Armie Hammer announces fake movie project, roping the Safdie Bros. into latest meltdown

Apple TV is giving a show to anyone. Maybe he should try there.

Be careful Arm, people might start thinking you really are an out of control sociopath.

He called the paps today so he could be photographed reading a script

Oh Armie. You would have been so dashing in middle age.

Apparently the meltdown might be attributed to his resumption of communication with the House of Effie, which she had just posted on her Instagram story, along with his phone number

Oh NM

Someone who is named “Tay Nicole” who is confirmed as a producer on the Uwe Boll film, apparently got her account hacked by some in Czechia

She appears to have a Norma Desmond/Joe Gillis relationship with Armie

I’m so confused, again

I love him to sit on my face.

Assume this is her

She took him to an event in Beverly Hills this week, and then presumably to shop for vicuña

Does he eat regular food, too?

Is he the Super of a building ??

LOL

It’s “American Gigolo meets American Psycho.”

I could pitch this. Who would star? Elordi maybe.

Never mind this is “Tay Nicole”

She apparently has a lot of money.

Okay There is this fat girl who is a starfucker. She sometimes goes by Gia and sometimes Tay Nicole. Her phone got hacked. The hacker saw that she had a relationship with Armie Hammer and gave the hacked files to his accuser, Effie. Effie is going through her phone and is posting screenshots on Twitter.

The fat girl gave Uwe Boll $500K to become a producer on Armie’s movie.

Get back to us when he develops muscle tone.

With a gorgeous face like that - nobody cares about muscle tone except in his cock R14.

So over these rich little boys trying to be gritty and dangerous .

OK I get it now. He’s being blackmailed.

1. So there’s this fat girl “Gia” who is a singer/actress who wants to break into Hollywood.

2. The fat girl is a starfucker who sends fetish pics to famous people on social media.

3. She gets in touch with Armie Hammer who of course begins a relationship with her.

4. She knows what kind of person he is, so she begins documenting it. Armie sends DMs via vanishing messages, but she documents everything by recording all the messages using a second phone.

5. Armie shoots an exploitation film for Uwe Boll.

6. After the film is completed, “Gia” invests half a million dollars in the production, moves to LA and begins working for Uwe Boll.

7. Why does “Gia” have half a million dollars to invest in a schlock production that will never make any money?

8. She doesn’t. She’s fronting the money. These schlock productions are money laundering schemes. Independent film is one of the easiest venues for organized crime to launder money because of poor transparency and creative accounting. Per the contract, she will receive 20% of the revenues back. That 20% is the laundered money she fronted, being returned to a shell corporation, which is now “clean.”

9. So Uwe Boll, whose business model is probably built on money laundering, had half a million dollars he needed to launder and needed a front with no links to the mob. Armie hooked him up with this girl. She fronts the money, and Uwe Boll gives her an EP credit and a do-nothing job at his production company.

10. Now something has gone wrong. She decides to blackmail Armie.

11. She sets up a bizarre Twitter account with a lot of gibberish claiming to be a hacker from the Czech Republic who has somehow gotten a hold of “Gia”’s phone.

12. Then she gets in contact with the House of Effie, and is now feeding her screenshots of her communications with Armie.

13. I don’t understand why she just doesn’t leak his nudes. Women.

ChatGPT gives it a 7.5 out of 10 plausibility rating:

Not bad. Honestly, it holds together pretty well as a low-tier, small-time laundering scheme narrative. Here are the strengths, weak spots, and plausibility verdict:

⸻

Strengths (Realistic Elements)

• Independent film as a laundering vehicle: 100% realistic. Low-budget productions with inflated budgets are classic laundering fronts.

• “Gia” as a disposable front: Plausible. Criminals often use people with no direct ties to criminal organizations to act as fall guys or financial fronts.

• 20% kickback structure: This kind of profit participation or recoupment is commonly used in laundering as a way to disguise returns.

• Uwe Boll-type figure: Someone notorious for making awful, money-losing films could plausibly attract shady investors or be part of laundering networks.

• Weaponizing personal dirt via social media leaks: Extremely believable in today’s media and influencer ecosystem.

⸻

Weak Spots (Could Use Tightening)

1. The Size of the Laundered Amount

• Half a million dollars is a bit small for serious organized crime laundering. Usually, they prefer to clean millions, since the risk of detection or exposure exists no matter the amount. Still, it could be part of a series of small transactions.

2. Gia’s Role Feels Risky for the Launderer

• Why involve an unpredictable “starfucker” who could blackmail or go rogue? Launderers typically prefer trusted operatives, not loose cannons with emotional leverage like sexual relationships.

