Gen Z’s Romance Gap: Why Nearly Half of Young Men Aren’t Dating

The author is part of some right wing think tank.

They could start by getting off their phones and, you know, talking to someone in real life.

Boomers had the most teenage relationships, they were also married with children by their early 20s which sounds like a nightmare to anyone under 40 who hasn’t done it yet today.

Goodie!

They are so very extra about everything.

I’m just going to defend them here because it’s not like any generations before that have proven successful at romantic relationships.

Maybe they’re all taking their time to find the right partner instead of jumping into fucked up relationships, marriages, surprise babies like generations before them?

Children are much the same as any other generation that is living currently, and prefer the cozy worlds of social media, gaming and porn to interacting with other human beings.

I don't remember millennials having these male-female dating problems.

We dated, hooked up, fucked, dumped each other, married, divorced without this isolation problem.

The Internet and Trump kills everything.

R9 or Gen Z just plain sucks?

We grew up during the Dubya Bush years but we didn't start mimicking Republican ideals because of it.

R8 What are you on about? Fifty percent of millennials are single with no kids. We’re the generation with the less amount of marriages.

R11 but at least we had fun hooking up. We never had problems dating or hooking up.

Our generation never bought into the settle down with a spouse, have kids and be miserable by 40. Maybe we were too libertine?

r8 I wasn't allowed to date as a teen or even receive phone calls from boys. Hilariously, my folks thought they hit the lottery when I didn't seem to have a problem with this and showed zero interest in boys and even openly expressed my abhorrence for my male peers. I guess the thought of me being a lesbian never crossed their minds. They were just grateful not to have to worry about me ending up as a statistic.

R13 oh look, some lesbo trying to be a Mary Contrary and who has some opinion about Gen Z men dating

r14 It is no different than the DL geriatrics who have all things Gen Z living in their heads rent free and blessing us all with their diatribe of the week about that demographic. A practice of which I'm sure you are quite familiar.

R15 surely you can make your way back to L Chat. You have no love for DL geriatrics. And vice versa.

R11 Agreed.

And that say the millennial divorce rate is low but it’s also because less millennials age married and aren’t old enough to even hit the average divorce rate age.

r16 Sir, go to hell.

You come on here every five minutes whining about Gen X and Gen Z pretending to be a millennial when in fact we all know you're shell-shocked from WWII. Your liver spots can be seen from space.

Get the fuck outta here, R18. You're in no position to be telling any SIR here to go to hell or not.

Go eat some geriatric pussy on L Chat

R12 But to be fair, Gen Z grew up in the MeToo era.

There was a point in time a few years ago where people were saying having sex with a drunk woman is rape even if you’re drunk too. And that all men are predators.

So I can understand both men and women being afraid of each other.

[quote]You're in no position to be telling any SIR here to go to hell or not.

r19 Again. Go to hell. Sir.

And not to mention R12, we were the last generation that have privacy off the internet.

MySpace came out when I was maybe 17? I was around 23 when Twitter and Instagram started so I was hooking up and being crazy during a time when cell phone videos and photos were horrific quality and no one knew what I was up to. And if I was an asshole to a hookup they wouldn’t go on Snapchat or TikTok or wherever and post about it.

r22 No. They'd just put you on blast on MySpace, LiveJournal or Xanga.

Dyke R23 hath spoken.

She can go fuck off on Tik Tok

r24 Hmm. How's the weather in Queensland, DGL?

R25 what makes you such an expert on Gen Z men, dyke?

r26 Answer my question at r25, DGL. You're very transparent. You're the only weird on DL who has an almost pathological level of disdain for women.

Stalk anyone lately? Or are you finally on house arrest?

I don't GAF about women. I think they're boring and completely uninteresting.

What forces you to be here, r27?

[quote]I don't GAF about women.

r28 Said the weirdo who damn-near tripped over himself to respond to the only (known) woman participating in this thread with his bullshit.

