Was I sexually abused?

No and you should just move on from that memory.

Lorna?

Would you have felt better if you actually were molested and your parents didn't believe you and did nothing?

How many doctors did you know as an 8 year old that you would have felt comfortable performing your pelvic exam?

If you're having trouble dealing with it, seek help dealing with it.

Quibbling and asking strangers about their opinions is unhelpful for you, even though you seem to be dangling dead baby meat in front of the victim-worshippers, constant ragers, and people who assume you asked for it. All of it.

This is all different from the categorization. Your parents followed appropriate protocols but the issue is how things were done. You would have been freaked out by just about anyone examining you, but a nice lady would have been nice.

Or you're trolling. That seems possible, unless you're 80+, since you cite a a corner store you were sitting in, on a man's lap, and he was kissing you. And your mother walked in. Did you often hang out alone in a store when a "dirty old man" was, and there was no gossip or concern? Why did your mother walk in? Looking for you?

Please clarify, when you say "he kissed my mouth" -- like a little fatherly peck? Or....? That is important to clarify.

I was molested.

He stuck the tip of his tongue in my mouth, R5 I don’t feel that the dirty old man abused me. I feel my parents did, by subjecting me to a pelvic exam, (which feels like sexual abuse,) that was completely unwarranted and forcing me to testify before. Grand Jury Inquisitor who brought me to tears. I haven’t thought about this much, in many years, but for some reason it’s come to the fore the last couple of weeks. Thanks, Dl.

If your case went before a Grand Jury, prosecutors must have found other evidence of potential crimes at the Dirty Old Man Corner Store. They couldn't have proceeded with just what your mother saw and your denials.

It would have sucked either way, OP.

I had a couple of guys come after me fairly aggressively when I was young -- don't all women? -- and I didn't tell my parents precisely because I knew what a big scene they would have made. A few years later, when a driver hit me on my bicycle, my mother damned near had a heart attack and took me to the hospital, even though I told her my terrifically swollen knee wasn't really hurt. And after a copious number of x-rays, the doctor agreed. Parents never listen to their kids -- at least, not to my generation.

I knew not telling them about the two guys who went after me was the right thing to do. In fact, I still haven't told them, 50+ years later.

R4, I am old, and it was a little town. Actually it was a gas station on the corner, wthat sold pop and snacks, and my brothers and I stopped there everyday on our way home from school to buy candy. Maybe there were other accusations, as R8 suggests. Thanks, R8

Oh, look, everyone. Another fun lesbian.

Do people no longer understand the role of parenting and that children don't always know what it best for them?

Describing a medical examination by a licensed medical professional and equating it to sexual abuse is an insult to those who have actually suffered sexual abuse.

You had an hour of an uncomfortable experience. That's all it was.

The pelvic exam does sound traumatic for a young person. Court must’ve been very intimidating as well. I’m assuming your parents are no longer with us? I’m sure they were just doing what they thought best, since you were 8 they had every reason to think you may not have understood how inappropriate the situation was.

Get some help if you feel like you need it. But the best thing to do is deal with it and move on. Forgiveness is rarely easy.

OP, your parents took an abundance of caution. I am in awe how how "on it" they were. Many parents choose to brush a child's molestation under the rug because it is so inconvenient, traumatic and awful to contemplate. Your parents faced this situation directly and with courage. If you are around my age, and I'm 51, then you should know that "fiddling about" with kids was not taken seriously nearly enough back when we were kids. And yet your parents were concerned and engaged. You were so lucky to have parents that gave a shit about you and your innocence.

Unfortunately, the pelvic exam and court caused its own traumas, but if I were you I'd have preferred the court case than to become dirty gas station candy man's groomed victim for the next two years. He would have totally abused you in an ongoing fashion. Horrifying. Your parents made sure that never happened to you. #blessed

Your memories are of an eight year old's point of view. With therapy you can invite the adult version of you to dialog with the eight-year old in you that experienced that stuff, and you can integrate it and also accept it from an adult perspective. And hopefully take the charge out of it and file it away in the "PAST" drawer so it doesn't keep haunting you. The man was disgusting.

R14, I appreciate your advice. 💕

When did this happen?

Your parents immediate reaction (I won't say it was an over-reaction) suggests that it may have been during one of thos periods when child sexual abuse was all over the news.

Also, your mother may have seen a lot more than you recall experiencing. Where were the guy's hands - maybe your mother saw them in a concerning position. Perhaps he had his little friend out while you were sitting on his lap, and you didn't notice, but your mother did. Maybe there were rumors or stories about this guy.

Whatever the case may be, what's clear is that you need help processing this situation because the your post suggests you do not have good coping tools.

How about framing it in a more positive direction?

Your tramatic experience helped alert the authorities to a potential community predator and certainly helped prevent this from happening to other children,

Unclean! Unclean!