Let's Be 1995

I’m dancing in a club in rave clothes, high on X

I'm building a website on geocities.

I'm "The Brady Bunch Movie." Gen X is taking over!

I'm an incredible year for movies. 12 Monkeys, Casino, Se7en, Showgirls, GoldenEye, Party Girl, Heat, To Die For, Leaving Las Vegas....

I’m the Sega 32X making your Genesis console look like a robot from a 1960s sitcom.

I'm the sitcom "Bonnie," the latest in a series of attempts to interest people in Bonnie Hunt.

Like all the others, it didn't work.

I'm rescuing my reckless twink art boy lover from a glacially cold Brooklyn loft, which had cracks in the brick wall through which one could see the Manhattan skyline from the indoor tent in which he was barely surviving.

I'm High Society, starring Jean Smart and Mary McDonnell. Look quickly.

We're totally not Absolutely Fabulous!

I'm Fan Dancing in the music videos for club music. This will be the last year that I'm a thing, but you'll remember me forever thanks to Chris Kattan's SNL sketches.

I'm the Oklahoma City Bombing

[quote]I'm the laser-disc machine in your wealthy friend's rec room.

LoL, OP, that would be 1985.

I’m surfing the DL on Netscape! I found it on Alta Vista.

I’m high school girls who don’t spend $100s on makeup and unnecessary skin care.

I'm WINDOWS 95

I'm Newsgroup troll wars!

I'm the O.J. Simpson verdict.

I am COMPUSERVE

I'm a promising comedian named Jerry Seinfeld.

I'm the shower shot in my tricks bathroom. I changed lives simply by being in the right ho's shower before the shower shot market was saturated, so i could be all fresh and new, not unlike how your hole will feel when you're done using me.

I’m Kevin Spacey. I’m in four movies this year. See you at the Oscars!

I’m Weezer with your new earworm “Buddy Holly.”

I'm Samuel L. Jackson at the Oscars, saying "FUCK!" when I lose the Oscar to Martin Landau. That moment will forever be watched on YouTube, Tiktok, and everywhere else.

I’m denim on denim on denim.

I’m the see-through plastic electronics. Don’t you want an entire phone you can see the inner workings of?

I'm a small-fingered vulgarian.

I'm Babe the talking pig.

I’m short-fingered and correcting R25.

I’m the last season of Keeping Up Appearances.

I found this cool store called Old Navy, it sells surplus clothes!

I love r27 and will "live to regret it" - a timely and commonplace choice of words for 1995

I’m Courtney Love’s makeup compact. I had a moment at the VMAs with Madge.

I’m the Drew Carey Show.

I’m “One Sweet Day”

I’m turning 30 and feeling like I’ll be young forever.

I found gas for under a dollar!

I'm the date December 27th, 1995.

The day some MouseBoy was born and was going to take over Hollywood.

I’m Blues Traveler!

I'm Melrose Place and it's not what it looks like...

It's worse

I’m a Ford Escort and I have automatic seatbelts and only one airbag.

I’m peak of civilisation for the western world.

R32 I’m Mimi Bobeck! Gotta problem with that?

I'm Muriel's fever dream, which led to the creation of DL later that year.

I think we need to give a Best Director Oscar to Mel Gibson. This can't possibly age poorly.

I’m standing in the Works on 81st street and Columbus avenue being cruised simultaneously by good looking guys on my left and right . They lean into me and lean forward to try to catch my glance.

I’m the FULL forest 🌳 of pubic hair above most guys penises.

I’m Jeremy Piven showing off my chest hair on Ellen.

I'm a chair destroyed by Carny Wilson

R34-If you’’re turning 30 that means you are no longer a kid or youngster for the first time in your life.

I'm the Marlboro Lights that are smoked inside bars and clubs.

I'm "I don't care what he does with his dick, he's been a good president so far."

SILENCE = DEATH

i'm conan o'brien.

I’m the “smoking or non smoking?” question the host always asks.

I’m the High-Five, still generally untreatable in 1995.

Practice safe sex, boys!

I’m Don Juan Demarco NOT being well sold in this country!

I'm a scrunchie and a Friends poster. Sandra Bullock, Johnny Depp with long hair, a Nirvana and flannel shirt. The zipper holder for all the CDs. The quarters and cash for the payphone.

I am the better time and going out is more fun.

R16 I’m black people celebrating the results. Yes fair justice was executed but this is not about ether you agree or not with the verdict. The public display of cheering like it was the fucking playoffs is disgusting. It’s like black people as a whole completely forgot two black children were left motherless by their punk ass black father. And viciously so.