R29 Bye cunt. Go lick some desperate pussy elsewhere.

r30 For someone who supposedly doesn't "GAF about women" you sure do make a point to ensure you respond to every damn one on this site when afforded the opportunity. I wasn't even talking to you in r13, for real.

Just all in an A and B conversation.

Everybody wants someone hotter. All public interactions are micro transactions for dopamine. Life moves too fast to trust others anymore, especially sexual partners, and our cynicism tells us they’ll eventually disappoint us. At best, a “healthy” long term relationship will include fights and bleak moments. So why even try to make your broken self attractive for some other broken person? Such a future just isn’t worth it for some folks.

R31, IDGAF.

If you have some grand statement to make about women, get the fuck out of here and go make your satement somewhere where it actually matters

Agreed r22. The stakes these days in terms of widely disproportionate social humiliation over what should be entirely private activities can be insane. An additional crazy minefield to be wary of

r33 The reply at r8 mentioned millennials and male-female teen dating, you goofy bitch. That is what I was responding to specifically as a female millennial.

And I'm responding to you as a male millennial.

Get yourself and your goofy little bitches the fuck outta here.

r36 You were habitually -and deservedly- rejected in high school by your betters and it shows.

R37 I fear that was your own lesbian lifestyle :I :(

Could you two stop arguing now? Half the posts have been taken up with this back & forth. Let's get this thread back on track to the topic.

I agree, r39. FUCK that dyke

It's a crying shame. Biggest cocks in the history of human kind, on the Gen Z dudes.

Link please, R41.

Maybe there’s less dating amongst Gen Z-ers because they’re all so intolerable they can’t even stand each other?

Did anyone think of THAT?

r39 His ugly ass started it. Anyway, the topic is about heterosexual dating. Something OP knows absolutely nothing about, so his concern is weird.

Stop

“mao” is TeaCake pretending to be a black lesbian.

r45 It's the boredom. It beckons me.

They're hooking up online. That's all men ever wanted, to fuck around. They don't want boredom or marriage or brats.

Most hetero men do want a child or two. When it's convenient and affordable.

Don't you have a carpet to munch or a UHaul to drive you stupid cunt, R47?

Because they don’t bathe

And those are just the women, R51!

Every thread is a struggle between earnest discussion and our mandated pointless bitchery. The PB seems to be winning by a wide margin in this case.

Lezzies are welcome, if they're real lesbians, straight woman should die fast and with pain.

I'm sorry but Gen Z women are hideous. They look like total slobs.

R55 yeah what man wants to fuck a fat pig woke bitch with shaved sides, neon green hair, hairy armpits, a bullring in their nose, wearing a Carebears sweatshirt under overalls and dirty sneakers?

Millennial women never dressed like that r56. those bitches put in the work.

R57 heavy bronzers, glass lipgloss and Juicy tracksuits were better than Gen Z styles and that’s saying alot

r58 Gen X were Gen Z's moms and those bitches wore ugly shapeless flannels and baggy jeans. No wonder their daughters are a total mess

R59 gross, grunge chicks turned mommies

[quote] Lezzies are welcome, if they're real lesbians, straight woman should die fast and with pain.

Pardon me, ma'am, but I'll have you know many of us hetero gals having been hanging tough on DL for years.

All of my brothers and cousins were married by age 22. A fair number of their kids – boys and girls – haven't had a date before their 20s. They don't seem bothered by it, though.

I heard a story that the Gen Z girls, with limited access to abortion, have taken to eating their unwanted young, like hamsters.

Has anyone seen this firsthand?

They're too attached to their phones to think about girls. Also why they got into some of this dumb Trump stuff.

R63, placenta salad is very popular amongst Zoomers. It's trending on TikTok.

A small part of this has gotta be because kids don't have unsupervised outdoor playtime anymore. Young men and women are terrified of each other for many reasons, but the lack of early, organic fraternization doesn't help.

Could it have something to do with the fact that WE ALL ARE STARING AT GLOWING RECTANGLES 24/7?

