Doormen tipping etiquette

Tip them the same in case they compare tips. You don't want to offend anyone. $50 each is fine. If any of them do a little extra for you during the year then slip them a $10 or $20. I live alone and the only thing they do for me is sign for packages so I tip $50. Hope that helps.

Thank you r1; it does!

Offer the hot ones a taste of your nectar, OP

I'm a weekend concierge at an upscale apartment building which is filled with affluent residents. Been here for 7 Christmases. First, congrats to you for being so thoughtful. I'm curious as to how old you are ?

In my building, we do a lot for the residents year round - from signing in Amazon packages for them, to delivering their Grub Hub deliveries when the delivery man leaves it on a lobby table. Here's the break-down:

Those under 40 in general DO NOT TIP. Especially under 35. They lack social etiquette skills.

40 - 65 tip, and the older they are the more generous they tip. Anywhere between $20 - 50, Over 65 they tip with gift cards to local businesses, or expensive liquor (I don't drink).

Unfortunately, those who are handicapped and we do a lot of extras during the year DO NOT TIP, no matter their age. Yes, we do compare what we got with each other so tip equally.

Super helpful and interesting, r4. Thank you!

(I am 41, btw.)

Tip everyone the same ($20-$50 is a good range). Maybe tip the super a bit more, but not required.

If someone was particularly helpful, add more.

In my condo building, the building manager has a common holiday fund, and we donate to that. She divides it up according to some formula of which I am not aware. We donate $300 to the fund.

OP, how many doormen, total?

R4, that was interesting, esp. about handicapped people. They should definitely tip.

I'd say to be generous. You never know when you might need them (the doormen). I tend to be a good tipper and I think it pays off.

Seven or eight total, r8

Tip generously and equally. If you're ever murdered, the doorman will likely be the one to describe your killer to the police.

That's a lot of doormen, R9. Can you afford $50 (cash) each? I'd avoid the temptation to tip them different amounts. If there's one who has been especially helpful, maybe a $25 gift card at another time (on top of the $50 gift).

No, r11, it's really not in my budget to tip them all $50. I could do $20/each.

I'm usually a great tipper -- eg, I tip hotel housekeeping $20/night. I wish I could afford $50/each this year, but alas.

Go with $20 (cash), each, then. It's sweet of you to do this.

You can give the front desk a large gift basket

Go with $20 and if one should happen to go above and beyond for whatever reason, give him a gift at that time.

I also give the live-in superintendent a gift.

I actually spend more money (on gifts) on service people & support staff at work than I do on family. My siblings (parents are dead) are all doing okay financially and have everything that they need. I don't exchange gifts with friends. I don't need more crap to declutter from my apartment.

I tip in a jockstrap

I give 'em all $100 each.

You guys are cheap.

Budget for $75 dollars per doormen next year. Make your own coffee twice a week or sacrifice something doable. As an adult living with service folks daily, it's important to recognize them properly.

R1 is some cheap bastard. That’s not how it works in Manhattan.

Ah, the annual holiday tipping thread...a DL tradition!

I don't have regular service people to tip, as I care for my yard & swimming pool on my own. The only person to tip is the USPS carrier. There has been a rotating cast in my neighborhood the past few years (since our beloved, longtime carrier retired) so I just give them a tin of Trader Joe's "Jingle Jangle" and call it a day.

I miss the days when you could tip service people with two handjobs and a small Whitman’s Sampler……..

Thankfully, I now live in a house and dont have to think about tipping too many people--the postman, cleaning lady, garbage men

r19 you sound insufferable.

[quote] Thankfully, I now live in a house and dont have to think about tipping too many people--the postman, cleaning lady, garbage men

Huh? I lived in a free-standing house and we didn't have a cleaning lady, but we did still have a mail man and a garbage men.

R26, yes I tip those but not the hordes of people who used to staff my apartment building

It’s really about the size of the building. I used to live in a huge NYC building, so I would try to keep the tipping to around $1,000 in total. You’d get a card that said, “holiday greetings from…” and there would be pictures and names for about 50 people. Many of these people you had never met or seen.

Currently I’m in a much smaller building, with about 6 employees. About 4 doormen, a porter, and a super. I genuinely like these people, they’re competent and friendly, so I probably over tip. I’ll give $200 each for the porter and doormen, and $300 to the super. What the hell, they’re great guys.

By the way, if you ask them how much an appropriate tip is, they WILL NEVER TELL YOU.

Coupons out of free weekly ads for Miralax

[quote] Tip generously and equally. If you're ever murdered, the doorman will likely be the one to describe your killer to the police.

I’m slightly chilled by the idea that if you’re murdered and a lousy tipper your doorman won’t identify the killer.

[quote] In my condo building, the building manager has a common holiday fund, and we donate to that. She divides it up according to some formula of which I am not aware. We donate $300 to the fund.

Oh, that's easy - 50/50! Fifty percent for me and 50% for everyone else.

I let him lick the head

Make handmade coupons for “free fucks”

[quote]No, [R11], it's really not in my budget to tip them all $50. I could do $20/each.

OP, at your age - $20 per person is fine. To make it more special, please add a note to the card (always put the money in a 'Holiday' card, or 'New Year' card, not a 'Christmas' card, as you don't know who celebrates what) to personalize each one. For example, "Dear Jim, a special thank you for all do here throughout the year". (You can use the same note in each card, just change the name).

R8 You would think the handicap residents would indeed tip, for all we do for them. However, they have a sense of 'entitlement' while living there and expect us to do what they ask, if not more (and we are not an assisted living facility - this is made clear to them and their families when moving in - we're INDEPENDENT LIVING).

