‘Jurassic World: Rebirth’ was ABSOLUTE SHIT

If it's so bad it's good I may have to spend $$$ at the theatre for the full experience.

Did you expect "Hamlet"?

I’ve not seen it yet but I’ve read two fan reviews that say it’s pretty good.

Has a mediocre to poor rating on RT from the critics but much higher approval from fans.

Crap, I just bought tickets to watch it tonight

I got tired of the Jurassic movies after #3 and when the commercials for this one started airing, I rolled my eyes. My 2nd thought was "Scarjo? Really!?!" I guess she is playing a hybrid of Black Widow mixed with Lara Croft. No thanks - I didn't watch either of those movies.

An ad ran the other day and it was some really crappy looking prehistoric orca looking thing breaching from the ocean. How any times can anyone care to see CGI dinosaurs chase somebody through a forest? Zzzzzzz.

They need to got R on these movies. They have giant monsters rampaging for 2 hours and there's no blood or guts. Ridiculous.

Jonathan Bailey can get into and attack my guts anyday!

These movies are all the same-man creates dinosaurs for an amusement park, they get out of control, then the survivors narrowly escape and say "gee, making dinosaurs was a bad idea."

Then rinse and repeat for the next sequel.

I don't know what people expect from this kind of movie, but I'm definitely planning to see it. Just not at a theater. It will stream soon enough.

R5 she’s no action hero in this one.

She plays a broke scientist (of some sort) in NYC who is offered $10 million dollars by the head of a medical organization to go into the restricted jungle (dinosaurs are now dying off and interest in them is wearing off and those who are still around are left on an island alone and Humans aren’t Allowed to go there) with some others recruited and capture the blood and dna of 5 of the different dinosaurs there to create a cure for all heart diseases. They found that there is something in LIVING dinosaurs that can help humans. The movie is two movies in one, with the first being this group who goes into the jungle and waters where these dinosaurs are living to capture their blood for dna and the second movie is this family boating near the restricted waters and trying to survive.

R3 yes I’ve seen the same. On Reddit someone even admitted it’s not particularly a good movie but Dinosaurs + John Williams iconic and nostalgic Jurassic Park theme makes it loved by straight men immediately. And that’s true.

R4 see it and give your own opinion on here. I’d love to read it. I see a lot of people liked it but I didn’t.

I don't want to spoil my record. I've seen all the Alien movies, all the Predator movies, and all the Jurassic Park movies, and I intend to watch this no matter how shit it is.

I agree with this comment 100%

Phew glad I’m not the only one who felt the performances were SO BAD. I was shocked by how bad the acting was. Like who approved this?!

OP you WRITE like a TWELVE-year old

Gee OP, only the good looking guys survived your wrath!

OP, shut your DIRTY WHORE mouth, you rancid TWAT!!!

I hate that the kills are so predictable in these movies. It takes the scare out of them completely. I also hate that in every one there are a couple of protagonists (usually the stars of the movie) trying to save the fucking monsters even after they've devoured half of the extras. I mean, take a fucking machine gun and blow the fuckers away like it would be in real life, ok?

I just watched it tonight. It’s just absurd. Why do they keep making making Jurassic Park movies?? Stop already.

It’s a kids movie—the script, the music, the acting all fits for a terror movie for kids

I kinda doubt it's worse than the last movie, but I'm not surprised it's bad.

The first Jurassic Park film was a masterpiece. Truly one of the best in the genre. But we are never getting anything close to that again despite how desperately we want it. The studio simply doesn't care enough about quality.

I'm glad I decided to wait until it's on streaming. Anybody planning on seeing Superman?

Nothing could be worse than smug Chris Pratt and Ron Howard's daughter running around in heels screeching.

I'll wait for that as well r22.

Letterboxed users ranked Rebirth as #3 in ranking the Jurassic pictures.

I've seen lots of other users on Twitter rank the Jurassic films, and most of them rank this latest film in the middle (3 or 4).

A few Twitter uses do say that this latest film was the worst, but it's as if they forget "Jurassic World Dominion" happened.

Saw it this afternoon, enjoyed it, perfectly good summer fun and a decent entry in the “Jurrasic Park” genre, we all know what we’re getting.

Thought the dinosaur sequences were effective, especially the aquatic ones, the action scenes are all well-directed, pretty and exotic locations.

Special to OP: That Dad in this is indeed a hot number, good legs and ass, with a warm, relaxed masculinity. He is Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, the star of “The Lincoln Lawyer,” one of Netflix’s most popular recent series, headed to a fourth season. He’s hot in a suit too.

It was terrible

I gave up after Jurassic Park 3, which I felt was an improvement on Lost World but they took things about as far as they needed to go. Jurassic World was just terrible, so I was completely done with anything else beyond that.

Jurassic World was a blast.

I'll watch it with the sound off, no biggie.

Superman is next on the box office duds. Wait for it. Fem Superman and Masculine Lois aren't going to fill seats.