I'm the last year of semi-affordable rent in San Francisco!

I'm Fingers and Thumbs, Erasure's melancholy dance single from their melancholy, experimental self-titled album. Erasure in 1995 don't make much of an impression anywhere but I'm a good song

I’m Creep. Not the brilliant Radiohead song, the one actual being played on your top 40 by TLC.

I’m Grace Under Fire before the incident, so Quentin is still 4 feet tall and the first theme song is played.

I’m the Chicago heatwave 739 died.

I'm the Suzanne Sugarbaker Designing Women spin-off Women of the House. I'll be quickly forgotten by everyone except eldergay shut-ins on Datalounge

I’m MTV House of Fashions. The fact that I remember this proves I was a gayling, right?

I am "it girl" Chloe Sevigny

I am dirty and disheveled Dave Pirner, somehow dating Winona Ryder

[quote] I’m MTV House of Fashions. The fact that I remember this proves I was a gayling, right?

It was House of Style. Please turn in your gayling card.

I'm Alanis Morissette. You cannot escape my music

I’m it girl Alicia Silverstone. I coulda been the next Sharon Stone but I got fat. I could have been the next Marilyn Monroe but I didn’t die young and thus lionized as a sex and cultural icon.

R67 Ironically any records released by Alanis post 1998 has completely, without fail, escaped public consciousness.

Rent was easily affordable in SF that year. I had a thousand sq feet for a measly $1200.

I'm must-see TV!

I'm AOL dial up.

I’m no gay people on any mainstream television show.

The real question is do you want to go back?

Eh. I think I'm good. I never want to go back. Only forward.

[quote] Eh. I think I'm good. I never want to go back. Only forward.

"Forward" in the MAGA era means going back to far less progressive times than 1995. I was a lot happier in the 90s than I am now.

i’m the giant receiver on your cordless landline because mobile phones aren’t reliable and too expensive!

i sing for sugar ray.

i'm sexy as fuck

I'm the Big Three networks that dominate television viewing. Everybody watches us.

Not for long….

I'm the retro pop culture tees that can be found at Gadzooks and Spencer's.

I'm the chill, ambiguous scenester in line for an hour waiting to get into the Village Station in Dallas on Wednesday (straight night) after parking my car on the corner of Crime Spree and Crack Lane.

I’m in a booth at Blow Buddies—south of Market—sucking a nice dick attached to the man I’m still with today.

I'm condoms and HIV anxiety.

You’re anti-sex hysteric ^^^

We ignore your type.

I’m a dose of R83 and also moping in my cheap apartment listening to Moby and Annie Lennox after getting dumped by a boy I’d completely fallen for.

But by October I’m also the newly discovered gay Internet! Turns out Boston was in need of tops and I was quite willing to help.

I'm the screeching noise your modem makes whenever you connect to the internet. You're surfing the web at a blazing fast 28.8 kbps.

I'm your roommate fucking up that connection when he picks up the phone to ask his mom for money

I'm Elizabeth Berkley, polishing off my mantel for my eventual Oscar for Showgirls.

I’m Michelle Pfeiffer and I have the surprise hit movie of the summer with dangerous minds!

I'm WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE

I'm in my early 20s living in the hell of South OC and going to Batman Forever 3 times at the theatre because I have nothing else to do in this suburban trap.

I'm hanging out at Borders on a Friday night and will probably rent a couple VHS tapes from Hollywood Video for the weekend.

I'm arguing with Blockbuster because the VHS tape got eaten by my VCR and now those fuckers are trying to make me pay full retail price for it. It's not my fault my VCR ate the fucking tape, you fuckers! Fine, go ahead and cancel my membership! You're not the only game in town, you asshole fuckers!

R73- What about the character of Leon on Roseanne. He was introduced about 1992 or 1993.

R93 sounds like my mother.

We...didn't go out much.

I'm Chili's baby back ribs!

I’m the “sophisticated” middle-aged couple asking the Blockbuster clerk if they have Europa Europa. “You know, like Europe twice, but with an A?”

I’m the last hurrah of point and click adventure games (Torin’s Passage, The Dig, etc.)

🎵 there’s nothing I can do, I only wanna be with you

Believe in freedom, in our devotion, and all we need is a piece of heaven, we all need our FREEDOM.

I’m the new 1995 Ford Contour - a WORLD car, for the 21st Century!

I’m Julia Ormond’s career, going straight down the shitter.

I'm RENT the musical almost ready to premiere next year and be hated by future Dataloungers forever

Cab forward maybe?

I'm Katie Couric. I'm everywhere.

I'm mentally debating whether sucking dick without ejaculation can transmit HIV.

