I’m mutton dressed as slutty lamb.
Let’s Be an Eldergay Halloween Party
by Anonymous | reply 100 | November 3, 2024 11:22 AM |
I'm Joel, and I'm only here because my neighbour promised to buy me the switch 2 when it comes out.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 23, 2024 3:45 AM |
I'm crunchy munchy
by Anonymous | reply 2 | October 23, 2024 3:57 AM |
I’m the plastic skeleton someone puts in mother’s rocking chair, complete with dowdy dress and granny wig.
We are NOT amused!
by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 23, 2024 4:16 AM |
I'm a young obese Elton John. I cannot breathe because my D cup boobs are squashed down.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | October 23, 2024 4:39 AM |
I'm a 75 year old in a pigtail wig and a gingham dress. I'll only respond to Dorothy tonight.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 23, 2024 5:23 AM |
I'm the queen who comes dressed as the ancient, post-stroke Bette Davis.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | October 23, 2024 5:44 AM |
I’m Chuck, slathered in cold cream and red lipstick, once again donning that old bathrobe and wielding a now quite rusty wire hanger he’s had since 1981.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 23, 2024 7:39 AM |
The only Trick here is the one Brad brought as his plus one.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 23, 2024 8:44 AM |
I’m the orange and black caftan bought exclusively for the occasion.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 23, 2024 9:15 AM |
R8 Brad, meanwhile, is happy to be everyone’s Treat.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | October 23, 2024 9:16 AM |
Joel/R1 - you're in your thirties now mate!
by Anonymous | reply 11 | October 23, 2024 9:22 AM |
I'm at home in bed.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | October 23, 2024 9:23 AM |
I’m the many cases of clap that will result from one of the “tricks” who “treated” 38 party goers in the course of two hours.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | October 23, 2024 9:27 AM |
I’m the intense scrutiny of the low effort Trick-or-Treaters costumes.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | October 23, 2024 11:38 AM |
I'm the one who brought refrigerated profiteroles to hand out to the children trick or treating.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | October 23, 2024 12:59 PM |
I'm the one who gives them apples.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | October 23, 2024 1:14 PM |
I’m going to the party dressed only in a white towel- so I can relive my heyday ca. 1977 when everyone desired me at the bathhouse .
by Anonymous | reply 17 | October 23, 2024 1:17 PM |
I’m the Gone with the Wind characters.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | October 23, 2024 1:19 PM |
I've organized the horror movie lineup: Baby Jane, Sweet Charlotte, and Lady in a Cage. If there's time, we'll squeeze in Strait-Jacket or Trog.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | October 23, 2024 1:22 PM |
I'll come naked. No costume is scarier than that in my current shape.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | October 23, 2024 1:24 PM |
I'm in tears because nine other queens showed up as Joan Crawford too.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | October 23, 2024 1:25 PM |
I’m Barbra Streisand in Hello, Dolly!
by Anonymous | reply 22 | October 23, 2024 1:32 PM |
I saw it in the window and just couldn’t resist it!
(Referring to a blow-up doll in a closing sex toy store)
by Anonymous | reply 23 | October 23, 2024 3:08 PM |
I’m the champagne cocktails served in Mother’s vintage coupe glasses. Please be careful of me!
by Anonymous | reply 24 | October 23, 2024 9:18 PM |
I'm the earrings
by Anonymous | reply 25 | October 23, 2024 9:19 PM |
I'm the CAFTANS!
by Anonymous | reply 26 | October 23, 2024 9:19 PM |
I'm 65 mistaken for 25.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | October 23, 2024 9:20 PM |
I’m wrapped in aluminum foil…I’m a baked potato
by Anonymous | reply 30 | October 23, 2024 10:53 PM |
I'm 17, R11!!
by Anonymous | reply 31 | October 23, 2024 11:34 PM |
Let's just get them all out of the way: priests, nuns, cheerleaders, slutty superhero outfits, gladiators, pup cosplay and construction workers.
I'm the older gay with the priest collar - I call myself Father O'Fondlin' - I believe it gives me the right to feel up (i.e. sexually assault) everyone at the party.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | October 23, 2024 11:45 PM |
I’m the no recreational drugs except marijuana policy. Eldergays are smart.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 23, 2024 11:50 PM |
I'm Matt, the 25 year old Gen Z twunk who was hired to be a stripper / entertainer for the party. I'm literally triggered from all these old gay guys staring at my naked body and trying to talk to me. Yuck! I just keep my head down and look at my Tik Tok. One old guy (he had to literally be 40 at least!) came up to me and told me he used to be a stripper at gay parties, and made lots of money by letting the guests touch his dick and ass. He said I should mingle with the crowd and let them pinch my ass or touch my dick so I can make at least few hundred extra dollars. Like, literally eww ! Get away from me grandpa ! I'm not going anywhere near these guys who are like 40 and older. Like, I have to call my best friend Megs right now ! Like literally right now !
