It's almost time to watch my program.
Things Old People Say
by Anonymous | reply 472 | August 15, 2025 1:53 PM |
Turn the AC off, it’s cold.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 19, 2025 3:14 PM |
"Get with a good company and stay with them till you retire."
by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 19, 2025 3:15 PM |
"Hand me the clicker."
by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 19, 2025 3:17 PM |
I'm sorting my pills for the week.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 19, 2025 3:18 PM |
When my grandmother's soap operas came on, she'd say, "it's time to watch my stories."
by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 19, 2025 3:19 PM |
You need to really pound the pavement and hand in your resume in person. You should call them as well and ask to speak to someone.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 19, 2025 3:23 PM |
You should ask for a raise.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 19, 2025 3:23 PM |
We never had sluts and hooers in my day!
by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 19, 2025 3:24 PM |
Make sure they have a pension plan.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 19, 2025 3:25 PM |
"Get on the horn and start talking to people."
by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 19, 2025 3:26 PM |
Don’t you dare leav’ yo good gubmint job.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 19, 2025 3:28 PM |
You’re a whore darling.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 19, 2025 3:29 PM |
Let me pull out my checkbook to pay for these groceries.
I can look it up in the Yellow Pages
Oh, I need to log into Datalounge before my 8:30 bedtime.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 19, 2025 3:32 PM |
“They’re nice people, and such good dancers, but they’re so damned lazy! I think ending slavery sucked all the work ethic out of them!
Don’t look at me like that! I have a Black friend! No, you’ve never met her, but I’ve known her for years!”
by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 19, 2025 3:34 PM |
R14 Lawd, was your grandmuva one of the extras or similar to the bitches in The Deliverance?
by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 19, 2025 3:38 PM |
Take off your coat and stay a while. Let's visit for a spell.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 19, 2025 3:39 PM |
Black older women refer to soaps as the stories
by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 19, 2025 3:40 PM |
"Don't be fresh" when I was talking back.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 19, 2025 3:42 PM |
Oh, are those a new pair of Dungarees you're wearing?
by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 19, 2025 3:42 PM |
I don’t drive at night.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 19, 2025 3:42 PM |
Supper at 5!
by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 19, 2025 3:43 PM |
You would think anyone would find a vagina more desirable than a man’s anus
by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 19, 2025 3:43 PM |
You look snappy.
Find a man who makes the dough-ray-me!
by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 19, 2025 3:44 PM |
You can’t reheat French toast.
Or for more provincial grannies,
Hurry up and eat chile before it get cold. It can’t be reheated, not even in oven.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 19, 2025 3:45 PM |
Why are you always on your phone?
by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 19, 2025 3:45 PM |
My grandfather grew up during a time with most people were still riding around in buggies pulled by horses. When they would pull up to someone's home the host would always say "get down and come in". My grandfather kept that tradition going until his death when people would drive up to their house in cars he'd come out and say "good to see you, get down and come on into the house".
by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 19, 2025 3:51 PM |
Mothers Don’t Hate Their Sons!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 19, 2025 3:53 PM |
Let's go to the front room and visit on the davenport. (Which is covered in plastic.)
by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 19, 2025 3:54 PM |
Mot of these are things today's old people heard old people say when hey were young.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 19, 2025 3:59 PM |
any mention of Madonna.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 19, 2025 4:00 PM |
Which one of you is the wife?
by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 19, 2025 4:04 PM |
Did I turn the gas off?
by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 19, 2025 4:04 PM |
How did your grandfather and I meet?
Well, he was married and my teacher, but it was love at first site. On our first date, he took me down to the soda fountain and then to the drive in, where we saw a double feature, The Blob and The Fly. I was so scared. Later, I repeatedly lost my virginity to him in the back of his '52 Bel Air while Waldo, the town perv, watched in the bushes.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 19, 2025 4:05 PM |
"Put on some of that darkie music."
by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 19, 2025 4:17 PM |
Allegra, play Black Jazz!
by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 19, 2025 4:19 PM |
Common sense.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 19, 2025 4:27 PM |
My grandmother was an old person of 96 when she died in 1981. She called automobiles “machines.”
by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 19, 2025 4:45 PM |
My north of England grandma was always visiting relatives and friends, but would say 'I won't take my coat off. - I'm not stopping'.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 19, 2025 4:47 PM |
Byrd, look it up on “the machine”.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 19, 2025 6:12 PM |
Are you two going steady?
by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 19, 2025 6:15 PM |
He's a bachelor.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | July 19, 2025 6:24 PM |
r37 my grandmother died in 2016 at the age of 101. She used to call smartphones "gadgets"
by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 19, 2025 6:27 PM |
R42 My mother was 77 when she died in 1998. She called CDs “those little shiny records” she’d put in the “record player” that was built into the radio in her Volvo’s dashboard.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 19, 2025 6:52 PM |
Why you dumb bunny
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 19, 2025 6:57 PM |
Come in this house!!
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 19, 2025 6:58 PM |
Miz Lesh?
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 19, 2025 7:00 PM |
When Jackie Kennedy married Onassis, my old nonna said she was a "puttana". Does that count?
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 19, 2025 7:02 PM |
Go play outside.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 19, 2025 7:03 PM |
I hope you’re getting paid overtime for all the extra hours you work!
by Anonymous | reply 49 | July 19, 2025 7:04 PM |
That used to be a nice neighborhood until the blacks moved in. Now it's a hellhole.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 19, 2025 7:24 PM |
The neighborhood “changed”.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 19, 2025 7:28 PM |
The problem with the blacks...
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 19, 2025 7:42 PM |
Go get a good job at a good fax machine company.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | July 19, 2025 7:43 PM |
[quote]Things Old People Say
Just wait.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 19, 2025 7:55 PM |
I just finished playing my Janet Jackson record.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 19, 2025 8:08 PM |
I put your lunch in the ICEBOX
by Anonymous | reply 56 | July 19, 2025 8:26 PM |
My aunt called the CD player the Victrola and the icebox the Frigidaire.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 19, 2025 8:27 PM |
I reckon! I declare!
by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 19, 2025 8:31 PM |
I can't remember which pocketbook I put my car keys in.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | July 19, 2025 8:31 PM |
Do any of you know any old people who aren't racist?
by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 19, 2025 8:31 PM |
"(My name), the god-damned remote is broken again!"
by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 19, 2025 8:33 PM |
"You know something? That (haircut, caftan, or Ozempic-induced weight loss) really makes you look sharp."
by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 19, 2025 8:34 PM |
"Would you like some of my old bras? I think they might fit you."
by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 19, 2025 8:36 PM |
Make America Great Again
by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 19, 2025 8:43 PM |
I read it online and it wasn’t on Facebook.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 19, 2025 8:43 PM |
The Spanish people need to learn English!
by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 19, 2025 8:43 PM |
There’s no way some of the comments posted here are by old people currently still living. Op said old, not departed.
Reading is fundamental.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 19, 2025 8:45 PM |
R66, my old racist, relatives used to say "I shouldn't be forced to learn another language in my own country!"
by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 19, 2025 8:46 PM |
Tonight I'm going to the disco.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | July 19, 2025 8:46 PM |
Locker room 👃
by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 19, 2025 8:49 PM |
My 88 year old aunt about her gay grandson’s boyfriend: oh, they’ve been roommates for over twenty years now!
by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 19, 2025 8:49 PM |
My 48-year-old son Jonathan hasn't gotten married yet. I guess he's just shy
by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 19, 2025 8:52 PM |
Get me my whiskey and Chesterfields.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | July 19, 2025 8:59 PM |
My grandmother wasn't a homophobe, she just didn't believe she knew any fairies.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 19, 2025 9:11 PM |
Father O'Brian can't be gay. He's a priest!
by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 19, 2025 9:14 PM |
Next you are going to tell me Liberace was gay!
by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 19, 2025 9:26 PM |
These remotes have too many goddamned BUTTONS on them! I just want to watch TV and it won’t let me!!!
by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 19, 2025 9:45 PM |
Although long dead, some relatives called their sofa a Chesterfield. Every other (great-)grandparent called it a Davenport or couch.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 19, 2025 9:45 PM |
Why don’t you come by? I’ll play the zither and you can whistle.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 19, 2025 9:48 PM |
Where did they get the sperm?
by Anonymous | reply 80 | July 19, 2025 9:50 PM |
"You PAID for jeans with tears in them?"
by Anonymous | reply 81 | July 19, 2025 9:52 PM |
Long dead great-aunt: "That Oriental lady on the news." (Connie Chung)
by Anonymous | reply 82 | July 19, 2025 10:00 PM |
"Liberace wasn't gay. He was just flamboyant!"
by Anonymous | reply 83 | July 19, 2025 10:08 PM |
“Fiddlesticks!”
by Anonymous | reply 84 | July 19, 2025 10:10 PM |
[quote]Although long dead, some relatives called their sofa a Chesterfield.