How many fucking dinosaur movies do we need? At a certain point it's just a money grab.

It’s certified rotten on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s sitting at 51% based on critic reviews.

[quote] Letterboxed users ranked Rebirth as #3 in ranking the Jurassic pictures.

Pictures? What century is this?

It hit all the tropes, included a dinosaur destined to hit toy store shelves (good luck with those tariffs, parents) and had the worst lighting during all its effects shots, you could tell they were on a set most of the time like it was the 70's Land Of The Lost. The moment they stopped for night, I knew we'd get some forced character development and, yeah, it was as bad as I thought it would be. I also am worn out wiith the whole 'billionaires are bad' bullshit they regurgitate on the hoi polloi when they are making their CEO's just that. The filmmakers also discovered Bailey's worst angles and used them liberally. Some people in the theater I went to applauded, one rather lumpy person called it a '10'.

I'm glad Weapons is coming out next month. I didn't want to see this dreck but my partner did. I'd have rather sia through Bring Her Back again...jfc..

51% by the critics on Rotten Tomatoes places the new movie 4th in the franchise rankings, within 5% of #3, and not all the overseas reviews will be out yet. It is very early days for the popular vote, but currently it stands at 72%, which is bettered only by the first two Jurassic Parks.

I saw the original Jurassic Park for the very first time a month ago, and the new one this week. They seemed to me pretty equivalent. Obviously you have to give the first one extra points for its originality, including its famous score, and for having the amazing level of CGI effects it did in the 1990s. But on face value, the depth of character was similar, the charisma and pluck of the lead actors similar, the cinematography and special effects similar, the science equally stupid, the consideration of scientific ethics similar, and if anything the action was more unrelenting in the new one. It went by very fast. Both movies divided their characters up into smaller groups for almost the entire length of the film so as to double or triple the opportunities for dinosaur attack.

I think the real difference, other than those I've listed, is that millennials saw the original when they were kids and it lives in Enchanted World in their heads. That's really sweet, but it doesn't make them reliable critics. The teens in my audience this week did spontaneous applause and some hooting at the end of Rebirth.

P.S. Question applying to all JP movies: Can anyone explain to me why a sole dinosaur in the wild would relentlessly pursue, for up to 15 minutes, a human being who hadn't tried to harm it and was running away? Especially when this necessitated it coming inside a building or a tunnel? We'd have about the dietary value of a gummy-bear, and there are smaller dinosaurs wandering all over the place like sheep just waiting to be dinner. Are dinosaurs inherently vengeful, and if so how did this evolutionary trait help them to survive for so long?

Jonathan Bailey’s collapse is complete.

Scarlett should have done the movie topless as her superpower are her titsies

The studio doesn't give a shit about the RT score. It's all about the BO numbers and so far those are pretty good. We'll see if it has legs.

I have tickets for Monday. Immersive Experience.

I expect to enjoy it greatly.

r36, you are literally clueless about film if you think the original movie and this are anything similar. Or you're an autistic Gen Zer and can't tell the difference between good and bad writing, which is possible. The original's writing is miles better. It combines serious concepts with moments of horror and comedy. There are so many famous lines from that movie. This was back when Hollywood knew how to write lines. Today it's all Marvel-level slop. Throw away lines that will get a reaction in the moment, but are completely forgettable.

Spielberg's direction was masterful. CGI was carefully used and the result is that all of the scenes with one exception still hold up effects wise today. The dinosaurs are not on screen very often either.

And yes, originality is important. WTF is that nonsense? John Williams created a beautiful, thoughtful score from beginning to end. If later movies use bits of the same themes here and there, that does not make them or their overall music equally good.

This has nothing to do with nostalgia. There are lots of things I liked when I was young that I find impossible to watch now. Jurassic Park is not one. It holds up. And it's sad that you can't tell the difference.

r36, and before you go, oh, they brought back the original screenwriter, there is a lot more studio intervention these days and Koepp's writing has taken a notable nosedive since his peak days. Koepp also had a strong book to base the original on.

But in every aspect, not just the writing, the first is vastly superior.

Wake me when they're eaten.

Miss r41 has stated her boundaries. Take THAT, r36!!!

Koepp is a hack and he always has been. Any good plot ideas in JP are from the book.

I was a huge dinosaur nerd as a kid in the 60s-70s so of course I was obsessed with the movie when it came out in the 90s. And yes it’s fun, but a masterpiece? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s extremely polished junk. It’s a fun popcorn action movie with good special effects. Nothing more.

The praise for the movies “big ideas” is such a good indicator of how trashy our culture has become. Crichton raised some interesting points in the book, but lowbrow Koepp turned them into bumper sticker wisdom, mostly uttered by dialing-it-in Goldblum, and everyone ooohs and aaahs about the films big ideas. Major facepalm energy. “We could do it but does that mean we SHOULD?” “Life finds a way.” How PROFOUND. My 14 year old niece could raise better questions.

The effects are great, the action scenes are a bit preposterous (especially in the end) but still thrilling. Writing is trash.

