Lana Del Rey turns 40

How fat is she right now?

Has her talent appeared yet?

Does this former spinster plan to produce children with her alligator-tour-guide husband?

It's a little late.

Is America Great yet??

She was really in Ann Wilson territory there for a while.

Weight-wise.

(Voice, never.)

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

She probably fucked/blew Harvey Weinstein. I guess that’s what swallowing his jizz does.

I’d fuck or suck off some gross old guy if he could make all my dreams come true.

R5, that's from all those late-night shifts at Waffle House.

Telephone wires above are Sizzler like a snare

I went to one of her concerts way back in 2015. She was a pretty weak live performer. Courtney Love was her opener and she impressed me more than LDR. She sounded great, really commanded the stage and shit-talked the audience the whole time.

And her face turns 21.

R11 I was at one of these shows too. I love Lana but I love Courtney/Hole even more, and the fact that they were touring together felt like a weird fever dream come true for me. I had seen Courtney live before that a couple of times, and she was always excellent (her detractors always say otherwise, but yes—the woman has true stage presence and she gives it her all).

Lana is a different kind of artist and doesn't have the loose cannon energy of someone like Courtney onstage, so she can seem much less riveting in comparison. I remember thinking Lana's performance was good, but it didn't blow my mind. I had seen Lana once before that in Seattle when she first toured to promote Ultraviolence, and I thought that concert was better. The third and most recent time I saw Lana, I was even not very impressed—it was a big stadium show and I could tell that she was lip-synching parts of the opening song which put a bad taste in my mouth. She also had incorporated her group of ridiculous backup dancers at that point. Everything about it just felt off to me. I still think she's a great songwriter and I enjoy her music immensely, but I don't think I'll ever pay to see her live again. Her music doesn't really lend itself to venues like that in my opinion anyway.

I saw her twice live, once in a club, once in an arena.

Loved her both times.

Bacon too from the looks of it r10.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

She's dated a good assortment of very fuckable men. Kudos!

r17 barely. She just like white trash men that skip leg day at the gym, if they ever bother to workout. One exception was the Italian photographer.

As if gym-bodies are a necessity for a fuckable hot man. Her musician lovers - Barrie-James O’Neill, Clayton Johnson, Evan Winiker and G-Eazy - were all fuckably attractive.

She married for love, but I still don't see it lasting. What do those two even talk about? She's into Russian poetry and he's into... gators.

millennials are old

Zoomers are getting long in the tooth as well. It's the Alphas we must now turn to for youthful freshness.

I wish she went in a catchier pop direction as I prefer songs like West Coast and Blue Jeans. Her recent stuff is way too snoozy and depressing. She does suck live. Very awkward stage presence with shaky vocals. I too saw the tour when Courtney Love opened for her (as did half of DL) and Lana paled in comparison. Courtney is a natural performer with a magnetic stage presence. Lana is just a dullard on a stage. Happy Birthday?

I don't know her

She’s truly peerless in today’s music landscape.

Floating so ethereally between alt and pop - almost never charting, but maintaining a very sizeable and intensely loyal fanbase.

Most detractors I’ve talked with stopped keeping up with her early on, around the somewhat gimmicky Born to Die era and the SNL debacle.

They’re missing out on tremendous evolution, one that may have peaked with Norman Fucking Rockwell - a true Great American Record.

The three albums after it keep surprising and adding to a brilliant songbook.

For anyone curious about where she is right now sonically, give Henry, Come On a listen.

It’s the first single off a highly anticipated new album, fleetingly promised to be released this year.

She’s done a lot of festivals, honestly half-assedly. That vibe doesn’t suit her at all, and she shows it by regularly being late, and going through the motions with the ‘hits’, the ones that festival crowds tend to be most familiar with.

I would pay an arm and a leg to see her in a more intimate environment, ideally indoors.

A testament to her surprising popularity is the fact she’s doing two solo shows at Wembley Stadium this year, on July 3 and 4.

Now that is a dream come true for us Lanitas - the nights are completely up to her and her team to design. The expectations are sky-high.

I am still torn between choosing when to go - she may be more energized and enthusiastic the first night, but the second is Independence Day, which adds to her Americana allure.

If I knew for a fact she’ll mix the set list up even a bit, and if I were better off financially, I’d buy tickets for both in a heartbeat.

Fellow Lana gays, let us rejoice.

She's easily one of the most prolific, intriguing, and talented singer-songwriters working today. Taylor Swift's highly-processed, manufactured hog slop is the equivalent to a cheap dimestore novel when you compare the two.

I think "Chemtrails over the Country Club" is her only truly bad album, and by most measurable standards, it's actually not that bad. "Ultraviolence", "Honeymoon", "Norman Fucking Rockwell", and "Did You Know That That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard" are all absolute fucking masterpieces. People love to hate her, but the truth is that Lana will go down as one of the most important songwriters of her generation.

I saw her on SNL years ago and she SUCKED ASS. The fact that she still has name recognition is a miracle in itself.

Live performances may not be her forte, but she's still written a lot of brilliant music and has a unique voice - in both senses of the word. You can be a talented artist and a not so good performer, and vice versa.

People like R27 who only ever saw the SNL performance and eternally dismissed her are missing out. That performance was bad, but she's grown a lot as an artist and performer. All of the records speak for themselves.

Lana's hottest ex was the daddy cop.

Nepo Industry Plant

Is she a planning to shit put a child soon?

Her recent pics on Instagram are extremley worrying. She is emaciated. She had previously stated that they only way she stays thin is through drug abuse. Her marriage to the MAGA alligator swamp tour guide is strange too.

R33 I doubt she's on hard drugs, but I do think she probably used Ozempic given how quickly she lost about half her body weight. Maybe extreme dieting too.

I don't get her.

She's lucky her skin seems to have snapped back and she wasn't left with pools of sagging folds.

She was getting about that fat.

[quote]She is emaciated.

She's sweating it all out.

Maybe R34 - let us hope

r26 I wish her husband wasn't so gross. I hope he's not MAGA.

[quote]I hope he's not MAGA.

LMAO

What part of "Louisiana alligator tour guide" suggests he's remotely progressive?

I'd bet my 401k that Lake Placid/Long Island Lana is MAGA.

He is MAGA - he follows MAGA accounts on social media and his ex is MAGA.

She's MAGA too.

Her husband is MAGA for sure, but she isn't. She's just never been political, she prefers to be in her own little world. Each person decides how they choose to spend what little time they have on this planet, not everyone needs to be fighting political battles 24/7. You wouldn't accuse Enya of being MAGA just because she never speaks up about the pressing cultural and political issues of the day, would you?

[quote]A testament to her surprising popularity is the fact she’s doing two solo shows at Wembley Stadium this year, on July 3 and 4.

Addison Rae is opening for her, which seems like the perfect fit because you can clearly hear the Lana influences in her songs. Lana filmed herself listening to Addison in her car a month or so ago, so it was only a matter of time. Can't wait!