What are you down about?

I've become increasingly agoraphobic, and afraid to drive. It's really limiting me.

NEVER end a sentence with a preposition.

Partner has a houseguest who has been here for three weeks and invites her 30-year-old son over every night for dinner. They spend their nights cuddling together on the sofa or on the bed watching TV. She leaves on June 2. I am counting the days.

[quote]“From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.” ― Winston S. Churchill

I saw so many fat gays today, it really disturbed my peace of mind. Why can't they just drop the cookies & be skinny?

Down about getting old and not having enough money to live on and worrying that I’ll end up on the streets. Otherwise, everything is fine.

Annoyed because I was laid off and I have no marketable skills. I don’t even want to work anymore. It just seems like a waste.

My sympathies to all. It helps to be able to share this stuff.

Some prostate cancer going on here. Initial meeting with the oncologist tomorrow to discuss options.

This wasn't exactly on my 2025 list.

My closest friend has a tendency to be argumentative and hit below the belt. A few years ago, for a short time, I was involved with a physically abusive partner we can call Thomas.

Now this closest friend says "poor Thomas" any time he disagrees with me.

I think I am done with who was once a very good, very close, friend. It hurts. Weeks of butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I can't speak to him.

Trump et al.

Ruined my retirement.

R10, sorry to hear this. Though the nature of the problem was different, I was also struggling with a long term friendship. I started wondering why I was always dreading seeing her - and why I always felt drained of energy after seeing her. Finally decided it was intolerable. Ended it. Much happier now. Zero regrets.

Turn that frown upside down, OP.

When I have to pass in front of a full length mirror.

Thanks r12. I don't think I am ready to give up but the friendship has changed. I used to look.up to him. Now it feels more as if he looks down on me. Finding my way through the change.

I'm feeling stifled by my LTR. I want to have sex with a ton of strangers before I'm too old and ugly. I'm 34.

R16 WHORE!

That’s very generous of your partner. I stand firmly by “houseguests and fish both start to stink after three days” but I guess there were extenuating circumstances for such a long stay, R3.

The poor quality of strawberries, no reliable source of redfish where I live, and the neighbor's dog that barks.

Oh, and the brain cancer.

The state of the USA.

That I have never been able to replace my first love from 35 years ago.

My mother is dealing with dementia. My dog and cat are both 17. The state of the nation. Older mentors are passing away. At least I have the privilege of growing old.

OP, is she cuddling with her son or your partner? Either way, there’s boundaries issues.

Here's a really miniscule gripe. I can't get the IMDB app to work. It just randomly freezes up.

R 23, her son. He is learning-disabled, somewhere on the spectrum, hygiene-challenged and a charmless fuckup and she has infantilized him. The guy's mother is also on the spectrum and has trouble mediating physical distance from other people. My partner wants to pretend these people are pseudo family members. I find them moochers and clods. We fight about their visit every year. This is a good time to go to do things outside the house. The beauty of this thread is that it demonstrates how trivial these problems are, compared to what other Dlrs are dealing with.

Which of the 50?

I had a ride from a sexy Uber driver then, upon arrival home, discovered that I couldn’t unbuckle my seat belt. I feel suicidally foolish. He had to angrily bark instructions until I was able to comply. Damn am I a nitwit. I swallowed some antidepressants and am waiting for the mental brutality to pass.

Went to Kroger today. Was right behind a woman who was loading her full cart of groceries to the conveyor belt at the cashier station. Halfway there, she says she forgot something, told me she didn't know where to find it. She went off to get it. I waited nine minutes for her. Then I asked the cashier if he could ring me out. He agreed. I tried to move her cart to the side; knocking a full venti mocha from Starbucks off of my own cart. It poured down my pants and over my white orthopedic shoes. I was a mess.

She returned a couple of minutes later, not finding what she was looking for, saw the drink was spilled, and offered to buy me a replacement mocha. I declined it, knowing the store would replace it.

Why are people so inconsiderate of others? Back in the day, before I needed orthopedic shoes, most people would check out with the groceries they had in their carts, then return to the inside of the store to get what they forgot. No one would have held up a line for over ten minutes. This is not the world I grew up in. It discourages me.