Can we stop fooling ourselves that the first movie is Citizen Kane and the sequels are all Kindergarten Cop?

[quote]extremely polished junk

Pics please.

^^^ not-so-stealth scat troll

I saw this yesterday. I hadn’t seen ANY of these sequels, only the original when it was in theaters 30+ years ago, which I thought was great. I thought this was ok. The plot was basic, filled with tropes and had WAY too many “convenient” twists.

That said, it was at least enjoyable. The dinosaurs were fun and it hummed along. Most of the criticisms I saw related to franchise fatigue, but since that didn’t apply to me it kind of makes sense.

R32 all of these movies are money grabs. What a stupid comment

[quote] The studio doesn't give a shit about the RT score

Yes, they do.

How is Scarlet still getting work? She’s so outdated.

Going for Jonathan Bailey's close-ups. I don't need any dinosaurs.

Nothing against ScarJo but if I saw this it would only be for Mahershala and Jonathan. Hot men are always a draw.

I'm waiting for Jurassic World: Afterbirth

I wonder if Bailey is still "feeling the weight of history" by being one of stars of this drek.

"Question applying to all JP movies: Can anyone explain to me why a sole dinosaur in the wild would relentlessly pursue, for up to 15 minutes, a human being who hadn't tried to harm it and was running away? Especially when this necessitated it coming inside a building or a tunnel? We'd have about the dietary value of a gummy-bear, and there are smaller dinosaurs wandering all over the place like sheep just waiting to be dinner. Are dinosaurs inherently vengeful, and if so how did this evolutionary trait help them to survive for so long?"

You're overthinking it. Debating the "realism" is pointless. It was never realistic, so you have to just accept the built world where THESE dinosaurs definitely would pursue a human for 15 minutes.

You don’t think a meat eating dinosaur would keep pursuing you? That’s like you thinking a lion in the wild wouldn’t pursue you simply because you’re not bothering it.

R56 Exactly. And have you ever seen a cat go after a house fly?

Some of these franchises are catching up Friday the 13th.

I know DL hates him but much of the success of the first Jurassic is due to Spielberg's directing. And he doesn't do sequels (smartly), so all the movies that have followed are crap.

A prime reason Jurassic Park works (I couldn’t disagree with R45 more, apart from his trashing of Koepp’s career) is that Spielberg is, as the cliché goes, an actor’s director who understands how to ground spectacle in psychological reality. Many of the aphoristic, now‑memefied lines emerge organically from largely improvised scenes, lending them an authenticity no amount of rigid scripting could match. By casting inherently charismatic performers like Goldblum, Dern, Neill and Attenborough--actors who can riff in the moment (many actors aren't capable or are seldom allowed to)--the film expresses its themes with elegance and understatement. Those are qualities sorely absent in most contemporary prestige blockbusters, especially anything from a certain subtext‑allergic filmmaker named somebody Nolan.

[quote]And he doesn't do sequels

Except he did do the first sequel The Lost World which was terrible. Saw it once and have never been able to make it through a second time. Julianne Moore seriously sucks in it

Thanks you Rs 45 & 56 for providing necessary correctives. You pissy queens are over- thinking this.

I also had not seen a “Jurrasic Park” movie since the first when I attended this new one. I thought the first one was fine and fun, and I thought this one was perfectly good summer entertainment.

As a research project, I watched the second and third on Peacock, and found them predictable but with excellent dinosaur effects sequences. What struck me reading about them in Wikipedia is that virtually ALL the JP sequels have been trashed by the critics and they all complain about the same things — ludicrous plots and two-dimensional characters. And this included the second one which Spielberg (very professionally) directed.

This series has been around for so long that people who saw and loved an entry when they caught it at an impressionable age think all the later ones sucked. Whereas plenty of people thought the one they liked sucked too.

This whole series was merely a way to revive the Dinosaurs-On-The-Rampage movies from the ‘50s, with special effects done by Ray Harryhausen. “The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms” was a surprise success in 1953, and nothing since has topped the combination of majesty and pity the death of the Allosaurus suffers at the end of that movie. This whole series has been old wine in a slightly newer bottles nothing more or less.

And this latest entry is not significantly worse than at least some of the sequels. Summer movies by their very definition exist to allow willing audiences to retire their critical faculties for two hours. And this summer more han usual, we could all use the escapism.

R62 my mistake, I thought he only produced it. And yeah, it's a piece of shit.

The most jarring thing about “Rebirth” was that the product placement of candies/mints were so brazenly shoehorned into the plot development (Snickers, Altoids, some off-brand licorice) that they deserved third or fourth billing.

And the obvious cash grab of having a Grogu-esque baby dinosaur sidekick was a bit much.

Agree that Manuel Garcia-Rulfo was the movie’s best asset, especially considering how annoyingly his scene partners were written and directed.

They keep cloning these fucking dinosaurs and it always turns into a catastrophic shitshow. You'd think by now they would be like "you know, this dinosaur thing is always a real disaster. Perhaps we should stop bringing them back to life."

