Is there anyone who is truly happy?

I am truly happy, OP.

Fuck off, Teacake.

Happiness is a choice - choose it.

Yes.

I haven't been truly happy since everyone I loved died. My dog makes me happy and a beautiful day is great. I own my own home and that gives me comfort. I'm old and you take what you can get. Nothing lasts forever for us mortals. A good song is uplifting. It's the little things, OP.

[quote] Happiness is a choice - choose it.

It's not really a choice for some people who suffer from profound depression. This kind of lecturing and "bumper sticker talk" doesn't help.

A friend of mine always insisted that you can choose how you feel and I always said no, you can only feel how you DO feel, but you can choose what you do about it.

It’s surprisingly hard for me to choose to look on the bright side. I wallow and overthink a lot. But a good long walk can fix a lot of that.

You have no idea, r6.

Just leave me $.02 in the tip jar on your way out.

Happy? Not sure

Pretty satisfied

I always return to The Oatmeal who has a great cartoon about happy/sad bullshit.

His point is that happiness and sadness are of equal value and come and go. The most important thing is to be interested.

I’m on mobile and I’m not looking for a link on this tablet. Look it up. Then, rent City Slickers to see the year and movie that made me hate Billy Crystal.

I always feel happy when I listen to I Am the Walrus by The Beatles. I think that was their mission.

I'm slaphappy💊 Pills, baby!

Clichés endure for a reason. These are the ones that got me happy:

1. Play the hand you've been dealt.

2 Comparison is the true thief of joy.

3. Happiness is an inside job.

4. Two tears in a bucket, and muthafuckit.

Yes but they killed him and his buddy Fred for lack of proper paperwork

I did not have a particularly happy childhood. I struggled in my early 20s and I have worked very, very hard throughout my life. But I can tell you , OP, that I am truly happy. Life is what you make of it.

Once I was out drinking with a good friend of mine who told me she believed no one came from a happy family. "Everyone we know came from a dysfunctional family, or was abused, or molested, or abandoned! Everyone has a horror story!" I replied, "There are thousands of people who came from happy families and had healthy childhoods. They just don't hang out with [italic]us."[/italic]

Damaged people are drawn together because we get each other and are more prepared to deal with each other's idiosyncrasies. Mentally and emotionally healthy people generally avoid us, with good reason.

Truly happy? I think Elon Musk is truly happy -- in his own mind, his own bubble.

Anyone without conscience is probably truly happy.

Happiness is an option, as the Pet Shop Boys said many years ago. Nothing MAKES you happy. Happiness comes from the inside and how you view the world. And happiness doesn't mean grinning from ear to ear, beaming rays of sunshine constantly. Happiness is contentment, gratitude for what you have - and it's usually the smallest things. It's a choice to acknowledge those smaller things. And as you do, you find other things to be grateful for, and it's exponential. And of course happiness doesn't mean you won't be sad. But the muscle memory you gain from seeking out happiness will carry you through those sad times and help put them in perspective.

Whereas I do believe learning how to be happy for yourself is important - I also believe the pursuit of the idea "ultimate happiness" in your life is an illusion and its overrated. Your personal happiness above all else shouldn't be a goal, but rather an outcome.

Instead of feeling sad for yourself for what you've gone through, be immensely proud of yourself for having survived it - even if it still clings to you, you got through it. That is strength. It is not easy, but Happiness is always an option.

R3 No, it isn't

There's always some sort of bratty, pouty, petulance in people like r19. Life never turns out as we imagine, and is largely a casino. It's up to us to accept things for what they are and generate whatever happiness we can from that. Some of the happiest people I've met have nothing and have had horrific things happen to them like extreme poverty, disease, abuse, and unimaginable loss.

And for some, it's easier to have a familiar hellscape that they know rather than escape it, mistaking victimhood for absolution of personal responsibility for your happiness.

Or you could just be lazy and don't want to do the work, which never ends.

I have also learned that some people define themselves by their pain. Their pain becomes their personality. And to seek a way out of their pain and find happiness would be tantamount to losing who they are as a person. So they'd rather say happiness is impossible for them.

Enjoy the happy moments, for they are short.

Strive for contentment.

The happy ones just quietly get on with their lives and are content with the simple things. It's the unhappy ones who make all the noise, create drama and demand attention.

I cant recall ever waking up happy. It seems to get better as the day goes on. I have General Anxiety Disorder which I didnt take as a real illness. But I guess i pushed myself so hard not to be the introvert I am, in order to make something of myself. I was constantly exhausted. So I guess i was told being ME wasnt righr, be different..and it worked to make me a success but Ive never known HAPPY. I try really hard. I also end up feeling worse about my affecting others around me with my low mood and its more exhausting pretending im ok. Im told i dont have depression, its just who i am. I actually liked lockdown. People doing stupid stuff online like dancing in their living room annoy me..how are they so carefree?

I am truly happy, doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days (or weeks) but I’m always and have always been the happiest person for miles. I think I was born this way. My mother and great grandmother were the same way. But my grandparents on her side were stern and unhappy.

So don’t beat yourself up if you’re depressed or not prone to happiness. It’s not necessarily your fault.

But happiness rubs off on others..I can attest to that. It’s contagious, if only temporarily. so if you meet someone happy don’t dim their light, a lot of people try to do that to me.

Instead, You should let their happiness rub off on you instead.

I come from parents who hated me(I was a lemon i.e. gay), I was socially awkward in school horrible in gym and mocked, I have thick ethnic features and lost my hair at 18. I am trapped in a section 8 apartment and poor. I am always alone(surprise.) Did I choose any of this? Do I wish I had never been born? Guess.

Probably not. No one can be sure they made all the 'right' choices in life.

