Anyone Else Choosing to Avoid Their Families this Christmas?

Christmas alone is a magical thing.

I take myself to The Nutcracker or a live production of A Christmas Carol every Christmas Eve. I head home and pop a few appetizers from Trader Joe’s in the oven. I have a glass of red and watch Meet Me In St. Louis, Christmas in Connecticut, Shop Around The Corner or some such flick. I listen to choral Christmas music in the dark, looking at the lights of my tree.

On Christmas Day, I make a turkey breast (one of those you find at a supermarket that looks like it might feed two), mashed potatoes and a vegetable. I put a little Baileys in my coffee and watch a couple more movies (Zhivago, Gone With The Wind, Lawrence, Around the World in 80 Days or some such epic).

No fuss. No family dysfunction or drama, no disappointment. No frustration, anger, resentment. And I don’t have to see either of my sisters. No flights or drives across states.

It’s extremely peaceful. Particularly if it snows — a long walk in the snow is dreamy.

Good for you, OP. You won’t regret it. Christmas becomes YOUR holiday. You won’t go back.

I love your ritual! I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

You have wisely selected politics over family.

Yeah! They're exhausting.

Aren’t all the best people?

Just tell them flying home this year is more of a hassle and Facetime them for a few minutes.

I'm going to work a game at my local sports arena. They're paying us double to work and feeding us Christmas dinner afterward.

I originally declined working that day, but then thought about it some more and realized I'd probably have more fun doing this than being with my family. PIus, I'll get some extra cash. So that'll be my 2024 Christmas!

I've been avoiding my family (and extended family) on the holidays for many years, now. It's not worth the expense, the travel, the drama, etc. This also sounds petty, but I don't even like the foods that my relatives make, that much. I guess I liked it, as a kid. Now, I guess my tastes have changed.

I don't because American won't circle DFW for a couple of hours waiting for me while I'm there.

R9 Yeah, if I could get the plane to park in the driveway while I run in for a few minutes, I'd go.

I’ve spent Christmas alone but for one year since 2009.

I don’t really know anything else. It has its advantages. I’ve scaled back since those early years when I used to make a big effort to the point now that I don’t really do anything much. It’s all the effort you put into it that makes it so disappointing.

Christmas Eve is the best part anyway. It’s nice to have an enjoyable evening.

Political bubbles really are wild to watch in real life. Look, if you’re this much of a fucking baby that you’re going to ditch your family because they voted a different way than you did, then maybe YOU are the one who needs a psychiatrist. When I was in my 20s and much less mature, I still visited relatives at Christmas even though they voted Republican. Damn, what social media echo chambers have done to us is insane!

My family is MAGA but they're also boring. It's just sitting around and binging questionable nutrition with the tv on. I can do that at home. Instead of going to visit for Christmas, I decided to be in a Christmas show that'll keep me here until Christmas Eve. Problem solved. I'm looking forward to seeing he lights, joining a Krampus parade, etc..

[quote] My family is MAGA but they're also boring.

BUT they're also boring?

Nope. I love my family and we bond over our hatred of Trump and Elon Musk.

OP I'm avoiding your family too. Cunts.

R12 Are you retarded? This disconnect many are going through is caused by much MUCH more than because relatives voted republican. They voted for authoritarianism. Fascists!

When I still had them, I made a point for 25 years or so to visit my family "during the holiday season" and would give a short notice and show up on some off date and spent most of a day with them.

It was easier and more pleasant. My mother wasn't a nervous wreck burning a holiday menu that no one especially liked anyway, and we were relaxed and in a good mood.

If I was living in some distant place or, as often happened, had long travel plans in December, I caught up when I could.

Xmas is a nice couple of days to spend at (my) home, out walking, maybe cooking, watching films, having a fire, maybe seeing friends, maybe away travelling. It's too nice and relaxed and reflective a time to ruin with relatives, particularly if you share history but not a deep well of warm attachment.

Once I discovered the "visit sometime during the holiday season" rather than on the actual holiday, Xmas and the sometime around the holidays visit became a pleasure.

Someone get R17 his bib and bottle. Whaaaaaaaaa!

Someone get R19 a fucking CLUE.

No. I do not have avoidant personality disorder like you op

I just take a long walk and beat the snow with a stick.

R12 - I have friends who usually vote differently than I do, and when we do talk politics - which isn’t often as we have many common interests - the discussion is just that - a discussion.