Yes, there was a clear answer: No.

I’m a chicken suit, hanging in my drug addict raver’s closet.We’re headed to Limelight later,

Once on the dance floor,I get drugs, blow, and sweat all over me, If I’m lucky, some jizz too!

And oh, I smell bad. Really bad.

Did you chop up a body that night?

I'm Selena... running from that crazy old bitch I KNEW I shouldn't have hired.

I’m SnackWells yogurt with the chocolate sauce in the corner.

Hi Constance McCashin R111!👋

I was just born.

I’m the Marcia Clark haircut.

I'm SNL's last gasps at edginess

I’m an IRC server. You can use me to find your favorite l33t WaReZ channel and download the latest version of Photoshop, along with some pr0n of course.

I’m the sound of a modem trying to handshake.

I’m the adult bookstore video booth where the impossibility cute boy on his knees asks if I’m “safe to swallow.”

I’m the Townhouse in Midtown, full of fat old queens with young rent boys and emaciated AIDS guys who look 80 but are probably in their 30s.

I'm dialup. 45 minutes to download one four minute song, if you're lucky and don't get kicked off because someone is calling you. Then you repeat the process multiple times.

It only took three weeks to download Madonn's latest album!

I'm R82 's mother and I have to tell a made-up story to my Bunco group about how my son and his "roommate" met.

R82 and his roommate Terry were playing baseball - no, not SOFTBALL - for the steel mill where they work. They became fast friends and prayer buddies at the late-night circle, and decided the best way they could keep an eye on each other would be to move in together. Now they can both save a lot of money for engagement rings when they meet the right women!

I’m the duPont lighter and the flat cigarette case from Shreve’s with ten Dunhill menthols inside.

In six years I will disappear.

I'm the big-budget flop "Congo," trying to do Jurassic Park with gorillas, and trying to make Ernie Hudson the next Schwarzenegger.

[quote]I'm the sitcom "Bonnie," the latest in a series of attempts to interest people in Bonnie Hunt.

I've heard she was a raging cunt behind the scenes.

I’m B list stars who are actually cool. I’m RuPaul’s daytime talk show. MTV was so ahead of it’s time.

I'm Dweezil Zappa.

I'm Marla Maples Trump, happy to be in a marriage that I know will last for decades. Our marriage and my husband's Atlantic City casinos are going to be here for a long time.

I'm The Gossip Show.

Peace, love and gossip!

I'm various colourful bath beads. I make the tub slippery so be careful!

I'm the fourth season of Homicide: Life on the Street. On November 17, there'll be a special gay hate crime episode titled, appropriately, "Hate Crimes."

I’m a 1995 Chrysler Cirrus which went out the door for around $20,000 new.

According to the Kelly Blue Book (US price guide for used cars) I’m worth $532 today.

Im Kris Kardashian, stunned by the excessive media coverage over the death of my friend, Nicole Brown Simpson, and the murder trial of her ex-husband, O.J. I thank God that my husband and I are not public figures. I'll do everything I can to shield my children from the relentless media attention poor Nicole's children have had to endure.

I’m The Adventures of Pete & Pete

I’m the cast of Friends promoting Diet Coke

R18- By 1995 he wasn’t promising he was completely established on a hit network show. You are off by ten years.

I am the unyielding power I hold. Being the 8th-hour librarian assistant, I spend my hour listening to the tea Mrs. K tells me about Mrs. R. They remind me of the two old ladies in Arsenic and Old Lace, and I look up articles about John Waters, Divine, and Mama Cass. To get through the last month till graduation, I ended the day by reading the handwritten letter my late bf wrote me about getting the stink finger.

I'm the Revlon Outrageous shampoo and conditioner in your shower. By 1999 I'll be discontinued.

[quote]'m Samuel L. Jackson at the Oscars, saying "FUCK!" when I lose the Oscar to Martin Landau. That moment will forever be watched on YouTube, Tiktok, and everywhere else.

And I did watch it just now. It was 1994 (not 1995) and he says 'SHIT!' not 'FUCK!'

I'm the 'creme de la creme' of 1995 - I'm 'the infamous letter' handwritten by Glenn Close in her dressing room at the Minskoff theater, and hand delivered to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber across town. Somehow, without the help of 'the internet', I make my way into newspapers around the world.