I think some people care a lot less, so they're likely happier at least on the surface.

But we all experience knockbacks, rejection, death of loved ones, stress, etc. That's just part of life.

What about the rich??

r27 makes a good point. I think it's about figuring out our own personal paths to being fulfilled, resilient, and content in the face of life's inevitable ups and downs.

R24 the best advice I can give you is what my grandfather told me (although he is not the one who originally said it). But, you wouldn't care so much what other people thought about you if you only realized how little they did.

That's sounds harsh. But it's not. It doesn't mean people don't care about you. It means that most everyone is in their own head thinking about themselves - usually thinking about how other people perceive them. They don't notice all of the things you think they do. They don't notice 80% of who you think yourself to be. They aren't wrapped up in how YOU are affecting them. You have to crash really hard through someone's perception to get under their skin. So when you are thinking people being affected by the nuances of your mood, that's you thinking they are, that's not the truth. And you are not responsible for someone else's emotions.

And you don't have to be someone else other than what you are - as is with most people. You don't have to become someone else to be accepted. I would imagine most of your anxiety comes from the difference between who think you are as a person vs. what you want others to think you are. But that's on you, because most people aren't paying that close of attention to you.

I always knew this, but oddly enough it struck home in a funny way. I had to wear suits to a particular job. There was one I wore all the time because it was my favorite. But this particular day I felt fat in it, awkward. I felt it fit too tight. It was like the fifth time I wore it without dry cleaning it, so I felt kinda sloppy. I was standing next to a coworker who I had worn that suit in front of at least thirty times. She looks at me and says, "Is that a new suit? It looks nice on you." And I thought, you have seen this suit at least a months worth of days on me before and I feel like shit in it today. I realized, people really don't see all the little tiny shit you fuss over about yourself, because they are in their head doing the exact same thing with themselves. In a way, we are all pretty much invisible to each other compared to the laser focus we have on ourselves. When you realize that, it's freeing. So let it go.

At least you have internet R26 and either a smart phone or a laptop and a place to come and express your feelings - which means you get to live a certain lifestyle. And you have the liberty to reflect on and assess your life, which is a privilege. There are 8 billion people in the world and with that, you already ahead of 7 billion of them. That's hitting the fucking lottery of life. You didn't chose the things you have gone through. But you are choosing how they affect your life.

I love in a old duplex that I rent, a job that pays wages that these days keep me lower middle class but have four wonderful cats and am able to travel somewhat regularly and I'm pretty happy.

Is one a big red teddy bear 🧸 cat who thinks he’s a golden retriever? Is another an eensy little black girl-angel-fiend with a heart of gold?

Yes.

I think I'd be truly happy if my family were all dead - or at least not connected to me in any way. Left to my own, I have a happy little life, but I can't seem to get them to stop including me in stuff. They are deplorable people.

Money can't buy you love, said the Beatles, and I say money can't make you happy.

R20 I'm positive that those happiest people weren't born with a depression, you ass-wipe

r20, I'm positive some of them were very depressed after losing children, being raped, getting AIDS, etc..

The difference between you and me is you're speculating, no matter how "positive" you are.

And fuck you for not even trying.

What I’ve learned in life is that most of us are never truly happy, or don’t know what exactly will make us truly happy. It’s all relative to the choices we make, and some choices are made for us, such as if you grow up in poverty. It took me a long time to start thinking about what makes me happy right now, or in the moment, as a means to realize my life doesn’t suck the way I usually think it does. My life could be worse. So could everyone’s.

Every family is crazy.

Not here dear.

Some people seem to have grand plans that are unrealistic, but they still get disappointed and feel like a failure if they don't come to fruition. Sometimes the pressure they place on themselves is because they want to appear more successful to other people.

I live in the town I was raised in and I like it here. Some would ask why I didn't move to a big city and have some amazing high flying job, but I'm happy where I am. I like the solitude of the country, I like being near family and friends (luckily I'm close to the former and none of them are crazy), I have a well paid job and I'm comfortably off. For me that's enough.

I get it's not for everyone; many would find my life boring and love the hustle and bustle of the city, whereas I find that would just stress me out.

[quote]is there anyone who had a normal family that wasn’t crazy, didn’t have a traumatic childhood, doesn’t wish that their life could have been different?

Happy people don't generally devote a lot of time stewing in what might have beens. They live in the present and the near future.

[quote] "Everyone we know came from a dysfunctional family, or was abused, or molested, or abandoned! Everyone has a horror story!" I replied, "There are thousands of people who came from happy families and had healthy childhoods. They just don't hang out with us."

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read on DL, R16!! Thanks for the laugh.

And speaking of worrying about what other people think/say about you, I used to say, "I don't care what people say about me behind my back -- it's what they have the nerve to say to my goddamned [bold]face[/bold] that bothers me!"

That said, I wouldn't say I'm "happy," but I am content. I have everything I need and a motorcycle I really love. I have my little dog, who will be 16 in December. I have a roof over my head, and while I live surrounded by Deplorables, the area I live in is beautiful, especially considering how little I paid for my land/trailer. And last but not least, I have led a truly interesting and exciting life, so much so that more than a few people have told me I should write an autobiography. It's a lot to look back on. I've lived the quote, [italic]“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!'”[/italic]

And that's something to be grateful for.

I can say I'm happy - and the reason I know is that I have experienced real misery in the past, so I've got something to compare it with. No I'm not deliriously happy all the time, nobody can be like that unless under the influence of substances. But I'm content and have regular moments and times of joy. I aint rich but I have enough for a good used car, and a share in a home in a really good suburb, cant ask for more than that.

When you've gone through hell a few times you instantly recognise heaven when you see it

Well said, R45!