Jeff Bezos to be Married this Week in $600M Wedding

Or not

Scaffolding to hold up those flotation devices and non-joker face/wonky eye filters everywhere for a start.

Buy each guest a house?

I assumed it was $600,000 not $600 million.

A really, really good wedding cake? Maybe a carrot cake made from Carrot Top?

Bezos and Sanchez' plastic surgery and makeup bill could account for at least half of the $600M.

BTW, OP. where on Hello Magazine's website did you see this story?

It comes with years 2 and 3 of Trump's presidency. Musk only paid 250 million. The last year of the 4 year term is for sale starting at 1 billion. It comes with control over pardons.

All that money and he goes for this tranny looking push-up bra streetwalker.

Lauren wore this to a White House state dinner. THE WHITE HOUSE! And a state dinner for JAPAN.

The audacity - not just red lace, not just see-through stomach panels, not just an underwear-corset looking top, but you got to have those TITTAYS out for the world to see - particularly at the White House!

I'll never understand straight men's taste. Might I add she's 54!

If true he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. The numbers of homeless kids. Unvaccvinated, ill etc...fucking obscene.

Well, since he's come out and said it's a false story and that the story went around the world before the truth could get its pants on. It's cool though that he's with someone around his age instead of a 19-year-old. When you think of it he could have just about anyone.

R10 - yes - so very admirable to flaunt his plastic-surgery hooker girlfriend who he was cheating on his wife with. At least she's 54 - so that makes it OK.

He has a fondness for third-world plastic looking things.

Somewhere, Mackenzie Scott is laughing her ass off.

R12 As she scatters $1000 bills to worthy charities.

While Bezos spends his money on a hooker who’s well past her sell-by date.

Hope he has a prenup this time

Perhaps Sanchez isn't a human. There is a reason Bozo went to outer space after all!

Just the one son, Preston, who ultimately be the richest nepobabe in the world.

And don't forget that one time that Anna Wintour made Lauren dress appropriately for the Met Gala.

R17 - she looks pissed that she can't have her hoo-has out.

Notice how she's smiling in every pap picture? This is a fame-obsessed washed up whore. She fucking LOVES the attention - I know she used to be a TV reporter, but she's gagging over this.

Meanwhile, Mackenzie Scott is living her best life and doing good in the world.

Imagine being Jeff and having this streetwalker steal the limelight every time - purposefully. She's always mugging for the camera, wearing ridiculous too-tight outfits and giving this squinty-eyed look like she's some big model or something.

She gives Latinas a bad name. It's amazing how the rest of the world can see who this woman is and he's just completely oblivious. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

He makes that much profit in interest in a couple of hours. These guys don’t live in the world of the common rabble.

These f'n people have too much money.

He's paying for it with all the withheld pay from his non-Union workers, the ones he thanked for getting him to space while they were not allowed to leave their Amazon stations to go pee.

"Lauren has said she's been thinking about her wedding dress."

Something regal - like what Diana or Catherine would wear - like this...

She's going to milk him for every designer bag and jewel she can get - will wait 2-3 years - then divorce his ass and threaten to go public with some inside shit about him so she can get more than the pittance she'll be contractually obligated to get in the pre-nup.

Just watch.

This popped up on my X feed this morning. I wonder if they're really going to get married. Probably still working on the prenup.

It explains why he's up magas ass, sweet sweet tax breaks pay for the wedding and the removal of a landmark that obstructs your mega yachts

I love this tacky bitch

What's amazing - she cheated on her husband with Bezos - and her last husband is the Executive Chairman of Endeavor (formerly William Morris) - a massive talent agency for sports, celebrities.

Whoopi, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Hugh Jackman, Denzel Washington - all are under her ex-husband - and there are hundreds more.

So she was already with an extremely wealthy and influential guy - and her ex is handsome - and she does him dirty to hook up with 5'7" nerd Bezos.

I sincerely think she was pissed about not having the spotlight and being out shone by all the celebrities her husband interacted with.

Here's the shady bitch with her husband and Jeff Bezos.

As ugly as he is, he still can have anybody he wants yet he settles for a blow up doll that’s been used, abused, and tossed in the trash. Must be a fetish.

She had her brother leak some texts discussing the affair to nudge along Bezos divorce. Her A Lo Vera moment.

[quote] Can someone please explain to me how you can spend $600 million on a wedding?

