Dumbest Things Hollywood Executives Have Said or Done

Suggesting Timothee Chalamet is sexy and/or is the next Daniel Day Lewis.

Build glass closets for obviously gay celebrities.

Rosie O'Donnell as Betty Rubble.

When Jodie Foster announced she wasn’t returning for “Hannibal,” one unnamed executive was quoted in an article: “It’s been 10 years since ‘Silence.’ Who’s going to remember Jodie originated the role anyway?”

Andrew Garfield/Hugh Jackman/Bradley Cooper/Timothee Chalamet/Etc likes pussy.

[R5] You missed Cruise and Travolta.

Thinking Gal Gadot can act

Hey, let's do a Lone Ranger movie! Clearly, today's tweens are dying to see a movie based on a 50s show!

Let's give a part to so and so's kid.

Going woke.

"I think having Lucille Ball play 'Mame' is a great idea! Think of the money at the box office it'll bring in ! Let's do it."

Going right-wing like r10

Honestly the dumbest thing Hollywood execs have ever done is abandon original movies. Remakes upon Remakes. I mean do we really need to remake the whole Harry Potter Franchise?

Releasing Star Wars VII-IX

"What if we put Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni in a movie together ? I mean, really, what could possibly go wrong ?"

"Congratulations, Rachel, you've got the role!"

r15 you can shorten that to "what if we put Blake Lively in a movie.."

Gulf & Western wanted Michael Corleone to be played by Robert Redford.

Forcing Falsone on Homicide: Life on the Street.

"I got the best idea ever ! Let's cast Rosie O'Donnell in a movie about a mentally handicapped woman who rides the city bus all day! This will give Rosie a chance to show she can be taken as a serious actress and win her an Emmy. Let's make the calls now and get this started!"

Giving Rachel Zegler a platform.

Too many damn sequels

Two words: Pia Zadora.

Live action Snow White with CGI midgets and a surly, dark skinned Snow White

Nina Simone played by an anorectic Latina in minstrel dark colored makeup.

Anorectic 60 year old Aussie playing American Icon, Lucille Ball in her prime.

One smart thing they did was call out the last administration on the fucking Con they were running to the America people because they saw what the fuck they saw with very own eyes. Thank you George Clooney. Why would fucking lifelong progressives choose to randomly throw their own under the bus. Because they saw and were experience what the fuck they were, in real time.

And no I’m not a fucking Trump supporter and the Biden administration did some good things.

"Okay, okay...I was wrong about Lucy in 'Mame' 12 years ago. I'll admit it. But that was then, and this is now. How about casting Lucy in a new sitcom as a 75 year old widowed grandmother who moves in with her daughter's family of four. 'Kay? And Lucy has inherited half of a hardware store that she inherited from her husband. You with me? Now for the best part - ready? - the other half of the business is owned by her daughter's widowed father-in-law, and we'll get Gale Gordon to play him ! After a 12 year absence from our TV screens, we'll reunite Lucy and Gale for the funniest half hour on television today. I mean the jokes and pratfalls just write themselves ! This is comedy gold. And we'll get whoever is still alive from the 'I Love Lucy' days on board to write the scripts, do the cameras, do the lighting...you follow me ? We'll push 'The Golden Girls' out of the Top 3 in the ratings. Who's with me on this ? Let's pitch it to the networks and start a bidding war - the highest bid wins !"

“No worries. That’s just Harvey being Harvey!”

Social media

Hiring nepo babies.

Let’s shoot Julianna and Archie’s final scene separately via green screen. Who will ever know?

Reality shows stinking up nighttime TV. Replacing daytime game shows with female gab shows.

Let's remake classic Christmas cartoon staring Jim Carrey as the Grinch.

Will Smith should still get the Oscar for uncontrollable violence on stage in front of millions of viewers.

It’s funny, most everything everyone is complaining about makes a shit ton of money. Billions. So…

"But this doesn't have to be the end of 'The Golden Girls' just because Bea is leaving the series. I have a great idea...let's have the three of them sell the house in Miami, and buy a small hotel. Blanche, Rose and Sophia will run the hotel ! The laughs will write themselves..."

All those Disney live action remakes of animated classics.

Let's age Dorothy a bit, make her a school teacher in Harlem who has never been beyond Harlem. Make her clueless. It is perfect for Diana Ross!

God damn it, Gary! This is one you are NOT going to talk me out of.

I could get my OSCAR!

