Favorite backhanded compliments

If someone shows off an item and says how inexpensive it was - just say "Ah - cheap clothes suit you!" or cheap jewelry / other.

When shown a new article of clothing, haircut, etc.: "I love that you're not afraid to just be yourself!"

I hope you have the day that you deserve!

John Gielgud was a master of this in the dressing room, after a performance:

"You've done it again!"

"You've never been better."

Always accompanied by a vigorous hand clasp or embrace.

Sez you

LOL R4. Tony Randall said once that when he saw a friend in a play that wasn't very good, he would go backstage and say: "Well - that was really SOMETHING!"

He said he stopped when someone said it to him after a show.

How interesting

I was told the appropriate response to a theatre performance went you went backstage was Fabulous, darling, fabulous!

Just now heard of “bless your heart”? Well, bless your heart.

What a darling maternity dress... oh, sorry.

The classic backstage comment came from Estelle Winwood: "Oh, darling, if only you could have been out there in the audience with me!"

“ This is a nice car .. for you. “

R4 in the same vein I use "that was really something!" Never said it was something [italic]good.[/italic] I'm definitely adding "you've never been better!" to my repertoire.

Oops I just read R6, sorry!

You're a wonder!

God love you, OP!

In her book (No Bed of Roses), Joan Fontaine says her sister Olivia de Havilland said to her after a performance, "Well, that was really something!"

Joan then asks the reader: "Something is what?"

"If that's the kind of (dress, shirt, car, etc.) you wanted, you certainly got a good one!"

visiting someone’s tacky home: “somebody’s been busy in here!”

"Bless your heart" *can* be meant sincerely. "How nice..." almost never is, as the "...for you, you hateful cunt" is silent.

And Judy Garland's backstage comment apparently was, "How DO you do it?!"

"Well, look at you!"

"You're likable enough, Hillary." *smiles*

Once, when asked what i thought of a terrible show, i replied,.what did u think ..to a performer, who was in ithe show...i knew this. He replied, its My show...and i replied, it Sure is. It was Bad...my friends hubby kept giving out throughout the show and sayjng he was Never coming to a show again it was Bad.

"You're very brave. "

"I could never do that!"

Never knew that Bless your heart was a backhanded compliment

I’m in the South and I’ve never heard “Bless your heart” used in a backhanded manner. I’ve only heard it from one person and sh would be 82 if she were still alive. I feel like this is a phrase that has gotten popular on the internet but not used in actual real life.

This is R7 - for a moment I thought R8 was giving me shade. LOL

I'm R6 so switch that around.....I thought R7 was giving me shade.

Maybe DL should have a 15 drinks a day limit like Carnival.

My dementia-riddled mom would say if you gained weight,

“Wow, you really filled out nice!”

She would say it it with a wide-eyed, sincere and disarming tone that had the whole family howling with laughter.

After meeting my skinny mother years before, on meeting Dad's younger brother's new fiancé said, "At least this one is well-fed"

I get the shade in R30, but my mind cannot figure out the relationship: "Dad's younger brother's new fiancé"!

r31, soon to be aunt in law

Have YOU ever been into space?

Have YOU ever had an intelligent thought?

Along the lines of some of the foregoing, "You're looking prosperous!" (said cheerfully to a man) really meant, "You've put on a bit of weight, bub" a century ago. I've made use of the expression a few times (to people who had no idea what I was getting at).

"You have such a pretty face" (said to a fat girl)

That joke gets funnier every time you tell it…

"Oh, Lucy, that dress looks divine on you!"

"Oh, you really like it?"

"You know I always have."

That pattern is flawless, it just works on ANYONE.

Whenever people say bad things about you, I rush to yours defense.

[quote]After meeting my skinny mother years before,

WHO met your skinny mother?

[quote] on meeting Dad's younger brother's new fiancé

So.... your uncle's fiance. Took a little bit to wrap my head around that clunky phrase but that I got.

[quote]said, "At least this one is well-fed"

WHO said?

Who met your mom, and who said your future aunt was fat?

Learn to write and how to tell a story because you're terrible at both.

"Interesting."