Chesterfield is still somewhat common in Canada.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | July 19, 2025 10:26 PM |
Filling Station for Gas Station
Sweeper for Vacuum Cleaner
Wop Burger for Hoagie Sandwich
Pavement ("Payment") for Sidewalk
by Anonymous | reply 86 | July 19, 2025 10:52 PM |
I vote in every election.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | July 19, 2025 11:27 PM |
"He/she is such a pill!" = asshole!
by Anonymous | reply 88 | July 19, 2025 11:27 PM |
"Well, isn't this nice."
by Anonymous | reply 89 | July 19, 2025 11:34 PM |
Oh fudge!
by Anonymous | reply 90 | July 19, 2025 11:37 PM |
Referring to movies as pictures.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | July 19, 2025 11:48 PM |
Roll down the window.
Sit on the davenport.
icebox instead of refrigerator
by Anonymous | reply 92 | July 19, 2025 11:49 PM |
Why are there so many different words for couch
by Anonymous | reply 93 | July 20, 2025 12:17 AM |
They go out of their way to call a man they know is gay, sir, especially in public settings.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | July 20, 2025 12:27 AM |
R38 I know old people are notorious for going somewhere and not taking they coat off and proudly exclaiming so. Yet staying for an hour or two. Aite get you old ass on now bitch, you claim you don’t like to drive at night. Or worse when you’ve drove them somewhere.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | July 20, 2025 12:31 AM |
Homosexual, especially to go out of their way to not offend.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | July 20, 2025 12:32 AM |
He's gone BANANAS.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | July 20, 2025 12:34 AM |
Anything that costs more than $5, "Highway Robbery!"
by Anonymous | reply 98 | July 20, 2025 12:34 AM |
“You heard that Louise’s daughter has” *lowers voice to a whisper* ”… cancer!”
by Anonymous | reply 99 | July 20, 2025 12:35 AM |
I didn’t protest and march for these thugs to drive around with that music blaring.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | July 20, 2025 12:36 AM |
[quote] Homosexual, especially to go out of their way to not offend.
The different pronunciations / accents were fun to notice. From "hamah-seck- shull" to "hoe-moe- secks-syew-ill"
by Anonymous | reply 101 | July 20, 2025 12:39 AM |
[quote]The different pronunciations / accents were fun to notice. From "hamah-seck- shull" to "hoe-moe- secks-syew-ill"
We make it really easy in Boston and just call them FAGS.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | July 20, 2025 2:21 AM |
Old people also don't mind the "drop in." When I was a little kid I remember people showing up at my Grandparents' house without a call or anything all the time.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | July 20, 2025 2:52 AM |
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd buy you furniture for your house
Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
A nice reliant automobile
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love
by Anonymous | reply 104 | July 20, 2025 3:14 AM |
This is the first time I’ve ever been to something like that.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | July 20, 2025 4:00 AM |
R103, my grandmother would show up at our house unannounced and wouldn't even knock. She'd just open the door and shout "Knock-knock!"
by Anonymous | reply 106 | July 20, 2025 4:19 AM |
My grandfather was a cardiologist & a farmer. He always referred to an injection with a hypodermic needle as a "puncture". My mother always called it that, and yes, I have always referred to the same way.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | July 20, 2025 12:04 PM |
Old people cannot leave a room without turning all the lights out, even the kitchen when we’re going to be back in there in five minutes. Because of the depression? World War 2? I never figured it out, and this was at our house so the light bill wasn’t the issue.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | July 20, 2025 12:51 PM |
QE2 did the same thing, R108. Not only that, it was a 40 watt bulb in a huge palace room she was turning off.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | July 20, 2025 1:10 PM |
I live alone, so I turn off the lights when I leave a room. Even when I know I'll be back in a few minutes. If no one is there to see the light, why leave it on?
It's a good habit to have.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | July 20, 2025 1:40 PM |
Saaaaay! I oughtta POUND you!
by Anonymous | reply 111 | July 20, 2025 1:43 PM |
You missed the point, not everyone lives alone, R110. And I’m talking about a family house with six people in it.
by Anonymous | reply 112 | July 20, 2025 1:50 PM |
[quote] These remotes have too many goddamned BUTTONS on them! I just want to watch TV and it won’t let me!!!
Fuck, I say that and I'm 53. Or it doesn't have ENOUGH buttons on it -- looking at you, stupid Apple remote.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | July 20, 2025 1:51 PM |
In front of everyone as I leave the bathroom, "Do you have your period? I think I still have some tampons here somewhere."
by Anonymous | reply 114 | July 20, 2025 2:01 PM |
Why didn't that nice Richard Chamberlain ever find the right girl?
by Anonymous | reply 115 | July 20, 2025 2:31 PM |
"Aren't you having any dinner with us?" at 4:45.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | July 20, 2025 2:57 PM |
You're getting pudgy.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | July 20, 2025 3:17 PM |
You light turner offers should do what I did. Invest in automatic motion detector light switches. I paid about $8 each for light switches that turn on as soon as I enter a room (as long as the natural ambient lighting is low enough), and turn off 20 seconds after I leave the room.
by Anonymous | reply 118 | July 20, 2025 3:25 PM |
Oh, you're such a card!
by Anonymous | reply 119 | July 20, 2025 4:02 PM |
You’re gonna get Slapped
by Anonymous | reply 120 | July 20, 2025 4:19 PM |
You need to be careful. You don't want to catch a social disease.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | July 20, 2025 4:20 PM |
I’m so old, I’m more liberal than my FAT daughter.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | July 20, 2025 4:24 PM |
They obsess on everyone’s HAIR. Hairstyles.
by Anonymous | reply 123 | July 20, 2025 4:58 PM |
You're the cat's meow; truly the bee's knees.
by Anonymous | reply 124 | July 20, 2025 5:11 PM |
“Looks like more rain in Seattle tomorrow. Good thing we live in Phoenix!”
by Anonymous | reply 125 | July 20, 2025 5:50 PM |
[quote]Old people cannot leave a room without turning all the lights out, even the kitchen when we’re going to be back in there in five minutes. Because of the depression? World War 2? I never figured it out, and this was at our house so the light bill wasn’t the issue.
I remember growing up during the energy crisis when my parents wouldn't turn on the heat & tried to heat our house with a wood stove (it didn't work). So I'm very mindful about turning off lights when I'm not in the room. It's a small thing, but it just seems wasteful
by Anonymous | reply 126 | July 20, 2025 5:58 PM |
Generational conflict usually happens when the generations don't talk with each other. What remains then is just the perpetuation of stereotypes about the other generation. Here is a link that explains (a bit too briefly) how to improve things, if people actually want to improve the relationships.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | July 20, 2025 6:04 PM |
R127: God help us. Here’s one more reason HR is considered a joke.
Seven steps to resolving a problem you haven’t defined and each step must start with the letter “A.”
by Anonymous | reply 128 | July 20, 2025 6:11 PM |
Generations need to slap
by Anonymous | reply 129 | July 20, 2025 6:28 PM |
Any “bad” illness gets whispered. She’s got *whisper* cancer. This is my favorite one, She’s having *whisper* female trouble. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I learned what female trouble meant. I guess it could have meant lesbian drama, but Grandma would have said about anything gay related *whisper* they go with each other or they’re that way.
by Anonymous | reply 130 | July 20, 2025 6:36 PM |
[quote] I live alone, so I turn off the lights when I leave a room. Even when I know I'll be back in a few minutes. If no one is there to see the light, why leave it on?
I've read that it actually takes more juice to reactivate the light than to leave it on. Anyone else ever heard this?
by Anonymous | reply 131 | July 20, 2025 6:42 PM |
I have the sugars.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | July 20, 2025 6:46 PM |
It's colder than a witches tit.
by Anonymous | reply 133 | July 20, 2025 7:06 PM |
I'm dying.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | July 20, 2025 7:08 PM |
Anyone born after 1975 is not functioning right and doesn't have the sense to know it.
by Anonymous | reply 135 | July 20, 2025 7:11 PM |
Oh, Rosemary? She was sent to a special camp in Vermont for the mentally retarded.
by Anonymous | reply 136 | July 20, 2025 7:34 PM |
my grandmother to my sister: Diane you had better put a kerchief on, it windy out and might rain. My put one in and started to dance around the kitchen and we all were laughing hysterically. My gram was serious at first, but then realized no one wears kerchiefs anymore.
by Anonymous | reply 137 | July 20, 2025 7:41 PM |
[quote]In front of everyone as I leave the bathroom, "Do you have your period? I think I still have some tampons here somewhere."
