Little life hacks you can do to make your life measurably better

Zucchini can be used as dildoes

Thanks R1 - I needed that!

Take off your shoes if you're going to drive more than 20 minutes. You don't need them to drive and you'll be more comfortable.

Take out your penis if you're going to drive more than 20 minutes. You'll be giving your passengers a treat and you'll be more comfortable.

Benoît Carcenat at Le Valrose in Rougemont will cater your Christmas party in Gstaad for half the price of Robert Speth.

Slapping faces viciously and with impunity

I organize my bed linens by folding the top sheet, fitted sheets and one pillow cover together and placing them inside the remaining pillow cover. Everything is all together and I could pull it out in one grab.

R7 is going to change my life.

R7? Tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay.

I organize bed linens and penis by folding the top sheet, fitted sheets and one pillow cover together and then placing my penis inside the remaining pillow cover. Everything is all together and I could pull it out in one grab.

Take one of the small 9volt batteries, and toich the posts very quickly to your tongue. It gives a burst of energy, and is quite helpful for you.

One great one is to stop using the ultra-cringe term “life hacks”

R12 “ultra cringe” is even more moronic. Good lord, you’re an idiot.

as someone who is so unorganised, but willing to learn, i love this thread. The bed linen idea is great. x

I take the utensil basket out of the dishwasher and just upend the contents into the designated drawer. I gradually worked up to this after a move in which my flatware organizer got misplaced. Over time I realized it was completely unnecessary to sort knives, forks, and spoons prior to use.

If you don’t live alone or you sit down to three meals a day at home, this might not work.

I take the utensil basket out of the dishwasher and just put my penis in its place. I gradually worked up to this after a move in which my penis got soiled. Over time I realized it was completely unnecessary to wash my penis prior to use.

If you don’t live alone, this might not work.

Spread Yule Cheer

[Quote] Take one of the small 9volt batteries

What the fuck uses 9 volt batteries nowadays

R18 Are you ok?

I touch a 9volt battery to my penis to spice things up for the holidays

IME, flipping the mattress makes no discernible difference.

Cleaning drains with a baking soda and vinegar mix.

Trump’s America cannot be made better by little hacks.

Never adopt a pit bull.

When we change clocks in the Spring and Fall I rotate the mattress (since I sleep alone and tend to sleep on one side), change all air and water filters, rotate the rug in the living room and flip all the sofa and chair cushions. I know the time changes don't occur exactly 6 months apart but I would forgot to do these things otherwise. I'll be happy when tRump does away with Daylight Savings since it will save me a ton of work!

I learned this one the hard way. Get yourself a wall mounted combo lock box for the exterior of your home. Keep a spare key inside. Great for that unexpected emergency when you need someone to have access to your house or you lose your key. Spend a few bucks now, and if you ever have occasion to need it, you will thank me later.

As my mum did I anal douche with..

Thank you for your perspective, R23. I am of a similar mind.

And rotating or flipping your mattress is in no sense a "hack." It's a practice, task, habit, etc. A hack is something that cuts through unnecessary steps or lets you avoid a problem or shorten a process, like prelubing. Don't make me tell you again.

Slapping faces then for the win

Gift-giving is my love language and I get a lot of pleasure out of finding the perfect presents for loved ones. Here is my best life tip for upping your gifting game if it's not something that comes naturally...

I keep a running list of gift ideas in a note file on my cellphone. When someone I care about makes a comment about something they really need or wish they had, I secretly make note of it. Things they express a lot of nostalgia for or something they've expressed wanting to learn more about are also helpful to make note of. Makes Christmas/birthdays/anniversary gift-giving so much easier and people are always touched you remembered something they mentioned wanting or loving months or years earlier. Also helpful to make note of their favorite colors, clothing sizes, etc. by their name.

When I'm dating someone seriously, I also keep a running list on my phone of lots of their favorite things as they reveal them--meals and comfort foods, colors, collections, songs, smells, movies, writers, artists, sports figures, favorite childhood characters, etc. You may think you have all this information committed to memory, and maybe you do, but having it all listed out in front of you makes thinking up thoughtful gift ideas and/or romantic gestures off the cuff so much easier.

