Small Talk

Take this up with your therapist not the DL

[Quote] Ive really lost my ability to engage in small talk since covid.

Really? We would have never guessed.

The DL isn’t your personal problem journal!

Your bigger problem involves your lack of punctuation. I'd work on that first.

I don't want to...

R4 "Mr Oxley told me to work on my punctuation, so I'm careful to get here by nine!"

Your cock is tiny

Just pick a topic from datalounge and start talking. For example, after you've made out for a while you can say "What are you're views on wood flooring versus carpet?"

And, yet, OP felt compelled to come to the epicenter of small talk - Data Lounge - and share.

You're an introvert, OP.

I can do small talk, but it feels awkward, stilted and, except for some basic pleasantries, not worth the effort. Most people aren't that interesting, engaging or funny; or, they are so guarded, it takes forever to get anything of substance. I also don't feel the need for validation from or connection with people, especially strangers. Just accept that you're not into it, OP, and don't try.

Something I’ve learned that nobody will ever tell you is that the majority of people you’ll encounter are actually kinda boring and literally looking for something new to at the very least, “know about.”

So if there’s a particular interest that you have that you’re autist encyclopedic about, you go on about that, and that person will generally fill in the gaps to be like “oh shit, they know what they’re talking about.” They’ll feel engaged.

Whatever you say will inevitably lead them into an anecdote of their own, and it continues from thereon.

Also, reading random shit about many topics in varying quantities will broadly increase your knowledge about a little bit of everything. It’s Asperger’s behavior but it works.

R11 Technically, though, that isn't small talk. Or maybe I'm wrong.

So you’re saying COVID made you autistic

Maybe the Covid vaccine made you autistic.

Fuck the therapists they cost money. You will be fine. But if you lose your ability to post your personal and mental health and kissing problems on DL then I would be really worried,.

[quote] So you’re saying COVID made you autistic

Do you find yourself flailing your arms about, OP? Are you starting to resemble a doll or mannequin?

If you really have nothing to say, then don't worry. But if you do have things you'd like to say but skip over them in your head because you're being self-conscious, then that's an issue and you should be mindful of that.

R12, I think the term Small Talk is rather subjective. Yes, it is typically used for meaning 'elevator talk', like, it's all over in ten seconds.

But I see it this way - if I'm at a party, or forced to socialize with strangers for more than a few seconds, it is still Small Talk to me. I'm not promising to be their best friends, and neither are they. When I realized that, I felt freer to just bring up a random topic I found interesting, and it works more than half of the time. People do appreciate having a few words with strangers, without the pressure of collecting phone numbers and promises of hanging out.

I'm also lucky that I have a few really great friends I can talk for hours with, either in person or over the phone. So, I'm not lonely and desparate to make party Small Talk anything more than it really is.

I would advise the OP to think about that - there is no pressure to be the hit of the party at all. There is only humor and humility required. If you're not at all interested in the human race enough to comment on something around you, like how cute that cat is, how much you legitimately like that suit they are wearing, how happy you are to get over that cold this winter, how much you loved that new sushi restaurant that opened up, or how is it they know the host of the party....then that's really on you to work on that.

I used to find that when I was young and cute I could say total drivel and people several people would be hanging on my every word at a party. So Inever learned to be a good conversationalist, and now it's too late because I'm old and bald.

You should write a small talk subroutine, like Data in Star Trek did.