Especially embarrassing since you're a 60-year-old man.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | July 20, 2025 7:55 PM |
Really, has anyone actually heard what R124 said outside of old movies?
by Anonymous | reply 139 | July 20, 2025 7:56 PM |
r114 was your aunt Jessica Walter in The Slums of Beverly Hills?
by Anonymous | reply 140 | July 20, 2025 8:06 PM |
lol R138.
46 year old woman.
by Anonymous | reply 141 | July 20, 2025 8:07 PM |
R140, No but she could be. She has dementia now and she will come live with me. I can't wait to hear the things she's going to say. She's still very lucid and naughty though.
by Anonymous | reply 142 | July 20, 2025 8:10 PM |
Btw, I’m 69 years old and remembering shit my grandparents said in 1965.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | July 20, 2025 8:40 PM |
"Well, bless your heart". Said either after someone says or does something very stupid, or when someone reveals an embarrassing thing that happened to them.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | July 20, 2025 8:45 PM |
I was born in the American Middle West in 1930's and raised by my grandparents, who were born in England the 1880's.
by Anonymous | reply 145 | July 20, 2025 8:48 PM |
You need a good Jew lawyer.
by Anonymous | reply 146 | July 20, 2025 9:02 PM |
Slacks.
by Anonymous | reply 147 | July 20, 2025 9:10 PM |
Can you believe she wore that long stringy hair to the funeral?
by Anonymous | reply 148 | July 20, 2025 9:13 PM |
I can never use these debit card machines. They're all so different! And why do they make the screen so tiny?
by Anonymous | reply 149 | July 20, 2025 9:13 PM |
Eleanor Roosevelt was a rug muncher
by Anonymous | reply 150 | July 20, 2025 9:17 PM |
Do you still see the girl with that exotic name?
by Anonymous | reply 152 | July 20, 2025 9:32 PM |
Saaay! What's the big idea??
by Anonymous | reply 153 | July 20, 2025 9:36 PM |
Watch your language, we're in mixed company.
Do you have a fella?/Are you running around with anyone?
The two of them look like Mutt and Jeff.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | July 20, 2025 9:47 PM |
What my greatest generation Dad said, anxiously, when mom invited the new neighbors over, an out gay couple (1978).
"Is this what they call a lifestyle?"
My friend's mom, born 1926 giving career advice to her daughter... "just get under a good man and work your way up".
by Anonymous | reply 155 | July 20, 2025 9:58 PM |
Slacks isn’t said anymore?
R139 my Dad had an antique store called the cat’s meow back in the 70’s.
by Anonymous | reply 156 | July 20, 2025 10:00 PM |
"Eenie, meanie, miney mo, catch a" - I'm going to stop you right there Grandma. That's NOT how it goes anymore!
Even at 6, I was appalled.
It's TIGER.
by Anonymous | reply 157 | July 20, 2025 10:32 PM |
My buddy, Mr. Green Gene, always had the best stash on campus. We'd do a couple joints, take quaaludes, and head over to the field where the hippie girls were doing naked yoga.
by Anonymous | reply 158 | July 20, 2025 10:51 PM |
Yeah, Frick and Frack over here!
by Anonymous | reply 159 | July 20, 2025 11:27 PM |
My elderly Jewish great grandmother didn't like Barbra Streisand. "Too Jewish," she said.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | July 20, 2025 11:41 PM |
"What's this bippity boppity music you're listening to these days?"
by Anonymous | reply 161 | July 20, 2025 11:55 PM |
I had an uncle who was born in 1922. I recall him referring to someone (in the 1970s) as being "all hopped up on that wacky-tabacky!"
by Anonymous | reply 162 | July 21, 2025 12:13 AM |
Hot diggity dog!
by Anonymous | reply 163 | July 21, 2025 12:14 AM |
In response to a factual statement, 'yeah, I don't know about that'.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | July 21, 2025 12:26 AM |
I got soft banned from DL.
by Anonymous | reply 165 | July 21, 2025 12:47 AM |
"Why, the very idea........" Joseph R Biden
"Everything's computer!" Sad, pathetic current White House squatter...
by Anonymous | reply 166 | July 21, 2025 12:55 AM |
R166 That's malarkey, Jack!
by Anonymous | reply 167 | July 21, 2025 1:19 AM |
No more Malarkey!
by Anonymous | reply 168 | July 21, 2025 1:47 AM |
She's built like a brick shithouse. (highest compliment my great-aunt could pay a woman.)
by Anonymous | reply 169 | July 21, 2025 2:04 AM |
R17 Every good thing I am today is because I watched stories with our black housekeeper. I can still hear her say, "My afternoon story be coming on at 3." Meaning don't mess with me, the house, or make any trouble. She would iron, and I would ask a million questions. She never minded and had an encyclopedic memory of every character and plot twist. Morning story was The Guiding Light. Afternoons it was Edge of Night.
by Anonymous | reply 170 | July 21, 2025 2:09 AM |
When negotiating: “Make sure you Jew them down”.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | July 21, 2025 2:42 AM |
Jew York City
by Anonymous | reply 172 | July 21, 2025 2:44 AM |
Dungarees (instead of jeans)
Clam diggers (instead of capris)
by Anonymous | reply 173 | July 21, 2025 3:18 AM |
My mom calls CDs “tapes”.
by Anonymous | reply 174 | July 21, 2025 5:36 AM |
R174 my aunt the same. Doesn’t matter if it’s a CD, a DVD, a VHS, a Blu-Ray, streaming, etc — it’s all a tape.
by Anonymous | reply 175 | July 21, 2025 5:42 AM |
R175 I bet things get very confusing around Christmas.
by Anonymous | reply 176 | July 21, 2025 5:53 AM |
When something was going wrong or turning out badly my dad (1933 - 2022) would loudly declaim "Well, THIS is a total abortion!"
by Anonymous | reply 177 | July 21, 2025 6:07 AM |
Whenever I made a "wisecrack" my grandpa (1912 - 2003) would say "You're funny; but looks aren't everything."
by Anonymous | reply 178 | July 21, 2025 6:22 AM |
A great-uncle once asked me if I was "courting." He was nice and meant well - so I didn't reply, "No. I don't live in a Jane Austen novel, and I'm queer."
by Anonymous | reply 179 | July 21, 2025 6:30 AM |
You’re a real stinker!
by Anonymous | reply 180 | July 21, 2025 6:38 AM |
“Go peddle your papers” was the soft way of saying “Get the fuck out of here”
by Anonymous | reply 181 | July 21, 2025 10:51 AM |
"There's a storm coming, we have to go to the basement and pray. God is angry."
by Anonymous | reply 182 | July 21, 2025 12:29 PM |
My mother: SHIT!
by Anonymous | reply 183 | July 21, 2025 1:24 PM |
Go play in traffic!
by Anonymous | reply 184 | July 21, 2025 2:25 PM |
"I'm not made of money!"
I don't know if people still say that but my late father did. He would be 94 today.
by Anonymous | reply 185 | July 21, 2025 4:23 PM |
My great aunt would say, “You’re so curious!” meaning that someone was particular or odd. Never heard anyone else use the word curious like that.
by Anonymous | reply 186 | July 21, 2025 4:58 PM |
Stop repeating yourself- You sound like a broken phonograph record.
My father used to say this to me.
by Anonymous | reply 187 | July 21, 2025 5:02 PM |
"Say, I'm working this side of the street!"
by Anonymous | reply 188 | July 21, 2025 5:05 PM |
My grandmother called all refrigerators
Frigidaires
by Anonymous | reply 189 | July 21, 2025 5:06 PM |
R146 is Archie Bunker
by Anonymous | reply 190 | July 21, 2025 5:08 PM |
Not scared to fat shame
by Anonymous | reply 191 | July 21, 2025 5:14 PM |
It's midnight. Wordle is up.
by Anonymous | reply 192 | July 21, 2025 5:24 PM |
Proper undergarments are a necessity. They make or break the look of your clothes.
by Anonymous | reply 193 | July 21, 2025 5:27 PM |
If I had a nose like Florine's I wouldn't be going around wishing anyone a merry Christmas.
by Anonymous | reply 194 | July 21, 2025 5:33 PM |
“ that girl has muscles!”
by Anonymous | reply 195 | July 21, 2025 5:45 PM |
The New Deal saved this country.
by Anonymous | reply 196 | July 21, 2025 5:53 PM |
Fur coat and no knickers (rich, stupid, slept her way up, a tart)
Mutton dressed as lamb (old slag trying too hard, a tart)
by Anonymous | reply 197 | July 21, 2025 10:12 PM |
As long as you have a book, there's no reason to watch TV.
by Anonymous | reply 198 | July 21, 2025 11:44 PM |
Why don’t you go sit in the frunchroom?