Hmmm…you speak as if you know about this.

Stunning. And Brave.

I was thinking about "Bless your heart" in the context of a way of sarcastically complimenting one on their ability to remain innocent of reality. O.P.

To an overweight woman - "You look like a healthy girl."

Helen Gurley Brown said that to Demi Moore when she was trying to get on the cover of Cosmopolitan.

I once faced the ordeal of seeing a new, big-budget Broadway musical that was just... awful. I knew the lead (casually) and he had invited me backstage after the show, which was a big deal with lots of security and a long, long walk to the dressing room. That whole walk I was searching for something to say. The critics were not kind to him on his first leading role, but I honestly thought he did all that could be done with the material. So, I finally get to his dressing room and he is surrounded by People. He looked at me, very straight-faced, and said, 'Well, what did you think of the show?" I kept it honest and said, "I thought YOU were fantastic. You got every laugh that was to be had." He raised his eyebrows and gave out a real belly laugh, while all the People around him just looked shocked...

"It's almost as good as store bought"

You look like you have a good appetite was once commonly used to address overweight people.

‘Atta girl!”

Or:

“You go, girl!”

"I'd rather be with you people than with the finest people in the world!"

"They said you weren't fit to eat with pigs, but I defended you, and said you were."

"You tried!"

r12, someone actually said to me, "Isn't that a nice car...for you?!" In wonderment. As if I had stolen it. Note that it was actually a rental and was an older model Toyota Corolla. I did not own a car, and used public transportation, but he didn't know that. I needed it for a move, then a vacation. I was dropping off a mutual friend at her house and he happened to be there. He was Aspy, but also just an asshole.

You’re not half the jerk they said you were!

‘I think you’d really like Dubai.’

'My, that is a baby! ', when faced with a hideous newborn

I love the poorly educated.

Slap my face!

"Well that was certainly different."

Going up to Jackie Oh.

'I just wanted to say hello.'

'I'm so glad you did.' And then walk away.

“I love that for you.” And “Bless your heart “ is definitely a southern put down.

They sure are, R61.

Seeing somebody you haven't seen in a while and never want to see again.

Let's get together for coffee.

I love Katharine Hepburn to Ginger Rogers in Stage Door: "You appear to be an amusing person."

The times I was in Panama, I spoke Spanish to every single person -- unless they didn't speak Spanish, of course.

So I'm in a crowded elevator with a large white family (I assumed they were American) and I asked them where they were from in English. The beautiful, tall, thin, late 40's blonde told me they were from Argentina. Then I started chatting with the family in Spanish. The teenagers and I were having a conversation about school, etc., and when we arrived in the lobby, I asked the blonde in English, "So -- how's my Spanish?"

She replied, with a wry smile, "Not bad -- for an American."

Why, how unlike an Argentinian

Someone once told me “I’m glad you’re actually doing something” after I told them I had gotten my dream job.

“Fascinating!”

Have you told anyone else about this? What did they say?

"You look... unbelievable"

"Where did you manage to find those shoes?"

2nd best is still an achievement!

"Well, isn't this special?"

" Your pussy smells so fresh... today."

[quote] Fabulous, darling, fabulous!

Fabulous, dahling, fabulous!

FIFY

Right after college I got my first teaching job. A friend of my father said, "That'll do nicely until you can find a real job."

"Good for you" is overused, but still a classic.

When I was about 20, my half sister who I hadn't seen in many years told me "oh, you're pretty now."

“I‘ll be sure to give your suggestion all the consideration it deserves.”

“How precious!” for (even ugly) babies

“Thanks for letting me know you need to leave. How happy I am to see you go!”

It looks good on you.

Upon being told “I’m pregnant I think I’m going to kill myself.” Not only are a good lay but your a good sport too.

You are so lucky to be able to wear cheap clothes and look fabulous.

I love that you always eat everything on your plate, I hate people who waste food. Said to a fatty.

When i was in college in New York i had gained about 15 pounds. A friend of my parents was in town and we met for lunch. When we said goodbye she said “So good to see you looking so healthy!”.

" You don't sweat very much for a fat girl."