The the American electorate can vote for Trump, not once, but twice - people are stupid enough to clone dinos 5+ times. The former is way stupider.

[Quote] Except he did do the first sequel The Lost World which was terrible. Saw it once and have never been able to make it through a second time. Julianne Moore seriously sucks in it.

R62 Was it the character she was playing or Julianne's acting performance that you disliked so much? I didn't like the character of Sarah Harding and the poor choices she made but didn't find fault in the portrayal.

Perhaps it was Julianne Moore?

Jonathan was about to bust out of that harness.

Y'all go ahead and let the dinosaurs chase people and eat them until someone stops them. There. That's the plot, right? But we saw the very lovely Brad Pitt and the extremely hot Damson Idris in Formula 1 movie and we loved it! I have a crush on Lewis Hamilton. The movie was The Natural/ Top Gun Maverick mixed together and put in the world of Formula 1 race circuit. They went all over the world, and shot the movie during the actual races. It had just enough plot, and Javier Bardem was in it for gravitas. He was delightful. The movie was fun and had just enough tension. I had no idea how exhausting it is to be a driver or to be part of the pit crew. Jeez.

The reason this one ranked #3 or #4 is that, after the first, ALL the sequels sucked, even the one that tried to copy the first one.

There’s no sense of wonder any more. The plot is the same thing recycled over and over. People go where they shouldn’t and the dinos kill then

[quote]I don't know what people expect from this kind of movie, but I'm definitely planning to see it. Just not at a theater. It will stream soon enough.

Same.

R73 This is the kind of movie I ONLY want to see in a theater. That is the only appeal. Seeing this in my living room is a recipe for distraction and boredom.

Anyone who wastes their money on a movie ticket for this obvious steaming pile of shit - especially after seeing one of the unavoidable trailers - deserves to hate life for the 2+ hours that their ass is sitting in the theater.

LOL at R70, defining the moments where DLers are most likely to react with awe and wonder while humming the John Williams theme to themselves.

This was the first JP movie where the John Williams score didn’t fit. They played it a few times and it didn’t work.

[Quote] I don't know what people expect from this kind of movie, but I'm definitely planning to see it. Just not at a theater. It will stream soon enough.

I expected nothing and still thought it was stupid. Who comes up with these stupid plots? I feel it’s a committee all trying to figure out what will sell, rather than what makes sense

[quote]This was the first JP movie where the John Williams score didn’t fit. They played it a few times and it didn’t work.

If Edwards and Desplat wanted to honor the original score, they might have paid homage to the polychord (F♯ over Em7), ominous choirs, and the four-note suspense motif played on the Japanese shakuhachi in the opening titles. These are musical elements more in tune with the techno-gothic horror tone of Crichton's novel that Edwards seems to be channeling. That tone, though buried beneath layers of Amblin schmaltz, still persists as a substratum in Spielberg's film and Williams’ score, and the opening titles are a prime example of that

[quote]If Edwards and Desplat wanted to honor the original score, they might have paid homage to the polychord (F♯ over Em7), ominous choirs, and the four-note suspense motif played on the Japanese shakuhachi in the opening titles.

Shut the fuck up.

[quote]Shut the fuck up.

What is your damage?

R80 I appreciate the opportunity to learn from my betters ( R79 ).

Scarlett Johansson's tits were co-starring.

As soon as that stupid fucking family appeared I wanted them all to get chomped by the mososaurus. God, they were all so annoying.

If you don’t go see this you’re homophobic!

Jonathan is showing ball bulge. People do know that men have testicles, right?

Your statement is literal violence R86!

Saw it yesterday. I'm a huge fan of the franchise and was a dinosaur kid in my youth. This was ... OK. The titanosaurus scene was the only time Rebirth felt like a Jurassic Park film -- the slow easing into the John Williams theme along with the visuals of the enormous dinosaurs was perfectly executed. And the T. Rex river chase, which was in the original novel, was pretty good, too. The film plays the Jurassic Park hits, which are mostly great, and nothing more.

The rest was ... ugh. What made the film bad was the missed potential. Adding the family was stupid; they had no story arc and were annoying. Why were there so few dinosaurs shown? The film was marketed as taking place on an island of the "worst of the worst," but we never saw that. The D. Rex was an interesting idea, but it was given nothing to do. The third act is a total mess with some really awful writing. ("The helicopter's been destroyed, but don't worry, there's a boat that's somehow still functional!")

All the references to the previous films felt less like homages and more like Rebirth admitting it had no original ideas.

How long before they make a Jurassic Park tv show? You know it’s coming.

I just saw a short review that said this was like a slightly better version of Jurassic Park 3 and I felt like that was pretty spot on. Watching it I did keep flashing back to that movie. Thank god there was no screaming Tea Leone

3 was better than this

I just finished 3 and 3 is much better than this

That pet baby dinosaur in there trailer was a complete turn off for me.

