Let's Be an Episode of Sex and the City

I'm Lex Featherston

Another must-see show I've never seen.

I'm the Manolo Blahniks. I dominate this series.

I'm Kim Cattrall and I outclass the cast

I actually don't.

I'm the obligatory reference to Carrie being "fabulous!" I'm to occur at least once an episode if the writers want to keep their jobs.

I'm the cosmo.

I am proof that my drinker is fun, flirty, and fuckable!

I'm a wealthy, hot banker who's supposedly interested in one of these superannuated sea hags but who would, in real life, date someone much younger and hotter.

I’m Magnolia Bakery.

I'm any and all of the books you've never seen Carrie the writer reading.

I'm the post-it.

I'm Big, and that delusional harridan really doesn't have a clue how much I dislike her.

I'm the leftover Chinese food Carrie casually sniffed for freshness before digging in with a fork as she moseyed around Big and Natasha's kitchen while her hair was drying from the shower she took after committing adultery with Big while Natasha was visiting the Hamptons.

I'm the horse.

I'm the obligatory very gay-looking waiter in starched white shirt at the ladies' brunch. I have no lines, never have had, and never will have. Lines cost more.

And we know that it's a 'ladies' brunch' because the lead actresses always use 'ladies' in any brunch setting, said with chirpy insouciance as recalling those days long ago when it might have been a joke on the older 'ladies' who lunched/brunched -- an age group that long ago entered.

I’m the inevitable and painful dissent into a discussion about Big that Carrie initiates regardless of what any of her friends are going through. Miranda’s parents killed in a horrible wheat threshing accident? Nevermind that, Big didn’t call this weekend!

I'm Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a slightly new person every season

I'm the nudity and increasingly WTF sluttiness foisted upon the Samantha character to humiliate and punish Kim Catrall.

I'm Carrie's puns!

I'm Samantha's pussy. I grab all the cock I can.

I'm an extremely well built photogenic guy with practically no lines who plays Samantha's latest fucktoy. You will never see me again in anything.

I'm Cynthia Nixon pretending to not be a lesbian

Meanwhile... across town...

I'm Carrie Bradshaw running everywhere but still ALWAYS late

Eh r21 not so fast!

I'm Carrie and I want to give the impression that I'm a modern, liberated and sophisticated woman.

But down deep, I'm just a typical 1950s like frau who desperately wants and needs to be with a man and eventually marry him. My entire self-worth depends on my man and how much money and power he has.

I'm Charlotte York, Daddy's Episcopalian Princess from Connecticut

Hi. We are Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. Apparently, we were all hatched because in 6 seasons on TV and 2 full length movies, there's never any mention of parents, siblings, cousins, etc.

Even at Carrie's wedding to Big, Carrie's side of the Church is filled. But with whom? Must have been all the guys Carrie fucked and fucked over.

I'm the Apple Mac product placement.

R25 I loved you as Joe in Station Agent!

We're the parents Bradshaw, Hobbes, Jones, and York. Remember us? No, of course you don't.

Anyway, we couldn't hold a candle to that Bunny McDougall, so it's all just as well, isn't it?

I'm the ridiculous outfits!

I'm the fuckable but uncredited gay guy in the background of the intro. I rock a mesh shirt and tank during midday.

I'm the end of the horse-themed "Ex And The City" episode where Carrie walks past a mare in front of the Plaza Hotel and sees herself in it, proving that SJP is (or at least was at the time) gleefully unaware of all the horse jokes regarding her appearance.

R33: There's a man I want on top of me.

Im Chip Killkenny

R36 Victor Webster

I'm "I love, love LOVE ..!!

I'm Magda, Miranda's slave. I hate that red haired bitch but I need this job.

Magda never came across as that put upon or like she didn't like Miranda. The only issue they had was at the very beginning when Magda tried to wish frau upon Miranda by moving her sex toys and buying her a rolling pin and making a few comments. After that, she was just a normal housekeeper/caregiver and they seemed to get along very well.

I'm Carrie's walk-through closet. I'm small but I house her fabulous clothes. In the first movie, I'm big enough to house the Vivienne Westwood wedding dress in a huge box.

P. S. My cat is named after their favorite drink which, admittedly, I didn't start drinking until the show came on.

I’m the sassy gay rhetoric.

I'm all the expensive bars/clubs/restaurants I wouldn't even be able to get near to if this were real life.

I'm sad sack Skipper.

I'm Big's pattern of engagement and then pulling away.

I'm Carrie's Purple Rain Baquette by Fendi. I was in high demand by Carrie wannabe's.

I'm the insanely rapturous reception the show received, including a NY TIMES piece about how SATC was the restoration comedy of our time. (Yikes.)

I'm Carrie's cigarette breath.

I'm a reference to shoes or fashion.

I'm THAT LINE. In EVERY FUCKING EPISODE.

We're not there.

I'm Carrie's obnoxious head tics - used to SHOW you what's going on inside her head - "I'm pondering," "I'm tasting."

I'm the lack of women of color.

I'm Carrie dropping her plans on the spot and going into crisis mode, after Charlotte admits her new boyfriend wants to give her anal. "I don't want to me the up-the-butt girl!" (Speaking for yourself, hon.) Since of COURSE anal anything requires intensive discussion, Carrie DEMANDS that the cabbie pick up all four of them to discuss, and she SHUTS HIM DOWN COLD when he tells her not to smoke in his cab. "I'm sorry, sir, but we're discussing anal sex!"

This was admittedly one of my favorite episodes, because anal.

