I don’t enjoy sex

So, in current parlance, it sounds like you are romantic, but asexual. Or if that is rigid a way of describing it, maybe you just experience desire and pleasure in a primarily non-genitally-centered way. Nothing wrong with that and I suspect you might find a pot for your kid. But what’s important is not to send the wrong or confusing messages to anyone you might want to try to date.

you do sound boring.

Same OP, exactly the same.

OP- You don't even like to receive a blow job- because that is MY favorite sexual activity.

[quote] you might find a pot for your kid.

Intriguing. Is that a euphemism?

I was highly sexed from my teenage years until the age of about 52. I'm 58 now and have no sexual desire whatsoever.

OP = Cheryl Hines

Well. you still have that lovely personality, OP.

And of course your mirror.

A lower sex drive is so much better for me. I wasted so much time chasing dick in my youth.

"There I said it."

Who the hell cares if you did or didn't say it?

OP = Sharon Stone.

[quote] I wasted so much time chasing dick in my youth.

Not a waste at all!

[quote] I wasted so much time chasing dick in my youth.

Oops. I thought you wrote “sticking dick in youth.

Again apologies.

what r9 said x 100

OP, have you ever been in love? I have no interest in sex until I develop really strong feelings for a guy, then I can’t get enough of it.

I’ve met an astounding number of men who don’t like blow jobs. It’s my fave to give and get.

I have high testosterone. Always have. I have a high sex drive, but I don’t always want anally penetrative sex. Making out for an hour followed by a nice BJ is fine with me. A lot of times I’m good with no BJ.

R16- I'm not sure what would be indicative of a HIGH sex drive. I would say my sex drive is neither high nor low but medium.

R17 I guess I could do it everyday multiple times a day if readily available is high?

OP, I too like the romantic aspect and am attracted to men aesthetically but don’t like intimacy or much in the way of sex. I have never been into porn either and much of it repulses me. I don’t like cock. I think penises are unattractive, and I wouldn’t give them a second glance if they weren’t the male sex organ. I much prefer asses but abhor anal sex. I wish men had nothing up front like Ken dolls. I think I would just prefer androids rather than flesh and blood men.

I don't really enjoy it either. I much prefer cuddling, kissing, hugging.....

[quote] I’ve met an astounding number of men who don’t like blow jobs. It’s my fave to give and get.

They have low self esteem.

R1. kid = kind

I love dick so much that at points in my life I thought I might be crazy. Still the case today.

I agree with r9. Having a high sex drive can be a hindrance in life. I guess it can bring great pleasure, but also looms as a constant distraction or preoccupation at the cost of so much else that life has to offer.

OP, your disinterest in actual sex reminds me of Marlene Dietrich. Her daughter wrote that Dietrich didn’t really enjoy sex and mostly did it to fulfill an expectation. The expectation, in her case, was created quite consciously, as she loved seduction and the power that inspiring sexual desire carried with it. (I doubt that part is you, OP.)

It has made me wonder, though: how many people who appear highly sexual really aren’t, and what it’s like feel genuine apathy about something that others assume is primary to your being.

I love dry humping while making out.

Looks like a lot here need to embrace their inner Frau.

Some Winter mug cradling will really hit the spot and help you forget about the latest fibro attack.

If you're too focused on the frame it brings the art into question.

R26- What if the art has no frame?

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Neither me, OP! :( We go shop together!??? :)

Sounds like low testosterone. Women get the same thing post menopause. Hormones impact everything.

It could mean a gray ace orientation also. That basically means there’s a lack of sexual attraction to much lower extent than average, but often not associated with complete repulsion at all times.

I liken it to the strip club analogy. I like sexual activity, and aesthetic attraction even more so. More men, but sometimes the opposite sex too. But a strip club of either gender, for example, is just too much or not the type of titillation I’d prefer.

I like blue.

With all due respect, ma’am, I have problems of my own.

I hooked up with a guy from Grindr. When I was sucking his (really big) dick he said "I'm a bottom. I'm not going to cum." Huh. You can't cum from a blow job because you're a bottom?

Me, too, R24. Let’s get married.

I think sex gets old because we expected so much more. We expected love and trust. All we got was an hour of feeling good.

OP - I think there is some social conditioning at play.

I grew up in a similar environment as you and I've always felt like I don't fit in with the hypersexual gay world. I hate people talking and joking about sex - it just makes me uncomfortable. I'm very open about sex - but I just don't like when people talk about GETTING COCK and talking explicitly about doing or wanting sex acts outside of the bedroom. It seems trashy.

I've had a fairly active sex life and have done a lot of things - but I prefer to be in a relationship. The idea of being a 'sex pig' or some of the other things you see online is just weird and alien to me. If you want to do it, fine - but don't call people who don't want to do that 'prudes'.

I always have a lot of anxiety about sex - even though I'm fit and have an above avg penis size (not HUGE or write-home worthy). I'm always wondering if the other person is enjoying it or what I should do - I don't want them to be disappointed.

But the mental thinking will lose the passion for me. I've had a lot of passionate sex - but I've also had a lot of 'faked' obligatory sex when I just was thinking TOO much and not enjoying things.

I feel like the mental part is about expectations and also making sure the other person is having fun.

Maybe that's normal - but no one talks about the mental stuff during sex. I'm sure many people do this - but all you see on TV and films are this animalistic raging sex without any thoughts. We all know it's not realistic, but because we don't see the other - it makes us feel self-conscious when we're not doing the animal sex.

I'll never figure it out - I still like sex. I just wish I could do it without the anxiety like so many other people seem to do.

An hour, r36?

Well, at least now you know that, OP.

Sex is much stranger than people make it out to be. It’s a whole different psychological state, a primal assertion of our deepest desires. I always think conservatives are funny they way they’re like, “If we don’t tell them about it, teenagers will never figure it out!” It’s internal, desirous, it overwhelms us, mentally, and compels us to do extreme things, even put ourselves at risk. Even death. It’s crazy.

R37 I don't have anxiety about sex. I just don't enjoy it. Like I said the romantic part of it, the seduction, is fine. But the nitty-gritty of it puts me to sleep. I also think that men - who are usually more concerned about cumming for themselves- turn me off as well. Sex is such a selfish act in many ways, and the whole idea that my body is a sexual toy for someone else is disgusting to me. Also gay men want everything to be like a porn movie. That is all fake shit. It seems that you have to be in the moment. In moment I am bored especially when I have to keep turning someone on who isn't doing the same for me. And for that work and sweat it is not worth it. I can jack- off on my own, please myself, and move on with the day..

So, would you consider yourself a eunuch of some sort?

I hate spring.

"Sex is such a selfish act in many ways, and the whole idea that my body is a sexual toy for someone else is disgusting to me."

Well that sounds somewhat nihilistic and is likely the explanation. Personally, the idea that I am a sexual toy for someone else is a turn on.

R43 - agreed, that mindset would make me feel used, if you're not into that.

It always seems like it's hard to get the balance right - particularly with 2 men if there aren't clearly defined roles in the bedroom, which I don't like and find very restricting.

With straight people it seems more straight-forward.

Sex is more complicated in reality than people admit, particularly in a relationship. But that may also be just me and overthinking it.

R40/OP- You don't like penises and you don't like men.

Are you a LESBIAN?

R27 If there is no frame then the Art must stand on its own without the benefit of a frame.