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 24, 2024 12:27 AM |
I'm Avery the 26 year old twunk invited by Colin the 57 year old who lives in the neighborhood and i'm in a Daddylicious heaven! they sure are bitchy but I'm just so excited that I can work out all of my daddy issues with every single one of these elders
by Anonymous | reply 35 | October 24, 2024 12:31 AM |
I'm dressed as a funhouse mirror so you can all marvel in your own handsome, youthful reflection.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | October 24, 2024 12:44 AM |
I'm dressed as a can of LaCroix sparkling water. All night I swan around, pointing at my chest, yelling, "LACROIX, SWEETIE, LACROIX!"
All the eldergays are in stitches.
Everyone under 40 smiles nervously because they don't get the joke.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | October 24, 2024 1:07 AM |
I’m three Ethels without a Lucy in sight.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 24, 2024 2:00 AM |
I'm the secret hidden camera in the Econolodge room. I didn't sign up for this!
by Anonymous | reply 39 | October 24, 2024 2:24 AM |
I’m the candy bowls emptying remarkably fast whenever Vernon passed them.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | October 24, 2024 2:34 AM |
I'm the bottle of 'Blue Chew' being passed around from guy to guy. Suddenly they're all springing an erection pointing at the twunk stripper Matt, who looks at each one and says, "Ewwww! Cringe!"
by Anonymous | reply 41 | October 24, 2024 2:46 AM |
I'm 1993 Barbra Streisand from my 'Back to Broadway' look. And here comes another Joan Rivers, who I call Joan Molinsky for authenticity.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | October 24, 2024 2:48 AM |
I’m no black people except young grifters like myself. Hehehehe
by Anonymous | reply 43 | October 24, 2024 2:50 AM |
I am the tray of plain pop-tarts frosted to look like tombstones, and the plastic tarantula pressed into one side of the cheeseball.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | October 24, 2024 3:05 AM |
I'm the alarming low level of vodka.
Plenty of beer and whiskey - but never enough vodka.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | October 24, 2024 3:27 AM |
[quote] I’m no black people except young grifters like myself. Hehehehe—Prince-Akeem
Christ, but you ruin every thread, shithead.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | October 24, 2024 3:32 AM |
I’m the fraus from next door who gatecrash and ruin the mood.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | October 24, 2024 4:06 AM |
R45, we don't know the same party hosts. That is always in abundance with my elder gays
by Anonymous | reply 48 | October 24, 2024 7:24 AM |
I’m the Spirit Halloween animatronic that never fails to make Bertram shriek like a girl whenever it pops up.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | October 24, 2024 7:59 AM |
I’m the smell of White Diamonds, hemorrhoid cream, and crotch rot coming from the host of the party as he prances through each room seeking compliments and praise for another “incredible event”.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | October 24, 2024 8:07 AM |
R34 I'm Matt dying in a grease fire.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | October 24, 2024 2:24 PM |
R34 I'm the bitter jealous rancid DL eldergay piss not wasted to extinguish Matt.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | October 24, 2024 2:28 PM |
I'm R34's Social Security check that does not begin to cover the cost of touching Matt's youthful rock hard fully funtional cock.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | October 24, 2024 2:36 PM |
I’m a whore and if you’re not careful, I’ll have you all arrested for sex trafficking me!
by Anonymous | reply 54 | October 24, 2024 2:42 PM |
I'm Mrs Cramer who lives 3 doors away. I'll be spending the party peering through the curtains, and telling trick or treaters in no uncertain terms "to avoid that house..."
by Anonymous | reply 55 | October 24, 2024 2:56 PM |
I'm Fran Lebowitz, who was right when she said all the witty and clever gays died from AIDS and all that was left were the dregs.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | October 24, 2024 3:50 PM |
R56 the closet case in point
by Anonymous | reply 57 | October 24, 2024 3:58 PM |
r57 is proof.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | October 24, 2024 3:59 PM |
I’m the old queen dressed as Eve Arden. Everyone thinks I’m either Shelley Winters or Judy Holliday.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | October 26, 2024 3:44 PM |
R60 - Oh honey, with that ample figure of yours people are thinking Shelley Winters or Shirley Booth at best
by Anonymous | reply 61 | October 26, 2024 11:40 PM |
I’m the three bitter Patsys.
Ivanka is on the drinks table - astroturf with a tiny golf flag and an even tinier tombstone.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | October 27, 2024 12:24 AM |
I’m the ex boyfriends who show up as Krystle and Alexis. Everyone wishes the pool had lily pads.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | October 27, 2024 4:33 AM |
I'm the the jack o' lantern, obligatory quiche. They couldn't drive drunk to Papa Murphys so they retrieved me from the deep freeze and then, gave me a pepperoni face.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | October 27, 2024 5:18 AM |
I’m the one guy actually dressed as a man.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | October 27, 2024 8:00 AM |
I'm the 'Slutty Olympic Diver" costume. I am four yards of nylon and frankly need to contemplate my life choices.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | October 27, 2024 1:59 PM |
I’m Scott’s hairy ass! Sexy 25 years ago? Yes. Anyway, my saddlebags are extra bouncy because of the jock straps. Please note the spillover of backfat from the waistband. Scott can’t see it. You’re allowed to bump into it.
