I am the intense smell coming from one of the bedrooms. It's not the dead body. It's...
Cheryl's very-much-alive pussy!
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I am the intense smell coming from one of the bedrooms. It's not the dead body. It's...
Cheryl's very-much-alive pussy!
by Anonymous | reply 111 | May 6, 2025 6:36 AM |
š š š
by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 26, 2025 9:34 PM |
I'm Muriel in a blood-soaked caftan.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 26, 2025 9:38 PM |
[quote] I'm Muriel in a blood-soaked caftan.
I'm Muriel's period. I happen twice a month.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 26, 2025 9:42 PM |
I am the vague odor of fish and prunes coming from the kitchen, not-quite-masking the stench of a dead body.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 26, 2025 10:10 PM |
I'm the Tina Turner clock, missing from the wall.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 26, 2025 10:18 PM |
Colonel Mustard killed Cheryl in the study, with a knife
by Anonymous | reply 6 | April 26, 2025 10:19 PM |
I'm the copious amounts of pot, silly. No one knows if I'm poisonous and nobody cares.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 26, 2025 10:22 PM |
I'm the wall of books in the victims apartment. He thinks it makes him look cultured and sophisticated.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 26, 2025 10:22 PM |
I'm Truman Capote and I've called all the DLers together to my manse.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | April 26, 2025 10:23 PM |
Hopefully, I'm the victim.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 26, 2025 10:35 PM |
I'm Gore Vidal's murdered corpse. Capote murdered me!!!
by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 26, 2025 10:48 PM |
I'm the perpetrator's doll and curios collection.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 26, 2025 10:49 PM |
I'm a high heel through the eye.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | April 26, 2025 10:50 PM |
Iām the dark and stormy night playing hell with everybodyās hair.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 26, 2025 10:59 PM |
I'm this thread, failing horribly.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 26, 2025 11:02 PM |
R15 is the killer.
The thread killer.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | April 26, 2025 11:03 PM |
Iām Gerg, the cook. More monkeyās brains?
by Anonymous | reply 17 | April 26, 2025 11:04 PM |
I'm the shattered soup tureen from Mother's china set. I made the most ghastly sound when I hit the wall.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | April 26, 2025 11:14 PM |
I'm the lead investigator. I'm hair-triggered Butch on the streets, and an insatiable bottom in the sheets.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | April 26, 2025 11:16 PM |
I'm the soft butch sous chef. I did it
by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 26, 2025 11:17 PM |
I'm dialing 'M' with a pencil.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | April 26, 2025 11:17 PM |
R21 wins.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | April 26, 2025 11:23 PM |
I am rescue chick's pitbull gently dabbing her mouth with a napkin and contemplating her alibi.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | April 26, 2025 11:24 PM |
I am the emotion underlying the motive for this crime. I am love.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | April 26, 2025 11:24 PM |
Is it a rescue pit bull?
by Anonymous | reply 25 | April 26, 2025 11:24 PM |
I am the poisoned nutloaf.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | April 26, 2025 11:25 PM |
Will it be entitled āSquirrels, Deathā?
by Anonymous | reply 27 | April 26, 2025 11:25 PM |
I'm the cash bar being hastily set up for the funeral.
Let the bitching commence!
by Anonymous | reply 28 | April 26, 2025 11:31 PM |
I was molested
by Anonymous | reply 29 | April 26, 2025 11:41 PM |
I'm the terribly-pleased-with-myself poster musing that "something doesn't add up" about the story, in-between inhales of Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | April 26, 2025 11:42 PM |
I am the person accusing the corpse of being an EST.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | April 26, 2025 11:43 PM |
I'm the utterly useless clue that an eldergay wearing a caftan was seen fleeing the area, screaming "I look 25!"
Well, no shit, Sherlock. Can you narrow it down a bit.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | April 26, 2025 11:44 PM |
I am the layers of nacreous permacum congrealing on the bedroom floor.