There will be a gigantic 50 foot tall crystal fishbowl made exclusively by Swarovski for Lauren to swim in. From a walkway above, all the guests will delight in feeding her enormous flakes of food specially prepared for her by Alain Ducasse.

R28 - you better believe she used all her contacts in the press from working at a station and also from her husband's talent agency to get the affair out there.

How did this cheap looking whore bag TWO powerful men like this? She must have a great personality because I don't get it - she was pretty when she was young, but ugh - she's a walking cliche of bad taste.

It hurts me personally when I see trashy people with money or dumb people with money. The injustice of it all just burns.

I don't think he's in any rush to marry that squinty-eyed whore, not after his ex took him for billions. I'm sure that manly tramp will have to sign the mother of all prenups.

Just as I'm sure he's screwing a bunch of nubile college girls behind her muscular back.

She leaked this to try and move things along. He’s not going to marry her. His lawyers are working out settlement and NDA terms

That is an obscene waste of money.

Lauren Sanchez should host a Learning Annex course on gold digging.

She has hopped from man to man and each one is worth a lot more than the previous mark.

Agree that she's not liking the type of prenup that he wants.

She reminds me of Kim Guilfoyle.

He's just a low class warehouse worker who made good.

Apparently there was a pre-nup in her last marriage - she got millions, but she didn't get a hold of a lot of her ex-husband's $400 million.

She looks like a slightly cleaned up version of the Mafia wives from VH1.

I don't think he's in any hurry to marry her after his recent divorce - it's just to placate her.

I hope she gets rightfully dumped like her doppelganger Kimberly Guilfoyle.

[quote] Can someone please explain to me how you can spend $600 million on a wedding?

They've spent almost that much to rebuild Jeffy and his Frankenbride.

I have 1 word...vulgar.

I think they're in some kind of a BDSM relationship.

He looks like Mike Meyers' Dr. Evil and she looks like The Joker.

I shat all over her in this thread - I really did my dirtiest - but I just saw this clip and she comes off pretty good. Likable.

I know it's one press clip and rehearsed but still. Of course a lot of sociopaths are charming.

I first realized she was a nasty bitch when she popped up on Good Day LA. The two old hookers who were hosting the show-Dorothy Lucey and Jillian Barberie- hated her, as she slithered her way onto the set and Eve Harrington’ed them. She was so obvious about what she was doing.

Maybe Bezos likes what an obvious trash box she is. She’s not even classy enough to be a Real Housewife; she’s TLC material.

How many apartment buildings could be constructed for homeless families with that money? Pigs. Luigi didn’t finish his work.

And he’s eloping! Imagine how much he’d be spending if it were a formal wedding!

She's trash but I admire her game. She's kept him a lot longer than I would have thought. And she dresses exactly how she wants. She must know the world thinks she looks like a hooker but why would she care?

I don't think she dressed like that before she was with Bezos. She's a shapeshifter, like Guilfoyle.

I’m glad he isn’t with someone boring. It says a lot about him that he chose her. This camp event chick should be a DL icon

[quote] This camp event chick should be a DL icon

YES!

[quote]I first realized she was a nasty bitch when she popped up on Good Day LA. The two old hookers who were hosting the show-Dorothy Lucey and Jillian Barberie- hated her, as she slithered her way onto the set and Eve Harrington’ed them.

Two "old hookers" hosted the show, but *she's* the nasty bitch?

The bride absolutely needs a permanent personal stylist, she looked sensational at the Met Gala and no where else.

The bride reminds me of Kimberly Guilfoyle in reverse trajectory.

Kim G also needs a personal stylist but I imagine money is tight for Kim and this service is not an option for her atm.

Money can’t buy taste or class.

If you watched Good Day LA you’d understand r50

Oh wow, r26. She really traded down with Bezos. Of course, he has other....assets.

Bitches, THIS is how you do a $600M wedding: it's a FIVE-MONTH marathon. Bezos isn't even in the same universe.

---------------------

The warm-up began back in March with a pre-wedding party that outdid most celebrity weddings. Rihanna was paid a reported $6m to perform her first concert in almost eight years and the 1,200 guests, which included Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, Ivanka Trump and Mark Zuckerberg, were treated to a light show featuring 5,500 drones and a jungle-themed party that came with a nine-page dress code.

