Why can't lesbian bars survive?

We include reference links in posts such as this, OP. You've embarrassed yourself for numerous reasons.

Only 21 lesbian bars are left in the country.

What happened?

It's because of the patriarchy

Lesbians are cheap.

Lesbians prefer house parties with cheap beer. They don't want to spend money on drinks at a bar.

R5 how gross. No wonder they're desperate for ladies nights at gay bars

That's pathetic, R5.

Do lesbians even spend money?

Poor lesbians. Such a sad afterthought.

The smell of tuna in that pic R2

Casserole? Where?

I'm sure they'll blame a man for it somehow.

They hate on gay men and yet demand we carve space out for them.

The worst fights I've ever witnessed have been at lesbian bars. In my college town we had mixed bars, and it was the woman who were the worst behaved. Hard on the glassware and furniture - often got thrown.

And I bet those cunts paid for all of one beer, R14.

Gay men are the patriarchy!!!!!!

How many high-profile lesbians have just UN-COME-OUT lately?

Jojo Siwa. Fletcher. Jasamine Banks.

You never see gay men doing this for pussy. How sad for them.

The one that opened in Boston last year appears to be doing well but it’s branded as a “space for the sapphic, trans, and nonbinary community.”

Lesbians don’t leave the house and have less disposable income than gay men. They probably meet each other online now.

[quote]You never see gay men doing this for pussy. How sad for them.

Gay men are mesmerized by dick for their entire lives, they never think about pussy.

Maybe lesbians should shut the fuck up with their judgments about gay men?

Consider this a warning.

No longer an effective PR strategy, r17?

Is it more likely for people who are confused about their orientation to go into showbiz? Holes in their identity filled with the attention and approval? A distraction?

Lesbian bar death?

Failure as alcoholics?

Philly is opening a lesbian SPORTS bar this summer

That sounds like a real winner R24!!!!

Do they lick each others' pussies when their team scores a goal?

I thought Mo'Nique came out. Back in now?

There's been a very significant drop in the number of bars for gay men too.

In part this is for a very good reason - greater societal acceptance of homosexuality means people don't lose all their straight friends the moment they come out, so there is more demand for all-sexualities/'queer-friendly' venues where mixed friendship groups can go, and less for the traditional gay bar. Also, Gen Z don't drink and dating seems to be done mainly on apps now.

They all decided they were trans.

What an opportunity for a business expansion for U-Haul...they could attach lounges to their rental truck business.

The younger gen doesn't like to drink as much. Also, lesbian bars were never as numerous or popular as gay bars, women can't drink as much as men. Add in lesbian cheapness and there you go.

The last one closed in Los Angeles years before Covid.

I don’t know any single lesbians but even the ones ai know who are coupled up don’t go out and do anything. No vacations, no movies, no dinners out.

Lesbians are "cheap" because gay men [bold]make a lot less money[/bold] than gay men.

I already knew that was true, but my opinion was more than confirmed when, over the 21 years I've been on DL, I read posts from you guys about your travel habits, your cars, your homes, your bank accounts, etc.

I always tell people that I'm the best educated poor person I ever met.

There's a new lesbian club opening in WeHo called Sweetwater. There's a little bit of shade (backbiting) on TikTok over it because the owner (who seems nice and well intentioned) is ex-police. I dare anyone to wade in further on that

R31 Why not?

Sorry -- correction -- lesbians make a lot less money than gay men.

R32 They make less money because they're stupid. They either don't go to college or they get degrees in gender studies instead of medicine, engineering, business, computer science, you know, jobs that pay well. They don't think about their own futures and how they will not get to depend on a man financially.

Lesbians end up living lives of poverty because of these bad choices and then many of them end up married to men because they live better lives. Many lesbians never come out of the closet because they know they are going to have to give up heterosexual luxury and privilege for cats, nutloaf and shitty little apartments.

You type fat and basementy R36

And let's be honest, despite everything that has happened to the cost of living, beer is still not THAT expensive.

R36, I doubt too many gender studies majors are living in poverty. Republicans like to pick on gender studies majors a lot (notice Karoline Leavitt picking on "LGBT majors at Harvard") but people with college degrees do better in life, regardless of their major

I think lesbianism reached its apex in the 90s. The gals just aged-out. Now women ae bi or 'fluid'.

There's never anywhere to park with all the moving vans in the lot?

On a tangent, have you ever heard of lesbian bashings like there are gay bashings?

R36 are all those career sectors ones that gay men are known for working in? Aside from parts of medicine, and maybe certain segments of business, I don't encounter a lot of gay men in engineering or computer science.

