Your Favorite Lines from Films

Taffy’s vivid pronouncement in Female Trouble.

“I saw something nasty in the woodshed.”

Also from OP's film....

"What I feel like is Gloria FUCKING Swanson! What am I, 70, David?"

"FAT, DRUNK AND STUPID IS NO WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE" Animal House

I used that once on child#1 at Uni. of Pennsylvania when he was being "drunk and stupid" his 2nd year at Penn. Then I hit him!!

"Something Big, Something Stupid" Fire Island

I’m sure you underestimate yourself, Eve. You always DO.

You know, speaking of Cathy Moriarty, she almost got the role of Carmella in THE SOPRANOS. I wonder if contract negotiations broke down, or they liked Edie Falco better at the last minute.

R6 - Cathy is a hoot in Soap Dish and great in Raging Bull, but she's staying in her extremely narrow lane.

Edie is simply a much better actress.

"I should've known, you'd know where to find the boys AND the booze!"

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

I CAN SMELL YOUR NAPPY PUSSY!

Thread closed.

Lawrence of my labia….

She's a girl of so many interests....a girl of so many rare qualities.

All my friends have big buts.

The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life!

Now a warning?

Don't fuck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

That's all.

When I'm high, I AM Odetta!

Well I say we hire a couple of wranglers to go upstairs and beat the shit out of him

“I’m no fool! I’ve killed the boss! You think they’re not going to fire me for a thing like that?”

“You done me a favor, shithead! You saved me four fuckin’ years in this ass-lickin’ school!”

Fame.

Final line from Dinner at Eight. It’s all in the setup.

Six pins, Dolores! Six pins

I've seen this some many times but it always makes me laugh.

"Do I understand this correctly? I'm being MARKED DOWN?!"

But ya are, Blanche - you are in that chair!

AAGGHH! I look like fuckin' Stevie Nicks in hippie clothes!

To R22, my top 10 favorite movie of all time, Jean Harlow and Marie Dressler, the entire movie was genius, even John Barrymore.

Wallace Beery, Lionel Barrymore, Billie Burke and Jean Harlow maid are great.

For I am not Emily Kimberly, daughter of Duane and Alma Kimberly. No I'm not! I'm EDWARD Kimberly...!

This is a real badge, I'm a real cop and this is a real fucking gun.

You Sho Is Ugly!

You're certainly a flop in some departments.

Everything about you says 'look what you've done to me'

Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle!

"YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT"

Why must EVERYTHING be a CONTEST?!

"Big fucking erect penis, mom!"

Tom Cruise should have won an Oscar for Born On The Fourth Of July.

Gentlemen you can't fight in here, this is the War Room!

You should not speak with an accent when you know I am so hungry!

NOW a warning?

Snakes have a mortal fear of..tile

Give me a fountain pen. And not one of those lousy ballpoints.

“It’s beyond my control.”

We got 42 responses and no one posted this? Turn in your AARP Gay Cards.

It's alive!

You're terrible Muriel.

I'm too young to be a widow!

Public relations... well it sounds pretty dirty to me!

R43 I thought that one was a bit cliche....but so many other good ones from the film.

"I've always denied the legend that you were in "Our American Cousin" the night Lincoln was shot...."

"It is a known fact, that a woman do carry an evening bag at dinnertime. A lady is NEVER sure at night."

"What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end."

"I'll admit I may have seen better days, but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salted peanut."

"I detest cheap sentiment."

And one of my favorite exchanges, when Margo first starts to get an inkling about Eve:

Margo : Thank you, Eve. I'd like a martini, very dry.

Bill Sampson : I'll get it.

[to Eve]

Bill Sampson : What'll you have?

Margo : A milkshake?

Eve : A martini, very dry, please.

I Aint no slut!

Hi Mary!

“Thanks for the tip. But if what I’m wearing doesn’t please Steven…I take it off.”

All-time favorite.

What do you think I asked you to come here for? Company?!

“Does Jeff know?”

"Home is where you come when you run out of places."

Not threatening enough? How's this, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?

Dorothy Michaels in Tootsie

You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I'd really like to make love to you.

Tootsie again

Foreground my ass!

Well, don't look at me, Dolores. All of my money is tied up in cash"

I am big, it's the pictures that got small!

I'm not A Eunice Burns, I am THE Eunice Burns!

Darius : Who's Martha Stewart?

Sterling : She writes picture books about gracious living. Martha says that nothing else matters if you can do a nice dried floral arrangement. I worship her.

Darius : And, um, who's Ann Miller?

Sterling : LEAVE THIS HOUSE!

Molly, you u danger girl. . . Ghost.

NEXT!

-BARBARA JEAN HAD ANOTHER COLLAPSE!

Boobies, boobies, boobies.

You know how bitchy fags can be

There's only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that's me baby..

That old witch ought to be boiled in oil!

"I done quit the business."

"If you thought that n***** why didn't you just give me some money."

"I thought it was my mother's douchebag, but that's in Ohio."

Down the hall and to the left.

I'm a widow from the Southside !!

"I do not have to listen to such filth when I am paying good money for your services, Roger!

Roger: Then why don't you crawl back over to the Winters Hair Port and let poor old pitiful Lila Walker, the oldest living beautician in the entire state of Texas, fry up your hair, then turn it back to Easter Egg pink, like it was when you dragged your bacon-eating, Baptist ass in here begging me to fix the fucking mess!