I have right-wing MAGA family members - (especially my dad) who have always been non-stop political complainers. They just bitch & lecture about politics endlessly and pretty much exclusively. While making it clear that I don’t agree, I just didn’t engage for decades. Then Trump 1 happened.

I informed my father that I was done listing to him rant about politics - when I visited it was not to be a topic of discussion or I would leave. It took me getting up in the middle of one Thanksgiving dinner and putting my coat on for him to finally get the message and shut the fuck up about it around me. Respect is a two way street.

Most of the men in my family have been in the military. There's only one uncle (plus his wife) who may have voted for Trump. That aunt and uncle gave birth to my cousin, a conspiracy theorist and Trump voter. My sister would never vote for Trump, but she was a Bernie advocate and sent out texts & emails to "let us know how to vote."

I'm mentioning the military because I'm guessing that most military people vote Republican.

Overall, my family & extended family voted for Harris. For that, I'm grateful.

I avoid talking about politics with people who I suspect voted for Trump.

I also don't talk about religion.

[quote] I'm guessing that most military people vote Republican.

Not me, honey. But I always tell people that the Army made me a liberal.

Good for you, senior lesbian. My brother was also in the Army and came out liberal.

Why did it make you a liberal, r25?

If you don't like your family, stay way. Simple. We don't need to hear of all. your why's and hurts.

I went through some painfully lonely Christmases all by myself until I learned how to do them. At first, many years ago, I was surprised and disappointed to discover that NOTHING was open that day, so I had to really start from the bottom up.

Now, I have it pretty much perfected. Food I like, movies I like, maybe calling a couple people to tell them that they mean a lot to me. The trick to being happy seems to be avoiding the temptation to construct a model of what I believe a real life should be in my imagination and then comparing mine against it.

If I really bought into the standard holiday that I see in movies and on TV, I’d have to sit with knowing I was going through the very worst fate possible — CHRISTMAS ALONE — and it’s just not as bad as that. It’s 24 hours and it’s at least theoretically religious and I don’t belong to that, or any other, religion.

If it were abolished I wouldn’t shed a tear but I won’t shed any anyway.

I'll simply say that I realized that all the propaganda we are taught about our country growing up is bullshit, which is also something I used to tell my American Government students. This is decidedly [bold]not[/bold] "the best country in the world," and when people say that to me, I ask them, "What other countries have you lived in?"

At 18, I was impressed with (West) Germany and the way they did things. I was blown away by their mass transit system. I was entranced by their 35-hour work week, and their 30 days of vacation every year. Plus, I saw how most American soldiers stationed there gave not one single solitary fuck about the way they treated the Germans -- I once watched an entire convoy of tanks tear up a bunch of Germans' front lawns. The Germans hated us -- and they were supposed to be our [italic]allies[/italic]! It made me wonder how other countries felt about the U.S., and why. Go down that road even a little bit and you'll become a liberal pretty damned quick. And then you'll start to feel the shame that goes with being an informed American -- for me, at least.

Today I watched a movie (trying to improve my Spanish) called Caja 25 about what the U.S. did when building the Panama Canal. Very sad. I also listened to a woman I know bitching and moaning to me about illegal immigrants. Fuck me -- doesn't she understand that if you live here and you're white, YOU'RE an immigrant??

Sorry for the rant. That's what you get for getting me started!

I don't have a family anymore.

No that was interesting, senior lesbian. I was lucky enough to leave the country regularly as a young person (dad is European) so I completely get what you mean about being highly impressed by other countries and their way of doing things. I'm constantly wondering why WE can't have nice things.

R17 I'm guessing R12 is that MAGA cunt who loves to come onto these threads and attack people simply because she has no soul, no compassion, no empathy, and no life.

I blocked that bitch ages ago. I suggest others do the same.

R30 agree with all of that but as someone who was born and grew up outside of the U.S, what people think of the U.S goverment changes little depending on whether it's republican or democratic, liberal or conservative ....let's just say the foreign policy of WAR WAR WAR and the economic exploitation of other countries doesn't budge much regardless.

r33 LucyQueefer is the racist limerick troll responsible for all of this:

[quote][bold]If Trump starts a Tranny Holocaust in his second term, are you hiding trannies in you home?[/bold]

[quote]Remember, the consequences for getting caught will be severe.

[quote][bold]Gays of DL, do you prefer a full bush, trimmed/clipped, or shaved/waxed?[/bold]

[quote]I prefer to use clippers on my bush since I’m cut loosely so the long hairs get caught under the skin.

