I Had Mock Tuna For Lunch Today- Homemade But It Gave Me A Lot Of Gas

Go away you boring cunt.

And make sure it's downwind!

Why not just eat tuna?

My neighbor's awesome vegan dyke daughter lives in ATL. A couple Christmases ago she was visiting here and brought us a Rubbermaid storage container of her vegan tuna salad. She used chickpeas for hers, and it was fantastic.

She also gave us a sleeve of club crackers to eat with the "tuna," and I hadn't the heart to tell her club crackers aren't vegan.

You're disgusting.

I totally respect veganism but if the issue is with not eating animals (amongst other things) then why would you want to eat a pretend version of an animal?

I love that we have a few posters who are such delicate flowers that they dare not name a body function by its vulgar, common name!

Miss OP does not fart, she passes wind!

One does not defecate, one voids one's bowels!

R7- Is that really any worse than a lot of queens here on the datalounge who say- I went to bed with him or I slept with him instead of saying I FUCKED him.

R8 but those are pretty common things to say. I haven't heard anyone say "I voided my bowels" since some old maid schoolmarm said it in the 70s.

No dick for you tonight

R9- What about-

I have to relieve myself.

The chickpea version with umeboshi vinegar is really quite good.

For R6, this doesn’t actually taste much like tuna, but is simply a nice sandwich filling. Vegans/vegetarians don’t just want to crunch on raw vegetables all the time. We want FLAVAH!

I've never eaten tuna that tastes like beans. If I did, I'd spit it out, something wrong there.

Beans cause gas is groundbreaking reporting.

But is it chicken or is it fish?

The recipe I used was from a cookbook I bought back in 1992 called Lean, Lucsious and Meatless. It is a silly name likely written by a FRAU but there are some good vegetarian recipes in the cookbook some vegan some just vegetarian. The Mock Tuna is vegan. I've modified the recipe considerable over the years and add a lot of things not in the recipe such as garlic powder, curry powder, black pepper, fresh parsely , lemon juice, vegenaise, tahini, dijon mustard.

Vegenaise has done me in.

Mind your serving sizes. An ample serving of beans is 1/2 cup of cooked beans in a single meal, and 1/3 of a cup is probably sufficient for most people. Sometimes I see people load up a great big bowl with beans, and I wonder how they think they're going to possibly digest those with no gastric distress?

Why not eat tuna?

R19 and r6, some vegans don't have a problem with the taste of meat or fish/seafood. They have a problem with the source of those foods.

That makes absolutely no sense, R20. Try again.

R20 is a fool.

Yes, I'm so stupid that I don't understand why you can't see that vegans want to eat versions of food that don't require animals to die.

If you love beans but hate dropping stink bombs, there are such easy ways to prepare them.

Low tech: the Long Soak. A full day. Changing the water every 6 hours or so. The water change is essential.

Next level: the shorter soak, 4 to 8 hrs but with baking soda in the water.

High tech: Cook in a pressure cooker. This breaks down nearly all the complex sugars that are the culprit of “flatulence most foul.”

R24- The Great White Northern Beans I used in my Mock Tuna had been soaking for 19 hours before simmering them for about 40 minutes.

Huh, weird that they were still so gaseous. That length of soak and cook time always works for me.

Excessive gas emissions could be quite dangerous around a flamer like you, OP.

But why, R23 - as you’re missing the point - does the food have to taste like dead animals if that is the issue?

Beans caused gas, who could have guessed something like that would happen.

EVERYONE

I make a lot when I make the Mock Tuna so I had the rest of it today. I enjoyed it.

No wind passed thus far and it has been one hour and twelve minutes since I finished lunch.

R12 - that looks hummus-adjacent.

I think the term 'mock tuna' is appropriate here because these dishes are literally mocking tuna - there's no way chick peas will taste like tuna. Chick peas with vinegar, mayo and celery is going to taste suspiciously close to hummus.

I would like to try it, but - c'mon now. It's pureed beans.