BARGAIN BIN ALERT: "Melania" flops bigly in first week book sales

[quote] The Times list is ten days old when it appears. Initial sales and back orders propelled “Melania” to number 1. But the momentum wasn’t there.

Does that explain the below-linked thread?

BEE BEst

R1 Yes, it does. As the article states, it has not reached #1 on USA TODAY, AMAZON, or BARNES & NOBLE. The data NYT releases is over a week old.

Wouldn’t a spoken word version be hilarious?

An audio book would be rather difficult to understand, if she is doing the speaking. She struggles with English - it would be a struggle to listen to it.

She can barely read and write, who wrote the book?

[quote] She can barely read and write

She got a genius residency and went to Arkitekt School!

That Trump University education is paying off bigly.

Trump outsourced his campaign logistics to Elon Musk (lol) and that troll didn’t think to buy up 10,000 copies to hand out at rallies.

She should package the book and her lovely Valentine’s Day necklace together!

She should include a small envelope with some authentic shaved pussy hair in the book - that will encourage the ol' MAGA geezers to purchase it. "Pooosy Hair for You, From Melania With Love. No Return Book - How You Say ? - Final Sale."

"She can barely read or write...."

Neither can her targeted market: her husband's MAGAt supporters, so the sales figures should be surprising to no one.

R5 right 😆. First of all, Magas don’t read books and I think many other conservatives wouldn’t buy a book from her. There is no audience for her when it comes to BOOKS.

I’ve said this a few times on this site. I will never forget when the she and Dump were on Larry King and they showed a clip of 5 yr old Barron getting ready for school. He had Slovenian accent. King’s old Brooklyn ass quickly pointed it out with no fucks to give. Trump was hella embarrassed, you could tell. And Melania proudly said in the fkin whore accent, “That’s cause he’s always with meeee”

Melania was always with Barron back then, and Trump was always with porn stars. Fair and balanced.

Are you telling me MAGAts aren't avid readers?

I couldn't possibly be less interested.

For those of you who don't know about publishing, this is how it works:

There's an outfit in Texas that will guarantee your book is a bestseller. It costs between $500K and a million, and you get a guaranteed spot on the Times bestseller list. Each year about twenty to thirty "authors" use this service so they can say they had a NY Times bestseller. Everyone from politicians to billionaires to Clarence Thomas (I'm sure Mr. Leo did it for him) have used this service. The way to spot it is how fast a book that is supposedly a number one bestseller stays on the list. If it's a real bestseller, it lingers. If it's a bought bestseller, it leaves fairly quickly.

The service is done through a network of people who buy the book across the country, I can't tell you more because I sighed an NDA.

I'll wait for the movie version.

[quote]her most concrete goal described in the book: “I hope to have the opportunity to bring excellent skincare products to market in the future under more favorable circumstances.”

She's a regular Eleanor Roosevelt!

Trump lies about his prostitute/third wife’s book sales-Shocking-Absolutely Shocking

I alway imagine her quite like Sophie from “Two Broke Girls” - “I’ll be in my boot”

Not to worry,, Saudi Arabia and Russia have yet to place their orders.

She's in for a rude awakening, r20. Although the venture would probably just be a money laundering scheme.

Back to selling poosey at truck stop!

Apparently, she talks about her deep friendship with France's first lady, Brigitte Macron, when in fact they've never spent time together outside formal events.

Be (not) best (seller)

[quote] She's a regular Eleanor Roosevelt!

Going to the Roosevelt Presidential Museum,I was impressed that Eleanor wrote and published 27 books!!! She was amazing.

Okay, you didn't buy her book, but know you have the opportunity to purchase a $195 digital photo collection showcasing her "dynamic life."

The photos being sold through her personal website “offer a poignant glimpse into [Melania Trump’s] fast-moving life,” her office said.

I would probably pay $5 to see this old whore shoot ping pong balls out of her cooch.

I don’t care, do U?

Bwahahahahahahaha!

(Okay. I care. I love this.)

She should have just plagiarized The Happy Hooker in its entirety, and put a picture of her whore mouth on the cover.

Nobody would have known and her fans would have been titillated.

At least the Happy Hooker, Xaviera Hollander, had a brain and a sense of humor.

[quote] Over at Amazon, “Melania” is a dud on Amazon’s Kindle e-books at number 161

That's impressive. I can't imagine the target group. (Apart from late-night show producers and the DL).

The word "truly" is used 95+ times in its 256 pages, apparently. Other favorites: "sophisticated," "elegant," "experience" and "growth." To think a ghostwriter was paid good money for this...

Melania better get out and starting hooking again

The Times should explain how just anyone can buy themselves a spot as the #1 bestseller for a week.

Russian TV s making fun of the Trump win by showing nude pics of Melania.

Eastern Europeans humiliating themselves and each other.

I'll just do a free Google Image search if I want to see the cunt?

Her cunt is available for purchase anywhere sleazy broads are sold

She should have included her nude photos, to be definitive.

The irony is, if someone like Kitty Kelley wrote a Melania tell all, it would probably sell well.

They should have Laura Benanti do the audiobook.

My co-worker is Malaria's cousin and even he's embarrassed of her. I gave him a couple of excerpts from the book to read online and he just rolled his eyes, without saying anything.