And what did Miss Close do when she took pen to paper on that memorable April, 1995 morning? She ripped Webber up one side and tore him back down the other for 'faking' the box office of Sunset Boulevard, while Close was on vacation. She let him know - under no uncertain terms - that she carried the whole show on her shoulders, and she single-handedly turned it around made it 'a hit'. She was highly insulted by him falsifying the box office for those two weeks when Karen Mason took over in March, and claiming the box office didn't suffer at all without 'Miss Close' in the lead. He dismissed her importance to the musical, and her contribution to making it a hit. "If I wanted, I'd leave 'Sunset' next month like my contract says I could", warned Miss Close. She explained she is dedicated to the thousands of people who bought tickets to see her through July 2, and she would not disappoint them.

Within a week, ALW sent her flowers and an apology, and together they held a press conference explaining their private communication 'got into the wrong hands' as they kissed and made up. How in the world did that letter leak out ?

R139 It looks to me like he’s saying, “Son of a…”

I’m the Blossom craze.

And later, the brutal Blossom backlash.

I'm Katie Couric, bewildered by the Internet.

I’m Now and Later candies, inexplicably sponsoring a dozen rock festivals nationwide.

The youths love taffy, right?

I'm Kathie Lee Gifford and I'm sitting on top of the world. My life couldn't be more blessed. Two beautiful children, author of a best-selling memoir, a music artist with a hit CD, cohost of the #1 morning show, entrepreneur of my own clothing line, and an adoring, loving husband who will stay faithful to me for as far as the eye can see. I can't wait to see what blessings the Lord has in store for me through the rest of this century.

I'm the Bettie Page hairstyle.

I'm Barbara Walters. I've always wanted to produce a talk show with four female cohosts of different ages, races and backgrounds to talk about the day's headlines and then a celebrity interview. I've been working on it with my producer-friend Bill Geddie, and it's finally taking shape. Over the next twelve months, I'm going to have to choose the women.

I have my eye on the obese black woman on CourtTV covering the OJ trial, and I think I can turn her into the next Oprah Winfrey, with a little fine-tuning. There's a loud-mouthed red-headed Italian woman who's trying to be a stand-up comedienne now that she's having a mid-life crisis. She's a possibility. Now I just have to find the other two - it's going to take a while.

Then I'll need to spend time traveling through America selling the idea to local affiliates of the network. By the time this comes to fruition, it will be late summer of 1997. But I won't give up - if I do it right, this thing will have legs and last at least 30 seasons or more. It will probably outlive me.

I’m JonBenet Ramsey your new Little Miss Colorado! Remember my name I’m going to be Miss America someday!

Hello everyone - we're Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews. We're going to put on a Broadway musical this season, in which all others for the past fifty years will be forgotten! It's called "Victor / Victoria" based on our 1982 movie starring Miss Andrews, and this will be Julie's triumphant return to Broadway !

We were supposed to open in October, 1994 but delayed a year so that we wouldn't compete with that Andrew Lloyd Webber monstrosity known as 'Sunset Boulevard'. Is it presumptuous of us to let you know now we've already hired a UHaul to carry our Tonys home next June?

We guarantee our investors this show will last longer than 'A Chorus Line', and even longer than 'Cats', which really seems to have nine lives. After Miss Andrews completes her run, we have A-List celebrities lined up to take her place. Celebrities such as Liza Minnelli, Raquel Welch, why we hear even Glenn Close is interested in joining our list of replacements now that she's out of work. So buy your tickets now, dearies, while you have the chance !

I’m the $275 AOL bill you have to pay because you exceeded their minuscule monthly online time allowance.

I'm Barbra Streisand, checking in with all my fans from Manhattan. I'm doing pre-production research on a very important film I've wanted to star in and direct for years. Something which has a very important moral message to movie audiences for years to come. If you're thinking 'The Normal Heart', you couldn't be more wrong. It's 'The Mirror Has Two Faces', and the moral message is that 'women can still be sexy and have sexual relations ' post menopause. It will take me at least a year to go through writers, cast members, and other members on our creative team, but this will get done for a late 1996 release, known as 'Oscar consideration time'. The Academy will love to see me go from ugly duckling to beautiful swan and 'get the guy' at the end, just like I've done in all my other movies. But this time, I'm doing it in my fifties !

Gotta get back to my pre-production work... Liz Taylor just informed me that she's turning down the role of my mother, the former beauty queen, because she's only ten years older than me. Now I gotta find a mother - I guess Sophia Loren and Joan Collins would say 'no', too. I wonder what that Betty Bacall is up to these days ? Remember her ?

[quote] How in the world did that letter leak out?

R140 Why is everyone looking at me?

I’m the angelfire website. My background is flames that make it difficult to read any text on the site.

I am hideous.

I'm Jumanji.

What the fuck am I doing in theaters?

Barbra really wanted Liz Taylor to play her mother? Hilarous. As if Liz could've ever had a daughter who looked like Barbra.