[quote]Jonathan Bailey’s collapse is complete.

Maybe not. Maybe there's hope.

[quote] Box Office: ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Keeps Dino Franchise Alive With $141M U.S. Opening, $312M Globally

[quote] Heading into the holiday, the pic was eyeing a domestic opening in the $100 to $120 million range and $260 million globally.

[quote] That puts the film’s global start at $312.5 million — the second-best of the franchise, as well as the second-best opening of the year to date, behind A Minecraft Movie.

Were his and ScarJo’s characters meant to be flirting with each other? I couldn’t tell if they were trying to push a connection between her and Bailey or her and Mahershala Ali

R94 no one expected this to flop at the box office. It’s a massive IP lmao

She just met Bailey’s character but she had already known Ali I believe.

I enjoyed it for what it was but pretty much every sequence in the film was a callback to one in an earlier film where it was done better. Koepp was lazy and the studio didn't call him on it.

Psssssst, it's just a movie.

Scarlett gives off butch lezzie vibes in this thing

Just the trailer ALONE was absolute shit.

Everyone’s desperate for escapism and distraction and to get out of the damn house, where every screen and radio broadcasts how debased and craven America’s government has become.

Expect “Superman” to do as well despite critical swipes — people want to be rescued from this shitmire.

We’re all sick of reboots of any sort and superhero movies

The plots are too formulaic. Honestly yes the Alien franchise is also formulaic basically, but it has enough variety in its plotlines to keep you engaged.

I agree. The script needed some more work. Too formulaic. We've seen this before, over and over. It's not scary anymore.

The cinematography and music is nice but the motley crew cast of characters wasn't anyone you would really want to root for. Scarjo, some random nerd, a Rambo man and a random family, and classic evil bad guy. Yeah ok. They need interesting actors like Jeff Goldblum who can command a scene.

R104 there you go, get James Cameron to direct the next one.

So the whole premise was getting blood samples from the dinosaurs to cure heart disease. BUT they needed THREE samples - a land dinosaur, an aquatic dinosaur and an avian dinosaur. The reason was never explained. BUT WAIT. In the process of collecting the three samples, everything went HORRIBLY WRONG.

By the time they got to the second dinosaur I was just thinking about Jonathan Bailey and Rupert Friend fucking each other. That was the movie they should've made.

[quote]Everyone’s desperate for escapism and distraction and to get out of the damn house, where every screen and radio broadcasts how debased and craven America’s government has become.

Most people are just living their lives and have the knowledge that the government will change in a few years. My portfolio is doing quite well, even with the asshole in the White House.

The older sister is acting was very bad. When she went to attack the bad guy, that scene was written unbelievably bad. Scarlett being the voice of justice was very cringe.

That scene where she had to go get the boat, the boyfriend stays behind for some reason and him and dad are just watching her do it alone even while there's a T-Rex sleeping? After the boyfriend jumped in to save her earlier.

Then after the raft encounter with the T-Rex they magically had paddles again.

R109 the youngest daughter went to get the raft because she fit through the crack. The larger bodies didn’t.

It had none of the slow Spielberg suspense.

It had zero suspense. That’s the films biggest issue. No suspense or sense of danger. Ever.

They should come at it from the angle of believability. They never really examine how it would be to have everyday people react to dinosaurs being brought back. Wouldn't there be protest groups? Save the dino? Of course there would be. They never really inhabit what the public consensus is of living in a world with dinosaurs. Wouldn't there be dino laws? Outlawing dinos. Make it real and meaningful.

Well the Dino’s have all been left abandoned on an island by themselves and it’s illegal to get near that island.

Compelling backstory

Duh.

r109 "very cringe"

Oh, dear.

R114 They should have called it “Jurassic World: North Sentinel Island”.

Yes, no suspense whatsoever. In facts I thought why is everything happening so fast

The Latino family showed absolutely no shock and surprise at seeing the dinosaurs.

Also, no one had a camera

r120 For someone who hated it so much, you sure keep posting a lot to bump this thread.

Why is there a dinosaur in the new Superman movie and the foot appears to be the size of a small nation?

I wish the dinosaurs in these movies ate children like the shark in Jaws. Now THAT would be scary.

The dad of the annoying kids was pretty hot.

Really, R123? I'd have thought merely satisfying.

The dad of the annoying kids is the lead in The Lincoln Lawyer on TV, R124.

Oh, thanks r126. I’ve never watched that.

The hot dad, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, said this about working with Jonathan Bailey:

[quote] "I can see why everybody goes crazy with the guy. He's not just an incredible actor, but he's a hot motherfucker.”

In a recent interview someone told Bailey he could stare at a park bench and turn it on.

He looked dubious. "What, give it wood?"

The first Jurassic Park movie came out in 1993. They need to stop with the fucking sequels!

[quote] They need to stop with the fucking sequels!

That's catastrophic advice to Hollywood. The 5 sequels (not including Rebirth) brought in over 5 billion dollars in worldwide box office.