Those under 40 are just horrible. These are men and women who are doctors, lawyers, business owners, teachers, etc. Some of the teachers have P/T jobs on the weekends as servers and bartenders at restaurants in the upscale neighborhood. They rely on tips - and complain to me when they aren't tipped 'enough'. You don't know how hard I bite my lip when they tell me this. Especially during the 'Christmas Party' season. They are totally unaware and self-absorbed.

Where's R4. Maybe he can tell us how much to tip.

Offer them each a holiday blowjob. Most won't take you up on it, and the rest you can do whether they are hot or not -as a service. And if there's a hot one, you can offer more. Even the guys who turn you down will still feel flattered to have been offered, so everyone is happy! And think of the money you'll save!

R35 Read my posts at R4 and R34 - I've given you the breakdown of what is expected.

Is it like cow tipping? I don't think you should do it, OP. You could get arrested!

At one place we invited the super to a Christmas cocktail party at our place. A female friend ended up staying the night at his place.

What about maids and housekeepers? Mine expects a two week salary bonus at the end of the year. She only works every other week, but she is marvelous. But, two weeks salary?

She comes once every two weeks? How much can double that be?

She get $140 a week.

That tracks with every tipped job I've had, r4. Older people take care of service workers and younger people stiff them without a thought.

I give each doorman $250 for the holidays with a big bottle of champagne and an excellent ham. There are six. I do the same for the building manager and his assistant. I also give the building manager a pair of theater tickets. I give security people on contract at the time $150 each and make a fair contribution to the police fund, since they're mostly former cops. There are eight at a time.

I give $10 tips for small deliveries to my place, and more for larger items. Two of the doormen will run errands for me on their off-time, but their remuneration isn't really part of the topic here. The point is that a gift is a gift and a tip is a tip and pay is pay. OP. Don't confuse them.

[quote] What about maids and housekeepers?

I tip my housekeeper double her regular fee.

[quote]I give $10 tips for small deliveries to my place, and more for larger items. Two of the doormen will run errands for me on their off-time

At the place I work, we are not supposed to take tips during the year (not that anyone ever offers). Only at Christmas. I believe new tenants coming in are told this.

R4, you are not in NYC (Manhattan), correct?

RHODE ISLAND.

... is famous for you!

Twenty years ago, we lived in DC is two different buildings with medium sized staff. We tipped $100 per person back then. We were quite young and not rich, and we actually got a lot of weird looks. Maybe they were unaccustomed to young people tipping.

"I give each doorman $250 for the holidays with a big bottle of champagne and an excellent ham. "

I'm sure they enjoy carrying the big bottle of champagne and a ham home on the subway, especially if everyone in the building does the same. "Where the fuck am I supposed to put all this ham?" Especially when you can buy ham for 99 cents a pound or less this time of year.

"I give each doorman $250 for the holidays with a big bottle of champagne and an excellent ham. "

Never happened.

Not everyone deserves a tip, particularly if someone was particularly unhelpful.

I cut out the super one year because he was an asshole to me. After he realized that being an ass has consequences, he suddenly became nice. Then I joined the coop board and squeezed the fuck out of his lazy ass so he worked fucking hard

In 2018, it was my first Christmas as a concierge. I had been at the job since August, so my co-workers told me I may not get 'too much' for Christmas as I haven't really developed a relationship with the tenants yet, so they may just give a token gift or nothing at all. He told me not to be disappointed, they all start that way. He was 100% right. He also told him he keeps a little notepad, and every year he writes down the resident's name and how much they gave (or what they gave - such as a gift card, liquor, etc). If someone's name is not on his pad, it means they gave nothing. He would 'reflect' on that throughout the year coming up, when someone needed something from him while he was on duty (he said this with a 'wink' and I knew exactly what he meant). At the time, he had been there for 14 years. He was giving me great advice.

So now, when someone calls the desk and needs something done 'in a hurry', I check my notepad and go over the past five years or so...though I don't need to, since I have most tenants memorized. That's the determination on whether they will get 'hurried' attention. (We all do this now). If their 'grubhub' gets dropped off into the lobby , I'll make sure I bring it up to their floor in a couple of minutes if they remembered me at Christmas. Otherwise, it may take more than an hour since 'I'm busy at the desk' (they have the option of coming downstairs to pick it up themselves - but they're too lazy). Groceries from Instacart left in the lobby can take up to two or three hours if you don't tip, so best not to order frozen foods from Whole Foods.

[quote]I cut out the super one year because he was an asshole to me. After he realized that being an ass has consequences, he suddenly became nice. Then I joined the coop board and squeezed the fuck out of his lazy ass so he worked fucking hard

Trump calls this his 'revenge list' once he returns to power. Congratulations to you.

I should point out I'm R4 who wrote R54

R54, that takes too much mental energy

[Quote] Trump calls this his 'revenge list' once he returns to power. Congratulations to you.

The super was shitty.

R57 It's not a job anyone can do. You have to protect yourself from being taken advantage of in this kind of job. Tenants think they 'own' you.

I ended up going with $50 each.

Our building also has a general Holiday fund that gets divided up. We do that with 500 and then just a few 100 dollar gift cards to a few long terms guys who know us by name or have done a little extra throughout the year. So around 1,000 total.

Rule of thumb don't shit where you eat. Often times guards have your back if they like you. Anything from working around the locked package system to find a missing package, walking a dog, fixing something simple in the unit to letting you know an unwanted guest is trying to meet you in the lobby. Otherwise they just do their job like officially outlined. We tip 20 for each time they walk the dog because it's not part of their job, they do it on their break time.

[quote]At one place we invited the super to a Christmas cocktail party at our place. A female friend ended up staying the night at his place.

That Snyder always did have a way with women.

At NYU law, one female student thought it customary to blow the doorman in D'Ag Hall....