by Anonymous | reply 199 | July 21, 2025 11:47 PM |
"Do you still have that Farrah Fawcett poster on your bedroom wall?"
by Anonymous | reply 200 | July 21, 2025 11:53 PM |
I forgot my hearing aids.
by Anonymous | reply 201 | July 22, 2025 12:20 AM |
“Nice pins” = great legs
“Shattered” = blind drunk
“A night on the tiles” = a night out: dinner, drinking, and dancing, the tiles being the dance floor
“His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top” = not very bright
by Anonymous | reply 202 | July 22, 2025 12:22 AM |
When I don't want to answer a question I say "I don't remember, I'm old."
by Anonymous | reply 203 | July 22, 2025 12:26 AM |
R197, are you the one who starts all of those British threads nobody cares about?
by Anonymous | reply 204 | July 22, 2025 1:05 AM |
I'm on a FIXED INCOME!!!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 205 | July 22, 2025 1:54 AM |
Many of you bitches deserve a time-out, "for wasting bandwidth."
by Anonymous | reply 206 | July 22, 2025 1:59 AM |
Calling their soap operas their "stories".
by Anonymous | reply 207 | July 22, 2025 2:21 AM |
Your eyes look like two piss holes in a snow bank. (A family friend, from New England, said this.)
by Anonymous | reply 208 | July 22, 2025 2:22 AM |
He's a confirmed bachelor.
by Anonymous | reply 209 | July 22, 2025 2:28 AM |
Bedfast; and old fashioned term for "bedridden."
by Anonymous | reply 210 | July 22, 2025 2:31 AM |
Her daughter got with a Black fella, you know, so her baby came out a little beige. And I said "Hey, whaddya know!"
There's so much of that these days. "Mullatta," it's supposed to be called.
by Anonymous | reply 211 | July 22, 2025 2:35 AM |
Regarding marijuana, I always called it "pot". I didn't realize the term is outdated - it's called "weed".
by Anonymous | reply 212 | July 22, 2025 2:36 AM |
"How does she like her coffee?"
Stong and black.
by Anonymous | reply 213 | July 22, 2025 2:36 AM |
No one was allowed to interrupt my great aunt Clara, during her story (soap operas.) I think it was "Search for Tomorrow" which began at 1pm. We were NEVER allowed to call her at that time.
by Anonymous | reply 214 | July 22, 2025 2:55 AM |
Things your racist, homophobic elderly relatives said 30 years ago.
by Anonymous | reply 215 | July 22, 2025 5:35 AM |
R215 Exactly.
And, considering this is DL, I'm sure at least half the people on here are over 60...so it really should be "things WE old people like to say".
by Anonymous | reply 216 | July 22, 2025 6:26 AM |
Here, I'll do one now for "Things Old People NOW Say, Especially on DL"
"Well, I'm barely 60, but I easily pass for early 40s!"
by Anonymous | reply 217 | July 22, 2025 6:28 AM |
Knee high to a grasshopper
by Anonymous | reply 218 | July 22, 2025 12:23 PM |
Gee another thread making fun of the old. Isn’t it fun to dehumanize people? It’s American as apple pie and of course part of MAGA culture. Trump does it every day!
by Anonymous | reply 219 | July 22, 2025 12:30 PM |
Should I take an Aleve for my back or just tough it out with a couple of aspirin?
Where did this damn cough come from? Is it connected to the poor air quality we've been having?
by Anonymous | reply 220 | July 22, 2025 1:32 PM |
[quote]Regarding marijuana, I always called it "pot". I didn't realize the term is outdated - it's called "weed".
Me too, and it's very confusing when reading British books where they refer to "pot plants" ... which I eventually figured out meant what we call POTTED plants, not (necessarily) marijuana.
by Anonymous | reply 221 | July 22, 2025 2:07 PM |
"Were you ever bedridden?"
"Twice. And once in a buggy."
by Anonymous | reply 222 | July 22, 2025 2:42 PM |
Thank God, it's not Covid.
by Anonymous | reply 223 | July 22, 2025 6:12 PM |
My lumbago is acting up.
by Anonymous | reply 224 | July 22, 2025 6:15 PM |
Go get me some Poli-grip and Juicy Fruit.
by Anonymous | reply 225 | July 22, 2025 6:16 PM |
I need some Geritol.
by Anonymous | reply 226 | July 22, 2025 6:24 PM |
Of course we're still making fun of the elderly. It's a universal pastime!
by Anonymous | reply 227 | July 22, 2025 6:25 PM |
It’s on the QT
by Anonymous | reply 228 | July 22, 2025 6:27 PM |
I’ve been using QT for years
by Anonymous | reply 229 | July 22, 2025 6:28 PM |
R229 Me too! They have great gas and clean stores!
by Anonymous | reply 230 | July 22, 2025 6:28 PM |
"Wouldn't it be great to live in Florida full-time?"
For the life of me, I don't understand the strangle-hold that state has on retirees. Flat, humid AF, hot, terrible drivers, hurricanes, bugs, alligators - how in the world did this place define paradise?
by Anonymous | reply 231 | July 22, 2025 6:29 PM |
R231 It’s warm. That’s it. The other warm places are worse.
by Anonymous | reply 232 | July 22, 2025 7:00 PM |
"Everything was a lot cheaper back in the olden days. I bought my house for a nickel!"
by Anonymous | reply 233 | July 22, 2025 7:01 PM |
I'm a senior citizen. My parents bought their first house in 1947 for $9 thousand. It's worth well over a hundred times that now.
by Anonymous | reply 234 | July 22, 2025 7:11 PM |
R234 LIAR! They bought it for a nickel!
by Anonymous | reply 235 | July 22, 2025 8:11 PM |
Gimme a rubber band sandwich and make it snappy.
by Anonymous | reply 236 | July 22, 2025 8:20 PM |
Mail them your resume and make sure to include a nice note.
by Anonymous | reply 237 | July 22, 2025 8:20 PM |
I’ve been to ten county fairs and halfway around the word on a battleship. I know what I’m talking about, dammit.
by Anonymous | reply 238 | July 22, 2025 8:22 PM |
The civil rights movement is a battle for America's soul. We have an obligation to support it, said my father in 1964.
Not everyone was a bigot or asshole.
by Anonymous | reply 239 | July 22, 2025 9:05 PM |
R219 I think most of the responses are warm hearted.
Language changes over time. It isn’t good or bad, it just is and it is a universal human experience.
Personally, this type of thread brings back memories of my beloved grandparents, kind thoughts of my parents and amusing thoughts of all of the old timey words and phrases I’ve carried over from my own childhood.
by Anonymous | reply 240 | July 22, 2025 9:29 PM |
Most of the responses on here are cliches from 50+ years ago which indicates the people making them are they themselves on the old side.
It's almost as ludicrous as how TV and film used to portray old people on TV with old women ALWAYS wearing lacy collars with a cameo brooch. And, hat and gloves for church even though that pretty much died out in the 60s (except maybe for Easter...and of course black churches still dress up.) Or, always wearing long sleeves and sweater...even in Miami!!!
Old ladies in Florida mostly wear sleeveless tops...because it's in the sub tropics!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 241 | July 22, 2025 10:31 PM |
r241 some of these things are words/phrases my elderly relatives said in the 1990s.
by Anonymous | reply 242 | July 22, 2025 10:50 PM |
"Act like a lady and you will be treated like a lady. "
by Anonymous | reply 243 | July 22, 2025 11:31 PM |
R240, R219 is a delicate creature new to the Datalounge.
by Anonymous | reply 244 | July 22, 2025 11:32 PM |
R235 FOR A NICKEL, I WILL!!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 245 | July 23, 2025 12:45 AM |
Calling pants "slacks" or "trousers" or "dungarees."
by Anonymous | reply 246 | July 23, 2025 1:17 AM |
After a nice meal, my grandma would say, “That was some kind of good.”
I left my Walkman on the kitchen table and she wouldn’t pick it up to move it. She called it “that thing.” She also called the fridge an icebox, the toilet the commode and she gave biblical names to the neighborhood cats.