Maybe the dinosaurs come to the US and everywhere you look you have to watch out for dinosaurs. The dinosaur apocalypse. That would be fun seeing all the ways people adapted to survive. Replace zombies with dinosaurs.

I think you already have a dinosaur apocalypse, R132. It's called the GOP.

[quote]Why is there a dinosaur in the new Superman movie and the foot appears to be the size of a small nation?

What the hey, dude!? There is no dinosaur in Superman.

Jonathan and Rupert have wonderful chemistry together.

[quote]I was just thinking about Jonathan Bailey and Rupert Friend fucking each other. That was the movie they should've made.

I couldn't agree more.

Rupert dated Kiera Knightly for a really long time. Then t hey broke up.

I love dinosaurs and dinosaur movies. This one was okay.

The mutant D-Rex almost ruined the movie. Otherwise, it was interesting enough.

I will say that I hate Johansson, and she was very good here, the most I've even enjoyed her acting. Bailey was awful. He's not a leading man. He's cute, but not any good acting came out of him in this.

The Mexican Hot Dad made it worth it. Goodness, he is hot! I hated The Gen Z boy and was not rooting for his redemption. He should have gotten eaten by the Spinosaurs.

This movie really spat on the "Jurassic WORLD" concept, which is the only thing I like about the final Chris Pratt movie. They are all shoved down to the equator now.

How is Dolores going to survive in the United States? Filtered air and space heaters on her constantly?

[quote]How is Dolores going to survive in the United States?

She doesn't. She gets eaten by the Chinese neighbors.

r136 r137 r139

[quote]Bailey was awful. He's not a leading man. He's cute, but not any good acting came out of him in this.

He made zero impression in this. He could’ve been swapped with any generic actor. He looked like some random person off the street than a movie star.

I like Jonathan Bailey but there wasn't much to his role, he really had nothing to do.

Don't you think the awful pet dinosaur (toy tie-in) is going to grow up to be a horrible creature and the basis for the next sequel?

LOLOL! Acting? You wanted Jonathan to ACT??? In a fucking dinosaur movie??? Seriously?

[quote] Why is there a dinosaur in the new Superman movie and the foot appears to be the size of a small nation?... What the hey, dude!? There is no dinosaur in Superman.

Dude, have you seen the TV commercial where he is under a giant dinosaur foot?

Do you mean the Kaiju that’s about to step on a little Jack Russell terrier that Superman has to blow?

[quote]LOLOL! Acting? You wanted Jonathan to ACT??? In a fucking dinosaur movie??? Seriously?

Good acting in a fucking Jurassic movie??? Imagine that?

Oh, wait, you don't have to

I thought the Jello gave a particularly effective performance.

Bailey was boring in this. His performance seemed like he had no idea what he was doing.

The male leads were all satisfying to look at. ScarJo does have lovely tits. The Mexican family were completely unnecessary and should have been cut. The only redeeming part of their inclusion was hot dad. The eldest daughter was an annoying slut and the youngest daughter was like an autistic Dora the Explorer. The boyfriend was a total bore who should have been eaten.

Plot points that irritated me included:

▪︎How long they spent establishing back stories for ScarJo and the captain of the boat that went absolutely nowhere. Some people died. But what relevance does that have to the mission? To the fucking movie??

•Bailey eating the mints. Was it meant to be amusing? Endearing? It was neither.

▪︎The world's most incredible inflatable boat that withstood a T-Rex mauling it without even so much as a scratch.

▪︎The buffoonish boyfriend walked about a kilometre away from the rest of the family to take a piss. And unfortunately didn't get eaten.

▪︎The D-Rex should have eaten the little girl. That would have been shocking and memorable.

And while I'm on a roll, I had issues with the costuming. I did not care for ScarJo's first outfit - the white sneakers with the blue suit were just too Jelenea Dokic courtside at Flushing Meadows for my liking, not bad bitch mercenary. The teenage daughter of hot dad had sloppy breasts. As a gay man I'm not supposed to even notice but I just felt they were wantonly jiggly.

Set design annoyances included the absolutely fake shrubbery. At least make a fucking effort. My ticket alone would have paid for a decent real fern they could move from shot to shot.

[quote]Plot points that irritated me included:

The sloppy scientist at the beginning eating a Snickers and carelessly dropping the wrapper which sets off all the films’ events

That irritated me so much that I couldn't even bring myself to write it. Stupid, tubby prick.

I wanted the hot Latino daddy to make sweet, sweet love to Jonathan Bailey.

[quote] The sloppy scientist at the beginning eating a Snickers and carelessly dropping the wrapper which sets off all the films’ events

I thought I was watching a Final Destination film.

For those of us who have been fantasizing about ‘The Lincoln Lawyer’ who plays the Latino Dad in this latest (hit) “Jurassic Park” extravaganza:

He is 6’4” and wears a size 13 shoe. Just trying to establish scale for ongoing daydreams.

Manuel Garcia Rulfo is lovely! I have been watching Lincoln Lawyer. Good series.