[quote]We grew up during the Dubya Bush years but we didn't start mimicking Republican ideals because of it.

Ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA (ad infinitum). Yeah, all those idiots who just elected the worst candidate for president in the history of the nation — fully knowing that he was, is and will be the worst president in history (if not our last) — didn't "mimic" Republican ideals. At all. Totally.

Y'all know that one of the chief criticisms of Bush the younger was that he was just plain stupid, right?

There's a through-line from Bush 2 to Trump, and it runs through the low grounds of ignorance, stupidity,and immorality.

I'm sorry to interrupt your seizure R68 but Trump wasn't on us millennials. That was largely the idiot generation before us

our nephews in their teens all just "hang out". going on an actual date is something they treat with the wonder of one beholding a pencil dialing a rotary phone. it's ancient.

Why are young men not dating? It's actually pretty easy to understand. We now live in the age of social media where everything is curated, made beautiful, and flawless... because random, average and imperfect do not garner "likes". Young men came into the world that young women have inhabited for generations, suddenly finding themselves critiqued on appearance and effort instead of just existing. Add in the isolation inherent in the internet plus a global pandemic in which isolation was the only way to avoid catching the virus and you have the perfect storm in which young people didn't learn to socialize and get along with their peers.

Have you ever shaken hands with a Zoomer before?

Gen Z has jizzy hands right now.

Not a seizure, just a good belly laugh, R69.

Go look at the poll analysis which shows that one of the reasons Trump won was because young men (real young men between 20 and 45, not the "young" men of DL) went for Trump in much bigger numbers than even 4 years ago. Yes, it was Gen X that overwhelmingly voted for Shitler, but millennials and Gen Z voted for him, too. It rather goes hand-in-hand with the Republican nihilism wrought by Bush/Cheney and their perpetual war machine, which devolved into the Tea Party, simmered some and became MAGAts.

Umm yeah, young men as in Gen Z R73. I guess their fathers didn't provide a very good example for them.

Porn.

End of.

A world build on commodification of everything, including sex, just kind of sucks and people are checking out around the world. It’s happening everywhere because social media reaches all countries, developing and developed. It’s easier to let the hot, rich people and their kids fight each other for the scraps of the future. Until humanity decides to create a sustainable, stable, equal future, this will be a running theme.

The low hanging fruit (porn, video games, social media and internet accessible entertainment) is hanging lower than ever

Fuck you r53, don't come here trying to change it to mommy fucking central, go stick a knife in your slimy cunt Mommy, this is goddamn data lounge!!! Fucking batshit cuntTwat

45% of young adults under 30 still live at home with their parents. Imagine coming over and hanging out in someone's ROOM with their parents in the kitchen? Most young people can't afford to go out to nice restaurants or drinks - so how are you going to pay for dates? And then what - get a handle in the car in the driveway?

Also I have to think that being in lock-down for 18 months during COVID re-set people - they can be fine alone.

I honestly think people 22-35 are just locked into a mentality of - why bother? It won't get better. I won't be able to afford a home. It's pretty desperate.

R1, maybe the left should lay more attention to this issue.

I think the main issue is that more of Gen Z is fat and obese and they don’t want to date each other.

Is that why they brought back mom jeans R81? To hide their rolls

I’m a member of Gen X, but so far we have turned out to be pretty awful. All Trump voters, and failures as parents raising these maladjusted Gen Zs.

Breeders always believe their spawn will be better than most. Luckily, recent generations are opting out of that rat race. Will all the excess people floating aeound, maybe we’ll see new homosexual monastic orders be founded, where hermits live beyond the opposite sex, beyond the consumerism that has defined success.

I certainly have a disdain for most women, and most men do to, straight men just want pussy anyway, gay men just want to be left the fuck alone by straight cunts, and hope the straights shut up about THEIR own cunts who irritate them.

They're busy lending their bros a helping hand. They're fine.

I couldn’t wait. I had these urges.

R83 - I'm Gen X too. We were the first generation to be raised with civil rights, women's rights and later gay rights as established items.