Main character syndrome, r28. It's the same reason people talk in movie theaters without dying of shame. Some people believe that their whims are the only thing that matter and everyone else is a non-entity. I think we need to normalize cursing these people out.

R16 means already old & ugly r16 , by 7 years already

R29 I think that’s now called “Trump” syndrome.

We had some major changes at work and I hate my new assignment. I could retire age-wise, but I don’t dare because of trump and his goon squad.

Never had a relationship before I fixed my early trauma stuff in my 50s..

It's honestly not that big of a deal at this point, more at the level of "I wish the dish I ordered hadn't been served lukewarm" level of upset.

Still, it WAS lukewarm

I can't get in the habit of opening up cereal boxes and other food product packaging properly. I'm so hungry I just rip them open. Then things dont stay fresh as long.

R6 I think there are many people in your situation.

Hetrosexual Women 18-30 who work out at the gym in pairs hogging 2 machines while they chat and share facebook posts. I encountered this today and I stood there stoic waiting.

R36- That reminds me of when my father and I would go to Atlantic City back in the early to mid 1990's and some FRAU would be sitting there smoking her cigarettes and say in a RASPY voice- Those are my two lucky machines. She would hog two slot machines. I would always encounter this type on every visit to Atlantic City.

The good looking/hot guys are no longer interested in me. Back in the mid to late 1990's I would stand at a wall in a gay bar and some nights be cruised simultaenously by good looking guys on either side of me. They would lean into me and lean forward to try to catch my glance. Some of them were REALLY hungry for me. If I walked into a gay bar today COMPLETELY naked I would probably be invisible.

No r38 if u go in today naked, they WOULD notice you in disgust

[quote]What are you Down about?

EVWEETHING.

I went in for a COVID booster on Saturday before flying to Europe on Sunday. I had a sore arm but symptoms got really bad Saturday night. This included fever and chills. By Sunday morning my stomach was full of bile and I barfed. I pulled it together to get on the plane but somehow this devolved into a sinus infection. A friend of mine bought me medicine but I have had 6 nights of sleepless nights. Being sick when you are traveling is the worse.

Oh, and of course Trump is ruining our country and we have 44 more months of him.

My dad’s health is not doing well and he’s the parent who is in good health. I always expected my mom to go first. I don’t have nearly enough support to help me get through this. Hanging out with one friend once a week just isn’t enough.

My Uber driver in Panama City just told me he likes Trump.

[quote] I tried to move her cart to the side; knocking a full venti mocha from Starbucks off of my own cart. It poured down my pants and over my white orthopedic shoes. I was a mess. This is not the world I grew up in. It discourages me.

Indeed. The world in which I grew up, grown men did not cart their supersized sugar bombs around grocery stores; they drank normal sized cups of coffee sitting at home or in diners and cafes.

Rainy days and Mondays.

My good friend and colleague of 20 years, Dave, was the pilot in the private jet crash in San Diego on Thursday. I had worked with him on at least a dozen artists when I was at labels, or when I went into management. He was truly one of the best people in the music business. No enemies, which is very rare for the industry. I'm very sad.

No one ever cared if I should live or die.

I’m with R11. The US is self destructing due to a now fascist party and its leader while the majority of the nation shrugs. It’s appalling.

While counting the 9 days until these charmless people are out of my life, I had a shred of insight. The son, who is 30, has just failed his classes immediately prior to graduation. He doesn't want to grow up and be independent and his mother, for whatever reason, wants to keep him as a 13-year-old. The really hard question is why my partner is part of this codependency and whether I need to get out. I probably do.

And yes, this is nothing compared to the destruction of a nation or the ill health folks on this thread are experiencing.

I am now able to feel a shred of pity for these people while all I felt previously was annoyance. I can't imagine being in the son's position, where every single bill is paid by Mommy and Daddy, and Mommy takes him to buy his clothes. He is not developmentally disabled. He is LD with no social skills and is fairly bright. I described this to a friend with a child, and she called it "parental malpractice."