And actually, contrary to what you said, I find it's gay men who latch on to men with money more than closeted lesbians do. Lots of gay couples where one partner leveraged his youth and looks to land a breadwinner, much like straight women do.

I agree that lesbians need to step it up and start being ambitious in smart ways but let's not pretend that gay men are living good lives because of good career choices. Many times, it's just good old fashioned whoring.

Tech and software are FULL of gay men. And those are lucrative professions.

Lots of gay men in real estate, which can also be very lucrative.

That hasn't been my experience R44 but it doesn't really matter, I think. Im not sure if seniorlesbian was complaining about being poor or just stating a fact that lesbians don't make as much money and therefore they don't go out as much as gay men.

If lesbians complain about being poorer than men then the criticism of their careers is warranted.

Lesbians are all about active group get-togethers: sports leagues, camping trips and backyards socializing.

Women make less money than men in general, that applies to straights and gays alike

Some census data. It’s based on married couples, but given that men make more than women and married lesbians have comparable household incomes to married straight couples, I’d take away from this that on average lesbians make more money than straight women, but less than men.

Regardless, hanging out in bars is not a good way to attain or keep wealth.

A lesbian coffee shop might be more successful. Women don't drink heavily and bars/clubs are more for hookups. Women probably want something lowkey.

[quote]Gay men are mesmerized by dick for their entire lives

This is probably it more than anything. Gay men often (not always but I would guess 75% of the time) go to gay bars with at least the partial intention to get laid.

I just don't think women (straight or lesbian) have the same mindset.

[quote]Regardless, hanging out in bars is not a good way to attain or keep wealth.

Tell that to the thousands upon thousands of gay men with $$$ who hang out in bars.

Let me clarify:

1) if you are a pickpocket, pool shark, sex worker or gold digger and also successful in these pursuits, hanging out in bars is a good way to attain wealth.

2) if you are none of the above, hanging out in bars is a good way of expending wealth.

Is that better? Or are you one of those people who confuses spending money with making money?

Elderlez why don't you take a break and go find somebody to lick your snatch. You seem like you need a good tonguing out.

What's your problem cunt R54? She makes a good point.

Though I would argue no one goes to a bar to attain or keep wealth. They go to let loose and have fun.

R49 But don't forget that your survey only (necessarily) measures out gay/lesbian people who are in a stable relationship. Those people are more likely to be more affluent, better educated and to live in an urban area. Less well-educated, poorer, elderly or rural-dwelling gay and lesbian people are more likely to be closeted, thus skewing the stats. I would bet this accounts for much of the observable difference. Hope you're keeping well!

R55 Agreed. The decline of third spaces, whether they sell alcohol or not, and thus in-person socialising is a massive problem, think of all the radicalised incels that are going to be created.

TL;DR warning

Yes, my degrees are in Political Science, but one of my Ph.D. fields was survey research/quantitative methods. So I have an extensive background in statistics and I've worked in more than a few statistician positions. [Where I could have stayed and made big bucks if I had "fudged" the data and given my bosses the results they wanted. BTW, over the years, I got three of my bosses fired. One was led out in handcuffs for embezzlement -- hee hee!]

My first statistician job out of grad school I shared an office with a very young guy (I was almost 40) who had just finished his MBA from (!) the University of South Florida. We did exactly the same job, just with different data, and we put out our separate reports.

Well, a year went by and we got a new boss. He gleefully announced that he was giving us both raises. Lo and behold, because he was quite indiscreet about the way he told us, I found out that Mr. Wet-behind-the-ears MBA (who I actually loved dearly) was already making 10K more than I was (back when that was real money), and he'd started the job the same time I did.

Don't tell me it doesn't happen, because I know it does. This was in 1997. And I am absolutely certain it still happens today.

A lot of careers are made by networking with men at the golf club or the bar. If you don't participate you may find yourself passed over for raises and promotions.

R54 She couldn't pay someone to lick her old snatch.

R40 Dr. Bonnie Morris is right. Those in power erased lesbians because lesbianism is not inclusive of men and this goes along with the erasure of women's rights. But guess who has been complicit in the erasure of lesbians? LESBIANS. They don't seem to understand that re-indentifying as trans/queer/non-binary is the modern day conversion therapy. They just go with what is seen as cool and trendy for the moment without thinking about how they are doing exactly what the woman haters and homophobes want them to do.