I’m home in my flat in Belgravia. Jeff and I are emailing one another. I’ve got a surprise for him!

I'm the floppy disk on which gay porn is saved after surfing usenet groups after hours on a linux running computer in my office at grad school. Of course, it's pictures only since it's 1995.

God, remember when we all jerked off to pictures? Pictures do nothing for me anymore, I have to wank to video.

R155 She did indeed. Imagine being Liz Taylor, just ten years older than Barbra, and instead of asking you to play 'an older sister', she asks you to play her mother ? Talk about insulting ! I mean, Bacall was cutting it rather very close at 18 years her senior. But ten years ???? Was Taylor supposed to be complimented by this ?

I’m the very popular Essence of Emeril

I’m Estelle Getty, doing Sophia cameos on any goddamn show that will have me. I only have a few months of lucidity left!

The role on “Nurses” was too much, but I had so much fun on “America’s Most Wanted,” playing an elderly Jewess who Black Widow-ed her way across New Jersey!

I'm Judge Judith Sheindlin. I'm a 53 year old supervising judge in the family court's Manhattan division. Someone from '60 Minutes' heard about me being a tough broad in the Manhattan judicial system and wanted to do 'a piece' on me for their Sunday night show last year. Ratings skyrocketed, and I became an overnight sensation. Now I'm in talks with them about bringing back the 'TV courtroom' show in syndication. I've been talking about it with my husband, and he thinks I should try it out. We'll see what happens. I dly out to Hollywood next week and do a pilot episode. If this goes OK, I'll be on everyone's TV screens by September, 1996.

I'm McDonald's fajitas. I am not long for this world.

R155, actually Elizabeth Taylor could have portrayed Barbra's mother. Barbra resembled her father. I wish Elizabeth would have taken the role. Lauren Bacall wasn't a beauty like Elizabeth; men wouldn't fawn over Lauren Bacall. She wasn't a coquette; and her looks hardened in the 1950s. I always admired Bacall, until I discovered her bitchy, cruel behavior. I was positively stunned that she didn't win the Oscar, then. After joining Datalounge, I know why it happened.

🎵 and now you got me singing I need you inside me tonight 🎵

R155 Bitch please.

I’m Are You Afraid of the Dark? And Goosebumps books & series.

I’m the Sony Grand Wega that takes up half your Hell’s Kitchen studio apartment.

I’m Princess Diana’s eyeliner during THE interview.

We are Amazon and eBay.

I’m the books bought from Amazon in 1995 that are still unread because it was just so neat to buy books online at Amazon.com, “Earth’s Largest Bookstore.”

I’m the airplane tickets bought from pctravel.com, a text-based site that could be accessed only by using Telnet on a Unix system.

I’m email that only works intraoffice.

I'm "The Rachel" haircut.

I’m lycos.com

I’m travel agent offices still existing, here and there.

I’m a ‘zine

I’m Christopher St. in all its glory of then gay West Village, with a bar for every kink and flavor you’d like in a man- but I’m fading fast!

When I was a young gayling, I once went in to the bathroom at Blazing Saddles with the swarthy bartender following me in, who gave me a great midday bj.

The whole bar applauded when we came out.

I’m BIG CUP in Chelsea, I’ll last forever. . .

I'm "Wings." I never quite took off.

I'm Ellen hiding in the closet

I’m the year the world stopped to many DLers.

I'm nominated for The Bridges of Madison County but lost to Hillary hater Susan Sarandon.

(G won a Tony for Sunset Boulevard which I turned down.)

R11 DVD didn’t come out until around 1997, so laserdiscs were absolutely still a thing in 1995. I remember seeing tons of them at the mall until the end of 1999.

🎵 cuz a two time lover, I’ve taken every chance on you, now it’s time to walk away 🎵

I'm 3 AM Matchbox 20 song

I am doc martens, smoking American spirits, rainbow gatherings in national parks, jolly ranchers, all night raves, sassy magazine, Oprah after school, toast of New York lipstick, and free as a bird

I'm Jessica Fletcher, is this show still on?? There are no storylines left. PLEASE let me die in a grease fire or rattlesnake pit.

I’m Boston Market.

R189 Boston CHICKEN

Boston Market used to be so delish. Why did they fall off?

I'm Monica Lewinsky, and I just bagged the big one.

I'm busy planning my upcoming wedding because I just know for certain Bill will dump that frump Hillary and marry me.

Wish me luck, my gays.

R191 When they switched from cooking in stores to merely microwaving frozen crap.

Panera is undergoing the same thing now, and it sucks.