Let’s be 2004

I'm the stone cold silence in Manhattan offices the day after Bush wins re-election.

I’m “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”, the first Potter film released in summer and the last one released on VHS.

I'm the financial crisis looming overhead American shoppers dutifully buying toys, cars, boats, and "investment homes", etc. under the Bush/Cheney directive to $pend patriotically.

I’m the low rise jeans worn by all of the hottest chicks in NYC & L.A.

My two best friends are the tramp stamp tattoo & the panty thong peaking out of me, just so…

I’m the downfall of femininity. Being a bad girl party slut who gets arrested is so hot!

I'm Obama's DNC speech.

I'm the downhill spiral of Sex and the City.

I’m “Friends” and “Frasier” ending. NBC will never be the same.

I’m Kanye. Sane & successful.

I'm that hot new band Maroon 5!

I’m Ashlee Simpson’s weird dance on SNL after she was caught lip syncing.

I’m Green Day’s big comeback with “American Idiot”!

I’m Janet’s booby at the SuperBowl on live television!

I’m John Stevens. I lasted longer on “American Idol” than Jennifer Hudson, even though she has a more powerful voice.

I’m the tsunami.

I’m Same-Sex Marriage being Legalized in Massachusetts, the first state to do so. Two decades later the domino effect of this will lead to the T agenda taking over all the attention.

I’m the gauchos…

I can't believe 2004 was 20 years ago. I still feel like 20 years ago is like the 80s or 90s.

I am the lacy slip tops--- lingerie as normal wear.

I’m the MAC force field in a way too dark bronze.

I’m the Red Sox winning the World Series

I'm the Converse Chuck Taylors that everyone in my middle school wore.

(I bought red ones because that's what Clive Owen wore in Sin City)

R8- No misses that mediocre show Friends.

Frasier was at times an excellent show.

I'm myself in March 2004 when two good looking straight acting guys hit on me in a gay bar.

I'm my smokin' hot body, toned and trim at 21.

I’m the tragically crappy movie Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. Wanna see Jimmy hump his wife? Wanna see 12 different plot points that never merge? Who wants to watch the sublime Jan Hooks burp and fart in her last movie ever?

I'm Jenna Lewis' (of Season 1 Survivor fame) sex tape being "leaked". Her hubby had a pretty nice dick.

That's hot ^

I’m Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing.

I’m pre-Sasha Fierce Queen Bey. Most beautiful girl next door.

I’m silicon in the black titty that will become the most famous titty of all time.

I’m American eagle meets skater boy.

I’m spitting facts on Oprah in 2004. 4 years later I will become the most powerful man in the world.

R24 Why do you say that. Why can’t you get your old body back. Everyday is a new day to turn all around.

I’m Nancy Grace discussing the verdict of Scott Peterson.

I’m “The Phantom of the Opera” finally getting the cinematic treatment.

I’m the religious right pretending we care about adultery and sexual assault because 20 years later babyyyyyy…

I’m Alien vs Predator!

I'm this awesome rainy live performance of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls -- on July 4th to boot!

I"m Kenneth Blackwell, helping to steal an election through fraud.

We’re Brad n Jen - Hollywood’s golden couple 4 eva 💕

We’ll see…

I’m the pilot episode of “Lost” and I am awesome.

I’m the ubiquitousness of Yeah by Usher.

I’m Simon, Randy, and Paula.

And I’m a bottle of booze.

I’m one of the dopest videos of all time featuring 2 future black conservative cunts.

I'm printing the directions from mapquest

I’m Ciara’s Goodies and her old face. Bitch looked like Wanda Sykes.

I’m the inexplicable feelings of lust everytime I see Tony Shalhoub on tv.

I’m Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning’s paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week.

I am the rise of nostalgia based tv..."I love the 60s/70s/80s" etc , all retrospective shows aimed at Boomers and X-ers. It was cool to look back then.

I am also the beginning of the Golden Age of "it's so bad it's good reality tv"...the Surreal Life, Flavor of love, I love NY, Rock of love, Charm School, etc

I'm myself, calling in sick at my job and going to watch Closer....Clive Owen is so fucking hot and NEEDS to be the next James Bond

Hi RFK, Jr., posting at R40!

I’m the world at the praecipe of the advent of the ubiquitous smartphone.

I’m the top selling mp3 player.

I’m Netflix. Still known only as a DVD mailer service.

I'm VH1 going from playing older contemporary music to doing trashy reality shows.

I'm the launch of Facebook.

I'm John ashcroft attorney General measuring curtains for bare breasted statues

I’m Andrew Van De Camp being caught by my mom at the stripper’s bar. At this point, I’m still being written as straight.

