Would Precious make a good musical?

OP, yes!! I'd love to see it with Marsha Warfield and Lizzo.

What's "Precious", precious? What's "Precious"?

Kelli O'Hara for the Mo'nique role.

I bet Lizzo would be in it if they start letting her eat again.

It absolutely would.

I would like to hear Mary’s song about how alone, broken and just plain fucked up she is.

The fried chicken song would be a highlight for me.

There’s only one way it would work:

Billy Porter performs it as a one-person show, switching from the Gabourey Sidibe role to Mo’Nique to Mariah to Robin Thicke’s ex right down to barn-burning solos as both the stolen bucket of chicken and the thrown television.

What rhymes with precious? Or Mo’Nique?

I could burp the entire score!

Oh, Lord, it’s one of them days. Feet hurt, stomach growlin’, And I don’t see nothin’ on my plate. PRECIOUS!

(Pause, no response. Mary’s temper builds as the music starts stomping harder.)

Get your big ass in here, don’t make me call twice! I want them pig’s feet cooked up nice. Don’t give me no lip, don’t you roll your eyes. I raised you, girl, and I can bury you alive!

‘Cause I’m sittin’ in this chair, I ain’t movin’ today. You best get to that kitchen and start obeyin’, okay? And don’t you dare serve me no damn hairy meat, If I see one goddamn strand—oh, girl, it’s defeat!

I'll throw in my 75%

Too dark, OP

This has to be trolling. Have you actually ever seen the film Precious Op.

Yes, the 11 o'clock number, "I Was Giving Her the Titty," about how Precious's mom let her husband rape the child, will absolutely bring the house down.

If they keep Mariah Carey in it.