As soon as Greg McDonald Jr. saw his parents, he knew he was in trouble. His father stood waiting for him with his arms folded and his brow furrowed. Beside him was Greg’s mother, her eyes red and puffy.
“Quick, pretend you’re interested in me,” Greg Jr. told his friend Betsy as he steered the speedboat toward the dock at his parents’ riverfront home outside Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Greg Jr. had just taken a group of friends out for a rollicking boat ride. It was late in the summer of 2001, and he was about to head off to his first year of college. In just a few weeks the 17-year-old thought he’d be free.
But while Greg Jr. was away his father, a conservative Christian, had checked his computer’s search history. He’d heard stories of young men being corrupted by the internet and had discovered his son’s secret: visits to gay porn sites.
As Greg Jr. stepped off the boat with his friends, his father looked sternly at the group. “You need to leave,” he said to the other teens.
Once they were alone, the father turned toward his son.
“Are you—?” he asked.
“Yes, I am,” Greg Jr. said, cutting his father off as he walked past his parents toward their house.
“You could be an axe murderer, and we would always love you,” his father called out after him. “But we need to get you fixed.”
You may think you know what happened next. Greg Jr. prayed to God for deliverance. Pastors condemned him. Church members shunned him. Longtime friends disappeared, and he wrestled with shame because he felt like he had failed God and disobeyed the Bible.
But that’s not what happened to Greg Jr. That’s what happened to his parents, Greg Sr. and Lynn McDonald.
Their son’s admission would send the McDonalds on a journey that forced them to make agonizing choices about their faith and family. They would be thrust into the middle of a hidden crisis afflicting the conservative Christian community. And how they responded to their son’s admission would mushroom into a scandal — one that prompted two of the most prominent evangelical pastors in America to publicly question each other’s faith.
What triggered all these events was one fateful decision: After their son came out, the McDonalds went into their own closet.