, the original saying was "my old STAMPING grounds," but eventually "stomping" took over. Sort of like "butt naked" has replaced "buck naked," and "step foot in" is now used more than "set foot in."

by Anonymousreply 409August 11, 2025 7:14 PM

"My back hurts."

by Anonymousreply 410August 11, 2025 9:54 PM

"I read somewhere"

by Anonymousreply 411August 11, 2025 9:57 PM

Yes, R411, I understand most old people know how to read.

by Anonymousreply 412August 11, 2025 10:11 PM

R412 is triggered.

Sorry Gramps, that's just not a phrase younger people use. One could argue a lot of older people are illiterate by comparison.

by Anonymousreply 413August 11, 2025 10:19 PM

I have retirement savings. I worked hard, earned promotions, and planned for my future.

by Anonymousreply 414August 12, 2025 12:27 PM

I'm a home owner.

I got another promotion at work.

We took 4 vacations last year.

I need to renew my passport.

Let's go out to eat again tonight. I don't feel like cooking.

I have one small tattoo that has deep personal meaning for me. No, you can't see it.

What are you reading?

by Anonymousreply 415August 12, 2025 12:33 PM

When I finished college in 1995 many old people suggested 'Pounding the pavement' to find a job. Literally just showing up unannounced at various offices with your resume and asking to see the 'hiring manager'.

Same thing if you need a place to stay, just knock on doors of nice looking homes and ask if they have any 'rooms to let'.

by Anonymousreply 416August 12, 2025 12:49 PM

LOL R416, my older Boomer sister still says that kind of stuff. Not a clue that is not how they hire people theses days. Even when I explain that to her she does not believe me. She thinks it just a small niche of employers that does everything on line. No clue that today they would probably call security for showing up unannounced.

by Anonymousreply 417August 12, 2025 12:54 PM

"Just check the want ads in the newspaper! That's how I found a job in 1975. I scrimped and saved and by the time I was 24 I had the $17,000 I needed to buy this house. It's worth 2.4 million today! You youngins are too caught up in the Instagram and the avocado toast to save money like we did! NOBODY WANTS TO WORK!"

by Anonymousreply 418August 12, 2025 1:03 PM

R413 = far too sensitive and defensive for the DL

by Anonymousreply 419August 12, 2025 1:18 PM

"Do you have enough cucumbers?"

by Anonymousreply 420August 12, 2025 1:36 PM

"It's waning men"

by Anonymousreply 421August 12, 2025 1:41 PM

"He has an old flivver to get himself to work."

My dad would use that term every so often. Jalopy might also seem dated, so perhaps wreck might be more modern?

by Anonymousreply 422August 12, 2025 1:52 PM

This thread makes me come to grips with the fact that I’m older than I thought I was. Not just chronologically, but culturally.

And by the way, I can’t stand that “step foot” expression. It sounds beyond stupid.

Another one I hate is when reporters say, “Take a listen.” Fuck me.

by Anonymousreply 423August 12, 2025 2:38 PM

“Sat on my balls AGAIN!”

by Anonymousreply 424August 12, 2025 3:00 PM

"Open that can of Spam - we can eat it with Cheez-Whiz."

by Anonymousreply 425August 12, 2025 3:04 PM

It's time for dinner!

by Anonymousreply 426August 12, 2025 3:23 PM

GOOD GRAVY!!

CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!

but only when they were 'in a snit!'

by Anonymousreply 427August 12, 2025 3:26 PM

Get off my lawn kid!

by Anonymousreply 428August 12, 2025 4:34 PM

Real quote, heard over the fence some years back. Spoken by a now departed - Thank You, Jesus - neighbor who is gone from both the neighborhood and this life requesting a beverage from her husband: “Harry, get me a glass of that nice wine. You know, the stuff in the box.”

We shuddered to think what the not-so-nice wine was like.

by Anonymousreply 429August 12, 2025 5:12 PM

The word “groin” was used euphemistically to describe any portion of the human body from the navel to the knees.

by Anonymousreply 430August 12, 2025 5:18 PM

The rug is dirty. Run the sweeper!

And when you're done with that, take the Chrysler down to the filling station and pump some ethyl!

by Anonymousreply 431August 12, 2025 5:20 PM

“Margaret, getcha sweatah. We’ll go down the bah and havvah coupl’a Pearl Harbahs”

Translation for the post-postwar generations: you’re in Boston and you’ll get bombed.

by Anonymousreply 432August 12, 2025 5:29 PM

Very true r416/r417. Over the years I've tried to explain to older people that everything is done online now. Forget about showing up to an office, you wouldn't even get past security. If you try to call, you won't get past the receptionist. It's all about applying on the company website and various job sites. Like your sister, r417, quite a few old people I know or have known thought that only a few companies do this and it's not everybody. They still think showing up unannounced and asking to speak to the "hiring manager" or "the personnel department" will get you hired right away.

by Anonymousreply 433August 12, 2025 5:35 PM

Shit on a shingle!

by Anonymousreply 434August 12, 2025 6:01 PM

The New Deal saved America.

We're grateful for everything this country has given us.

Voting is a privilege.

by Anonymousreply 435August 12, 2025 6:54 PM

My hairdresser is a fairy.

by Anonymousreply 436August 13, 2025 9:07 PM

Why can't we say Oriental anymore?

by Anonymousreply 437August 13, 2025 9:27 PM

R130 I am probably old too but i also think that saying some things out loud will somehow jinx it.

by Anonymousreply 438August 13, 2025 9:33 PM

[quote]Why can't we say Oriental anymore?