Just like straight women turned into prostitutes as soon as they were told to do so by the patriarchy. All the female entertainers starting in the year 2000 turned into whores and then it spread to regular women and teenage girls who all dress and act like street walkers. Women and lesbians are easy to erase because they participate in their own destruction as they did back during the witch hunts. The Church burned the women but it's women who denounced other women as witches.

Women obey power whether it's benevolent or tyrannical. They have never fought against the patriarchy, they only get tricked into thinking that they do.

Quite a few gay men seem to come from wealthy families.

R37 You're fat and live in a basement. That I am certain.

Whose the freak who keeps trying to start something with Elderlez? Tranny who got his ass owned? Lesbian hating bisexual guy?

No disrespect to our lez sisters but one of the first things I learned in hospitality was about lesbians and their frugalness.....in particular, the mantra "Dykes don't tip."

It may be that in the age where we are tipping counter service just for acknowledging us, it's been harder and harder to find workers in lesbian bars and lesbian spaces.

And as others have mentioned, the younger generation(s) aren't as interested in men-only or lesbian-only spaces, they are more comfortable in mixed spaces (albeit mixed spaces where they feel safe).

R60, sorry, but homophobes and women haters also hate trans and non-binary people.

The vast majority of LGBT women identify as...bisexual

Do YOU want to hang out in one? DO you??

Do YOU know, Diane? DO you?

Most lesbians I know (all over 50) are recovering alcoholics. They certainly spent quite a lot of time and money in lesbian bars 30-40 years ago.

R60 Thanks for illustrating so perfectly the curious radfem-to-Trump pipeline that seems to have emerged in recent years, your comment hits every single high note.

I've known more gay men than lesbians who were recovering alcoholics

R63 It's TunaLez who started something at R37. You start shit, you get shit back.

Yeah, and r36 is an innocent, wee lamb, r71. Not enough eyerolls to cover the hypocrisy.

R65 For the Religious Right, trans and non-binary people are easier to make fun of than gays, lesbians and bisexuals. They weren't allowed to make fun of gays but they found a way around it. They weren't allowed to do conversion therapy, but they found a way around it. What is surprising, is that most people haven't figured this out.

Look at all these ppl defending elderlez, a straight-up fascist. Why? Because it posts a lot?

No R71. R36 started it with his homophobic and misogynistic diatribe.

Oh wait Im getting senior lesbian mixed up with Elderlez.

[quote]A lot of careers are made by networking with men at the golf club or the bar. If you don't participate you may find yourself passed over for raises and promotions.

Are you trying to tell me lesbians don't play golf?

Haha R77, touche. I guess what I'm saying is that it's difficult for women to network for careers, there is just a lot of boys only clubs that women will never belong.

The only ones that do belong are the ones who are sleeping to get their careers. I don't think a lot of will oe can do that.

*lot of lesbians can or will do that

R78 is posting from 1978.

SL and I are both on this thread. SL has better grammar and a graduate degree. I am a lowly college graduate and the queen of typos, but have become financially comfortable in my middle age. Neither one of us is a fascist. (SL feel free to disagree with me if you think I have mistated anything.)

How are you and your family Concerned European? You make a good point in R56. I’d counter with the fact that marriage is much less common among straight poor people in the US these days and that *might* provide some balance.

Unless you are working or hope to work in a separatist lesbian workplace, lesbian bars aren’t super useful for business networking. But I get the networking in bars with colleagues thing. That’s basically the only reason I ever go to a bar.

R55 totally agree that most people who go to bars are doing it to have fun.

Bull dykes are notoriously violent.

Too many fights.

You're better off opening a biker bar.

Read the thread about the lesbian who dumped nachos down her girlfriend's pants, and then slammed her head into a wall.

That's just a typical days for lesbians.

Thanks Elderlez R81. I'm doing ok, my long court case against my former employers is still winding its way slowly through the Irish system but I'm still at least reasonably hopeful for a good outcome. Planning to enjoy London for a few months while I wait. My cousin and her, ummm, eccentric Idahoan wife are doing pretty well and just bought their first house with an inheritance. In less positive news though, they are based not a million miles away from the incident described below (not sure if they were planning to attend the parade). Probably still on balance preferable to Idaho though, right???

[quote] I guess what I'm saying is that it's difficult for women to network for careers, there is just a lot of boys only clubs that women will never belong.

What the fuck decade are you living in?

Next are you going to tell us that elite prep schools in CT and MA are still full of WASPs?

R83 eeeew gross! I hope everything smells OK by your cousin now. And good luck on your court case.

Thanks R85! Any news with you?

I’m compulsively tracking a court case, but it is the one below.