Let's do a CGI version of young Princess Leah and Grand Moff Tarkin!

Let’s make Joker 2.

[quote]Let’s make Joker 2.

And put that Gaga woman in it! We'll get both the young male AND young female audiences!

Let’s make a live-action version of Cats!

The CGI budget doesn’t need to be that large. Nobody will notice. Let’s use the money to get to Judy Dench and Taylor Swift.

Casting Rosalind Russell, as Mama Rose, in "Gypsy." Roz's husband, a famous producer, Frederick Brisson, bought the film rights. Ethel Merman was furious. She told Brisson to call her if Roz "can't handle the songs." Ethel should've been hired; she was Mama Rose to the core. Roz just didn't have the gusto, the innate chutspah for the part.

Let’s beard up Henry Cavill with Kaley Cuoco.

They called Brisson "The Lizard of Roz" for a reason.

In August 1939 “Fortune” magazine published an article about the Loew’s company and its studio unit Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. “Fortune” stated that Irving Thalberg was a key decision maker at the studio, but he was absent due to illness when Fred Astaire was being evaluated. The following passage included an instance of the quotation:2

During his illness, Deanna Durbin and Fred Astaire were tested at Culver City and turned down.

On the subject of Astaire, some hapless underling scrawled on his report card, “Can’t act; slightly bald; can dance a little.”

Let's do reboots of Murphy Brown and Mad About You

Clearly tons of people are crying out for this

And if we get Ian McKellen too, Cats will be a sure hit!

ISHTAR?

Love it!

Re Snow White, we'll hire real dwarves to play the dwarves! People will love that we're giving handicapped people work! And we could get another little Dinklage out of it. Maybe even another Mini-Me!

After Gene Tierney arrived in Hollywood, she signed a 6 month contract with Columbia Pictures. The studio didn't know how to cast her. A producer suggested that she was a Penny Singleton type, who starred in the "Blondie and Dagwood", based on the comic strip. Can you imagine that stupidity? Gene went back to Broadway. Darryl Zanuck from 20th Century Fox discovered her, and she signed a contract. It was a perfect match. Fox, at that time, had excellent scriptwriters.

Casting Audrey Hepburn instead of Julie Andrews for My Fair Lady. I've never gotten over it.

Giving Ashton Kutcher a film carreer in the 2000s (and part of the 2010s).

If his comdy films were truly awful, it was even worse when he tried to make the crossover as a "serious, dramatic" actor with the utterly-pretentious and atrocious "The Butterfly Effect".

Let's cast Liberace as a straight man in a romantic movie! He'll nail it!

NOT casting Lucie Arnaz Jr as Rizzo in Grease!

Jack Warner chopping 25 minutes out of Judy's A Star is Born road show prints and seemingly trashing the footage! Why save anything!

Jack Warmer being convinced by Richard Nixon to remove sections from the movie of “1776,” because conservative Nixon found them offensive.

“Let’s make a movie called John Carter. It’s a great title.”

“Let’s cast Taylor Kitsch in the lead. It’s a great name.”

Let's do a comedy vignette movie with big, big stars, especially Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet! We'll have them play a couple on a blind date and...you're gonna love this...Hugh Jackman will show up for the date with a pair of testicles hanging from his chin!

I know, right? Blockbuster!

America wants to see Mariah Carey starring in a musical with forgettable songs! Glitter simply can't miss!

So just how bad do you want that part, Sweetheart?

That little so-and-so Winona has dropped out. I'm just going to give the part to Sofia. She's really come a long way and ought to be perfect.

Who knows? Maybe we'll both get Oscars out of it.

Casting Jennifer Love HUGE TITS to play Audrey Hepburn.

The Elizabeth Taylor story, starring Lindsay Lohan!

Disney giving J J Abrams free reign to make the Star Wars sequel trilogy. The first film, which he helmed, was a limp retread of the very first Star Wars film, but not a single hair of it was better. The other two that followed it (including the middle film by Ryan Johnson) were much, much worse. Just pitifully bad from any angle. Very clearly there was no storyline figured out beforehand, and they just made it up as they went along. You spend billions buying the IP only to run it into the ground?

Putting uggo Adam Driver in front of a camera.

[quote]Disney giving J J Abrams free reign to make the Star Wars sequel trilogy.

Paramount giving J J Abrams free reign to make the Star Trek big screen reboot.

Hey, what if we did a remake of Lost Horizon...AS A MUSICAL? It'll be fantastic, and let's cast noted vocalist Liv Ullman!