To a boor who is droning on and on about his latest hobby:

"That must be so interesting for you."

R41 When did you graduate from charm school?

I see what you did there, R87.

You're not as dumb as you look.

No matter what anyone says, you keep wearing that suit.

I love how you just wear *anything*

Allegedly said to another girl living on the same floor of their dorm, "I had one of those, when they were in style."

God, that was 50 years ago!

I reserved a very tiny room in a cheap hotel in Switzerland (think 5-foot ceilings in the bathroom). When I arrived, the desk clerk heaved a sigh of relief: "I was afraid you were going to be a great big fat American."

Does that come in your size?

Sean Hayes relayed a compliment he received (in jest). A female friend said ….. Will & Grace is the BEST…….you could do.

R95 Nicki Glaser told him that during the Roast of Alec Baldwin, several years ago.

This was told to me in a dream, my late bf looking so handsome in a black turtleneck and casual pants, picking me up to go out, and he says, "You probably want to eat first. "

[quote] Not only are a good lay but your a good sport too.

Oh, dear!

“You really must love that dress! You wear it all the time!!”

Have posted this before on the DL in another thread.

I actually said to Mario Cantone when I unexpectedly met him in a crowd on a cruise, "Wow, you look great in person!" (he really is good looking) to which he said, "Oh, so I look like shit on TV?". We sort of hit it off. He's wonderful, but I continued to accidentally insult.

At one point he asked how he comes off in person vs. his act. I said that I wasn't expecting to meet him (as if it were a burden, but didn't mean that), and then that I've only seen "That Show" a few times, but that I saw his stand-up act once while flipping channels and that he seems less screamy. Didn't mean to be so cunty!

R100 Mario Cantone is a drag queen without makeup. He’s always tired and always bitching about his failed career, but at the same time, he’s a shameless whore for his own career. Maybe if he didn’t spend so many hours shouting his awful Bette Davis impersonation, he wouldn’t be so exhausted.

And in true drag queen fashion, he both loves and hates his own few fans.

"That looks so good on you! I would never wear it."

I hate when people are passive aggressive like this. Don’t be an asshole and just say what you mean.

I got one: I told a friend that I just bought my first house. “That’s great!” She replied. “Next you should focus on replacing your old car.”

r101, this was in 2006(?). Haven't followed his career. Saw him and his bf several times during the cruise. He was intelligent, funny, and down to earth. Wish him well.

Am notorious for accidental backhanded compliments/sticking my foot in my mouth. My Mom diagnosed me as having a "peculiar form of Tourette's Syndrome". My boss, who happened to be gay, would put me on mute during conference calls with the CEO or Board of Directors and unmute me during calls with colleagues he didn't like or were presenting bad data ("I need you to be in full cunt mode"). It is honestly/usually unintentional.

R34 misses the point in some posts, it seems. But she gets an A for effort.

I had a VP in a large nonprofit who I heard say, "Is that a new suit/outfit?" to people on her staff who she apparently determined were repeating their work outfits too often.

I waited four years and, as I intuited the organization was getting ready to give her the word to move on, I said one morning after looking her up and down, "Is that a new outfit?"

Bang.

"I've always liked that on you" does the same with a slightly different vibe.

When I received it once, I said, "Thank you. I do try to dress to please you," with a big smile.

If one dishes it out, one needs to be prepared to respond in a way that suggests one not only can take it but also raise the ante a bit.

"Bless your heart" gets "I'm just grateful to have one."

"They told me you got fat! You look wonderful!" was favorite over the years when running into cunt relatives (the homophobes) I had managed to avoid for a while.

The apparent ambiguity had both an immediate and delayed sting, with a lapse lasting long enough for me to walk away, sashaying.

R105 I wouldn't sweat it. He's heard it all, and can take it as well as he gives it. Just not in bed!

r103 Sometimes saying what you mean is being an even bigger asshole.

Why? Because "saying what you mean" places too much confidence in your own personal assessment, which can be quite wrong, insensitive, and hurtful. Approaching things in a diplomatic or roundabout way when necessary allows an appropriate and humane dynamic of "if the shoe fits, wear it."