I have nothing to do with the murder, but I will keep the forensic team busy for months!
by Anonymous | reply 33 | April 27, 2025 12:23 AM |
I'm Janbot with a pink bedazzled rifle.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | April 27, 2025 12:43 AM |
I am the mysterious femme fatale played by 70s Islamic supermodel Ypir.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | April 27, 2025 2:54 AM |
I am the emotional courtroom confession.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | April 27, 2025 2:57 AM |
I'm the fat whore.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | April 27, 2025 3:00 AM |
I just wish they'd stop telling me "I am NOT one of your fans!" r36. I really don't care.
Also, I know you're not the perp. Just stop.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | April 27, 2025 3:02 AM |
I'm the clandestine meeting between partners in crime.
In the second floor men's room in Macy's at 8pm.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | April 27, 2025 4:19 AM |
Iām dialing from inside the house - with a pencil.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | April 27, 2025 4:24 AM |
I“m the second victim. A beloved sassy musical star who after performing her signature number is warned by her mousy dresser that there is a murderer in the building.
My last words in life are "Stop acting like a silly school girl! The only murderer here is the Orchestra Leader."
I“ve planted my last tree....
by Anonymous | reply 41 | April 27, 2025 7:43 AM |
I'm the cryptic note, "Ask for a murdered bussy, get a murdered bussy"
by Anonymous | reply 42 | April 27, 2025 12:48 PM |
Don't you dare fucking look at me.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | April 27, 2025 12:49 PM |
That's Darfur Orphan in the kitchen! He's raiding the fridge!
by Anonymous | reply 44 | April 27, 2025 2:23 PM |
i'm the loaf of bread left in the Refrigerator
by Anonymous | reply 45 | April 27, 2025 2:50 PM |
I'm Jessica Fletcher, volunteering to help catch the murderer
by Anonymous | reply 46 | April 27, 2025 3:45 PM |
I'm the sassy maid. I know everyone's secrets and where all the bodies are buried, literally and figuratively.
And I ain't nobody's damn fool.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 27, 2025 3:53 PM |
I'm the DOGE inspector reviewing the gender and ethnicity of the cast for deviations from the 1928 original. If I find one more hint of DEI, your funding is GONE!
by Anonymous | reply 48 | April 27, 2025 4:09 PM |
I'm the hushed whispers in the courtroom:
Psst**
"Look at the cheekbones on Darfur: surgery or diet and exercise?"
"And those flies flying around his head, gurl needs to change his cologne."
"Bitch is guilty, though."
by Anonymous | reply 49 | April 27, 2025 4:29 PM |
I am risen, 'cause I know the shit is going to hit the fan any moment now.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | April 27, 2025 4:51 PM |
The murderer was an illegal!!!
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 27, 2025 4:59 PM |
There is no mystery here.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | April 27, 2025 5:00 PM |
[quote] I was molested
Amazing that you worked that into the victim's eulogy, Lorna.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | April 27, 2025 5:07 PM |
"I'm Jessica Fletcher, volunteering to help catch the murderer"
This is THE DATALOUNGE. Let me fix this for you:
I'm Jessica Felcher, volunteering to help...
by Anonymous | reply 54 | April 27, 2025 5:40 PM |
I'm Jan Terri, your singing telegram!
by Anonymous | reply 55 | April 27, 2025 5:59 PM |
I'm sorry miss OP, but with all due respect, I've got problems of my own!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | April 27, 2025 6:09 PM |
Jessica, take your old ass back to Cabot Cove. I got this!
by Anonymous | reply 57 | April 27, 2025 6:11 PM |
I hate to step on anyone's toes, of course, but FUCK YOU, LaToilet.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | April 27, 2025 7:41 PM |
I'm the Last Will & Testament of the murder victim. At the reading, in the presence of the detective and the suspects, gasps and choked cries were heard at these words: "I hereby do not make any provision for any of my children. For reasons well known to them."