Other than American research infrastructure being destroyed by the DOGE horde all is OK-ish here. And I finally got Canadian citizenship so there’s that.

Why will you be in London for a few months?

I really don’t agree that lesbian or gay bars existence and attendance have trended downward because of more societal “acceptance.” Just read through social media—there’s so much hate still out there about all of us, and now even more so magnified because of that online media uptick existence. It’s just that today’s gays are more inclined to diversify how and where they open or attend more diverse entertainment venues and activities. It doesn’t mean the non-gays around them are necessarily more accepting these days. Just that today’s gays self-identify and socialize now in ways that older gays couldn’t or didn’t feel comfortable/think of doing. Hopefully that can actually still change more for the better one day.

There was once a lesbian disco in Columbus, OH called Wall Street, and it was a fun, packed place every weekend. Where did all the dykes in their polo shirts and Bermuda shorts go? It seems like 100 years ago ..

Imagine this: a strip mall with a lesbian bar and a U-Haul rental facility.

“ Why can't lesbian bars survive?”

One beer, five straws. That’s why.

I live in N fl and there are over a million people now in my area. 2 gay bars left and no lesbian one I know of when there used to be several of each . Every lesbian I ever knew partied just as hard and spent just as much money as gay men . Maybe yall didnt know the right ones .

R86. Fingers crossed for that case! My father and I did some work on a small rural clinic in Uganda about a decade ago, and I've just learned that the USAID cuts mean it will now get no more money for HIV or TB prevention or treatment, or for the salaries of the nurses and health visitors that were being paid for by the Ugandan government using those funds. So Bobby Jr is very much not my favourite guy right now.

I want to go to London because it's the greatest city on earth, full of possibility, art and creativity, and I need a little break from my mum too. Congrats on the new citizenship/break glass in case of emergency escape hatch.

I think the only lesbian bar I ever actually visited was in Beijing, on a pub crawl many years ago led by a bi Chinese-American artist and a bi-curious Japanese artist and content creator for Japanese businessmen-oriented sex websites. The two of us who were men had to get special dispensation to sit in the corner because men were all meant to be out by a certain hour. They were actually performing some kind of series of mock weddings in the basement, apparently, according to my Chinese artist friend, with real couples. The officiator was this big guy in a white coat and the brides were either properly butched up in leather jackets or some were in wedding gowns.

Funny how that memory just jumped into my head - perhaps none of us shall never see the like again?

On Thursdays, FELT is dead....

In my own experience lesbian bars were the only bars where I felt open hostility and almost got into a physical altercation for no reason. I understand wanting to have their own lady space but a very niche crowd that is territorial and openly hostile to non regulars and non lesbians doesn’t make for good business. It’s also not a very fun environment. Too much unchecked toxic masculinity in lesbian form is not a good business model.

In the 90s in Mexico, women were not allowed in gay bars because it usually led to drama and physical altercations. Once we brought along a lesbian friend from out of town and begged for her to be let in. Within two hours she was engaged in a fight on the dance floor and kicked out. I can’t remember the particulars but there’s a dynamic in the lesbian scene that ruins it for everyone else.

Another friend had a dyke friend who liked to roll up and pick fights with hetero men, banking on them not fighting back. Finally she fucked with the wrong cholo who clocked her after she wouldn’t back off and broke her nose. They warned her that if you roll up on a man like a man be ready to play. Obviously she didn’t listen. After she got hit she started crying and acting like he was wrong for hitting a girl but everyone saw it was her fault for starting something she couldn’t finish.

Concerened Euoropean is Irish and of course he hates Jews. Irish have always been anti-semitic.

The irony is if those lily-white Irish were exported to a Muslim country they would all be sex slaves. Men and women.

[quote]In the 90s in Mexico, women were not allowed in gay bars because it usually led to drama and physical altercations.

And now all these American women are going to Mexico for abortions! Funny world.

R17 Fletcher was never out as a lesbian. Who the hell is Jasamine Banks? Pornstar that does straight porn? So only Jojo Siwa. And she is dumb as a rock. She doesn't know what she is.

How many famous women how come out lately? A lot more. Chappell Roan, Sophia Bush, Anna Camp, Chrishell Stause, Gabby Windey, Kyle Richards (glass closet), to name a few

[quote] The irony is if those lily-white Irish were exported to a Muslim country they would all be sex slaves. Men and women.

I don't believe Muslim countries appreciate micro penis.