My other grandmother, who went for the Italian Elizabeth Taylor vibe, used to make fun of the woman down the street. “She doesn’t go out that much. You know, I wouldn’t go out much either if I were that homely.”
by Anonymous | reply 247 | July 23, 2025 1:36 AM |
Are you plugged in? (Asking if I was using the Walkman)
by Anonymous | reply 248 | July 23, 2025 1:48 AM |
r246 I think "trousers" is the default term in the UK. "Pants" means underwear there.
by Anonymous | reply 249 | July 23, 2025 4:16 AM |
A word that I can’t stand: supper
by Anonymous | reply 250 | July 23, 2025 4:47 AM |
Cattywampus
by Anonymous | reply 251 | July 23, 2025 4:48 AM |
Time for din-din.
by Anonymous | reply 252 | July 23, 2025 9:56 AM |
When my grandfather would see a topless woman in a movie he would say "she has nice lumps on her back."
by Anonymous | reply 253 | July 23, 2025 2:14 PM |
R241 - One of the ironies of life is that you yourself often forget just how old you are. When she was in her early 60s (the age I am now), I remember my mother telling me "Half the time I still think I'm 34, with little kids in school." She's now almost 90 still sharp, and completely independent - much of that is very good genes, but not letting your age define you mentally is important too.
by Anonymous | reply 254 | July 23, 2025 6:51 PM |
R254 - my mother said the very same thing. "I feel like a person in my 30s, until I look in the mirror"
by Anonymous | reply 255 | July 23, 2025 6:53 PM |
My mother once said she feels like a hippo that escaped from the zoo and then took a nap on a gravel driveway.
by Anonymous | reply 257 | July 23, 2025 8:51 PM |
When my grandmother's hair got messed up from being outside on a windy day she'd say "I look like a wild woman of Borneo."
by Anonymous | reply 258 | July 23, 2025 9:35 PM |
R256 THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!!!
by Anonymous | reply 259 | July 23, 2025 9:40 PM |
R257 Is your mother really that fat?
by Anonymous | reply 260 | July 23, 2025 9:41 PM |
"Are you sure there isn't a window open somewhere? I can still feel a draft."
by Anonymous | reply 261 | July 23, 2025 9:46 PM |
“I think I smell a wood burning fire”
My mother every time my b-i-l lit a joint somewhere (outside if she was inside, inside if she was outside, in the garage when she was in the house, etc) he thought she wouldn’t notice the smoke. She always did.
by Anonymous | reply 262 | July 24, 2025 12:03 AM |
“If you millennials wouldn’t eat so much avocado toast, you’d be able to buy a house.”
by Anonymous | reply 264 | July 24, 2025 12:35 AM |
I'm turning off the television. It's dinnertime.
by Anonymous | reply 265 | July 24, 2025 2:29 AM |
"I don't approve of this Martin Luther COON Day"
by Anonymous | reply 266 | July 24, 2025 4:40 AM |
What?
Huh?
What did you say?
Stop mumbling!
by Anonymous | reply 267 | July 24, 2025 4:51 AM |
This looks bomb dot com.
by Anonymous | reply 268 | July 24, 2025 6:05 AM |
She's pretty for a colored girl.
by Anonymous | reply 269 | July 24, 2025 6:15 AM |
"You should add some Javelle water to the washer to keep your whites from looking dingy."
by Anonymous | reply 270 | July 24, 2025 8:30 AM |
“Working hard or hardly working?”
by Anonymous | reply 271 | July 24, 2025 8:58 AM |
"Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am NOT a crackpot."
by Anonymous | reply 272 | July 24, 2025 10:57 AM |
"I can remember {whatever} used to cost {$____}!"
by Anonymous | reply 273 | July 24, 2025 1:17 PM |
"You actually like you're the king, and we're the sorry people!"
by Anonymous | reply 274 | July 26, 2025 1:55 AM |
Fuck AUTOCORRECT!!
Try that again:
"You act like you're the king, and we're the sorry people."
by Anonymous | reply 275 | July 26, 2025 1:57 AM |
Don't go out without your rubbers!
by Anonymous | reply 276 | July 26, 2025 3:45 PM |
Snooze you lose!
by Anonymous | reply 277 | July 26, 2025 3:49 PM |
How can you sleep until noon? You’re as lazy as the days are long.
by Anonymous | reply 278 | July 26, 2025 5:43 PM |
my elderly aunts: "does he sit down to pee too?"
by Anonymous | reply 279 | July 26, 2025 11:33 PM |
What’s the backstory behind that question, R279?
by Anonymous | reply 280 | July 27, 2025 12:17 AM |
Slap my face and call my ass a communist
by Anonymous | reply 281 | July 27, 2025 1:04 AM |
You sure don't hear anyone complaining about their piles these days.
by Anonymous | reply 282 | July 27, 2025 1:13 AM |
R280 Sex roles: men stood to pee and sat to shit. To sit to pee was not masculine and in the example, an imputation of homosexuality.
by Anonymous | reply 283 | July 27, 2025 7:55 AM |
"This food is too spicy."
by Anonymous | reply 284 | July 27, 2025 8:48 AM |
Slacks.
by Anonymous | reply 285 | July 27, 2025 10:17 AM |
His tattoos spoil it for me.
by Anonymous | reply 286 | July 27, 2025 11:41 AM |
Only fairies wear their hair long
by Anonymous | reply 287 | July 27, 2025 1:38 PM |
I was on the phone with the widow of an old friend a few days ago. I order her groceries for delivery as she's unable to use her PC well due to a stroke. After we'd finished her grocery order the subject got off on medications we take. We spent the next 15 minutes going over all our daily medications. I finally said "do you realize how damn old we sound?". She said "well, we are old". LOL
by Anonymous | reply 288 | July 27, 2025 2:22 PM |
Phone rings.
Old person picks up: Hi. Hold on a sec. Let me turn down the radio.
by Anonymous | reply 289 | July 27, 2025 3:25 PM |
R186, I still use curious like that. (Also, of course, the other way too.)
by Anonymous | reply 290 | July 27, 2025 3:28 PM |
Shut the door! You'll catch your death of a cold!
by Anonymous | reply 291 | July 27, 2025 3:39 PM |
[quote]Hold on a sec. Let me turn down the radio.
On the plus side, you didn't say 'wireless.'
by Anonymous | reply 292 | July 27, 2025 4:37 PM |
My dad called it the "hi fi."
by Anonymous | reply 293 | July 27, 2025 5:00 PM |
“Don’t go out with your hair wet! You’ll catch peumonia!”
by Anonymous | reply 294 | July 27, 2025 5:04 PM |
The wringer on my worsher broke.
by Anonymous | reply 295 | July 27, 2025 5:04 PM |
[quote]My dad called it the "hi fi."
Calling it the hi-fi years after anyone else used that term was a step up for my father. He previously called it "the Victrola."
by Anonymous | reply 296 | July 27, 2025 10:51 PM |
"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist - But he is NOT a porn star!"
by Anonymous | reply 297 | July 27, 2025 11:37 PM |
Slacks deserves another mention.
by Anonymous | reply 298 | July 28, 2025 1:02 AM |
Put on your snazzy duds! I'm taking you somewhere nice!
by Anonymous | reply 299 | July 28, 2025 1:44 AM |
I see you’re wearing those old clodhoppers.
by Anonymous | reply 300 | July 28, 2025 1:51 AM |
Music today is too loud.
by Anonymous | reply 301 | July 28, 2025 2:08 AM |
Do you have any of those Karen Carpenter CDs?
by Anonymous | reply 302 | July 28, 2025 2:11 AM |
Love your Safari jacket and shorts!!!!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 303 | July 28, 2025 4:20 AM |
Making the Sign of the Cross whilst intoning: “Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, and Watch.”
Also from my Uncle Pete, a very big man with a very big appetite who’d push himself back from the table after a huge holiday meal and say, “That’ll hold me until I get to a diner.” I couldn’t figure out how he got behind the wheel of his car and steered (there were no tilt steering wheels then) because was so fat.
by Anonymous | reply 304 | July 28, 2025 10:57 AM |
Said by old me many times of late.
"That's not music, that's noise".
by Anonymous | reply 305 | July 28, 2025 11:55 AM |
"That's not music, that's n----r noise."
by Anonymous | reply 306 | July 28, 2025 12:05 PM |
"You'll never have to regret an unspoken word."
I do think there are exceptions to that if, in hindsight, you could have, but didn't, say something kind and nice to someone.
by Anonymous | reply 307 | July 28, 2025 12:14 PM |
"Gracious sakes alive!" - Said whenever bad news was shared
"You caught a cold because you weren't wearing an undershirt." You could NOT convince my mother that colds came from germs. It was either the missing undershirt or you went outside with your hair wet.
"I grew up on a farm and I know where babies come from. I won't have my cat (female) fixed. She goes outside but I keep an eye on her." The cat my grandmother was 'watching' was a whore, darlin. She'd routinely have a ittter of 8 or 9 kittens that my grandmother would take care of.
by Anonymous | reply 308 | July 28, 2025 1:10 PM |
Old southern women say "well I swan" to express surprise at something they've heard.
by Anonymous | reply 309 | July 28, 2025 5:12 PM |
Genteel old Southern ladies say "I swan" instead of "I swear."
by Anonymous | reply 310 | July 28, 2025 5:17 PM |
Wear a condom.
by Anonymous | reply 311 | July 28, 2025 5:31 PM |
A closed mouth catches no flies
by Anonymous | reply 312 | July 28, 2025 5:40 PM |
I just set my hair...
by Anonymous | reply 313 | July 28, 2025 5:44 PM |
“He wouldn’t tell you if your hair was on fire.”
