Let's be Canada 🍁

I'm the politeness.

I'm sorry too eh?

The USA could not ask for a better neighbor than Canada.

I am the the bilingual signs. / Je suis les panneaux bilingues.

I am 'Coffee Crisp'

I’m sore-y.

I'm Toronto cunts, which are a special breed of cunt — especially the ones who move to NY.

I'm sorry for the Toronto cunts.

I don’t know anything aboat it.

I’m a timmies

Toronter cunts

I'm Christine "Moose" McGlade.

I'm the smug woman on a trip to Mt. Vesuvius who asked an interesting question of the tour guide and, when complimented on the relevance, responded, "That's because I'm Canadian."

I'm William Murdoch

Let’s Be Canadians- DULL

Let’s Be French Canadians- DULL and OBNOXIOUS

I’m the Canadian flag that I stick on my backpack in case anybody thinks that I’m American.

I’m the cottage with a superficially jokey but deadly serious binder of rules that you have to follow. I’m on a lake in Northern Ontario that is so cold no American would willingly swim in it even on the hottest day of July. I have exactly one very temperamental toilet. My owners think I’m Manderley.

r16 funny you should mention that. Years ago I bought a Canadian flag luggage tag (I'm not Canadian), I used it primarily to be able to quickly identify my luggage, the added bonus was people thinking I may be Canadian and not a citizen of the USA.

I’m angry queer people of colour, convinced they live in the most horrible country on earth.

r17 my family has a cottage in Northern Ontario, outside North Bay. And it's been unbearably hot the past few summers.

I’m King Charles, who will be dead before he replaces his mother on the 20 dollar bill.

I’m BLM in Canada. I’m going to be angry because the Americans are angry… but there’s really no reason for my existence here.

I'm a box of tidbits I'm eating with this guy

I'm the lovely Megan Follows, the only Anne of Green Gables.

I'm happy because we don't have Trump and his evil minions.

I’m the smug racist promoting the guise that Canada is the greatest country in the world.

I'm Today's Special.

I'm the hockey museum.

I'm Michael J. Fox.

I'm Ryan Reynolds.

I'm Alanis.

I’m the Palestine worship.

I'm Tim Horton's Coffee. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

I'm Kraft Dinner

I’m Eric McCormack ( who now sadly looks like John Waters) Maybe he could do ‘’The John Waters Story’’? after all he likes playing gay characters.

I'm k.d. lang.

I'm the nude beach at Hanlan's Point.

I'm The October Crisis

I am Caitlin from Degrassi and I AM NOT A LEZZIE!!

I am Sol the clown teaching French

I am Paul Poirier, the Canadian hottie nobody knows about.

I'm the vastly underrated Group of Seven painters.

I'm Pierre Trudeau, the most consequential Prime Minister in Canada's history, and forever haunting every Conservative's nightmares!!

YOU'LL NEVER ERASE MY LEGACY, BITCHES!!!!

To us Europeans they are just USA light.

I'm the other Pierre. Poliverre, bitches, and I'm going to be the next PM.

[quote] I am Caitlin from Degrassi and I AM NOT A LEZZIE!!

I'm the nationwide shock when Caitlin said FUCK in the original Degrassi movie finale.

R43: Only because my eldest boy wants to surpass me in office. Go home, Justin, Daddy is proud enough.

We're Sharon, Lois, and Bram.

Fuck Seacrest, Fuck Cooper and Cohen.... I AM NEW YEAR'S EVE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Without me, there would be no celebration.

I’m the TIMbits that R23 is referring to.

You mean the vastly overrated Group of Seven painters. Yuk! Yuouj know who else i s overrated? Margaret Atwood. Give me Michel Tremblay any day!

Anne Murray. Also overrated.

Underrated: Joni Mitchell

I am any one of the CBC's sad attempts at sitcoms.

R39 I'm familiar Paul Poirier, and he's very lovely.

Im the Canadian that moved to Mexico. Two years later. I'm the Canadian that is so sick of this uncivilized noisy country where people just eat when they are hungry.

Can't he fuck Eric Lindros?

I'm Corner Gas!

I’m the Al-Can Highway and however long you may think I am when you read about me, I’m much, much longer and several times less interesting.

I really am in league with that dense, all-pervasive cloud of mosquitoes that never relents and that no one really believes in until I’ve drawn them right into it, too.

I’m still good for racking up bragging rights, though, if you want to sound like an intrepid traveler.

i'm the "great canadian bakeoff" which no ones care is on youtube.

I'm the outrageous personal income tax rates.

It's not that great here but it's better than a lot of other places.

STEP DOWN!- There’s still time to make Kamala President before election.

r1 The fake politeness and obsession with the USA all the while the USA doesn't give a damn about me.

I’m the assumption that we are obsessed with the US.

I'm the cheese curds barfed up after a long night on the town of Moose Piss

We’re the pipe lines. We go where we please because we’re more important than people.

I remember Sol! We watched his videos in my high school French class in the early 80's.