Half of our Generation ran with that - while the other half rebelled against it and was influenced by their Boomer and Silent Gen parents.

True Gen X never looked around and saw this collective group - we were all segmented into different cliques and music and interests. In my opinion, we were one of the most diverse and not unified generations. Of course we have Trumpers and assholes - we went to school with them and knew it.

As far as the kids - I blame the iPads and phones.

Oh ffs. This is why, y'all. The below has been corroborated by my Gen Z and younger Millennial baby brothers and their friends, as well.

It's not complicated, people. Gen Z males and females are just exhausted with one another. Millennial males who have dated Gen Z girls also to say the same thing. My timeline is filled with the complaints from the dudes I went to high school with. All of them want to speak to a manager about the state of the dating game today. And it's hilarious.

Oop! Here goes some of the bullshit one of them posted today. This is an almost a daily occurrence. I assume after an unpleasant conversation with their BMs.

This is the type of material Gen Z AND Millennial men are taking in (Ackademiks is an older Millennial). Gen Z young women see this, read the comments (no really, read the comments, everybody is big mad), and conclude that men ain't shit. So, now they're all single and hate each other.

This is so not a difficult question to answer. There is no mystery. They live on social media, absorb this content, and take it with them into the real world.

Did Boomers and Gen X have something similar that basically told men and women to despise each other and lower dating and marriage incentives? Serious question.

R31 Mao, I have that poster who has you in a tizzy on block. I suggest you do the same. Instead of debating with a gaslighter, just block and move on. It's so great. I was not exposed to a single one of the posts that you were responding to.

R91 Yeah, I was bored. As hell. Clearly, lol. But that's the OP. I never understood how someone is still able to see threads created by people they've blocked. Unless you blocked him in this thread?

Fucking teacake thread

R90 has a point - seems like people go out less than before and then they check all the socials on a person before they go on a date. Anything they look at can be taken out of context and create an ick that stops everything.

Then you have the completely outrageous demands of a partner - looks, height (particularly for men who have to be over 6ft), income. I'd have to say most of it are the high standards for men. Yes women have to look good and everything - but men have to be tall, fit, no kids, and huge income and no baggage.

[quote]r94 men have to be tall, fit, no kids, and huge income and no baggage.

The article is about TEEN dating.

Women just have to be EASY-going -is that what you’re saying?

[quote]Yes women have to look good and everything

r94 Meh. Not necessarily. Males have some of the most laughably low standards for looks when they're just wanting to get laid. I actually ran an experiment on Tinder last month to prove a point . For the record, I look like Gollum fucked a pygmy hippo. I am not what most people would consider conventionally attractive. Quite the opposite, in fact. Yet, somehow, I still managed to get 100s-1000s of likes (see album below). When you look at the rest of the screenshots in the album, you'll see the "quality" of the type of man that was swiping right.

The women who swiped right were just unicorn hunting and already had male partners. There is [bold]nothing[/bold] out there these days. Gen Z understands this and is responding accordingly. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an MK 1 tournament to lose.

R97 - I don't understand your point. There is nothing out there and yet there are all of these matches? This is what every social media post talks about - men swipe and get zero to hardly any matches. Women - any ordinary woman - get hundreds.

Some of these guys have made the same profiles on Grindr just to see the difference and if they are attractive - they get so depressed because they get hundreds of matches very quickly.

Seems like the problem is with young women - and why wouldn't there be when at any moment in time, you can open your phone and scroll through tens or hundreds of new guys who expressed interest in you.

The numbers for online are so imbalanced in women's favor.

R98, but that’s online dating sites. I imagine that many women who have no interest in meeting men that way, it’s too risky.

R99 - and yet they are on there. Look, I understand that there are some creeps out there - but part of the problem also is the general villainizing of all men.

There are a lot of risky women out there too!

Then there's the whole 'don't approach me in a bar' conversations out there - which is valid sometimes, but then you send a message that you only want to be approached if YOU want to be approached - how the hell are men supposed to know? Then a lot of these women complain online about not meeting men when they go out.