by Anonymous | reply 59 | April 28, 2025 4:11 PM |
I'm the basic bitch circuit gay and I'm too busy thinking about my outfit for the upcoming White Party to pick up on any of the clues!
by Anonymous | reply 60 | April 30, 2025 7:41 PM |
I am the murderer. I have a ten-inch dick that will get me off -in more ways than one.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | April 30, 2025 8:15 PM |
I'm the soft butch sous chef who found the drained pasta in the sink
by Anonymous | reply 62 | April 30, 2025 8:20 PM |
Iām the blood stained can of powdered floor cleaner in the bathroom that the recently fired Ms. Jenkins said was clean.
Close by are the clothes taken off of wire hangers that they werenāt supposed to be on.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | April 30, 2025 8:28 PM |
Touch nothing!
by Anonymous | reply 64 | April 30, 2025 8:38 PM |
Iām a crumpled receipt clearly marked āOnce Around the Gardenā found in the victimās pocket.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | April 30, 2025 8:40 PM |
I am a Dallas A gay heading to the gym at 5 AM.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | April 30, 2025 8:50 PM |
i'm the can of frosting
by Anonymous | reply 67 | April 30, 2025 8:59 PM |
I'm the cloth bag (as a child might have) left behind at Ruth's Chris
by Anonymous | reply 68 | April 30, 2025 8:59 PM |
I'm Jive
by Anonymous | reply 69 | April 30, 2025 8:59 PM |
I'm the can of Crisco found under the bed. I stymie the poor, straight detective who feels this out-of-place item must be an important clue -but he can't figure out what it means...
by Anonymous | reply 70 | April 30, 2025 9:30 PM |
Iām a wheeled suitcase found abandoned on the streets of New York
by Anonymous | reply 71 | April 30, 2025 9:41 PM |
I'm the bloodied Madame Alexander doll in the clutches of the 2nd victim. Several of the suspects are circling the evidence bag, hoping to clean it up and get out.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | April 30, 2025 9:53 PM |
Iām the crab walk
by Anonymous | reply 73 | April 30, 2025 10:17 PM |
I'm the crabs. In the bed. Sadly, the victim was such a slut that crabs won't necessarily prove who the murderer is.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | April 30, 2025 10:31 PM |
I am the suitcase stolen at Minnesota airport containing African designer clothes and two medium sized Manila envelopes.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | April 30, 2025 11:49 PM |
I'm the homicidal fatty on the lam, and there's a statewide manhunt for me.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | May 1, 2025 12:07 AM |
Iām Erwin, the Filipino houseboy. My lips are sealedā¦for now.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | May 1, 2025 12:14 AM |
I'm the excessive amount of Red Dragon Cheese on the counter, much more than I was entitled to purchase.
I'm probably the motive.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | May 1, 2025 12:14 AM |
I'm the title of the novel, "The Murders in the Rue McClanahan."
by Anonymous | reply 79 | May 1, 2025 12:22 AM |
I'm the graxy down the front of the victim's trousers.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | May 1, 2025 12:44 AM |
I'm the rough trade with an icepick!!!
by Anonymous | reply 81 | May 1, 2025 12:54 AM |
I'm the who, the how, and the "Ha!"
by Anonymous | reply 82 | May 1, 2025 1:18 AM |
Wait! Thereās something in the victimās mouth.
Hold on. Just a second . . .