The death of the First Amendment. It is being whittled down right and left.

The revolving sameness of daily life. Waking, eating, getting ready, working all day, making/eating/cleaning supper, paying bills, sleeping, and rinse and repeat. Brutal repetition. .

R6, is it time to consider a Golden Girls solution? Do you have friends you can pool your resources with?

Slapping faces randomly and viciously

The cemetery my dad is buried at is closed for the next 2-3 months after some low level tornados knocked down some trees. I’m nervous if there’s any damage to his headstone and I always bring flowers on Memorial Day weekend so I’m bummed.

[quote]What are you down about?

About a quart.

R54, unfortunately the chains broke and he clawed himself out and escaped.

We've notified the diocese.

Sorry you're bummed

I have been unemployed for nearly a year.

I do all the things, get invited into these incredibly long hiring processes, often get the face to face interview, have gotten final interviews, etc. But I’m not getting the offer, I’m not closing the deal. I’m 59.

I have a wealth of experience in technology, retail, hospitality, etc. I don’t want to think too much about age discrimination because there’s nothing I can do about it. But it feels very real. I feel like I’m just being discarded. And you can’t really speak to it, there’s not much you can do to combat it. In interviews, I acknowledge my maturity, acknowledge briefly that I have considerable experience in the work place. I give really good interview. And it feels like the 28 - 35 year-olds who are making these decisions are likely intimidated me. I’m friendly, I’m not overbearing, certainly not in the sense that I’m lording it over people or require people to bow down to me or something. I speak genuinely to my interest and what I have to offer. I really should have a job.

Today I did a group interview with a major multinational tech company to work in one of their experience stores. It was a group interview made up of 3 candidates and 3 hiring managers. The other 2 candidates were 19 and 20. The interview details said “business casual”. They wore what I guess I would call “PlayStation casual.” I don’t mind. I like working with younger people, I appreciate diversity in the workplace. A lot of these companies say they do too but I don’t think they really do. They say “be yourself” but ultimately show little appreciation for that. All of the existing employees seem pretty unspectacular. Anyway, after the interview, myself and the other two candidates were outside. I supported them in the interview, gave way to them, built upon what they were saying, acknowledged their points, etc. Unprompted, they said I was brilliant and that they loved the answers, stories and examples I gave. I felt present and relaxed during the interview and hoped for a good outcome. They said it might be weeks before we heard anything.

A few hours ago, I got the “we’re moving forward with other candidates” e-mail. I’m starting to worry I may never work again and I am at the end of my rope financially. I need to get a job this month. I don’t really know what I’m doing wrong - this was a “part-time, seasonal short term contract,” really low risk hire. I’m surprised, given my experience and potential, that they didn’t give me a try for 6 months. My gut tells me I need to somehow be less but then what does it look like if someone who has been in the work place for over 4 decades has nothing to say, no experience to share - how do you remove that experience from your voice? And what do you replace it with? At a certain point in life, just by virtue of surviving to say your 50s, you speak with some authority. And I am cautious, I don’t speak over people, I validate everyone’s experience, I’m not looking for special status. I just need a job. And I don’t know how to make myself even smaller. Once you’re in the job hunt for this long, it distorts you. It’s like I don’t know what to do anymore. Except maybe take a final exit while I still have a shred of dignity left, to at least do that on my own terms and avoid being a public spectacle. Like maybe I should take myself out while I still have some privacy. This is what happens to people. I don’t think the miracle is going to happen.

So sorry, R57. Wishing you the best.

R57 me as well, you're obviously a well experienced, thoughtful individual. I wish you the best and hope for good news for you soon.

I want to give you all a big hug. Whatever our current problems are, we've been here b4 and survived. Sometimes, when im concerned, i Know ive been worried or sad b4 and so i i try to remember what was bugging me back then, and most times i cant remember why i was upset in the past and the things i do remember often feel so silly. Self love and self care isnt being Selfish, its Survival. Big Kisses from Ireland. Xxx

R57 a good friend is 61 and hes going thru the same thing . He worked for the same company for almost 30 years ,has awesome references yet he cant get a job. Ive "lent" him money several times but I realize its more of a gift. He's a good guy and I hate it for him . I cant even offer up any platitudes to try to comfort him because this world makes no sense to me anymore. I hope it works out for you and all others going thru this. Its unfair and people should be able to sue somebody over this shit .