It feels like women have changed all the rules about dating to be in their favor - they will sit upon high while men should do all the work, texting them, planning dates, wooing them, etc.

I've seen a lot of threads on social media where men are doing all the texting and they are just getting one word responses from women then when they complain, they say that men should try harder.

I'm glad I'm not straight.

[quote]I certainly have a disdain for most women, and most men do to

I certainly have disdain for men who don't know the difference between to, too, and two.

[quote]I don't understand your point. There is nothing out there and yet there are all of these matches?

r98 And your lack of understanding my point actually proves my point. Men -gay, straight, bi (but especially straight and bi)- typically have zero standards when it comes to just getting laid. They will fuck a hole in the wall at a rest stop just to get sexual release. Women, of all orientations, typically look for more than just sexual release. Women are more likely to be looking for a life partner or companion while men are just looking to fuck something.

The options men perceive women to have are viewed through a male lens as an advantage because men see being sexually desired by thousands of others from their desired sex as a win due to sex being the primary motivator for most men when it comes to dating.

Therefore, it's not a flex for a woman to have a bunch of likes or attention from men because men are notorious for just wanting somewhere to stick their dicks. Men are easy. Sluts, if you will. As a result, male attention, by itself, holds absolutely no value to women. It's not flattering, nor a compliment. Those thousands of likes from my experiment were especially lacking in value because I am fully aware that I'm quite physically unattractive. Obviously, the likes were due to throwing spaghetti at a wall in an attempt to get sex from any woman who would have them.

And I say there's nothing out there because on the lesbian side, if you're under 40, it really is just a bunch of women either going through a man-hate phase or window-shopping with their boyfriends and husbands for a 3rd. No lesbian with even a modicum of self-respect is willing to put up with any of that. Every other profile is littered with "ENM-poly-queer" bullshit. You could also see proof of that in the screenshot album provided.

Guys have even done experiments like this by "turning themselves into girls" and just seeing exactly how thirsty men are on the apps and it then becomes clear why they're struggling once they put themselves in a woman's shoes for a moment. This experiment was a trend on social media for bit. Mostly with Gen Z young men. Some decided to give up once they saw how many "options" women were getting. Others decided to wise up once they realized how cringey they were coming off after making themselves the prey (see below).

Dating apps and social media are not good conduits for human interaction. In fact they bring out the worst. And even when people do get together often a good deal of their attention is focused on these little boxes. Is anyone surprised by this?

R102 - I can confidently say that gay men DO have standards. Maybe not as much at midnight on a Saturday, I'll admit that.

I watched the video you linked - all I saw was how many matches he got as a girl and him commenting about how good-looking the other guys are and that he can't compete with these other men?

Aren't there apps just for lesbians?

So having hundreds of options all the time isn't a flex but getting no to very few matches for men is fair? And your assumption that men are just looking to fuck and that women aren't is completely wrong - in the same manner that men want relationships and some women actually don't.

There are plenty of men who DO want relationships, who DO want to date - you see it online all the time. But lack of matches - or matching and then having the profile try to get them to send them money or sign-up for their Only Fans is also depressing.

But having tons of options - even on real dating oriented apps - still feels like it would be far easier for women to be uncommitted, to go on to another guy because who knows if he's better? The bigger and better deal mentality is real - and is fueled by having so many options.

Sex is a lot of work. There has to be an easier, faster, more practical means of procreating our species.

R105 - Have you read Handmaiden's Tale? Second to my other favorite Ayn Rand, I found it to be reasonable and worth looking into!

R105, funny. Heterosexual sex SHOULD require some work. You have to have some baseline competence to maintain a relationship and raise children.

R107 Maybe Aunt Ida in John Waters’ film Female Trouble was right, then.

