Can Gwyneth Paltrow save Goop with a bold new vaginal product?

ew

[quote] Can Gwyneth Paltrow save Goop with a bold new vaginal product?

Only if it can make her stinky pussy smell better.

These are extremely sad news!

Well I sure hope she doesn't advertise it here.

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Jade eggs for a vagina, a candle there,

That smells like my puss, sniff if you dare

I wish her [italic]hemoroidów[/italic] !

(that´s polish for "well")

Well Martha's cootch smells like mothballs.

Oh no! Where will wealthy white women purchase their $66 snatch stones or their $75 coochie candles from now?

RFK is going to make her the head of the new Federal Alternative Medicine In Loopy Yayaland agency (FAMILY)? Caught tuberculosis? Now that vaccines are banned? Here's an ivermectin/vagina-scented candle and stick it in your TWAT.

Imagine paying $100k for an education to end up writing something like this.

She looks really bad in that picture. That also looks like a healing needle prick above her lip. Filler?

She does look bad there. She looks haggard and in need of fronts.

[quote]Can Gwyneth Paltrow save Goop with a bold new vaginal product?

Isn't her vagina tired and old at this point?

She varies but it says something that a woman who sells beauty products and healthcare looks strange at times, mostly oily and red.

Who gave her the complex about having a rancid cunt? Blythe?

horse teeth, dear God

She looks bad because she’s fair-skinned and has spent the last four decades literally baking herself in the sun. She has said before that she doesn’t believe in using sunscreen. She is going to be one haggard looking old bitch if she makes it that far.

Who told her that she has a stinky pussy? Get some boric acid capsules. They're pretty cheap and work. My man prefers me natural because the capsules obliterate every bit of scent.

I can smell your nappy pussy.

[quote] Who told her that she has a stinky pussy? Get some boric acid capsules. They're pretty cheap and work. My man prefers me natural because the capsules obliterate every bit of scent.

But even those don't work on you, Cheryl.

Interesting story about Gwyneth. But who’s the woman in OP’s pic?

Why doesn't she just sell a lost wax cast of her vagina with a king cake type figurine embedded inside. (Maybe a little tiny Brad Pitt?)

Luxury market is shrinking.

Mother was too busy working to teach me to hose out my cunt.

I'm doing of candles. So far we've got Royal Stench and Harry's Balls.

She looks like a young Jan Brady!

Somehow, I think she'll be ok.

I heard she is adding a Yoni steaming system to her Spring 2025 line of GOOP being sold at CB2....... Certain stores are going to have pop ups where you can get your Yoni steamed......

She's a true Nepo Baby/Celebrity Medical Expert double threat!

If you had a wife, would you buy this for her pussy?

Incidentally, I recently learned that the UK turned Gwyneth's Utah skiing accident trial with the retired optometrist from a few years ago into a parody musical.

I wonder what she thinks?

As R14 points out, she's always been rather raggedy-looking for a woman who's so pathologically obsessed with self-care and wellness bs.

Not-so-great hair and skin. I remember thinking as much when I saw her in the opening scene of Contagion, and that was 13 years ago.

R17 another reason is probably her diet. Does she still follow a macrobiotic diet (same as Madonna's, btw)? Back when she was was still married to Chris Martin, I recall reading a gossip news article describing how she went with her family to an Italian restaurant and didn't order anything except steamed vegetables.

Just FYI GOOP has excellent tinted lip balms.

For the upper or lower lips, R33?

Bold and brash?

R32 I think there’s a lot of misinformation about her diet. I have read many times that she is vegan. Almost every cooking video of her features her making chicken.

Doesn’t she enjoy 🚬?

She smokes (claims one cigarette a week) and drinks. It has shown up on her face.

One a week? HA. More like after every meal.

Gwyneth won't test on animals, but I've consented to be her test pussy.

Let it fail so badly that she eats her feelings and gains a ton of weight.

I feel like people have moved on from her since she’s in her 50’s now and really doesn’t look that good. I’m sure she will always have her devoted followers, but people are fickle and move on,

Oh for God’s sake, Gwenyth, make a crystal dildo and shove it!

Embarassing.

The Guardian is really plumbing the depths that was more Reddit post than article. Appalling.

R40 Paltrow isn’t concerned about animals.

And no, she isn’t vegan. Chicken isn’t vegan. She’s just a fur and leather wearing asshole.

R47 In other words, traditional American values.