Lavender marriage

What's the point, if you're already friends? Tax purposes?

Even Will Truman wasn't that pathetic. Now, think about it.

How about a friend agreement?

A friendship agreement, also known as a friendship contract, is a document outlining the expectations, boundaries, and obligations within a friendship. It's a way to formalize a relationship, aiming to foster mutual respect and harmony by establishing clear guidelines. While not legally binding in most contexts, it serves as a reference point for navigating the friendship and resolving potential conflicts.

R1 I've tried discussing the prospect of growing older with my single friends. They quickly change the subject. Not all of us have friends who will take such a journey with us. Mine don't seem to even think that far ahead.

Hi, R2! Go fuck yourself.

-99/100.

R4 But again, if you're already friends, I don't see the need for marriage. If you want to grow old with someone and if you want to be there for each other in case of illness or declining health, why not just be roommates or live close to each other?

If you're both truly on the same page about it, it could work out very nicely for the decades to come. Quite a few long-term lesbian relationships transition into such a dynamic anyway.

One thing you'll want to consider is that you're only in your mid 40s; it's not impossible one of you might spark a new relationship, romantic/sexual. And obviously there's no sexual/romantic core in what's between the two of you. What would happen to your lavender marriage if one of you fell deep in love, real love, with a new partner?

A "lavender marriage" is to throw people off the scent. Its purpose is to conceal the sexual orientation of you, your partner, or both. A "companionate marriage" or "marriage of convenience" is what you're looking to enter into, no?

There are select situations where a marriage like this might make sense, like sharing employer health insurance benefits or making a friend eligible for spousal Social Security benefits. But if the goal is just companionship, there's no need to legalize it.

R4 and R9 You're both right; that's a magnificent idea. The potential legal reasons for such a marriage, though, have loomed large in our discussions..

She’s not your fag hag.

Why? If you genuinely enjoy each other's company and friendship, and feel that it will withstand any tests of time and aging, why not search for some creative living arrangement?

Depending on your finances, it could be apartments next door, houses next door, an easily divisible house, etc. That provides proximity but also a buffer of space and privacy.

I've known gay exes as well as platonic friends to buy, say, a three story townhouse and convert it to condo flats: one for each "partner", and one as a source of rental income. In some cases, the richer or more space greedy partner takes a larger unit and the other (whether for less money, less need of space, or a desire to travel more) takes a smaller unit.

You can scale it up or down depending on money, and put some formal structure to the arrangement.

If you both want to do it and the expectations are clear, why not. Make sure you have your prenups signed.

This must be deep southern Flyoverstan?

Sheldon Cooper has entered the chat @ R3.

You should emphasize the situation by wearing a lovely lavender gown at the ceremony. Your bride can come attired in her best lavender leather tux.

do what works for you. Don't ask others for permission under the guise of "what do you think" It's your life. Analyse it from all angles and if it feels right, do it.

People used to tell me I should find a roommate, and I would reply, "A roommate? Christ, I can barely live with someone I'm supposed to be [italic]in love[/italic] with!"

Thank you R15, I will gladly accept that as an esteemed compliment.

A lavender marriage could end in divorce, just like any other. Unless you plan to live with each other, dote on each other, and laugh together in cozy companionship, I don't see the point. I also don't see the point of a lavender marriage for work benefits. Could still end in divorce and risk your retirement savings and other communal property, unless you have a prenup.

If you want to be married, at least marry someone you love and share physical intimacy with.

Otherwise, IMO, marriage is a trap. You don't need to marry and dear friend for that.

I hate living with women and their whiny ways

OP doesn't know what "Lavender marriage" means.

Is it out of loneliness? As others have sai,d you are friends already. Is it an inclusion thing? You want to be married because other people are married and it seems like the thing to do? Let's say you get married, even have a kid. You, or she, finds someone they want to be with? Now what? Just be friends, be roomates. Do you need to get married to be happy? If so, maybe re-evaluate your life, Happiness comes from within.

This is absolutely a thing in the south, like a retirement plan for gay bachelors. I have seen it before. But they were guys in their fifties.

People will be marrying their dolphins next!