“No sitting, Scott! You can sit on a crate.”
by Anonymous | reply 67 | October 27, 2024 3:21 PM |
I’m having the time of my life because I don’t give a fuck what the young queers think, do or say
by Anonymous | reply 68 | October 27, 2024 3:26 PM |
I'm coming wrapped head to toe in plastic wrap. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to be Cher or Madonna.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | October 27, 2024 4:00 PM |
I’m the former drag queen in full Tallulah Bankhead mode. The three Ethels all fight to be called “Ethel Mae” and talk about “The Little Foxes.”
by Anonymous | reply 70 | October 27, 2024 4:09 PM |
[quote] I’m the one guy actually dressed as a man.
Oh honey, dressing as Barnabas Collins doesn't count.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | October 27, 2024 11:43 PM |
I'm the towels placed on all the chairs and sofas because while the host is not exactly sure how it will happen someone will be bare ass at some point and their will be skid marks...
by Anonymous | reply 72 | October 28, 2024 1:46 AM |
I’m the painful reminder about the Netflix “tales of the city” series
by Anonymous | reply 73 | October 28, 2024 2:18 AM |
I’m the “botox and/or filler?” discussion that blends in with the separate “what mood stabilizer works with your addiction?”discussion
by Anonymous | reply 74 | October 28, 2024 2:40 AM |
I the very eldergay guest who also wishes everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's because, well, you never know.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | October 28, 2024 2:43 AM |
I'm the shy one whose drinking, too much. I don't care which one of these clowns fucks me, as long as he's dressed like an actual clown.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | October 28, 2024 3:12 AM |
I’m Dwight dressed as Winnifred Sanderson.
Again.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | October 28, 2024 3:22 AM |
I'm Blanche DuBois, and I won't shut the fuck up about Belle Reve or that queer dead husband of mine.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | October 28, 2024 3:35 AM |
I'm the OP Pinata opened with hundred of stabs of fondue forks.
What a mess.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | October 28, 2024 3:40 AM |
That wasn't a fucking pinata you daft old queens! FLUFFY!!! NOOOOOOOO!
by Anonymous | reply 80 | October 28, 2024 12:57 PM |
R80 “Oh, FLUFFY, FLUFFY, FLUFFY!”
by Anonymous | reply 82 | October 28, 2024 1:07 PM |
I'm the phrase, "How dare you?," post 1am I will be shrieked often...
by Anonymous | reply 83 | October 28, 2024 8:32 PM |
I’m the heated debate of who was more iconic among of the crop of celebs to have died this year.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | October 28, 2024 8:39 PM |
[quote] I’m the heated debate of who was more iconic among of the crop of celebs to have died this year.—Prince-Akeem
And a formerly fun thread is brought to a screeching halt.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | October 28, 2024 8:45 PM |
I’m Brad doing naughty things to the Jack-O-Lanterns.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | October 30, 2024 3:51 AM |
I’m Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | October 30, 2024 4:26 AM |
I’m Helen Lawson, and that’s ME, baby, remember.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | October 30, 2024 4:28 AM |
I’m the host couple already brainstorming Thanksgiving ideas in between Trick or Treaters.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | October 30, 2024 4:32 AM |
Going as a witchy woman with black pointed hat, long black dress and a frightening cackle.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | October 30, 2024 4:49 AM |
And I straw broom.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | October 30, 2024 4:51 AM |
[quote] I’m Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford.
Being Joan Crawford as Faye Dunaway would be fun.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | October 30, 2024 12:53 PM |
I'm Dick, the vampire. I mean a dick vampire.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | October 31, 2024 12:14 AM |
I am the white Eldergay's failed attempt to come as Diana Ross.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | October 31, 2024 12:26 AM |
^ Oh dear. The heat generated by those chafing thighs could set off a nuclear meltdown.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | October 31, 2024 12:54 PM |
We came in our $200-each-on-eBay Dunkings outfits and they threw us out.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | October 31, 2024 1:43 PM |
I came as myself but everyone thought I was Joe Biden. Oh, and happy Arbor Day.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | October 31, 2024 11:44 PM |
I’m the refusal to give candy to the heavy trick or treaters.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | November 2, 2024 2:47 PM |
I’m the host announcing it’s time to leave by bluntly telling you all “Thanks for going!”
by Anonymous | reply 99 | November 2, 2024 11:56 PM |
Im the leftover candy that everyone “couldn’t possibly” eat. I’ll be gone in an hour, devoured during the “Baby Jane” screening.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | November 3, 2024 11:22 AM |