There’s another version, but this was the way my Dad said it.
by Anonymous | reply 314 | July 28, 2025 7:01 PM |
Wear a RUBBER
by Anonymous | reply 315 | July 28, 2025 8:29 PM |
Toss it in the ash can.
by Anonymous | reply 316 | July 28, 2025 9:18 PM |
You get mores flies with honey than vinegar.
by Anonymous | reply 317 | July 28, 2025 9:19 PM |
Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're dumb, than to open it and prove it to them.
by Anonymous | reply 318 | July 28, 2025 9:32 PM |
Better to be last and right than first and wrong.
by Anonymous | reply 319 | July 28, 2025 10:23 PM |
I just about jumped off my carpet!
Banjoes, please!!!!
I wouldn’t fart in his direction!
by Anonymous | reply 320 | July 28, 2025 11:31 PM |
My girdle is killing me
by Anonymous | reply 321 | July 28, 2025 11:38 PM |
"I look like the inside of a goat's stomach"
- Me but stealing a line from Carol Burnett portraying Starlett O'Hara in their spoof of Gone With The Wind
by Anonymous | reply 322 | July 28, 2025 11:42 PM |
Take the Town Car to the chemist’s and get me some Tucks pads and a styptic pencil.
by Anonymous | reply 323 | July 28, 2025 11:55 PM |
Why do people want to eat my excrement?
by Anonymous | reply 324 | July 29, 2025 12:01 AM |
She has a pretty face. (Meaning she's fat.)
She has a great personality. (Meaning she's ugly and dull.)
by Anonymous | reply 325 | July 29, 2025 12:25 AM |
She looks like 9 miles of bad road.
She's ugly as a mud fence.
by Anonymous | reply 326 | July 29, 2025 12:28 AM |
He’s very distinguished (meaning he’s an old fug)
by Anonymous | reply 327 | July 29, 2025 1:00 AM |
My clutch is going out.
by Anonymous | reply 328 | July 29, 2025 2:23 PM |
I can’t eat corn on the cob
by Anonymous | reply 329 | July 29, 2025 3:32 PM |
Mom: "Back in my day, teenagers respected their parents."
Me at 15: "Well not me so fuck off bitch!"
by Anonymous | reply 330 | July 29, 2025 10:54 PM |
Where the hell are my teeth!!
by Anonymous | reply 331 | July 29, 2025 11:48 PM |
"Everything hurts."
by Anonymous | reply 332 | July 29, 2025 11:56 PM |
"Get out of my way! I gotta get home to see what's a'happen' on the old Data Lounge! I bet those cunts are bitching about somethin' good like Vivian Vance or Cheryl's stinky cunt!"
by Anonymous | reply 333 | July 30, 2025 6:43 AM |
Good God, her breath would blister a brick.
Damn, his breath would make an onion cry,
He's got a face like the north end of a south bound mule.
That child is so nasty he'd gag a maggot on a gut truck.
by Anonymous | reply 334 | July 30, 2025 12:19 PM |
A homely woman was "uglier than a dog's ass."
by Anonymous | reply 335 | July 30, 2025 12:30 PM |
Another one I just remembered that my grandfather would say - when we were out somewhere and he saw a homely woman he'd say "looks like the kennel club's in town."
by Anonymous | reply 336 | July 30, 2025 12:33 PM |
It's raining cats and dogs outside.
by Anonymous | reply 337 | July 30, 2025 1:32 PM |
I'm dating Martin Short
by Anonymous | reply 338 | July 30, 2025 2:21 PM |
I can smell your nappy pussy.
by Anonymous | reply 339 | July 30, 2025 3:46 PM |
I'm hungry enough to eat the ass end out of a rag doll.
by Anonymous | reply 340 | July 30, 2025 4:16 PM |
I enjoy scrolling on the DataLounge.
by Anonymous | reply 341 | July 30, 2025 4:33 PM |
Hand me the Thomas Guide.
by Anonymous | reply 342 | July 30, 2025 4:39 PM |
Where are my legwarmers?
by Anonymous | reply 343 | July 30, 2025 4:41 PM |
Hand me the Sears and Roebuck catalog
by Anonymous | reply 344 | July 30, 2025 7:35 PM |
He thinks his shit don't smell
by Anonymous | reply 345 | July 30, 2025 7:37 PM |
Hand me the TV GUIDE so I can see what's on tonight!
by Anonymous | reply 346 | July 30, 2025 8:27 PM |
Are you using protection?
by Anonymous | reply 347 | July 30, 2025 11:59 PM |
Did you tape the news?
by Anonymous | reply 348 | July 31, 2025 12:11 AM |
An old whore was nothing but a former young whore.
by Anonymous | reply 349 | July 31, 2025 12:20 AM |
In my day, we voted for pedophiles to get lower taxes. Yeah, it’s called personal responsibility. That’s what you do when you love your country.
by Anonymous | reply 350 | July 31, 2025 1:04 AM |
E-I-E-I-O
by Anonymous | reply 351 | July 31, 2025 1:31 AM |
R337, is that no longer said? I’ve been known to say it on occasion.
by Anonymous | reply 352 | July 31, 2025 2:32 AM |
Well I’m 69. Here goes.
“Don’t bogart that joint”
“More money than brains”
“I’m going to the can(restroom)”
“And don’t call me Shirley”
“Stay Woke brother and don’t let the Man get you”
“I’m on my way to the pad to get high and righteous”
“Can you dig it I knew that you could”
“Hey space cadet do me a solid” “why don’t cha”
“Catch me on the flip” “Dude what a bummer”
I still say this shit.😎
by Anonymous | reply 353 | July 31, 2025 5:51 AM |
I saw it on Datalounge.
by Anonymous | reply 354 | July 31, 2025 7:33 AM |
I ordered it from Lillian Vernon!
by Anonymous | reply 355 | July 31, 2025 8:05 AM |
R353 I can dig what you are laying down.
by Anonymous | reply 356 | July 31, 2025 9:48 AM |
Suicide.
by Anonymous | reply 357 | July 31, 2025 10:09 AM |
I never believed to stop believing. I bristled a bit about the fucking Lord's Prayer in school, my sister-in-law agreed and explained that she was an atheist. Later, by age 10 or 11 I had seen a TV interview with Madalyn Murray O'Hair and for a few years was a bit uppity about being an atheist and speaking out against anything that forced a religious perspective upon things.
My father almost certainly never saw the interior of a church unless it was a wedding. My mother's family had helped finance Methodism in the U.S. in the18thC, but she was on again and off again about church services. It was a place to trot out some new clothes or make herself useful by ferrying various old women about, purely a social thing. When I told my parents I was an atheist I had to attend one church service. My father and I sat and ate one or maybe two rolls of Lifesaver candies and giggled and fidgeted, then my father made blasphemous and funny various churchisms on the drive home and we never talked about it again.
I dropped my very mild case of atheist activism soon enough. In college, away from a hick town, religion is usually something that people are from, and which many have parted ways. After that I never met very many religious sorts. Ex-priests in plenitude, yes, actively religious people, no.
Zealots think that not believing is something difficult, but it's the easiest thing in the world. It's like not believing that you were reincarnated of a refrigerator in another life. It doesn't take much time out of the day.
by Anonymous | reply 358 | July 31, 2025 4:23 PM |
R358 = Things Old People Say in the wrong thread.
by Anonymous | reply 360 | July 31, 2025 4:46 PM |
"Why can't we say Oriental anymore?"
by Anonymous | reply 361 | July 31, 2025 4:46 PM |
I paid off my student loan in ten years. It meant having a roommate and taking no vacations and having a second job but I did it.
by Anonymous | reply 362 | July 31, 2025 5:16 PM |
Your fucking student loan was $10,000. You can fuck right off to hell in a handbasket.
by Anonymous | reply 363 | July 31, 2025 5:27 PM |
Better still, you could still lose them in a bankruptcy proceeding back then.
Pay it off in zero years.
by Anonymous | reply 364 | July 31, 2025 5:30 PM |
It was 80,000. Please do to yourself what you just advised me to do
by Anonymous | reply 365 | July 31, 2025 5:56 PM |
I paid off my loan in 1996--not dischargeable in bankruptcy. Keep making excuses.
by Anonymous | reply 366 | July 31, 2025 6:04 PM |
Only $80,000?
by Anonymous | reply 367 | July 31, 2025 6:05 PM |
It was enough for me.
by Anonymous | reply 368 | July 31, 2025 6:07 PM |
[quote]It meant having a roommate and taking no vacations and having a second job but I did it.