I'm poutine, Canada's culinary gift to the world.

[quote] I'm the outrageous personal income tax rates.

Still lower than the USA

I am the absolutely obsessive need to sprinkle Canadian factoids into Wikipedia articles that have nothing to do with me

r68 yes but did you know that Insulin was discovered by Canadians and that Ottawa is the world's second coldest capital after Ulan Bator and that Madonna's mother was of French Canadian descent?That when world war two ended, Canada was the world's greatest military power if you exclude all the countries whose name's start with 'U' (USA, UK and USSR)?

I’m 1949 the year I became complete.

I’m young, smiling and efficient immigration agents at Vancouver airport, standing at podiums and welcoming arrivals to Canada.

I am an effect, not a cause.

I’m Shawn Mendes, completely confused and still uncertain.

I'm the racism against Native Americans that continues to this day.

I am the Québécois accent, which is actually the accent that was spoken at Versailles. Yes, Louis XIV actually said 'L'état, çé moé!'

I’m the awful attitudes.

I’m the loonie!

I’m the 50 Helens who agree.

I'm the smugness.

I'm Tim Hortons and Canadian Tire. Icons of Canadian national identity where the workforce now is almost entirely Indian.

r62 That is a joke right??

[quote]where the workforce now is almost entirely Indian.

Same with the strip clubs in Montreal

[quote]I'm the racism against Native Americans that continues to this day.

And I’m the permanent chip on their shoulder.

I am Montreal. I am fucking gorgeous as are many of the men.

I’m Mississauga. Basically a giant suburb?

I'm SCTV.

I’m a loft apartment over a really great party.

“Keep it down, eh!?”

r62 actually, that would be the Brits.

r87 it's actually, as Robin Williams said, 'a really great apartment over a meth lab'

r88 Brits and Canadians are mutually obsessed about the USA-- it is not an assumption.

I'm Scott Thompson, high empress of the Canadian gays.

I'm trudeau's hot ass

I am a Montreal bagel.

I am the peameal bacon.

Which isn't really bacon.

I am the insanely hot customs agents and border guards.....or should I say border gods.....greeting all visitors to Canada.

If there is an HR director picking these hot young ex-military men to staff these positions, I believe that director's name is Kristen Bjorn!

I LOVE Canadia.

Ain't it somewhere near Erie, PA?

I'm Anne Murray, Canada's National Treasure.

And I look so sexy in my blue blazer and dangly earrings!

I’m the passive aggression.

R97- Not SO sexy

SO DYKEY

Some examples please r95. It's been a while since I've been to Canada.

Not R95, but here's their website (Canada Border Security).

[quote][R97]- Not SO sexy

[quote]SO DYKEY

Dykey? Me? What are you talking about?

I’m Dudley Do-Right!

I am a bunch of drunken students belting this out as the bars close in Halifax

r96 About 90 minutes away!

I'm Denny Doherty, who deserved more credit than he got.

I am Canada's little sparrow! RITA MACNEIL!!!

I'm a weekend at the lovey Fairmont in Banff.

I’m all the Québécois surnames found in New England and Michigan.

I’m K.D. Lange’s “Hymns Of The 49th Parallel”

[quote]Brits and Canadians are mutually obsessed about the USA

No, it’s just there. We aren’t obsessed with it. It’s your way to think everyone is obsessed with you and everything to do with you.

I am Celine Dion.

I'm k.d. lang, coming here to "Oh, dear" R110.

I'm nervous as fuck for my neighbor's election

R113 Oops

I'm Montreal smoked meat.

I'm the 30 Helens.

R95: You rang?

NSFW, I'd imagine.

I am the best Bagel and Pastrami anywhere - in Montreal!

I'm a Montréal stripper inviting you to smoke my meat.

No self-respecting Jew eats pastrami on a bagel. Oy vey!

R118 Yesssss!

Yeah, pastrami goes on rye bread.

R121 I did not say pastrami ON a bagel! Both bagels and pastrami are excellent in Montreal.

You did not make that distinction. Do Better!

Oy gevalt.

We're Cathy with a C and Kathy with a K.

We are never switching to decaf!

I'm an officious milquetoast no fun zone.

I’m Roots.

I'm beautiful uncut Canadian cock.

Lots of Canadian men are cut.

The hot ones aren’t.

I don't think she's tremendous!

I am the sense of dread and despair regarding our southern neighbour tonight.

I'm the gif of the guy peering out from his curtains at his neighbours while eating a bag of chips.

Canada be forewarned. I'm hearing a lot of talk about a gang with enough fetanyl to make 95 million lethal doses, and with a Ford in charge in Ontario, you can expect rightwing skulduggery.

Pastrami on a bagel sounds delicious. But of course rye is …

Do Cananadians suffer ergot poisoning from all the rye?

I've been waiting years for my Canadian marriage proposal that never seems to come. They are fickle bitches up there.

And also frigid

And also dishonest and just as prone to conservative madness as Americans in blue states.