• BUT… if she’s desperate, broke, and easy to control, they might view her as low risk until she flips.

3. Armie as the Go-Between

• While not impossible, it seems like a high-profile liability to use a celebrity as the middleman between a mob operation and a random civilian.

• That said, if he’s desperate, out of work, and trying to curry favor with shady producers, it could fit.

4. The Weird Twitter Persona as a Hacker

• This is more of a theatrical flourish than something a real professional would do. True leaks tend to happen more directly and anonymously (e.g., through journalists or burner accounts).

• However, chaotic people do stupid, public things all the time, so it’s not totally out of bounds.

⸻

Overall Plausibility Rating: 7.5/10

It works best as a low-level scam involving desperate, messy people—not a high-level cartel or mafia operation. It’s more “Hollywood sleaze” than “Sicilian mob.” But that’s part of what makes it believable in its own right—Hollywood is full of these fringe, delusional, clout-chasing strivers who think they’re playing in the big leagues.

Would you like me to refine this as a narrative treatment or script logline?

Blackmailed to do what? Or is this just another frau trying to switch responsibility for Hammer's own actions off him and on to a woman?

Who knows. Hell hath no fury like a fat starfucker scorned.

You don't just grow out of a sadistic cannibalism fetish.

This is the account that is feeding Effie the “hacked materials”. Obviously it’s Gia.

lol.

R15 hello gorgeous

This is the apology he wrote to “Gia.” It sounds like it was indeed a Baby Reindeer scenario. He gets involved with these women and makes it very intense, then he gets bored and discards them. I don’t think he’s done it on a fat girl before so he probably wasn’t prepared for her to go “Martha”. In the last paragraph, he is begging her not to release their messages, so she was definitely blackmailing him.

I don't think you know what blackmail is.

Emotional blackmail is blackmail. She wanted him back in her life. She wanted that D.

Don't try and pretend you were talking about emotional blackmail all along. The idea that he would ask her not to show anyone else the messages as being proof of emotional blackmail makes zero sense.

Also, can we take a moment to note he has learned nothing? He's still sending incriminating messages to women even after everything? He's irredeemably stupid.

Are you that pedantic asshole who always argues with everyone?

Yes you are!

Elizabeth is the true & perfect definition of “Sneaky, manipulative, bad intentioned” BITCH.

SHE is the one who orchestrated this ENTIRE movement against AH.

I will almost always side with women who have been genuinely abused, IF they’re telling the WHOLE truth, however, here, the truth is that Elizabeth set out to destroy her then husband, now ex-husband, who cheated on her, & had horrible yet harmless sexual fantasies that were OBVIOUSLY not acted upon.

AH never, EVER, excised anyone’s flesh for actual, real, human consumption. He’s just a weirdo, who has odd sexual fantasies. This doesn’t make him a serial killer or a sexual predator, as his affair partners continued or immediately cut off contact with him, depending on the comfort level with his odd, but real fantasies, which Elizabeth already knew about BEFORE she married him, & then decided to weaponize against him.

The ONLY thing I’m quite critical of, is AH’s decision to pursue these fantasies while his children were in his care. That’s inexcusable, & in and of itself, SERIOUS AF.

Instead of portraying her husband as, now ex husband accurately, Liz manipulated & most probably paid AH’s affair partners, to make him out to be a monster, which he is NOT.

He’s simply a run of the mill sex addict, & she’s a CUNT for attempting to make him out to be someone he actually IS NOT.

BEST of luck to AH! He legitimately deserves a 2nd chance, & I hope he gets it!

Armie has several relationships with women whom he has treated them badly while at the same time providing them with all the ammunition they need to destroy him.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde

To have it happen once is misfortune

Twice is carelessness

Three times is masochism.

Is this the final push he needed to make the switch? We know he's wanted to before.

R29 Are you that neurotic asshole who can't stand to be exposed as a dolt?

My how you kweens & frauen go one about mediocre white men.

r29 It's not my fault you post bullshit.

r31 I'm sure you have lots of evidence to back up your theories, right?

Next up: "Birdemic 4: Eaten Alive"

r37 Probably still too challenging for him

The House of Effie is now posting communications with Uwe Boll on her social media.

She is rendering Armie completely toxic and unhireable, even to the dregs of the filmmaking community.

Armie’s cancellation was not so much about the disgusting but unprovable allegations, but the fact that he is unable to control or filter his online behavior, even through reasonable precautionary measures like using a burner account to communicate on social media.