There's one thing America is dying to see...Lance Bass as a hetero pussyhound in a romantic comedy!

"You ready to invest in a Broadway blockbuster? Here she is, boys! Here she is world! Here's Faye...starring as Katherine Hepburn in 'Tea at Five' ! What could possibly go wrong ?"

"As for the final three actresses, I'm going to say 'no' to Diahann Carroll, 'no' to Michele Lee, and 'yes' to Faye Dunaway. Let's face it - Faye's the only one who can replace Glenn Close here in LA, and probably follow her to Broadway. With just a couple of voice lessons, she'll be good to go. I'm telling you, my 'Sunset Boulevard' musical will run for eternity."

Let's hire that macho stud Clifton Webb as the father for Cheaper by the Dozen.

Let’s make Sex and the City II and empower Middle Eastern women.

Also let’s include a typical Gay Wedding.

I hear Liza Minelli is broke.

“Judy IS Annie Oakley!!”

"Picture it...we bring Liza in for a vacationing Julie. Liza and Tony Roberts together on stage ! He'll adore working with her. What could possibly go wrong ?"

Let’s reboot Sex and the City with a spin-off series called And Just Like That. We’ll get rid of Samantha who brought the fun and sex and give each of the remaining ladies a new black best friend. Oh and we’ll turn Miranda into a dyke. People will hate watch in droves!

"The girl singing that song in the barnyard is slowing down the picture. Cut it."

R10 You do know that being woke just means you care for your fellow man, essentially. What part of that are you against exactly?

I just want to know....back in 1966, how did a a tv studio table, with a flock of executives sitting, come up with the concept of.... (I'll get to that)

Exec 1: I know. lets have a tv show about a young pretty girl who becomes a nun.

Exec 2: I know. Let's have a tv show about a young, pretty girl who discovers she can fly.

Exec 3: I know! Let's have a tv show about a girl who learns to fly AND has become a nun. The Flying Nun.

Really! What f'king drugs were they on?

And how did nobody stop them???

We’ll call it From Justin to Kelly! People love paying for something that’s already free on TV.

[quote]Exec 3: I know! Let's have a tv show about a girl who learns to fly AND has become a nun. The Flying Nun.

My theory is that "The Flying Nun" was an attempt to combine Julie Andrews' two characters from the two extremely successful movies she had made recently, Mary Poppins and Maria von Trapp.

I thoroughly agree with R1.

R82 I think you’re on to something there.

[quote]R82 I think you’re on to something there.

After I wrote that, I remembered that early episodes of "The Flying Nun" even included Sally Field singing perky, happy songs to the local kids. Field couldn't really sing, so the songs were extra perky to make up for it.

"OK, here me out. It's 1977. I know 'Bewitched' ended five years ago, and their daughter Tabitha was only 6, while son Adam was only 3. But who's going to remember that ? It's been five years ! So let's spin-off Tabitha into her own show! She'll be in her mid-20s now, and living the life of a modern, single, sexy witch in LA working for the local TV news. And we'll have Adam join her out there - now he's her older brother and no longer a warlock, so he's like his father Darrin. And we'll bring in a bunch of characters we've never met before and say they're relatives of Tabitha and Adam's on their mother's side. How about an 'Aunt Minerva' to replace 'Endora' ? I'm telling you - 'Bewitched' will soon be forgotten, once this show premieres. Who's in on it with me ?"

R85 Back when 'The Flying Nun' was released, ABC also released an album of music from the show - a whole LP of Sally Field singing.

R66 and R68?? It's[bold]FREE REIN!!![/bold]

How many times do I have to tell you guys this???

You "steer" a horse by holding the [italic]reins.[/italic] Therefore to give someone/thing "free rein" is to get go of the reins and let it do whatever it/she/he wants to do.

"You can screw them all you want..they will never talk! They want to be stars."

R68, that first Star Trek movie was pretty good, great cast. Granted the next two were just okay but they should’ve tried again.

Howard the Duck can't lose! America loves anthropomorphic ducks!

The Flying Nun was a really fun show!

R82, R80 here.

I am in my 60s. For at least 50 of those years, I have contemplated the question of how that show could have possibly been conceived, (just whenever I'd see a clip or a mention of it somewhere). It always astonished/mystified me.