No thank you, I prefer to live like a white person.
by Anonymous | reply 369 | July 31, 2025 6:12 PM |
Good example of a racist statement by an old person.
by Anonymous | reply 370 | July 31, 2025 6:51 PM |
[quote]Things old people said
I've got a catch in my get-along.
by Anonymous | reply 371 | July 31, 2025 7:02 PM |
Those Spanish people just want free everything!
by Anonymous | reply 372 | July 31, 2025 7:33 PM |
And every day I eat a plum.
by Anonymous | reply 373 | July 31, 2025 7:44 PM |
"Would you like a piece of hard candy?"
by Anonymous | reply 374 | July 31, 2025 10:07 PM |
R358, you’re confused
by Anonymous | reply 375 | July 31, 2025 10:22 PM |
R374 The strawberry ones with the filling
by Anonymous | reply 376 | July 31, 2025 10:42 PM |
Old ladies call soap operas "my stories"
by Anonymous | reply 377 | July 31, 2025 10:47 PM |
FOUR prunes, Mildred?
by Anonymous | reply 378 | July 31, 2025 11:09 PM |
R377, has been mentioned over and over in this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 379 | July 31, 2025 11:35 PM |
“That fine-lookin’ mullatah woman with the nice teeth”
An older friend describing (because he couldn’t remember her name) Miss Warwick.
by Anonymous | reply 380 | August 1, 2025 12:20 AM |
Mine cunny stinketh.
by Anonymous | reply 381 | August 1, 2025 12:32 AM |
"That's mighty white of you."
by Anonymous | reply 382 | August 1, 2025 3:20 AM |
I'm free, white, and twenty-one.
by Anonymous | reply 383 | August 1, 2025 3:28 AM |
I remember when .........
by Anonymous | reply 384 | August 1, 2025 3:42 AM |
[quote]FOUR prunes, Mildred?
The trouble with prunes is, you never know how many to serve. Are three enough? Are six too many?
by Anonymous | reply 385 | August 1, 2025 3:44 AM |
I had an uncle by marriage who served time in prison for desertion during WW2. This made it hard for him to find a job but he did and worked his entire life for the same man. He became an alcoholic and his boss stood by him while he was recovery and supported his sobriety. Though he always spoke of him with gratitude and affection, I never heard him call this man by name. He always called him 'the Jew'.
by Anonymous | reply 386 | August 1, 2025 3:58 AM |
"Back in my day, there were only 13 US states."
by Anonymous | reply 387 | August 1, 2025 12:39 PM |
I'll take ten gallons of regular please.
by Anonymous | reply 388 | August 1, 2025 1:30 PM |
This thread sucks!
by Anonymous | reply 389 | August 1, 2025 1:33 PM |
I drove all the way here with my brights on (high beams)
I have to check the machine (voice mail)
Everything below 14th Street is “the Village” (Greenwich Village, which it’s not)
by Anonymous | reply 390 | August 1, 2025 1:49 PM |
Do you give Green Stamps?
by Anonymous | reply 391 | August 1, 2025 1:52 PM |
When a woman was upset she had her "tit in wringer".
by Anonymous | reply 392 | August 1, 2025 2:09 PM |
"tit in A wringer"
by Anonymous | reply 393 | August 1, 2025 2:10 PM |
We're pissing on ice now!
We're in clover now!
You're gonna be fartin' through silk!
We're riding high on the hog this year!
by Anonymous | reply 394 | August 1, 2025 4:02 PM |
R389 "Back in my day, wives never sucked their husbands' dicks so I had to suck my own dick."
by Anonymous | reply 395 | August 1, 2025 5:31 PM |
"Fill her up with Ethyl, please!"
by Anonymous | reply 396 | August 2, 2025 12:54 AM |
When they order something they say, “Give me.”
“Give me 5 Big Macs and a large fry.”
by Anonymous | reply 397 | August 2, 2025 1:11 AM |
R131 - "takes more juice to reactivate the light" ... That's true for fluorescent lights, not so much for incandescent, and not true at all for LEDs.
by Anonymous | reply 398 | August 2, 2025 1:13 AM |
"I think I may be coming down with the grippe."
by Anonymous | reply 399 | August 2, 2025 2:28 AM |
Ass up, kid.
by Anonymous | reply 400 | August 2, 2025 2:55 AM |
Regular or unleaded?
by Anonymous | reply 401 | August 2, 2025 4:41 AM |
You should get a job with the Post Office!
Think about the job security and the benefits!
by Anonymous | reply 402 | August 2, 2025 8:16 AM |
"You should have at least three servings of red meat every day."
by Anonymous | reply 403 | August 2, 2025 8:37 AM |
"During the summer of 1895, I showed my ankles to the handsome young man I was dating. One thing led to another and we had wild sex with our clothes on. That's how your grandmother was born."
by Anonymous | reply 404 | August 2, 2025 9:23 PM |
R402 I actually had that said to me by Grandma and my aunts.
They didn't understand why anyone would go to college, though I also think it was partly, "well, we're working class folks and college is above our station"
Of course, they all had 8th grade educations.
by Anonymous | reply 405 | August 2, 2025 9:41 PM |
Remember the phrase "my old stomping grounds"? Do people still say this, now?
by Anonymous | reply 406 | August 11, 2025 5:17 PM |
I’m not fond of the shit people say now as days. Like I mean I’m not.
by Anonymous | reply 407 | August 11, 2025 5:37 PM |
There are only 2 genders! Marriage is between one man and one woman! Don't use any of those pronouns around me, we don't do pronouns around here.
by Anonymous | reply 408 | August 11, 2025 5:44 PM |
[quote]Remember the phrase "my old stomping grounds"?
Actually, the original saying was "my old STAMPING grounds," but eventually "stomping" took over. Sort of like "butt naked" has replaced "buck naked," and "step foot in" is now used more than "set foot in."
by Anonymous | reply 409 | August 11, 2025 7:14 PM |
"My back hurts."
by Anonymous | reply 410 | August 11, 2025 9:54 PM |
"I read somewhere"
by Anonymous | reply 411 | August 11, 2025 9:57 PM |
Yes, R411, I understand most old people know how to read.
by Anonymous | reply 412 | August 11, 2025 10:11 PM |
R412 is triggered.
Sorry Gramps, that's just not a phrase younger people use. One could argue a lot of older people are illiterate by comparison.
by Anonymous | reply 413 | August 11, 2025 10:19 PM |
I have retirement savings. I worked hard, earned promotions, and planned for my future.
by Anonymous | reply 414 | August 12, 2025 12:27 PM |
I'm a home owner.
I got another promotion at work.
We took 4 vacations last year.
I need to renew my passport.
Let's go out to eat again tonight. I don't feel like cooking.
I have one small tattoo that has deep personal meaning for me. No, you can't see it.
What are you reading?
by Anonymous | reply 415 | August 12, 2025 12:33 PM |
When I finished college in 1995 many old people suggested 'Pounding the pavement' to find a job. Literally just showing up unannounced at various offices with your resume and asking to see the 'hiring manager'.
Same thing if you need a place to stay, just knock on doors of nice looking homes and ask if they have any 'rooms to let'.
by Anonymous | reply 416 | August 12, 2025 12:49 PM |
LOL R416, my older Boomer sister still says that kind of stuff. Not a clue that is not how they hire people theses days. Even when I explain that to her she does not believe me. She thinks it just a small niche of employers that does everything on line. No clue that today they would probably call security for showing up unannounced.
by Anonymous | reply 417 | August 12, 2025 12:54 PM |
"Just check the want ads in the newspaper! That's how I found a job in 1975. I scrimped and saved and by the time I was 24 I had the $17,000 I needed to buy this house. It's worth 2.4 million today! You youngins are too caught up in the Instagram and the avocado toast to save money like we did! NOBODY WANTS TO WORK!"
by Anonymous | reply 418 | August 12, 2025 1:03 PM |
R413 = far too sensitive and defensive for the DL
by Anonymous | reply 419 | August 12, 2025 1:18 PM |
"Do you have enough cucumbers?"
by Anonymous | reply 420 | August 12, 2025 1:36 PM |
"It's waning men"
by Anonymous | reply 421 | August 12, 2025 1:41 PM |
"He has an old flivver to get himself to work."
My dad would use that term every so often. Jalopy might also seem dated, so perhaps wreck might be more modern?
by Anonymous | reply 422 | August 12, 2025 1:52 PM |
This thread makes me come to grips with the fact that I’m older than I thought I was. Not just chronologically, but culturally.
And by the way, I can’t stand that “step foot” expression. It sounds beyond stupid.