I've fucked many Irish and Irish-American guys and they've been hung

R98 Hi Stalker, have you confused this thread with your diary? Your fixation on me is becoming a little disturbing and is obviously sexual in nature, please consider making a fresh start with a different therapist or medication.

For our more mentally healthy contributors, I was in Egypt diving just this March, and can thoroughly recommend it! It sure beats the hell out of Ohio, or wherever these broken people with their paranoid fantasies about big rapey muslims actually live.

Not a fixation motherfucker, just a sorry Irish asshole who's typical. Medication? Keep guzzling the whiskey.

[quote] Hi Stalker, have you confused this thread with your diary? Your fixation on me is becoming a little disturbing and is obviously sexual in nature, please consider making a fresh start with a different therapist or medication.

And you're still a Jew-hating piece of shit. Typical of the Irish. Go take your pasty white ass to Gaza, darling. You'll be a fuckhole in five minutes. They like the boys as well as the girls.

[quote] Your fixation on me is becoming a little disturbing and is obviously sexual

do you think you know her? it does seem personal.

R36 You are an idiot. So many women in high positions are lesbians.

R106 Oh, I can't go to Gaza, I'm afraid, I'm an academic and the Israeli military has been targeting and slaughtering academics for quite some time, did you know they have now destroyed every university in Gaza? It's called 'scholasticide' and is part of the broader genocide.

I realise this isn't as titillating for you as your fantasies about you or I being raped by Muslims though, do you think you might have some kind of fetish? Please don't be too embarrassed to ask for the help of a qualified professional: so long as you don't confess actual illegal activity it will never leave the room.

Thread has been hijacked 😑

I a most delightful way

R107 Almost certainly not, or at least I hope not. The internet does seem to have created these weird parasocial relationships where bitter and disturbed people with few to no social skills project all their past traumas and disappointments onto mostly interchangeable online conversation partners. It's safer and easier for R106 to get angry at me, since to him I'm only a username on a not-that-popular gossip website, rather than at all the people, and I'm sure there are very many of them, who have taken advantage of him over the years. Too bad.

But there's always hope.

This topic certainly shows some of the divide between lesbians and gay men!

I read about a campaign to "get the L out", (of the LGB acronym), spearheaded by lesbians who say they have nothing in common with gay men or bisexuals, hence they want to start out on their own.

[QUOTE]Thread has been hijacked 😑

Men on the thread!

[quote] “ Why can't lesbian bars survive?”

One beer, five straws. That’s why

It's a day later and this is still funny

Aww I quoted it wrong

I still love that there's a les bar in Phoenix called BOYCOTT. Best name evah!

[quote] Gay men are mesmerized by dick for their entire lives, they never think about pussy.

Except for mine!

"... with their paranoid fantasies about big rapey muslims"

They were eating babies!

[quote]Why can't lesbian bars survive?

I think we can stop after the thirty or forty good reasons we've already listed!

R20 Is that why many gay men love fucking FTMs? If I'm not mistaken, FTMs have pussies.

Most gay men are repulsed by FTMs

R121 no gay men are not, tranny lovers are their own breed, or straight.

I remember a lesbian social/dating site, imaginatively named "Lezza", based in the UK and it was the sister (no pun intended) site of a gay male social/dating site.

It lasted all of five minutes. Most lesbians stayed away, but gay/bi men from the sister site went over there to mess around instead (to the point they got warned if they were found on Lezza they'd be banned from both sites).

I used to think if they couldn't make a lesbian site last longer than a couple of months no wonder there weren't many lesbian bars and this was probably 10 - 15 years ago.

The entire business model depends on a venn diagram of (A) major alcohol drinkers and (B) extroverts who like to leave their house and mix it up with lots of other people.

Younger people and even 40somethings in general are just not that, not anymore compared to pre-Internet generations. This impacts niche bars much worse than it impacts straight bars.

I’m 60 and remember encountering so many gay and lesbian alcoholics back in the 80s! It was a defining feature of our demographic and it was messy and sad.

Why can't lesbian bars survive? Because they attract bulldykes who don't live very long.

Not trolling, but can someone explain why lesbians are known/thought to be cheap? If it’s true, why are they that way?

R127 Because they're poor. They spend all their money on cat food.

I'm still laughing at "one beer, five straws."

I hear it was because there were too many brawls happening at these bars. Like a fight scene from the movie Roadhouse.

20 years ago I owned a gay bookstore. I had a very nice selection of feminist and lesbian literature. I could count on two hands the weekly sales that I made to lesbians. They were browsers but not buyers...

r131 you reminded me of the Portlandia women's bookstore sketches.