[quote][bold]My Muslim neighbor downstairs keeps beating up his wife[/bold]

[quote]I can hear them fighting and her yelling and screaming all the time. Should I call the police or should I just let it go because Allah wills it?

[quote][bold]Let’s talk about fisting[/bold]

[quote]What does it feel like to take a fist in your backside? Does it hurt like a hell or does it feel good if you’re relaxed enough and/or high as a kite?

[quote][bold]Did you hear about the broken hearted necrophiliac?[/bold]

[quote]He cried because after raping Teacake’s mom’s dead body her cunt split in two.

[quote][bold]I kidnapped and murdered Teacake’s sister[/bold]

[quote]Cuz that nasty skank gave me a blister [quote]She threw me some sass [quote]So I jammed it in her ass [quote]And I chopped off her lips and kissed her.

-------

You know what to do.

It’s all you

I have to work.

I am to some extent. But I love my family drama and all. The issue is I am training for an important athletic event and need to get back in shape. They will pressure me to eat all the foods and drink all the alcohol so I am limiting my exposure until after the event, which is unfortunately the day after New Year's.

They mostly understand but are teasing me for being on a diet around the holidays.

You all are tiresome. Kamala Kult.

R35 She's lovely, isn't she?

R39 Hortense the MAGA cunt has entered the conversation.

Fuck off, cunt, and take your hatred to "X" or "Truth" Social where people will jack off to you.

R38 Why do families do this? Is it because they're jealous and resentful?

About 5 years ago, my doctor told me my blood sugar was nearing Type 2 diabetes levels, so I started eating right and exercising more. I lost a lot of weight and got in really good shape. When I went home for Christmas, everyone teased me about my diet and said stupid things like, "Well, you may be skinny, but you must be pissed off that you can't eat the pumpkin pie."

Families can be so cruel.

Maybe, just maybe, family discontent is a reflection of larger problems in our society. You said most of its politics and bitching about people.

We have a love and trust problem. In society, in our world. Greed, corporate or fileal, selfishness, strife.

Well it's too bad the Bible fucked it up on the perscutions of gays. It got some things right about not being selfish and thinking of others.

We just need an updated. How to be a decent person and build a decent society. Why is Mom so mad? Why do they family members fight? Why can't we all just get along?

Happy holidays!

I used to plan big Christmas celebrations for my family. One year, I put up lights all over the backyard (with poster board over the windows so they couldn’t see) and then hired a harpist to play while they saw everything. I also had it set up as a movie theater to watch Its A Wonderful Life projected on a sheet hung on the house.

Another year, I rented a house for everyone and had a has duo and magician come to perform. Another year, I bought an obscene amount of presents for everyone to randomly open. Fun toys like robots and a hoverboard. Another year, I organized a Survivor event. The youngest won and it was a feel good experience. I did it the next year and it resulted in fighting and crying. I was so bummed that I haven’t done anything for the family since then. That was 2017. Now, I just spend Christmas with my husband and my dog and it’s lovely.

R44 Who are you, Martha Stewart?

By the way, my parents are the MAGATs to end all MAGATs. Like my Dad has several hats and an autographed photo of Melanie and husband. That’s another reason I’m not jumping at planning a celebration.

I’m r44 by the way

R45 - I gotta admit it was fun until it wasn’t.

Sounds tiring and expensive.

It was, ultimately.

R44 that sounds like you are trying very very hard to gain their approval by wowing them with entertainment. Is it not enough to enjoy each others company during Christmas?

Absolutely. But is it really a choice if the "family" doesn't exist?

R51 I think that's precisely why R44 stopped doing this.

He realized he was never going to get his family's approval.

One of my favorite Christmases I ever had was the Christmas I spent alone. This was 15 year ago, but I slept in, then drove to the beach with my dog and took a nice long walk, got drive-thru Del Taco, went home and relaxed. It was so peaceful and awesome, a very happy memory.

Love that r54

R44 you need to just be yourself around EVERYONE and do not try to impress people.

I was going to go home, but then I called my sister today, and she started ranting about the Daniel Penny trial and how all the "blacks" are going to protest the verdict and that she hopes they all get arrested and go to jail if things get violent.

Then I laughed and said, "Like the January 6th rioters, right?" Then she got mad and started yelling and saying how the January 6th rioters were a totally different situation, blah blah blah...

It was in that moment that I decided to stay in town for Christmas.