Interesting, r156. He doesn’t look that big in Jurassic World

I never would've guessed he's 6'4," he looks smaller. I did notice he has a nice big round ass. A shame we didn't get to see Jonathan Bailey rimming it.

Don’t forget how the Mexican family all exit the speeding boat at notably different points, into dinosaur infested waters, yet all manage to turn up safely at the exact same point on the beach, at the same time. That was quite convenient now wasn’t it.

I don't believe he's 6' 4" he looks about 6 feet. Don't know where you got the information.

6′ 2½" according to IMDB

Jonathan Bailey expected to perform "Dancing Through Life" live at the Dolby Theater(location of the Oscars) on November 6. I hope he does the flip.

A backflip? Is he Benson Boonay? He’s too old for that.

Just went to see this. This is an example of the critics getting it wrong, and audiences getting it right.

This is actually a great example of a fun, fast paced summer pic. No, the acting isn’t bad. The characters get just enough development for you to feel a little vested in them. It’d be kind of stupid to put too much time and energy into that. This isn’t The Seagull.

As a summer action movie, there are some tropes we kind of expect to see, and there are also callbacks to the first movie as well, but all this stuff works just fine.

The picture looks fantastic. Effects are great. The action sequences are thrilling — very satisfying.

It was smart to have the movie split into two narratives after the first plot point — there’s more opportunity to just show and do more that way.

Dino nerd feedback: I loved the tweaks they made to some of the animals. Like the suborbital keratin sheath on the T. rex, and the beautiful pink coloration on the Coelophysis. The little leptoceratops was very cute and I’ll bet little girls will want a plush one.

I’ve never been crazy about the behemoth sized mosasaur. That’s easily TWICE as big as a real Mosasaur. But it is what it is.

Love the raptoropteryx or whatever those raptor/pterosaur hybrids are. I thought the way they are established as the primary antagonists was very funny.

Only thing I was a bit ambivalent about was Bailey’s scientist character. You get a very vague sense that he and Scarlett’s mercenary character are flirting now and then, but at the same time, Bailey doesn’t butch it up. He’s plainly gay onscreen. Not sure what was going on there but it’s a minor point.

It’s perfectly fun and enjoyable. If this kind of picture is your kind of thing, go and enjoy. I saw it on one of those screens that’s big but not imax-big. I’m glad I did.

r165 is so easy to please.

The romance between their characters was cut out as was the kiss at the end. That’s why they kiss so much on the red carpet, to sell their romance. It’s all PR.

Jonathan Bailey is openly gay r167

I’m sorry I harshed your deranged campaign to shit all over a movie you haven’t seen, r166.

I’m not easy to please, actually. I hate many movies most people love. I find those marvel movies to be mostly fan service, and snoozefests.

I know what I just said will make no difference to your toxic campaign but yes, it’s a very entertaining movie. And clearly a big hit — choke on it! 😂

I've seen it r169. It's fucking stupid. The retarded family should've been eaten by the Mosasaur.

Liar.

Eat shit r171.

[quote]Jonathan Bailey is openly gay

Does that mean he can’t play straight?

r173 I was replying to r167's idiotic remark that he and Scarlett were "selling their romance" on the red carpet.

SPOILER!

At the end, to outdo all the enormous dinosaurs of the past films, they create a dinosaur that strangely looks like... the monster from ALIEN!!! WTF

Also, among the many, many, plot holes, is this one: it takes them days and days, climbing huge mountains, crossing big fields, rivers, scaling down cliffs, etc. to get to the abandoned test lab, BUT, it takes them 10 minutes through the underground tunnels to get back to the ocean.... to a boat that strangely still works by pulling a start cord on the motor - not by turning on the engine with a key. Thankfully, they head out to sea in the sunset, surrounded by dolphins who strangely have not been eaten by the denizens that pervade the waters, but where? Where the hell are they going before they run out of fuel?

Additionally, the lab, which had been abandoned for many years, still contains flashlights with working batteries and a generator that comes on full blast every evening.

And the convenience store at the abandoned lab has shelves stocked full of food, especially chips, that not one dinosaur has eaten. I guess that they too know that Lays sucks.

I could go on...

So true r175. I thought it WAS the monster from Alien Resurrection for a hot minute. WTF? Total ripoff.

Is Jonathan Bailey's character supposed to be straight? If so, why does he never kiss Scarjo? He comes across as the most asexual human ever in a Jurassic movie. Even Wayne Knight in the original was sexier.

As mentioned above, the kiss was cut. There were also a lot more flirting scenes that were building up to it. I guess they went a different direction.

I think they took the kissing out because there really wasn’t any need for a romance in the picture, and Bailey is fine as a gay guy in the story.

[Quote] Eat shit [R171].

It’s so very very normal of you to go full-retard about a summer action movie. I’m sure you’ve got a lot going for you in your life.

r179 you sure are invested.

[quote]Bailey is fine as a gay guy in the story.