If you're a heavy sweater and want to avoid pit stains during a job interview, date, nice event, etc., slap some ladies panty liners on the inside underarm area of your shirts. Helps cut down on dry cleaning bills too.

When you are boiling vegetables, pasta, etc in water, if you place a wooden spoon across the top of the (lidless) pot, the water will never boil over.

Interesting one, r32. I've never heard of that.

I didn't believe it when I first heard it, but it works!

I have noticed that you sometimes see it on cheffy TV shows. I thought they were just doing it so the spoon would be available and off the counter, but no, this is why.

Pre-lube before going out

FLEET ENEMA

Wiping the inside of fogged car windows with a chalkboard eraser will avoid streak marks.

Use a ricer to squeeze the excess liquid from defrosted frozen spinach.

When you spray a pan with PAM oil, spray it over the open door of your dishwasher. The excess oil mist will be washed away when you run the dishwasher.

^ I should specify "potato ricer".

R7, wouldn't it be simpler to just stop shitting the bed?

Did Heloise DIE?

R41 in a big way

When you spray a pan with PAM oil, spray it over the top of your penis. The excess oil mist will be washed away when you run your penis through the dishwasher.

[quote] And rotating or flipping your mattress is in no sense a "hack." It's a practice, task, habit, etc. A hack is something that cuts through unnecessary steps or lets you avoid a problem or shorten a process, like prelubing. Don't make me tell you again.

Another tip: change out your tampon. Yours sounds FULL.

Hack right THROUGH

My hack is to hack out of my left lung first, because that's the one with the fungus, and THEN to hack through the right one, because that's the one with the spots that don't look good. The blood gets rid of the moldy taste.

Keep them coming! We all need the little tips that make life better/easier/stupider.

R38, we don't use frozen spinach, for fuck's sake.

^What do you use to make your holiday spinach dip?

a hack saw

If you don't have cucumber on hand, zucchini can be used in a pinch as a perfectly serviceable dildo.

If your coffee is too hot and you want to drink it right away, pour it into a second mug. Cools off immediately.

I use a butternut squash.

White vinegar and a squirt of liquid dish soap in spray bottle will get your glass shower doors looking brand new. Let it sit for a while and then sponge clean it. No more water, mineral residue.

I use just enough for one cleaning and empty the bottle spraying on the doors. I don’t like leaving any left to sit I. The bottle.

I keep de-icing windshield washing fluid in a spray bottle to spray my windshield down with before getting in the car on icy mornings. It will very quickly melt down a fairly thick layer of ice and keep it from refreezing over. Works a treat as long as temperatures are above -15 Fahrenheit.

Aspirin before a night of gooning on poppers will keep that headache at bay

Use an empty Kleenex box to store plastic grocery bags (if they are used where you live). Also useful for storing those thin plastic produce bags. I use these bags to clean up after my dogs.

This is all so exhausting!

Pack a binder clip and black file dots (from an office supply store) if you’re sensitive to light in hotel rooms. I fold the curtains over each other and hold them closed with the binder clip to stop light from passing through. The black file dots cover all the irritating glowing LED pinlights on the television monitor and outlets, and sometimes the peep hole if the hall light is bright. Some hotels have more LED lights than a landing strips, and these irritating glowing green and red lights keep me awake.

I second R38's enthusiasm for the potato ricer. In its normal job, it produces flawless mash every time. If you cook them soft enough, it will also mash almost any other non-leafy vegetable.

Thanks for the tip about using it to get excess water out of leafys, though. That'll work for herbs as well!

No, thanks.

I'll keep looking for those little things that make my life [italic]immeasurably[/italic] better.

When you are boiling vegetables, pasta, etc in water, if you place a wooden spoon in your pants against your penis, you will feel a pleasant sensation while you watch the water so it doesn't boil over.

A regular laugh riot at R61!

R58 = Nosferatu

I'm enjoying the penis theme weaving gently through this thread. It's not too much.

I imagine he would do my post as, "I enjoy weaving my penis gently through my threads," or something.

If you are like r62, I'm sorry, but there is no hack to hide your tinymeat.