I'm Carrie's "Upper East Side" apartment that's very, VERY obviously in the Village, where the streets are considerably narrower and shorter.

^^Cabbie suddenly hits brakes, coming to a halting stop

Charlotte: "What was that?"

The test of the gang, laughing: "A preview."

I'm Carrie's performative shrieking which wasn't that common early on, but then really became established and thereafter increased in later seasons - rain, rats, squirrels - any number of things could set it off.

I'm Samantha's sometimes fun, sometimes annoying come-hither voice, and her usually annoying extra come-hither voice.

I'm those weird breaking-the-fourth-wall "interviews" in the first season that thankfully didn't make it to the second one.

I'm Kristin Davis's furrowed brow!!

I'm Trey MacDougal. I would rather go sailing than go for a roll in the hay.

I'm Trey's limp dick.

I am bored with this thread.

R43 plenty of folks went to those places. They never filmed in some kind of secret Michelin palace. Almost all were easily identified.

I’m the chatter among a quartet of midwestern fraus debating about who is which character. When in reality none of them are even a Cynthia Nixon.

"I'm a Carrie, but Bonnie, you're SO a Charlotte."

I'm the look of surprise/horror on Carrie's face when she happens upon Aidan's Rogaine, indicating that male pattern baldness is, of course, unacceptable.

(spoken in an exaggerated Italian accent) I'm Amalita Amalfi and I know how to work those tiny rich penises.

I'm SEX AND THE CITY IN 2020, Jimmy Fowlie's brilliant series of YouTube videos that encapsulate everything that's dreadful about this misogynist nightmare.

I’m the lesbian arc involving Samantha; I could not have been worse.

I'm the double entendre.

I'm Craig (Could Have Been Chandler Bing) Bierko, now most famous for playing "The Jazz Guy". My character was almost as annoying as Carrie.

[Quote]I'm Carrie's cigarette breath.

I'll be her nicotine stained fingers.

I'm the new Yankee who just had to date Carrie upon meeting her, but even I couldn't help her forget about Big for an evening.

I'm Bed, the hottest nightclub in town.

I'm Wesley, Charlotte's sex-starved brother who bedded Samantha, much to Charlotte's disgust.

I'm Stanford, who went to Japan to live a quiet and monastic existence.

From 30 Rock:

Jenna: "Ooooh, this is just like Sex and the City. I'm SAMANATHA.... (to Phoebe), you're Charlotte...

(to Liz) And you are the lady at home who watches."

I am New York. I am OVAH!

I'm Madame Bovary -- but more like Madame OVARY!

R80 LOL

I’m the endless amount of food the women eat despite the fact they all get skinnier and skinnier each season.

I’m a dirty martini for a dirty bastard.

I’m Samantha’s references to her vagina: “Nobody wants to eat grandma’s pussy” and “I’m Bozo the bush.”

I'm a panic attack, a busted lip, a facial peel gone wrong, a "heart thing," Lasik surgery, a cancerous testicle, a lazy ovary, fertility challenges, a miscarriage, impotence, and past abortions.

More like Sex and the Sickly.

I'm Carrie walking away with the young guy's weed.

I'm Carrie's bird wedding hat.

I'm the obligatory scene:

The girls are at brunch, they discuss something. Fade to Carrie in her apartment smoking and drinking while on her laptop, she is typing:

The screen fades to the monitor typing out the question.

I'm the face Nina pulls when she sees Carrie in the bathroom after her breakup with Aidan.

I'm Steve's cute little ass.

I'm the Post-It.

I'm Steve's dick-wilting voice.

I'm Brady, the rather stupid, rather charmless, unfortunate looking child of Miranda and Steve. My face always looks like a slapped-ass. A stupid slapped ass. I'm some writer's or casting agent's revenge on Cynthia Nixon's character.

I'm the glaze of Miranda's cunt juice on the chin of the Overeaters Anonymous hook up.

The Overeater Over-Ate Her.

I'm the utter ludicrousness of dumping Dr. Robert (Blair Underwood) for Steve.

I'm Big, relieved to have passed away in AJLT. Now I'm in heaven and free of that cunt Carrie.

I'm Ed and while I don't have old man hands, or an old man touch, I do have the ass of an old man.

I'm the hot Aussie shoe salesman whom Carrie hangs with only because Aidan would rather stay at home and order KFC.

I'm Natacha's chipped tooth that doesn't match the others. Thank you, Carrie.

I'm Carrie's Manolos that got lost in Tatum O'Neal's apartment.

I get replaced.

I'm Carrie's unused oven. The only thing that has been inside of me is Vogue.

I'm Alexander Petrovsky's always underlying annoyance with Carrie - which is amusing.

I'm Alexander's daughter Chole's "whatever" reaction to Carrie and internal cringing at the try-hard nature.

I'm the incompatibility of Carrie and Aidan which was clear from the beginning and was well-written throughout the storylines of their relationship up until it was finally over.

I'm taking a nap-a not moving to Napa.

I'm "the Sex and the City ensemble" that Emily Gilmore claims Lorelei wears.

I’m the Carrie Bradshaw shoes that all the Manhattan fraus with good taste just had to have. From Harlem to Columbus Circle , beautiful chicas dated rich fuglies just to get those shoes.

I’m the generation of women ruined by this show

I´m 25 minutes of pseudo intellectual artsy fartsy gibberish coming from SJP about the importance of the character development in season 1000, trying to re-frame a cash-grab into an important piece of art

I’m the ugly New York theater actors passed off as “hunks” in the early seasons

R108 - one of the 'hunks' later was voted People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2011 (@1:55)