I have a question for Eldergays about Call Me By Your Name

In that demographic, yes.

Contrast Call Me By Your Name versus Moonlight

Italian artist sensitive mamma versus cracked out aggressive ghetto whore mama

And the father on [italic]Call Me By Your Name[/italic] was an upper middle class liberal intellectual.

OP, so you watched the film but you didn't catch his father's speech? Are you just terribly stupid?

R2 How very random. Not the comparison but the lack of an argument. What point are you trying to make?

R4 ???? I clearly watched the film and am asking about the accuracy as fair as his scholarly parents progressivism in 1983. I felt like it was realistic but just wanted to know what DL thought. You feeling ok?

R4, for some people, the father's acceptance may have been such a shock that they didn't really hear the full details of what the father was saying, let alone comprehend how any father could come from that place.

R5 I was replying to r1

R7 I understood the speech completely. That person just wants to be an asshole. It kinda has no bearing on my question. I mean it does but it’s fucking nonsensical. It takes place within the film.

Btw I didn’t just watch the film tonight so all the details aren’t clear. I’ve seen it twice. Last time months ago.

R9 In the speech at the end of the film, it's heavily implied his father had a similar experience and understands what he's going through. I don't understand your difficulty with this. He loves his son and cares for him. How is that unrealistic?

R11 I don’t think it’s unrealistic. I was just generally inquiring about the predisposition of the parents. Perhaps this was a stupid thread to make. I’m sorry. I can’t sleep.

As someone from an upper middle class Jewish intellectual family background. It was fairly realistic.

It's realistic from the point of view of it coming from a liberal, Jewish, European, intellectual, academic, arty farty, hippy dippy perspective. Though not every hippy dippy parent will necessarily react the same.

If you've seen the film twice OP then you must have noticed the eldergay couple that the parents are friends with. That alone should answer your question. Maybe a third viewing is required. I got it and have only watched it once.

wow r14 did you know my parents? That that describes him perfectly although not to have young intellectual (neithet to graduated from university), and my dad I'll Jewish heritage but not practicing neither reform or orthodox. And my mom only her stepfather was Jewish.

I came out to my mom the same night I graduated high school in 1978, Anaheim California. At the end she said you have to tell your dad (they had already been divorced for about four years).

But for whatever reason she did tell him before I could. We got together for dinner and he said "Do you know who else was gay? Michaelanglo, Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward (etc). Those were all good people. You're gonna be fine."

So yes i did see certain aspects of my dad and the CMBYN dad. And I think it would be good for me to be reminded of that little exchange from time to time more often. It was very therapeutic for me in this moment. Always have felt very fortunate/grateful for how he handled it.

I’m the Op. So I wasn’t questioning their acceptance of their son’s homosexuality but moreso the complete embrace and encouragement of the relationship especially with the age gap in 1983. Btw I felt it to be portrayed authentically. I just wanted to know from those of you who are cultured and were alive during that time if it rang true.

R16 What a happy story. Thank you for sharing it.

It very much rings true, R17, IF one came from a family as the one portrayed in the film.

Millions of young men out there still cannot come out to their family, however.

Compelling thread... I just watched the monologue scene again on youtube. As a person who has gotten older myself, having briefly known the joy of a deep and passionate youthful romance but having been unable to understand or accept it at the time, I supposes if I witnessed someone I care about going through the same thing, but who still has the opportunity to understand/accept/enjoy such a thing, I might be compelled to encourage it. The dad is right... you can never duplicate that sort of thing later in life...

The end of the movie where Elio cries and sobs while the fireplace crackles during that cold looking winter late afternoon devastated me.

If I was Elio with my parents

(While in the midst of having an argument over my overspending)

Father: Hold down the spending! Last month’s credit card bill indicates you’ve got some major explaining to do.

Son: Oh fuck! Leave me alone! I don’t have time for this shit!

Father: You cocksucker!

Son: So that’s what you think about me? You think I’m out sucking cocks instead of being at the mall shopping? Oh God! I’m so tired of being emotionally abused!

No, OP.

The characters as portrayed in the shit movie of the shit book were too disparate in age. It all was a distortion because the director got off on it.

Period.

I think part of the question about whether Elio's parents were more than "approving" of his attraction to Oliver, to the point of facilitating a "good bye, let's fuck" hiking trip for them.... is related to a central and provocative problem with the film: in the novel Oliver was more of a peer with Elio. In the film Hammer seemed so much older.

Progressive parents, academic, bohemian, sophisticated, smart and compassionate: my son has a boyfriend, oh, may he be happy and not get hurt. But go away with an "older guy"... more problematic.

R21 That scene is still one of most powerful I've seen on film. In large part because of the acting. Since that film there's nothing I've seen where he is as impressive, in fact I find him odd and unpleasant in most of his roles. But that doesn't change my memory of first seeing the fireplace scene.,.,. I am not "Mary!" emotional by constitution, but I cried, completely empathetic to the kid's pain and confusion and grief.

It was true for me too, but only my Dad (also an upper middle class jewish intellectual doctor). He asked me if I was gay and was very cool considering it was the early '70s. My mother, otoh, a conservative Christian (they divorced) had a real problem with it and only accepted it when she married a man who also had a gay son and had to.

I think it was plausible, but unlikely. Even among progressives in the early 1980s, there was still a stigma and it is unlikely that parents would promote a relationship with an older man who was professionally entangled with the family. Bit of a fantasy.

Btw I am Teacake. Just though I’d let you know in case you find out and then decide that you must now hate this thread.

R27 Don't worry, honey. I already expressed my hatred x

In the 90's a rich, Jewish, woman I worked with asked me how to tell if any of her 3 young boys were gay. She went on to explain that she hoped at least one of them was gay so that she would have someone to shop with.

No one would have cared about an age gap of 7 years in 1983. Elio is supposed to be 17 and Oliver is supposed to be 24.

People didn't start having conniptions about that until just recently.

The movie fucks it up a bit because they cast Armie who looked 30something (though he wasnt). The actors were 9 years apart in age but since Timotay looked like a 17 year old and Armie looked 32, idiots came out of the woodwork to shriek it was a grooming movie. Which makes no sense...you groom someone in 3 weeks. Anyways, those people are fucking stupid. 9 out of 10 horny sexually questioning gay 17 year olds living in their parent's gorgeous Italian villa would have been on a hot 24 year old's cock faster than you could say "pass the lube".

[quote] People didn't start having conniptions about that until just recently.

Bullshit.

Fat straight women gets hysterics at the thought of any 17 year old man having sexual thought and, GOD FORBID, acting on them

R32 I know. It is so annoying. But if the same 17 yr old commits a vicious crime they are likely tried as an adult. I hate how America is about.

Yes—thinking about age in different contexts is just makes my brain hurt. Let’s dumb it down. If you’re old enough to do anything adults do, you’re an adult for all purposes. So much easier to grasp.

So many good posts are lined out by idiots with nothing else better to do but keeping FFing stuff on their multiple accounts. Just don't go to the fucking thread. There is nothing racially offensive or bigoted about this post. But they're so fucking stupid and hate freedom of expression.

The trans troll is behind the greyed out posts with his MANY sock puppets