I'm "Jack and Bobby", a new teen angst drama from Greg Berlanti. Two brothers- One will grow up to be president, one will die tragically before the world would learn what a great man he is. But which one? I star underage twink Logan Lerman, genuinely hot Matt Long, award winning actress Christine Lahti (with her claims of being the original lead for "Fatal Attraction"). John Slattery is a recurring character before his days on "Mad Men". I also give life to the phrase "money grubbing whore". Several well known actors make cameo appearances in my pseudo-documentary set up. Some closet queen named Bradley Cooper got an early start here. Gee, I wonder how she got this part?

I'm pretty good. Lots of critical acclaim about my writing and acting. Much ado about a Thanksgiving episode about Jack's closeted gay former best friend committing suicide after Jack dropped him. (Spoiler Alert: The friend harbored love for Jack which made Jack uncomfortable.) The actor went on to star in "Suits". I handle a lot of heavy topics very well, including speaking out about the Dubya Bush administration as the worst rethuglican president in history. Who knew, huh? However, I only last one season even after efforts to save me. Evangelical darling "Seventh Heaven" continues to run several more seasons even after its lead is proven to be a little girl diddling pervert and his TV wife backs him up.

I am nowhere to be found on streaming or even YouTube.

I just got wacked but now I’m the street but sweet guidette on Joey.

I’m a pre-renaissance Jennifer Coolidge, stealing every “Joey” scene I’m in as his outrageous agent.

I'm myself, getting laid for what turned out to be the last time.

I’m Mrs. Martha Huber, the first big murder on “Desperate Housewives”.

I'm "Girls Gone Wild." I advertise relentlessly late at night. People treat me as a joke despite how problematic I am, when you think about it.

R34- I am not the same person as R25.

I’m the Olson twins off to college at NYU Gallatin!

I'm Barbra Streisand, returning to the big screen after an eight year absence. It's a silly movie called 'Meet the Fockers', a sequel to the hit comedy 'Meet the Parents'. Ben Stiller plays my son, and he honestly begged me to join the cast as his stereotypical Jewish mother who happens to be a sex therapist named Roz Focker. They offer me a hefty paycheck for minimal work. I left him and the rest of the cast dangling for months before I said yes (after I heard they were talking to Bette Midler to take the role if I said 'no').

I'm not the producer, nor the director, and certainly not the star -since this is an ensemble comedy (though I get all the media attention). I work with Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman, and pretend in interviews that I'm having so much fun with them and wanted to work with them for 'years' but never found the right project. With an $80M budget and plenty of press about my 'return' to cinema, we're pushed as the BIG Christmas movie of 2004. We gross over $522M at the worldwide box office, and I take all the credit since my audience returned in droves to see my big return.

Move over Barbra...I'm Glenn Close and now that 'Phantom' has been made into a movie, Andrew will be focused on turning my award-winning performance in 'Sunset Boulevard' into a major motion picture. Cameras start rolling in January, and it will be the big Christmas movie of 2005, which means I will be picking up my Oscar for Best Actress (finally!) in Spring, 2006. Mark your calendar.

I’m Phil Spector. They won’t let me wear my fucking wig in here! I didn’t shoot that crazy bitch! She did it herself!

I’m the online pharmacy you’ve become aware of after your doctor strung you out in benzos and pain killers. I send you any pill you ask for. You fill it with our online dispensary after speaking with our special doctor for thirty seconds. We’re from Amsterdam but we know you need meds post 9/11 nervous systems demand it! We’re here for you. Until we aren’t.

Hardly R54. It was well estabished.

Thanks r39, that was great!

I am John Resnik’s former face

I'm Al Gore, still waiting for Florida to finish the count from 2000 and over-turn the election into my favor.

R23 “No misses that mediocre show Friends.”

So… all hits?

I don't think George W. Bush assuming an office he was NEVER ELECTED TO TWICE to be a laughing matter R76. What foul pigs all republicans are.

RFK, Jr., posting at R78! His election denying was one of his earlier signs of being a quack. That & his belief that Sirhan did not kill his father.

What kind of a name is Sirhan Sirhan, anyway?

We heard you the first time!

I'm Marlon Brando. I did smack in the middle of this year, July 1. Some dumb girl who grew up worshipping me will go to the bathroom at work to cry about it after reading it on Yahoo news.

*died

That never happened R81. I mean a woman at work crying in the bathroom.

Marlon Brando's looks appealed primarily to males.

R83 I actually didn't cry. I was too much in shock and we were busy. I shed a few tears later at home though.

R84 obviously, you don't know many females.

I remember when we read the play in high school, the girls detested Stanley until we watched the Brando film and then they felt conflicted.

They even commented on how gorgeous/hot he looked.

I'm Rick James, bitch! Fuck yo couch!