Is that a frozen meatball?
by Anonymous | reply 83 | May 1, 2025 1:18 AM |
āHa, Iāll sayā
by Anonymous | reply 84 | May 1, 2025 1:21 AM |
Iām motive: what the victim found in Murielās nightstand drawer.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | May 1, 2025 2:05 AM |
I'm the colander in the sink with pasta in it suggesting motive....
by Anonymous | reply 86 | May 1, 2025 2:09 AM |
Were Margaret OāBrien and June Allyson in our Depends and wheelchairs, offset still competing as to who can cry most and first as they prepare to film their upcoming cameo in Datalounge Soundstage G!
by Anonymous | reply 87 | May 1, 2025 3:00 AM |
^ Fcuking āāWeāreā¦ā!!!
by Anonymous | reply 88 | May 1, 2025 3:00 AM |
R77, a Filipino houseboy is not called Erwin. He is called Newton.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | May 1, 2025 3:56 AM |
Iām the reminder that trans women of color are far more likely to be murdered than whoever got killed here.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | May 1, 2025 4:31 AM |
Iām the mistaken identity
by Anonymous | reply 91 | May 1, 2025 11:44 AM |
Iām the title: āThe Lethal Load: Dawsonās Deadly Weekendā
by Anonymous | reply 92 | May 1, 2025 12:26 PM |
I'm the hunky chief inspector who mysteriously knew all the victims....
intimately.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | May 1, 2025 4:59 PM |
I am an axe, four mutilated rose bushes and the appalling misuse of two dozen wire hangers in the murder garden,
by Anonymous | reply 94 | May 1, 2025 5:01 PM |
I'm Posey McGlynn.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | May 2, 2025 12:48 AM |
Iām Parker posey
by Anonymous | reply 96 | May 2, 2025 2:50 AM |
After a preliminary investigation, I can announce that this murder was LITERAL VIOLENCE!!
by Anonymous | reply 97 | May 2, 2025 3:33 AM |
Tonight, we finally find out who killed Jani Lane!
by Anonymous | reply 98 | May 2, 2025 3:12 PM |
Finally!
by Anonymous | reply 99 | May 2, 2025 6:04 PM |
I am a lithe Turkish muscleboy named Cigarette, gently rubbing my thumb between my lips and beckoning the new Detective Sergeant with a smoky-eyed confession of hoped-for guilt. Neither of us hears the music in the club, or notices that the dancers in the spotlight have disrobed and he is strangling her with his whip.
In two nights I shall be served in a daube at Le Bar de la Marine.
This is my story.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | May 4, 2025 12:38 AM |
YES!. r87. I sold a bejeweled caftan to Margaret o Brien.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | May 4, 2025 6:34 AM |
I'm the library where the body was found. A bloodied Tom Ford book, weighing 12 pounds, was found next to the victim's caved-in cranium.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | May 4, 2025 12:46 PM |
Iām the air-fried potatoes in a small box. It has an odor that wafts across the building and helps with the dead aroma.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | May 5, 2025 12:12 AM |
I'm Mike, only here to provide the bitchy commentary that moves the story along.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | May 5, 2025 12:23 AM |
Youre the bitch
by Anonymous | reply 105 | May 5, 2025 10:57 AM |
[quote]I'm the library where the body was found. A bloodied Tom Ford book, weighing 12 pounds, was found next to the victim's caved-in cranium.
Still, we have no leads.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | May 5, 2025 3:29 PM |
I'm tracing a set of dark brown footprints left by the suspect, leading backwards through the Bellagio to the ladies' room...
by Anonymous | reply 107 | May 5, 2025 4:20 PM |
I am the tiny hole drilled into the wall of the victim's bedroom, where a small camera was nearly invisibly mounted. What was it doing there? Who had removed it? And when? The police detective vowed to scour the darkest corners of the internet in search of the footage that might break this case wide open...
by Anonymous | reply 108 | May 5, 2025 9:51 PM |
JIMMMMMMAAAAYYYYY!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 109 | May 6, 2025 1:15 AM |
IāLL SAY!
by Anonymous | reply 110 | May 6, 2025 1:44 AM |
I'm the victim's landlady, a well preserved former actress who wears a lot of hairspray. The victim knew every play and TV show I was ever in, and that's why I never raised his rent.
Basically I'm in the story to provide a role for actresses of a certain age. I also noticed something significant once when I let myself in with the superintendent's key... but that scene may be cut for time.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | May 6, 2025 6:36 AM |
Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.
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