Now, I finally feel I can put that question to rest. What you wrote makes total sense to me. Having grown up a movie buff....in fact, I recall The Sound of Music being the first movie I ever saw in a theater, (which I posted on the thread asking that question). I'm now amazed that I, myself, never figured that out, made the connection.

Thank you!

(and now I have a new entry for the "Mysteries that Were Never Solved" thread).

R87. I still have that album.

My next masterpiece - a Nazi clown movie!

R93 Speaking of how shows are conceived, I still remember an episode of The Sonny and Cher Show with special guest Bob Keeshan, aka Captain Kangaroo.

There was a skit where Cher played a TV network producer, and Captain Kangaroo is meeting with her to pitch his show. He would say things like "We have a moose, and ping pong balls fall all over him," or "There's a giant bear that just dances," and "We bring out an animal and a bunch of kids and they just look at it."

And Cher is like, "Are you serious?"

Let’s throw Tab Hunter under the bus to save Rock Hudson.

"Listen to me, Suzanne, as both your husband and now your manager. We'll march into the ABC office first thing Monday morning and demand you get a 300% pay raise. Remember - YOU are the star of 'Three's Company'. The show can't survive without you. You carry that show on your shoulders. And if they don't take us seriously, you call out sick...say you have some fractured ribs. You don't show up to tape the new season. You stage a sick-out until they come to their senses. YOU BRING THEM TO THEIR KNEES until they beg you to come back, and give you that raise. You hear me ? Wadda they gonna do ? Fire you ? Puh-leeze. "

You know that Australian comedy Kath and Kim? Well, we're gonna remake it for American audiences and make Molly Shannon the mom and Selma Blair the daughter! Must see TV, folks!

"OK, Miss Ross. Sign right here on the contract, and welcome to RCA. This is the best $20M investment ever made in music history. Remember, while you're here at RCA, you have 100% total control of the next seven albums you deliver for us. We'll back you up 100% - there's no 'Berry Gordy' here to get in your way and tell you what's best for you. You're on your own. We're confident you'll be delivering multi-platinum album after multi-platinum album for us. You need anything ? I'm a phone call away."

"Sure, Joan! I'd love to tour the country with you and co-star in 'Legends!' And I think you're right - this really is Broadway - bound. Thanks for calling me. See you next week !"

"Hi Johnny, it's Joan. Hey I am getting my own talk show on Fox!"

[quote]The Flying Nun was a really fun show!

Sally Field's first series, "Gidget," was canceled after one season, but "The Flying Nun" actually ran three seasons. It definitely had an audience for a while, silly as its premise sounded.

R88 Get a life.

Using garish prosthetic makeup to try and make actors look like a real-life person they are playing instead of just hiring an actor who already resembles that person.

R105 Then how are actors like Jessica Chastain and Charlize Theron supposed to win Oscars?

Casting Marlon Brando as an Asian.

The casting decisions for "The Bonfire of Vanities"

Tori Spelling

No one is more qualified to play a Japanese man than Mickey Rooney!

[quote]No one is more qualified to play a Japanese man than Mickey Rooney!

Rooney's performance lacked the quiet dignity of Jerry Lewis in "Hardly Working."

ME rikey you r111!

Let's cast Jake Gyllenhaal on a second-rate "Conan the Barbarian" rip-off so he can be the next big action star in Hollywood. Also we can boost his macho image in order to get rid of those nasty and hurtful gay rumours.

Let invite Donald Trump to come on the show and to do a music video. - SNL

"I think this Lorna Luft has potential to be a superstar."

I've been reading a book about the making of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and a studio executive watched the finished film and decided "Moon River" was all wrong and had to go. WTF?

[quote]I've been reading a book about the making of "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and a studio executive watched the finished film and decided "Moon River" was all wrong and had to go. WTF?

"It's like the girl singing in the barnyard all over again! CUT IT!"

"The Golden Palace" was a thoroughgoing disaster.

R23, Pia Zadora has a wonderful sense of humor, about herself. Upon discovering that "The Lonely Lady" was to be debuted on American network TV, she said "I'm leaving the county." She was hilarious, as a beatnik, in the original "Hairspray".

The ladies love that Matt Lauer!

"The Flash" will make Ezra Miller the biggest star on the planet!

“Gentlemen, let’s have Garbo laugh?!!” 🤨

Madonna is going to be a big movie star some day.

Homeboys from Outer Space

R123 that was not Hollywood execs...that was Madonna.

We need an ugly, dying cat to over sing a song. Is J Hudson still available?