[quote]I can confidently say that gay men DO have standards.

r104 I agree with this. Gay men certainly have higher standards than straight men. But when it comes to just getting a hook-up, gay men have the luxury of being as picky as straight women for no other reason than the fact that men, in general, are insanely easy to get into bed. Straight men are in a beggars can't be choosers situation of sorts in that regard. Ergo, their lower standards.

Yes, there are apps just for lesbians. If only it was just women on there. The state of the HER app is a complete joke and 1/4 a sausage fest. Zoe got greedy. You can't interact with anyone without paying. But I digress.

[quote]There are plenty of men who DO want relationships, who DO want to date - you see it online all the time.

I know this, but those men are in the minority and are being drowned out by their fuckboi peers. The result is women no longer taking men seriously and choosing to stay single and/or choose situationships over relationships with a gender that no longer seems to be worthy of bothering in their eyes.

The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of Millennial and Gen Z men are not looking for a committed relationship. They want sex without the "drama" of expectations that women tend to bring. Young women are waking up to that realization and no longer making finding a partner their priority.

I could see why speed dating would be good - BUT, the few times I've seen it, the same thing happens again. Women get several matches - men get few to none.

Then some of the women who got 'picked' don't want to date any of the men there.

Young women seems to blend this balance of overly confident and over estimating their attractiveness with the self-criticism knife "we get judged all the time - it's so hurtful!"

A lot of times that criticism is coming from women - not men.

R109 - like with everything, it's not all men's fault. Women have to take some responsibility for this - the amount of fuckbois out there is way over estimated. And there are an equal amount of fuck girls who string guys along on dates for free dinner and other things - or play them along for OnlyFans.

Something is broken on both sides. Still, SOOO glad I'm not straight.

And to pay for a lesbian app seems to be a small price to pay - a lot of apps are pay-based. To have men on there is fucking ridiculous though - but there are women on Grindr.

r111 In no way am I saying anything is all men's fault. Women have enabled the behavior in numerous ways under the guise of female empowerment and liberation.

But having been in that space years ago, however brief, I will say that men also are their own worst enemies, here. They consistently pursue the type of woman who is into ONS, hook-ups and overlook the more modest and decent woman because they know the former will, generally, be easier to get into bed. In turn, such women manipulate the male drive for sexual release to their own benefit.

It's all a game, but the game requires two players, and neither party wants to step back an acknowledge the part they're playing in the dysfunction.

And under no circumstances would I ever put money into a dating app. I threw away some stored up Google Play points to purchase Tinder Gold for that experiment and am, lowkey, regretting that wasteful decision. Gen Z men have the right idea. It's better to just stay by yourself.

^ *that hetero space

Some of us Gen Ys would love to date too, but people are either not invested, not experienced, or just plain creepy.

Now that they’ve got other options, men and women have figured out they don’t like each other very much.

R43 for the WIN!

It's not all the fault of Gen Z young boys.

Those Gen Z girls are gross

"I know this, but those men are in the minority and are being drowned out by their fuckboi peers. The result is women no longer taking men seriously and choosing to stay single and/or choose situationships over relationships with a gender that no longer seems to be worthy of bothering in their eyes."

I don't think this is true. I think that most young people aren't fucking, and if they do, it's like one and done---they're too socially stunted to even pursue more sex. It cuts into the time they spend on their devices.

If they can’t date maybe they won’t breed… and overpopulation will decrease?

Fertility rates are already sub-replacement in most developed countries, R119. Thankfully like all animals, humans procreate less frequently when they are subjected to unhealthy amounts of stress. And as life has gotten infinitely more complicated, fertility rates have predictably fallen in the west for the last couple of centuries.

Thank the Goddess.

You know who gets pissed off the most about falling fertility rates? The 1%. A smaller worker pool means they have to pay more - and it's always been this way, since the Peasant Revolt of the 14th century.

The immigration restriction in the US starting in the 1920's, as racist as it was, did limit the worker pool and forced companies to provide good wages and benefits.

Yes there are some problems with fewer people - but it's mainly the upper class who feels the pain because they don't have as many people to exploit.