Then there was the 800-guest wedding party cruise around the Mediterranean in May, costing $150m, with performances from Andrea Bocelli, Katy Perry, the Backstreet Boys and Pitbull. The onboard festivities were so raucous that locals in the Italian city of Genoa called the police over the noise, with similar outrage provoked in the fishing village of Portofino.

At the sangeet last week – a traditional pre-wedding night of dancing and music – Justin Bieber was flown into Mumbai to perform, at a reported cost of $10m.

(more at link)

The only thing I can think of why he's with her is that, being an LA anchor AND married to an uber-agent, she has a lot of show business and entertainment connections and knows who is who and who to avoid.

I think he wants to be part of the 'star' world - honestly. And she's a good person to have.

On the other side, she gets to be the star of the show and not 2 steps behind her more influential husband and just the 'the wife'. I can't imagine many of these huge stars being impressed by her gig on Extra or Good Morning LA.

That's the only way I can make sense of this relationship. Oh - and she probably gets other women for him to fuck as well.

More pussy for him and less often she has to fuck this Temu Dr. Evil. He really does look like Mike Meyers as Dr. Evil n Austin Powers.

Lauren would elope if that would seal the deal. At this point, Bezos is the hold-out.

She already had a multi-million dollar engagement party.

She's probably embarrassed now to have this extra-long "engagement." Bezos is balking.

After watching the video at R42 I like her too. She doesn't come off badly at all. For some reason I thought she'd have an accent and sound shallow. But she's sexy AF with a body that would make a 20-year-old jealous -- amazing she's 54 -- and obviously smart and well-spoken but I'm sure it's the body part that reeled Bezos in.

He was a creep in his first marriage well before Lauren entered the scene. A couple of years ago, The Atlantic published this short story which was *obviously* based on the knowledge what transpired in that marriage when MacKenzie was pregnant.

There’s only so much money can buy and then you get bored

R56 here - I just had another thought. I think I'm right about the entertainment angle and getting in with the stars BUT...

It occurred to me they seemed like a certain type of straight couple and I couldn't put my finger on it. SWINGERS. They totally look like that middle aged swinger couple.

Those women are always showing off their tits - and he's become this worked out guy wearing tight shirts and jeans, unlike most men his age. They dress very sexually.

She allows him to be a freak off the leash and procures women for him. Plus she introduced him to Hollywood A-listers and stars.

I think I've solved the puzzle - at least in my head.

I’m fine with them spending $600M, if that’s even true.

The money goes to buy stuff, which helps the economy

I agree, r61. They are into freaky heterosex. They both look relaxed and happy all the time. They are both getting sexed!

Lol, Temu Dr. Evil R56! 🤣!

[quote] Rihanna was paid a reported $6m to perform her first concert in almost eight years and the 1,200 guests, which included Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, Ivanka Trump and Mark Zuckerberg, were treated to a light show featuring 5,500 drones and a jungle-themed party that came with a nine-page dress code.

R55 Now I want to know what the Clintons were wearing.

OP- More important than that- Can someone explain to me how he can find that fuckin tranny sexually appealing.

I hope she suffers a Brandi Glanville and gets a “parasite”.

Straight men get it R66.

R11- You're such a bitch!

Please, sit next to me.

Oops. I feel bad going so hard on them. My bad.

That would be funny if they were going to but capitulated due to all the negative comments.

But still it's not the wedding itself. The wedding is just a symbol of the frivolity and waste that these people have. That our system empowers this. It doesn't matter if you add it up in the size of homes or yachts, it's shady.

People should stop letting the top take so much. Stop buying the bull that they can't afford it when they clearly can. The government should fine Amazon with a penalty for every Full-Time employee who has to apply for SNAP or government assistance.

He’s acting like the nerd in high school who suddenly got popular.

R72 - he IS the 5'7" Dr. Evil who wants to be with the cool kids and is buying his way in.

I don't think he's not intelligent - he is smart but he's just lucky with timing and the business. Just like Zuckerberg.

Only thing is - he knows he's only there because of his money and that the cool kids don't really like him.

I think r61 hit the nail squarely on its head. They're an inexexpicably sleazy and oversexed for a "normally extravagant" middle-aged couple just posing at a White House State Dinner.

They're not cluelessly unaware of standards. They just don't give a shit and are probably looking for equally famous "like-minded others" who'd engage with them for PNP and NDAs.