He is not playing a gay guy in the story. They still kept in some of the flirting with Scarlett in the beginning.

Why, because I liked the movie and pushed back when you told me my opinion was invalid? You’re not mentally well, r180.

[Quote] He is not playing a gay guy in the story. They still kept in some of the flirting with Scarlett in the beginning.

I mentioned that as a weakness in the story. I think they should have scrubbed all of it. The character is so gay it can be seen from the andromeda galaxy.

r182 you have simple tastes.

I thought I was the one who was invested, dearheart? Yet here you are, melting down because someone liked the movie.

I hope you’re getting the help you need. 💔

[quote]You get a very vague sense that he and Scarlett’s mercenary character are flirting now and then, but at the same time, Bailey doesn’t butch it up. He’s plainly gay onscreen. Not sure what was going on there but it’s a minor point.

I understand he was just trying to portray "nerd", and to come off as socially recessive and not particularly sexual in either direction. The character made only fleeting eye contact with anyone. It was effective in that the dino-bros didn't read it as gay: they read onto his character their childlike awe at seeing the first film in 1993.

Bailey is playing Cary Grant in Bringing Up Baby, right down to the glasses. Unfortunately, he has to play it against ScarJo and not Katherine Hepburn.

When the teenage daughter charges at him "like why did you push me? Why did you let me fall?' It's like bitch you're fucking annoying.

Watch how Scarjo is like oh yeah"you better not have pushed her" and then be pushed aside in this scene.

Badly acted.

[quote] the abandoned lab has shelves stocked full of food, especially chips, that not one dinosaur has eaten.

What's wrong with you? Everyone knows dinosaurs have to watch their salt intake.

[quote]A backflip? Is he Benson Boonay? He’s too old for that.

He does it in "Wicked" and is way better than BB's stupid back flip off the piano.

I haven't seen it in forever, but the original really was a masterpiece

Doesn't matter; it's not Shakespeare. People are going to flock to see it, so it will ultimately be very successful.

Two Queens...

Two queens who dislike a movie for which they didn't even pay attention to the title. Sigh.

IMHO it is one of the best of the series. And Jonathan Bailey is HOT.

It’s a hit! Congratulations, Matt Bomer!

In two weeks, Rebirth has made $529 million dollars worldwide at the box office. The production cost exclusive of marketing was $180 million.

A rough calculation of the breakeven box office is $450 million, which is 2.5 times the cost of the film without marketing. It should be in profit territory by now in just 2 weeks.

Congrats, Jon and Scarlett.

As the kids say now, wasn’t John Hammond’s grandson “coded” as a gayling in the first film?

Yes, he grows up to be the Jonathan Bailey character.

And when you grow up you might too, R199. That is factually incorrect and not funny either.

Glenn Powell must be sweating bullets that Jonathan is stealing all of his thunder, and box-office success.

Bailey is impossibly hot. It hurts to look at photos of him. I yearn, I pine, I die!

[quote]As the kids say now, wasn’t John Hammond’s grandson “coded” as a gayling in the first film?

Wasn't he like 8 years old? He was coded as a dinosaur dork

Saw it today. It was ... fine.

Not good but I've certainly seen worse movies.

What truly annoyed me was the family B-story could have been cut from the film and you wouldn't notice. I almost wonder if it was filmed separately as some kind of "re-do". They share strangely little screen time with Johansen/Bailey.

I think the family were there purely because it's an action thriller, and you could have twice as many dinosaur attacks by having two groups wandering different sections of the island. Especially as one group is very intentional and fairly capable, while the other is wandering relatively aimlessly.

If you took the family out they couldn't have had two different types of attack on boats near the beginning, and it would have been difficult to fulfil one of Spielberg's aims, which was to include the T-Rex attacking the raft sequence which was meant to be in the original JP but which Spielberg couldn't film because of the limitations of CGI and the budget in 1992.

Plus they always have to cram a kid into the proceedings and it was no doubt easier to introduce an entire family than try to somehow make a kid part of the dinosaur hunting group.

Does the kid get eaten?

The sequels are just being produced to market the Universal City Jurassic World rides. They're like the porn to promote hustlers.

Never, R207. That would keep a whole demographic away from cinemas. Besides, the little kid in this is one of the best actors.

[quote]The sequels are just being produced to market the Universal City Jurassic World rides. They're like the porn to promote hustlers.

Really? They make $650 million in three weeks from the rides? Where do I buy shares in that?

It was just too predicable. Extras get eaten, everyone else survives. There were so many times when people should have been killed but weren't. How can humans outrun dinosaurs every single time?

Also, I kept expecting the mother of the little dino to show up to reclaim her baby, but no dice. Ridiculous.

It's the seventh movie, and they're all like that, and they've all made a billion dollars. You expected that suddenly the stars would get eaten? Or the tiny girl?

The director should have been eaten

I'm watching for the hot Latin Daddy and if you tell me a dinosaur eats him I will never be your friend again.

His bulge is bigger than the dinosaurs.