You can if you're talking about rugs.

by Anonymousreply 439August 14, 2025 9:00 AM

To gays: why are you allowed to be you and I’m not allowed to be me? (Prejudiced)

- Jay Pritchett

Fictional character but very true old guy statement

by Anonymousreply 440August 14, 2025 10:38 AM

I hate the Japs!

by Anonymousreply 441August 14, 2025 12:42 PM

I never heard that in my life even from my uncles who fought in the Pacific.

by Anonymousreply 442August 14, 2025 1:51 PM

R442 If you never heard it, then it was never said because only your experience of life matters.

by Anonymousreply 443August 14, 2025 2:55 PM

"Do you know where I put my gummies?"

by Anonymousreply 444August 14, 2025 3:20 PM

No, the remark about Japanese is something you imagined people said in the 40s. Maybe they did. But not in the 60s.

by Anonymousreply 445August 14, 2025 4:10 PM

I heard "Japs" from the WWII generation all the time, into the 90s/2000s.

by Anonymousreply 446August 14, 2025 4:39 PM

R37 "My grandmother was an old person of 96 when she died in 1981. She called automobiles “machines.”

My DL friend R37 was a kid in 1981. He calls cars automobiles.

by Anonymousreply 447August 14, 2025 5:34 PM

My father, born in 1928, would only use the word automobile. Never ever car. He’s been dead for 20 years.

by Anonymousreply 448August 14, 2025 5:44 PM

R445 "Dorothy, look I called everyone in my Rolodex, I'm down to the Zs, that means it's either you or my mother and frankly, mom chews too loud and still calls them Japs."

@2:35

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 449August 14, 2025 6:46 PM

R445 Paul McCartney's song "Frozen Jap."

"It was recorded in the summer of 1979 and originally I was working around on synths, again, experimenting and I suddenly got something which sounded very Oriental. When the track was finished, it seemed so Oriental to me and I thought, ‘I’d better get a really lyrical title.’ I tried to think of a suitable title and things came to mind, like ‘Crystalline Icicles Overhang The Little Cabin By The Ice-Capped Mount Fuji,’ or ‘Snow Scene In The Orient,’ but all the titles sounded clumsy. So that I wouldn’t forget, I scribbled down a working title of ‘Frozen Jap’ , you know, frozen being the ice bit for the snow scene idea, and Jap meaning Oriental and somewhere over in that part of the world. And the title stuck, I found that the ‘Crystalline Fuji’ bit just didn’t work. Now, I’m sure people will think it was recorded after that incident in Japan. We decided to change the title to ‘Frozen Japanese’ for the album release in Japan, Since we didn’t want to offend anyone over there. But when the Japanese were told of the album ‘s track listing, they went spare. They thought it was connected with the fact that I had been busted there. They regard it as an incredible slur."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 450August 14, 2025 6:51 PM

I thought he was smarter than that. Perhaps not

by Anonymousreply 451August 14, 2025 9:11 PM

"You're lesbians? Yeah, we had cows like that on our farm when I was a little boy."

by Anonymousreply 452August 14, 2025 10:36 PM

I'll have a Zanka.

by Anonymousreply 453August 14, 2025 11:26 PM

Zanka???

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 454August 14, 2025 11:29 PM

I've only had 5 or 6 drinks. I'm ok to drive.

by Anonymousreply 455August 14, 2025 11:38 PM

I can still feel a draft.

by Anonymousreply 456August 15, 2025 3:08 AM

I'm on a fixed income!

by Anonymousreply 457August 15, 2025 3:12 AM

I need to go to Sears Roebuck and by myself a nice pair of dungarees.

by Anonymousreply 458August 15, 2025 3:30 AM

It's a small world.

by Anonymousreply 459August 15, 2025 3:33 AM

“It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind….”

by Anonymousreply 460August 15, 2025 3:46 AM

Using the word ambitious as a pejorative.

by Anonymousreply 461August 15, 2025 3:52 AM

“She thinks so ambitious, keeping all her teeth!”

by Anonymousreply 462August 15, 2025 3:56 AM

Here, R462, your sentence is ambitious but ultimately fails.

by Anonymousreply 463August 15, 2025 11:32 AM

You’ve been a good boy so as a treat I’m going to take you to the ice cream parlor for a banana split.

by Anonymousreply 464August 15, 2025 11:42 AM

Speaking of parlors- I need to go to the Beauty Parlor and treat myself to a new hairdo.

by Anonymousreply 465August 15, 2025 11:44 AM

Then I’ll stop at the pizza parlor and have a slice since I’m in New York and they don’t sell pizza by the slice at out of state parlors.

by Anonymousreply 466August 15, 2025 11:47 AM

Of course they do, R466.

But not to New Yorkers. They can see them coming.

by Anonymousreply 467August 15, 2025 11:57 AM

Dear, selling pizza by the slice was not done outside of NYC way back when. We’re talking about OLD people.

by Anonymousreply 468August 15, 2025 12:24 PM

Fetch me my Pall Malls and my tumbler of scotch, it's time for Wheel of Fortune.

by Anonymousreply 469August 15, 2025 1:35 PM

[quote], it's time for Wheel of Fortune.

Or as my Dad called it, 'The Vanna White Show'

by Anonymousreply 470August 15, 2025 1:43 PM

[quote]Dear, selling pizza by the slice was not done outside of NYC way back when. We’re talking about OLD people.

Hon, we've been through this. It's not true. Many places all over the Northeast with large Italian American have sold pizza by the slice for pretty much ever.

You're still totally special for being a NYer, though. We're all really impressed.

by Anonymousreply 471August 15, 2025 1:48 PM

r470 your dad was jerking off to her.

by Anonymousreply 472August 15, 2025 1:53 PM
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