Let's create a movie for Cynthias Nixon and Erivo to star in!

Featuring Lens as the Stank family's zany, bedbound non binary neighbour.

OK thread closed, OP. You've created the movie. Well done, marinated in savory snark. There's nothing more to say, is there.

Thank you, OP.

I'm laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face!

It's very good OP.

Oh, get a sense of humour, Rojo Caliente @R2!

Secrets And Lies (dir Judd Apatow)

In a remake of Mike Leigh's Oscar nominated movie from1996. Cynthia Nixon stars as Cynthia, a sad and lonely woman working in a factory and living with her resentful daughter Roxanne (Florence Pugh). Cynthia's brother Maurice (Matthew Broderick) and his wife Monica (Laverne Cox) have been trying for a baby without success. Their lives are changed when a young woman Hortense (Cynthia Erivo) begins a journey to find her birth mother who gave her up for adoption.

Sparks fly as the Purley family come to terms with their secrets and lies.

OP there is no beating your genius suggestion (thanks for the great much needed laugh!!) here’s an attempt though:

Oppression:

The year is 1887. Arivo plays Shavante a runaway slave. Whilst running in the forest she collides (quite literally) with Amy-May (Nixon) who is also running away from her loveless lavender marriage with Trey.

What ensues is four hours of verbal sparring between the two about who has it worse in life. Expect monologue after monologue after monologue filled with hysterical crying and jaw jutting expressions of indignity.

The debate concludes with Shavante and Amy-May realizing their love for each other and they head into the wilderness together as common law partners for life.

That sounds like a fantastic project for The Cynthias but more suited to off Broadway perhaps?

Remake of Some Like It Hot Arivo and Nixon are two Dumbo housewives who see a gang killing and need to flee the killers. They join a touring Blue Man Group bound for Utah, where they are mentored by fellow troupe member Jackie (Laverne C9x.) The gals pretend to be guys as much hilarity ensues, until the troupe's gay manager Bryce (Mathew Broderick) falls in love with Nixon and she doesn't know how to tell him she's a lesbian who has fallen in love with Arrvo.

The M-15 members get a glimpse of the gals on Tiktok and hightail it to Utah but make the big mistake of thinking this is a remake of Sister Act and shoot up a bunch of nuns. The nuns survive, singing "i will follow him:,: and makomg cookies for all, Trump acolytes drive the criminals to the Canadian border where they are given jobs as lumberjacks. Cynthis x 2 announce their love and are arrested for public indecency when they soul kiss over the rolling credits. i

It’s a travesty (and a sign of Arivo’s colossal overinflated ego) that Arivo essentially stole Jodie Comer’s role in the film version of Prima Facie. NOBODY can come close to Jodie’s performance, even Meryl.

The Green, the trans, and the ugly

R2 obviously doesn't remember the DL classic "Let's create a Jennifer Aniston film."

MICROS (d. Ava Duvernay, from a treatment by Meredith Talusan)

Ava Duvernay dips a toe into comedy with this tale of two professors of LGBTQA2S studies from different colleges who meet at a retreat on sacred Waswansipi land in Quebec.

Cara (Cynthia Nixon) and Ashtara (Cynthia Arivo) are immediately offended by the other (Cara finds Ashtara's blithe use of the phrase "skin a cat" to be dangerous to wildlife, while Ashtara thinks Cara's dangling earrings are cultural appropriation from the Ma'sai people of Africa). Each goes to the retreat host Zenibba (Murray Hill) to register accusations of microaggressions against the other.

Zenibba's verdict? Put them both in the same cabin for the remainder of the retreat! "You'll just have to find a way to get along, drop the micros, and work out a two-state solution," xe quips.

The two hate each other more than ever, and one day they get into a fight over a 29 and Me report: "It's mine!" "No, it's mine!"

That's when they discover they're identical twins — separated at birth! Ashtara was raised by their mother (Academy Award winner and mother of a trans child Jamie Lee Curtis) while Cara was raised by their father (Morgan Freeman). That's when they hatch a plan to switch places. But will their parents be able to tell these mischievous twins apart?

Gullible Travels

Thelma (Cynthia Nixon) and Louise (Cynthia Erivo) play a mismatched couple travelling around America grifting from unsuspecting businesses. Louise creates a racialised situation and Thelma offers her experience as a DEI consultant who can restore the good name of the business.

But their grift hits a snag when a Louise tries to embarrass the staff at Freya’s Tuck, an inclusive start up run by Freya Mind (Laverne Cox) that helps disadvantaged trans sex workers find their true selves