Just flaunting their money-legitimatized sleaze with Lauren as the Ghislaine Maxwell figure procurer extraordinaire for Jeff's newly-discovered, middle-aged fixations he can finally afford?

She's got a telephone book and Jeff's got cash to splash. Many of her contacts areclikely older, yet famous enough actresses to satisfy geek Jeff's needs

Some with few legit aged Hollywood actresses might squeal for cock-eyed Jeff attempting to poke his dick attempts and inevitable cock-eyed misses on presented vaginas.

R74 - I'm R61 - I think I'm right. They both dress in such tight clothes it looks like they're going to head off to a P Diddy freak-off after the event.

Think about all the money he has - he makes around $190 million PER DAY. ONE fucking day!

Imagine all of the pet projects A or B or C list actors or actresses or directors would love to make but they can't get the funding. He could fund a $20 million project so easily.

And he gets some grade A famous puss or dick (I'm not counting this out - I wouldn't be surprised if he would want some famous man's dick).

Lauren knows all of them through her ex. She can dangle those checks above these stars' heads and say JUMP - or what are you willing to do for this?

God knows some people in Hollywood have had to do worse things than fuck Temu Dr. Evil to get their projects funded.

No matter billions made. -- usually from good ideas -- these guys never get over their childhood hurts.

R76 - exactly - particularly a 5'7" nerd from Florida.

Lauren sets up these sex dates and he gets to skip around his bed like a schoolboy at night "I just had sex with X!" - meanwhile Lauren's like, "Yes Jeffy, I KNOW! You sure DID! And I think X really enjoyed it! Oh the adventures you'll have little Jeffy! Just stick with me, I can make all of your dreams possible!"

Now get into your PJs, it's time for bed. No, you can't have cookies before your bedtime, you know how that sugar will keep you up. Ok, you can watch ONE more cartoon before bed - but that's it, mkay?

Nighty night Jeffy - as Lauren walks out of the room with a smirk on her face. This shit's too easy, she thinks as she pours a glass of wine and stares out on the lights of Los Angeles.

His fiancée is such a vile skank. Surely he can afford better…why has he embarrassed himself over someone so trashy???

R78 - I like to think I solved the puzzle with my answers at R61 and R75.

That's the only thing that makes sense to me. It actually makes a LOT of sense.

I don't think boarding school and Princeton-educated MacKenzie would put up with much of the Hollywood bullshit or just turn her head away while Jeff fucks everything left and right.

Divorce was best for the both of them. Lauren gets to be A-list and a Hollywood connector, arguably as influential as her ex-husband, while she arranges hook-ups and deals for Jeff to feel like a Hollywood Insider and a stud.

Or to paraphrase what they said about Fred and Ginger, “She gets him sex and he gives her all the class money can buy”

The $600 million is for her latest cosmetic work.

I suspect he picks out her outfits. The outfits are far too much like a cartoon version of "sexy".

Lauren just had a birthday on 12/19. She is 55.

[quote] I love this tacky bitch

Me too. She was always so lovely and charming on-air.

R82 - LOL - no way - SHE is picking out HIS outfits.

R83 - Body is 55, Face is 6, Boobs is 4, Gold-digging skills - ageless.

Are celebrities paid to attend weddings like the one described at r55?

[quote]Think about all the money he has - he makes around $190 million PER DAY. ONE fucking day!

WTF? If that was true it'd mean he earned $69 BILLION THIS YEAR ALONE. (What I'm guessing you saw was an average for how much the valuation of his Amazon holdings increased over a certain period, though Amazon hasn't had stratospheric growth a la Tesla.)

R87 - here you go. Not that it wouldn't fluctuate, but it's staggering. Obscene really.

Even if he made 1 billion a year, that's $2.7 million a day.

We need more rich people killings, kill them all and make them afraid.

Couldn't he get someone without all that excess mileage?

R90 - that mileage pays off with all of her Hollywood contacts.

Plus the age gap doesn't look ridiculous like he's dating a 25 year old - and also he doesn't have to worry about a younger wife wanting kids. That last part is HUGE.

Plus I think he likes that Lauren is shorter than him. His ex-wife Mackenzie was around the same height and in photos she always seemed much taller and made him look short.

Lauren's 5'3" - even with 4" heels, she's not going to be taller than Jeff who is only 5'7".