Another one I hate is when reporters say, “Take a listen.” Fuck me.
by Anonymous | reply 423 | August 12, 2025 2:38 PM |
“Sat on my balls AGAIN!”
by Anonymous | reply 424 | August 12, 2025 3:00 PM |
"Open that can of Spam - we can eat it with Cheez-Whiz."
by Anonymous | reply 425 | August 12, 2025 3:04 PM |
It's time for dinner!
by Anonymous | reply 426 | August 12, 2025 3:23 PM |
GOOD GRAVY!!
CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!
but only when they were 'in a snit!'
by Anonymous | reply 427 | August 12, 2025 3:26 PM |
Get off my lawn kid!
by Anonymous | reply 428 | August 12, 2025 4:34 PM |
Real quote, heard over the fence some years back. Spoken by a now departed - Thank You, Jesus - neighbor who is gone from both the neighborhood and this life requesting a beverage from her husband: “Harry, get me a glass of that nice wine. You know, the stuff in the box.”
We shuddered to think what the not-so-nice wine was like.
by Anonymous | reply 429 | August 12, 2025 5:12 PM |
The word “groin” was used euphemistically to describe any portion of the human body from the navel to the knees.
by Anonymous | reply 430 | August 12, 2025 5:18 PM |
The rug is dirty. Run the sweeper!
And when you're done with that, take the Chrysler down to the filling station and pump some ethyl!
by Anonymous | reply 431 | August 12, 2025 5:20 PM |
“Margaret, getcha sweatah. We’ll go down the bah and havvah coupl’a Pearl Harbahs”
Translation for the post-postwar generations: you’re in Boston and you’ll get bombed.
by Anonymous | reply 432 | August 12, 2025 5:29 PM |
Very true r416/r417. Over the years I've tried to explain to older people that everything is done online now. Forget about showing up to an office, you wouldn't even get past security. If you try to call, you won't get past the receptionist. It's all about applying on the company website and various job sites. Like your sister, r417, quite a few old people I know or have known thought that only a few companies do this and it's not everybody. They still think showing up unannounced and asking to speak to the "hiring manager" or "the personnel department" will get you hired right away.
by Anonymous | reply 433 | August 12, 2025 5:35 PM |
Shit on a shingle!
by Anonymous | reply 434 | August 12, 2025 6:01 PM |
The New Deal saved America.
We're grateful for everything this country has given us.
Voting is a privilege.
by Anonymous | reply 435 | August 12, 2025 6:54 PM |
My hairdresser is a fairy.
by Anonymous | reply 436 | August 13, 2025 9:07 PM |
Why can't we say Oriental anymore?
by Anonymous | reply 437 | August 13, 2025 9:27 PM |
R130 I am probably old too but i also think that saying some things out loud will somehow jinx it.
by Anonymous | reply 438 | August 13, 2025 9:33 PM |
[quote]Why can't we say Oriental anymore?
You can if you're talking about rugs.
by Anonymous | reply 439 | August 14, 2025 9:00 AM |
To gays: why are you allowed to be you and I’m not allowed to be me? (Prejudiced)
- Jay Pritchett
Fictional character but very true old guy statement
by Anonymous | reply 440 | August 14, 2025 10:38 AM |
I hate the Japs!
by Anonymous | reply 441 | August 14, 2025 12:42 PM |
I never heard that in my life even from my uncles who fought in the Pacific.
by Anonymous | reply 442 | August 14, 2025 1:51 PM |
R442 If you never heard it, then it was never said because only your experience of life matters.
by Anonymous | reply 443 | August 14, 2025 2:55 PM |
"Do you know where I put my gummies?"
by Anonymous | reply 444 | August 14, 2025 3:20 PM |
No, the remark about Japanese is something you imagined people said in the 40s. Maybe they did. But not in the 60s.
by Anonymous | reply 445 | August 14, 2025 4:10 PM |
I heard "Japs" from the WWII generation all the time, into the 90s/2000s.
by Anonymous | reply 446 | August 14, 2025 4:39 PM |
R37 "My grandmother was an old person of 96 when she died in 1981. She called automobiles “machines.”
My DL friend R37 was a kid in 1981. He calls cars automobiles.
by Anonymous | reply 447 | August 14, 2025 5:34 PM |
My father, born in 1928, would only use the word automobile. Never ever car. He’s been dead for 20 years.
by Anonymous | reply 448 | August 14, 2025 5:44 PM |
R445 "Dorothy, look I called everyone in my Rolodex, I'm down to the Zs, that means it's either you or my mother and frankly, mom chews too loud and still calls them Japs."
@2:35
by Anonymous | reply 449 | August 14, 2025 6:46 PM |
R445 Paul McCartney's song "Frozen Jap."
"It was recorded in the summer of 1979 and originally I was working around on synths, again, experimenting and I suddenly got something which sounded very Oriental. When the track was finished, it seemed so Oriental to me and I thought, ‘I’d better get a really lyrical title.’ I tried to think of a suitable title and things came to mind, like ‘Crystalline Icicles Overhang The Little Cabin By The Ice-Capped Mount Fuji,’ or ‘Snow Scene In The Orient,’ but all the titles sounded clumsy. So that I wouldn’t forget, I scribbled down a working title of ‘Frozen Jap’ , you know, frozen being the ice bit for the snow scene idea, and Jap meaning Oriental and somewhere over in that part of the world. And the title stuck, I found that the ‘Crystalline Fuji’ bit just didn’t work. Now, I’m sure people will think it was recorded after that incident in Japan. We decided to change the title to ‘Frozen Japanese’ for the album release in Japan, Since we didn’t want to offend anyone over there. But when the Japanese were told of the album ‘s track listing, they went spare. They thought it was connected with the fact that I had been busted there. They regard it as an incredible slur."
by Anonymous | reply 450 | August 14, 2025 6:51 PM |
I thought he was smarter than that. Perhaps not
by Anonymous | reply 451 | August 14, 2025 9:11 PM |
"You're lesbians? Yeah, we had cows like that on our farm when I was a little boy."
by Anonymous | reply 452 | August 14, 2025 10:36 PM |
I'll have a Zanka.
by Anonymous | reply 453 | August 14, 2025 11:26 PM |
I've only had 5 or 6 drinks. I'm ok to drive.
by Anonymous | reply 455 | August 14, 2025 11:38 PM |
I can still feel a draft.
by Anonymous | reply 456 | August 15, 2025 3:08 AM |
I'm on a fixed income!
by Anonymous | reply 457 | August 15, 2025 3:12 AM |
I need to go to Sears Roebuck and by myself a nice pair of dungarees.
by Anonymous | reply 458 | August 15, 2025 3:30 AM |
It's a small world.
by Anonymous | reply 459 | August 15, 2025 3:33 AM |
“It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind….”
by Anonymous | reply 460 | August 15, 2025 3:46 AM |
Using the word ambitious as a pejorative.
by Anonymous | reply 461 | August 15, 2025 3:52 AM |
“She thinks so ambitious, keeping all her teeth!”
by Anonymous | reply 462 | August 15, 2025 3:56 AM |
Here, R462, your sentence is ambitious but ultimately fails.
by Anonymous | reply 463 | August 15, 2025 11:32 AM |
You’ve been a good boy so as a treat I’m going to take you to the ice cream parlor for a banana split.
by Anonymous | reply 464 | August 15, 2025 11:42 AM |
Speaking of parlors- I need to go to the Beauty Parlor and treat myself to a new hairdo.
by Anonymous | reply 465 | August 15, 2025 11:44 AM |
Then I’ll stop at the pizza parlor and have a slice since I’m in New York and they don’t sell pizza by the slice at out of state parlors.
by Anonymous | reply 466 | August 15, 2025 11:47 AM |
Of course they do, R466.
But not to New Yorkers. They can see them coming.
by Anonymous | reply 467 | August 15, 2025 11:57 AM |
Dear, selling pizza by the slice was not done outside of NYC way back when. We’re talking about OLD people.
by Anonymous | reply 468 | August 15, 2025 12:24 PM |
Fetch me my Pall Malls and my tumbler of scotch, it's time for Wheel of Fortune.
by Anonymous | reply 469 | August 15, 2025 1:35 PM |
[quote], it's time for Wheel of Fortune.
Or as my Dad called it, 'The Vanna White Show'
by Anonymous | reply 470 | August 15, 2025 1:43 PM |
[quote]Dear, selling pizza by the slice was not done outside of NYC way back when. We’re talking about OLD people.
Hon, we've been through this. It's not true. Many places all over the Northeast with large Italian American have sold pizza by the slice for pretty much ever.
You're still totally special for being a NYer, though. We're all really impressed.
by Anonymous | reply 471 | August 15, 2025 1:48 PM |
r470 your dad was jerking off to her.
by Anonymous | reply 472 | August 15, 2025 1:53 PM |