My M.S. is progressing faster.

I am so sorry, R62. I hope you have sufficient resources and support.

R3 It's June 1st. Has she packed yet? Is she ready to leave tomorrow?

I need another car right now and I only have 5000.00 saved. I wanted a muscle car but I don’t think God is down with that. I’m paralyzed with indecision.

Diagnosed with heart disease a few weeks ago. I am a runner, gym guy, non-smoker, but it's hereditary and I got it from my Dad. It's manageable with the meds, but it will never go away. Had two stents put in my LAD artery on April 7. Doc said most likely I will have more blockages, and I will have to deal with it.

R64, two more family members arrived last week. They are leaving on Wednesday. I have gone out every night with different friends. My partner asked me to be patient. I am not going to pretend these moochers are extended family. Thank you for asking. This seems very petty of me compared to what others on this thread are up against. But I find pathological family relationships hard to be around and do not intend to normalize this one.

R66, I am sorry you have this condition but you sound very capable of managing it with the good choices you have made. Stay well.

R57, you're making me want to cry.

But my bff (in NJ), 58, finally found a job after running out of unemployment and even borrowing money from her brother to pay her mortgage. I was heartbroken for her as well. She had just completed a M.S. in Data Science PT/Online from Northwestern a year prior to her entire division being laid off at her last job, and she was so depressed at being so broke and that long out of work she was ready to jump off a bridge. Many days I had to call her just to share her pain, because she and I both knew how difficult it was going to be for her.

And then she found a perfect job!! Her colleagues (all younger, of course) think she's a genius, and they're learning a lot from her. As well they should be.

Hang in there -- you never know, a perfect offer might be just around the corner from an employer who's going to truly appreciate what you "bring to the table."

I only have one month left before I have to be in the office four days a week. Ugh.

People who speak on tv, YouTube or the media with terrible speech, speech defects and UPSPEAK!

It is incredibly widespread.

R63

Thank you. I do. I'm very lucky.

I just wanted to say thank you to the posters who follow this thread, responded and offered well wishes. And R69, that was a great post. I’m happy to hear your friend found a way forward.

My body is still aching with disappointment, stress and fear. But I’m not giving up.

I was with my husband and a group of friends on the weekend and they suddenly decided to run for a bus when there was no hurry to get on one. This bus was about 6 blocks away. I was not wearing running shoes, I was wearing loafers- and have arthritis in my knees and hips. I can run but need to be prepared at this point. I still walk for exercise, but am not as fast as I used to be. I got upset about the running because it felt like no one cared about my lesser ability, and it was embarrassing. They were all there before me and I barely made it. I don't like having arthritis and it sucks for other people to just disregard you. I'm 55. They are all younger than me, H is 7 years younger and the friends in their late 30s. I don't wish for others to experience this but a little consideration would be nice.

R57 I'm so sorry. I would also find that tough. Keep trying, you sound like a great person. Maybe a job prospect that is less involved to get, would be better? Can you dumb yourself down a little? (Sad, but it's a valid question)

The uncharming houseguests finally left. I learned the 30-year-old son is on Medicaid because of his low income. He doesn't work but is enrolled as a fulltime student although he screwed up his final semester this year by not going to classes or doing his assignments. I think he wasn't ready to graduate.. The parents pay all his expenses including his college tuition and one bedroom apartment and he travels to Europe several times a year. He also has a trust fund. I really hope he loses his insurance. Moochers gonna mooch.

Just happy not to see these people. No, they're not Trumpers.

R74 - I'm curious. Why did you even try to catch up? I'd have waved goodbye and given my husband an earful when you got home. As someone who broke a hip just walking down the street, having to run six blocks without sneakers is absurd.

You need to think about the choices YOU make.

Amen R76 ! I also wouldnt have run and believe you me husband would bitterly regret his decision to do so . For years .