Kristi Noem’s plastic surgery

She's a hideous plastic ghoul - and that's AFTER the hours-long, full beauty treatment of hair and makeup (pounds of it). Imagine the horror show that is Noem's face first thing out of bed in the morning.

looks like a two-bit whore

Flyoverstan trash with money.

Every woman alive should feel offended by her. Terribly plastic inside and out.

That’s quite a Yikes when you zoom in. Caked-on makeup over pores that look like the moon. And the drawn-on hyper-angular eyebrows.

Her skin is so bumpy and uneven. Why didn't she invest in some good dermabrasion instead of the awful fillers.

a succubus. poor cricket.

She has the crazeee eyes.

In an alternate universe, Kristi Noem and Gretchen Whitmer would be two gal pals going together to visit cosmetic surgery clinics on a regular basis.

Don’t bring Whitmer into this.

The skin on this deplorable cunt.

I hope the next attorney general sentences her to a forced episiotomy with a rusty pair of scissors.

That’s not filler, it’s hydroxychloroquine….

See you at Brimstone Bridge, bitch.

There’s been some chatter that she was not happy when Trump cited both Vance & Rubio as possible successors & didn’t name check her, too.

She's got such a rough looking face. I can only imagine what she looks like without all that makeup. It must be ug-er-leeeee.

Crater face.

Not as bad as Thulsi Doom, but close

A helluva lot uglier than the ass of the puppy she murdered.

She looks much better in the before pic. She looked kinda like Jen Aniston. Her old haircut did not look professional- too many layers. She would have looked better with a short pixie style.

She sho’ is ugleeeee

She looks like a damned fool.

Sh looks botched and allergic whatever the Yankton dermatologist squeezed into her face.

scarecrow ugly

It looks in pain living inside of that face.

The MAGA Makeover makes their women look like drag queens... ironic, not iconic!

Does she do a lot of baking? Her face looks like it is melting from the heat of a hot oven.

LOL @ R26

Jesus Christ, that's a hard face to look at. The tinted contacts just add to the uncanny valley feel. Pretty appropriate for this administration - they're neither human nor genuine.

She looks like she’s about to shed her human shell.

what was the point of all the grifting and hoing to pay for surgery with this result?

You're so right R25. The irony of it all when they spend so much time accusing drag queens of grooming children...

She looks like a dog. Can we shoot her?

Dog killer.

Is it true her husband is a closet case and that’s why she sleeps around?

She looks like a Sex bot- one whose plastic fillers are migrating on her face

Why is her face so lumpy/bumpy?

Bad skin or she forgot to smooth the spackle?

She looks like she's wearing a mask in this photo. What exactly is done to one's face to make it look this way?

Photo at R37: Her neck! Her neck!

She would easily be the WORST "rich lady plastic surgery" in Paris, London or Geneva.

R38 Her pussy is showing!

Filler, botox and a mini facelift, r37?

Really poorly placed filler that just makes her looked dragged down and wider.

[quote]I can only imagine what she looks like without all that makeup.

She looka lika man.

She LOOKS embalmed.

She looks like she hates having eyes.

Crater Face Barbie.

Cruel puppy murderer is disgusting. Female version of Junior Mint, slaughterer of entrapped exotic animals.

R45 Definitely a Melania trait:

Pillow face and veiny hands @ R37. Can you put filler in your hands?

She looks laminated with a trowel

She shot her puppy in the face and it looks like the same thing happened to her.

Is this lip contour making a comeback? In the 90s, we called that having "a black belt in blow jobs".

Never forget what this cunt used to look like before she decided to become the version of a woman that Trump wants to fuck:

You'd think with all the procedures she's had, they'd be able to figure out how to fix the giant pores on her face.

Christ, you could store spare change in 'em.

So many questions! Why does her skin look so much worse in the more recent photos where she is wearing MORE makeup? It looks like she is covering up acne scars, but I don’t see them in the earlier photos. And isn’t she young enough (barely) that unusually severe teenage acne would have been treated and scars avoided? Is it possible she’s developed a skin condition recently? Has she actually had a lot of surgery surgery, or is it mostly just makeup and fillers? Is she really wearing colored contact? What color are her real eyes? I think maybe she has light eyes that change with lighting and clothing colors.

I googled images of her and it seems like she looked very non-coastal and prematurely matronly prior to around 2020. Then she actually looked pretty good. Now she looks hideous. Any future political opponent should run ads that, on the surface, discuss things she has done or to not done but are actually designed to show her appearance transformation.

R56 I've got my fingers crossed that her skin looks so bad now because she got an infection from all her filler treatments that's slowly devouring her face and that within a year, she'll be dead.

She’s artificial and void of compassion.

She’s shown her cruelty.

Please, another face lift and she will have a beard.

LOL @ Mel's "fock mee" gaze @ R48

Has the veterinary dermatology field been consulted?

If the puppy killer's complexion were plagued by mere enlarged pores, the cosmetic industry could easily provide coverup remedies. However, today's maximum coverage foundations are not formulated to cover newly emerging reptilian scales.

I’m thinking more Laua Loomer-ish.

That will be next R62.

This cunt needs to have her neck broken.

R55 non-coastal, LOL that’s putting it lightly

[quote]non-coastal, LOL that’s putting it lightly

She looks like a cast member of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Orange County, or Beverly Hills, all very coastal.

And she piles on the ugly with that hair and her costumes. What does SHE see when she looks in the mirror?

No, dear.

[quote]looks like a two-bit whore

She's not worth two bits even with inflation.

Whores get paid.

Who would even pay for this dogface?

She makes Guilfoyle look good.

With all the comments about Noem's face she can now be officially referred to Crusty Gnome. If her current gig doesn't work out, she could open a lap dancing studio to help supplement her DHS pension.

How talented is Kristi? Can she twirl a pastie/tassel on her left nipple one way, while twirling the pastie/tassel on her right nipple the other way?

Miss Lindsey knows how to do it.

the puppy killer always wears a baseball cap to keep her wig on

Ugly psycho bitch. Her outside matches her inside.

Theil’s face has craters you could hide spare change in as well.

Plus, his skin looks like an over fried sausage about to split open.

I guess these cunts have the faces they deserve - scarred, lumpy, fried, and ugly. Just like their souls (assuming they have a soul).

I think she's tremendous

On a placard of a woman protesting yesterday:

A POEM

ABOUT NOEM

She Shot Her Dog

SHE'S A CUNT

[Quote] She looks like she hates having eyes.

Because of mirrors

They all look like 2025 versions of Stepford wives… the FOX girls as well with requisite blond.

I wonder how long it takes her to put herself together every morning.

Strumpet

The Whore of Watertown does not allow you to ask questions in her presence. No, she’s the smartest person in the room. Facts be damned.

R73 - if she was in her 30's she might be able to pull THAT off. However, her twerking skills would be more applicable to lap dancing hence a sample of her ability to pull that off.

I hate Kristi Noem.

I hope whatever got her to the hospital kills her off.

We all should.

Imagine what the skin on her face feels like.

Picasso face.

It's okay, I just put a paper bag over her head when we fuck. Or fuck her in the ass. She's high most of the time and doesn't mind.

Unqualified huz cruel to animals. Nothing about her is admirable.

R88 I’m glad you take care of my wife for me.