Had it with my racist MIL...
My MIL is driving me up the wall. I am biracial and have been with my partner for ten years. He is my soulmate in every way. He moved away from his hometown and lived in Europe for many years getting his PhD and working. So he is quite different from the rest of his family.
His mother emigrated to Canada from Scotland and married his dad. My MIL left school at 13 and is extremely ignorant. These are a few examples of what she has said recently:
- Japanese people are cold - Muslims are dangerous - Her local department store only hires incompetent 'Persians' and they don't speak English and are stealing jobs from Canadians. - she is going to adopt a black dog and name it Jamaica - because my mother is from Jamaica. - I am not really black. - Kamala Harris is incompetent because of her race. - Black men always have nice teeth.
Not only is racist but she is extremely spoiled and ungrateful. She expects expensive gifts and is always complaining that we don't visit enough. We live on opposite ends of the country and Skype weekly. My in laws are also quite wealthy and yet never remember birthdays, etc - when we constantly do. She has four grandchildren who can't stand her and she has no friends.
So anyway I am TIRED. I am starting to really loathe the woman . Obviously I love my husband though. Is it too much to refuse to visit? She is even worse in person...
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | December 2, 2024 10:35 PM
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Cut her out of your lives, OP. if your partner doesn't at least YOU cut her out. If he loves you he'll stand up for you and be proud that you are doing it for yourself.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | December 2, 2024 7:48 PM
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SLAP her face and delete her number from your phone
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | December 2, 2024 7:49 PM
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“Old people have such a hard time fitting into modern society. All they do is go around making idiotic comments, that are hurtful to people.”
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | December 2, 2024 7:49 PM
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If she makes racist and bigoted remarks to you in conversation, call her on it. Tell her that's racist, and you will not abide with it.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | December 2, 2024 7:52 PM
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Stay at a hotel if you must visit. Racists are feeling invigorated since the election. If she gets to be too much, you can exit dramatically. If you're staying at the house, you can't leave easily and you might plunge a knife into her throat. Staying elsewhere is for her own safety.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | December 2, 2024 7:55 PM
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[Quote] I am biracial
Ok so you’re bisexual and racial? What are you talking about? Such gibberish.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | December 2, 2024 7:55 PM
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OP, your partner has very little respect for you, otherwise, he would cut his mother out of your lives.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | December 2, 2024 8:06 PM
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She sounds like a DLer.
Actually, posters introducing this site to their mothers would explain a hell of a lot of the changes on DL over the past few years
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | December 2, 2024 8:12 PM
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My mil was a similar beast, op. I stopped going on every visit and brought Xanax when I did go. You have to be supportive of your husband. If he loves his mom and wants to go let him but don't be apart for a holiday. If he is in the will send him or cut her off if you want to be out of the will. That's what it all comes down to in the end.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | December 2, 2024 8:20 PM
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Thanks everybody. Racists suck bottom line!
You nailed it R3. Her two other sons are quite unhappy and constantly try to please her. Which is impossible as she is a bitter woman and nothing is ever enough. My partner doesn't do that but he has a sense of duty to both his parents.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | December 2, 2024 8:39 PM
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Well she is right about Muslims.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | December 2, 2024 8:42 PM
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I'd take what you just wrote here on DL and compose a handwritten letter to the bitch explaining why you're opting to no longer have any contact with her. This doesn't have to include your husband. She's his mother, so let him deal with her alone if he still feels he either wants to or has some obligation to maintain a relationship with her.
The reason I'd do it by letter is because that way you can state your position and reasons clearly without emotion, and she can't interrupt you and there will be no in-person arguments.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | December 2, 2024 9:50 PM
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Nothing a dose of rat poison in her coffee won't take care of.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | December 2, 2024 9:54 PM
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If she thinks that way about all those other groups, what does she think of homosexuals?
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | December 2, 2024 10:35 PM
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