Why Martha, your Sunday chapel dress

I see you do not believe in lipstick.

Here’s two that I have managed to use to my own personal amusement:

1) Living Out Loud. The scene where Holly Hunter is being stood up. She’s had a few martinis and the empties are sitting in front of her on the table. A waitress comes with another drink and goes to collect the empty glasses and Holly says “Oh no, don’t. It’s the only way I keep count.”

2) The Devil Wears Prada, Miranda says “By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.”

one of my favorites

You know, [that hat] does something for your face. It gives you a chin.

So many from Goodfellas! Tommy had the best ones, about his mom’s painting “One dog looks this way the other dog that way. And this guy's saying, "Whaddya want from me?"

Maria, what is it you cuntface?

These people are *dead*, Burke! Don't you have any idea what you have done here? Well, I'm gonna make sure they nail you right to the wall for this! You're not gonna sleaze your way out of this one! Right to the wall!

Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes: "Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."

Nana: You must be good and tired.

Jackie: No…Just tired.

Love, in a world where carpenters can become resurrected, anything is possible.

"I have a head for business, and a Bod for sin"

Elizabeth Taylor’s character about Julie Harris’s mentally troubled character:

“She cut off her nipples with a pair of gardening shears. You call that normal?!”

[quote] You know, speaking of Cathy Moriarty, she almost got the role of Carmella in THE SOPRANOS. I wonder if contract negotiations broke down, or they liked Edie Falco better at the last minute.

I think Cathy Moriarty would've been good in the role. But it would've been a different Carmela and a different dynamic between her and Gandolfini.

IMO, I can't picture a better Carmela than Falco, due to the chemistry she had with Gandolfini. They seemed like a real married couple who met in high school and never went to college, etc.

"You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste."

"What's WRONG with Muriel Puce?"

"Glen is not a homosexual. Glen is a transvestite, but he is not a homosexual."

"Is this the COCKSUCKER residence?"

"If I save one kid from getting butt-fucked, from having his ass totally reamed until it looks like the Lincoln Tunnel and he can't stand up for three weeks, then maybe all of this is worth... something. Teachers everywhere have to learn that no means no... at least until we've dropped out."

Our new one-piece lace foundation garment. Zips up the back and no bone.

"Who is Pearl Harbor?" from Woody Allen's "Radio Days" - a marvelous little movie.

Mia Farrow is terrific in it and gets to say, "Who is Pearl Harbor?"

"All gay men have track lighting. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve."

"If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

"Drink your juice, Shelby."

"I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!"

"Are you high Clarice?"

"I love ya more than my luggage"

"He don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt."

“Buck never would’ve been in the hospital”.

“Well, nobody’s perfect”.

My mother. A waitress.

- Veda Pierce.

Exactly how many sweaters do you own?

Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?

"Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings? We are only seeing singing Hitlers."

Marlene Dietrich to Orson Welles in A Touch of Evil:

“I didn’t recognize you…you should lay off the candy bars …you’re a mess, honey.”

Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?

You haven't been around lately. I thought maybe you were an amnesia victim or something.

- Gilda.

Tell him, Ray.

Walmart sucks.

"Well, as long as the lady is paying, why not take the vicuna?"

Sunset Boulevard

"Miss Casswell is an actress, a graduate of the Copacabana School of Dramatic Art"

Addison DeWitt (George Sanders) introducing Marilyn Monroe in [italic]All About Eve[/italic]

"Boy, any more people in here, we’re gonna need a lubricant, huh?"

Rob Reiner as Joe Pierce, Postcards from the Edge.

"I like Mexico. It's so....Mexican."

Ida Corwin (Eve Arden), JC's sidekick in Mildred Pierce

Has to be seen to be appreciated:

Nuts. Nuts, am I? Let me tell you something, my two fine bedfellows. You’re so dumb there’s nothing to compare you with. You’re dumber than the dumbest jackass. You’re so dumb you don’t even see the riches you’re standing on with your own feet.

(Walter Huston in Treasure of the Sierra Madre.)

R110, an entire thread could be built around the movie All About Eve.. so many great lines by each character.

I've always loved, "You're too short for that gesture." Again, Addison Dewitt, so sanguine in its delivery... and he puts Eve in her place in New Haven.

"He's no good, but he's what I want. I'm not a nice person, Laura. Neither is he. He knows I know he's just what he is. He also knows that I don't care."

Dame Judith Anderson, "Laura"

"Wait for the shake!"

Harvey Korman as Count de Monet in History of the World, Part 1.

I never wanted to use macramé to kill!

Must be Folger's.

Classic.

I thought I was here for a makeover.

Yes I can be very cruel. I have been taught by masters.

You know what I want babe? Cool guys like you out of my life.

Speaking of Dinner At Eight, there are so many great lines, but in one of my favorite scenes, there are plenty to choose from:

I was not brought up to leave my husband.

Cabby: Nice looking suit you're wearing.

Bogart: Thanks, and I don't feel chatty.

Cabby: Some fares like to talk.

Bogie: Well I don't.

Cabby: You always that way?

Bogie: Yep. That's why I don't have many friends.

What do you think I was, anyway? A guy that walks into a good-looking dame's front parlor and says: "Good afternoon. I sell accident insurance on husbands. Have you got one that's been around too long?"

Walter Neff, Double Indemnity

Tell me about it, stud.