Your dick is amazing I love the way you fuck 🥵😈

Have you considered taking a creative writing class OP? This little droplet of fiction is…uninspiring.

Could you just go the fuck away and take your swollen ego with you?

0/10

Why?

Did the guy think he was writing an Amazon review?

When did you wake up from your dream?

Link to Yelp account.

You "were" lean and gym built? You back to your 350 pound self Teafuck?

R1. I’m only relaying my real experiences. The writer of the testimonial is a lawyer. It did the job.

R2 Again, I’m only writing exact reality. Why boast on anonymous message boards if it’s not the truth

R6 3 way was at 6 pm. I was fully conscious throughout. I went to bed at 11 pm and awoke at 6 am. I never remember my dreams.

Exactly, R9. Teacunt started replying to other threads exactly 90 seconds after starting this thread. I think I should report him to Fort Meade and be done with him.

Post pics R9 or it didn't happen.

Sex is not sexy, hot, or interesting in this context, except in a Dean Martin 1974 shoe-polish-on-the-sheets way.

Shudder.

The paranoia exhibited by r8 and r10 is a bonus to one with a cruel sense of humor.

I’m not Teacake

Did you go to the drive-thru at Chipotle afterwards?

R13. Yes...yes you are. You make me sad. I never realized a human's life could be so pathetic.

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

Are sure he didn’t say: Tu pene es pequeño. donde esta la salida?

Then I think we should all have an ice-cold Frosty, r16!

R14 I never eat fast food. Constant vigilance is required to maintain a hot fuckable body.

R15 I drink your tears 😭

R17 What language is that quote written in? Though he did have some Spanish / Mexican cuisine cookbooks in his kitchen.

R19. You do realize that Teafuck uses the term "constant vigilance" a lot. You have the worst memory for a troll.

Was it fruitcup night in independent living?

Me thinks OP protests too much. (R19, r9, r13)

R21 no fruit cup, but the host did offer cannabis, which I did one hit. I’m no good with a bong.

^^^^methinks autocorrect sucks sometimes

OP, love what you wrote. It gave me a screamer.

And to the rest of youse......who cares if it's true or not!

R20 I have no idea what Teacake writes as I don’t pay attention to him. But I do admire that fact that he has traumatized you into thinking he is everywhere

R22 I’m replying to the thread which I created

🙄

R25. What is a screamer, OP?

R27, screamer means hard on that I can shove up your ass! 😡

OP, how effective are treatments for syphilis these days?

[quote] [R2] Again, I’m only writing exact reality. Why boast on anonymous message boards if it’s not the truth

Why not? Particularly if it is the only venue where you can falsely boast.

Yet again, any mention of sex in real life, will bring up the ancient PTSD shriekers from the bottoms of their crypts, like r29

I’m doing to a Halloween party tonight, which will inevitably turn into an orgy. After that, I will take doxy pep.

And I’m screened for STIs at least once a quarter

It’s 2024, not 1986

R28. Thanks for admitting that you're OP. Makes it easier to follow along. Carry on!

R30 I only write about my real life experiences because I can then hold the doubters in contempt.

You act as if this is unusual, but it’s not for an attractive gay guy in a major city who isn’t broken down unfuckable retiree.

I don't think this is teacake. This is sexy party and cruise ship guy, right? Unless that one is teacake too.

Oh great. Teacuck/OP is back.

Sorry, I meant sex party and cruise ship guy, not sexy.

R33. R34. It's Teacake and you know it is. Just search for "hold the doubters in contempt." That's gives you the answer as it's been used multiple times. The junkie can't use different words.

Why so salty, R31/OP?! You boasted about your sexual exploits to strangers. You said "ask me anything!" I asked out of genuine curiosity. I figured you being a proud, open and notorious whore would give first-hand knowledge.

And I don't sleep in a crypt...anymore.

[quote] You act as if this is unusual, but it’s not for an attractive gay guy in a major city who isn’t broken down unfuckable retiree.

Oooh...do you know any attractive gay guys in a major city? If so, we'd rather hear from them than you.

Is this supposed to be interesting?

Are you sure this isn't something your mother whispered in your ear when she tucked you into bed at night?

Teafake=DeFacto =sad self-hating kaween=brittle cluster B

OP, you're putting Jackie Collins to shame with the richness of your sleazy prose and elaborate fantasy world. You should turn this awesome story into a book and become the next Erotic Romance Queen!

R40, indeed. OP's entire story is that he had a three way and one of the guys enjoyed himself. How utterly zzzzz by gay standards. Sadder still that it's probably made up.

Did you fall in love with either of them? What did you do afterwards?

All the usual notes from OP that one could hope for in one of his inane post hookup threads:

You're hot and fuck hot guys, Doxy PEP, everyone here is old and envious etc.

Hard bodies and hard cocks but rote and flaccid trolling. 0/10

R45 the lawyer is married, and I’m taken romantically as well.

However, both of the guys said, in private conversations afterwards, that they would like to get together with me one on one.

After, I washed the cum and lube off myself and I ate bourbon pecan ice cream and watched the second half of Silence Of The Lambs.

Perfect summation r46

And when I SHIT myself while fucking these clowns (do to anal prolapse syndrome) I blamed the one taking my ROCK HARD 3.5 inches!!!!

But I have a really nice face, I swear!

And my credit score will be better in 6 years!

You people are so jealous you cannot stand it!

Imagine having an IQ of 80 and being desperate to write a good EST. Something, anything to get noticed, and for 30 short seconds, not be the scary weird man who lives in the basement.

Oh dear r49

This is the guy who regaled us with his exploits in SF for a weekend and other similar "adventures" periodically, who then spends the entire thread chastising everyone for being a prude and reminding us what year it is. He writes suspiciously similar to Greg.

Boring.

I paid an architect to design my custom built house in 2019, and I am the second floor as I’m writing this r50

Wow this is a shockingly bad EST.

I remember when you had to guess whether it was real or not. Helen Keller could spot this one from a mile away.

That's the irony about OPs post is, if you are a top and you know how to use your dick to make guys cum, you don't have to be gym built or have an amazing body. You give it to them good once and they will favorite you forever. I am an older dude, and have fucked around with a handful of guys in their 20s. I made one guy cum for the first time getting fucked. He actually came twice. So you do that to a guy, it doesn't matter how tight their six pack is, you are getting the text at night.

Great big fat person alert at r55. You not having a gym body is something that gnaws at you, eh? Please, tell us more.

The contempt I feel for you r54 is quite pleasant

Did one of them look like a skinny Jerry Garcia?

R56. OP. I hope you choke on your "contempt." Nobody cares! Everyone knows all of your posts are pure fiction, not even well thought out or well expressed. I hope your contempt for me is JOYOUS and ORGASMIC.

R55 is absolutely right about how it works for a lot of tops. A big dick on a guy who knows how to use it equals hot bottoms throwing themselves at him even if he isnt that attractive otherwise. He will constantly have a lot of good ass to pick from. All bottoms and tops with average dicks have to put in way more effort. Those are the rules.

Thanks OP. I really appreciate the offer, But no.

Yes, but do you have a nice personality?

OP: You sound like a douchebag.

I beez blatino, mafuckers!’ Ole!!! 🌯 🫏 🌮

Op But did he say you were beautiful and give you a FREE cup of lemonade?

I think OP's company last night was under the influence of hard drugs to enjoy being fucked by a terrier with a microscopic cocklet

Dear nifty.org...

That’s wonderful the guy with the dick thing - Trump is winning…

Where did he post this testimonial?

Yawn. 🥱

Unsolicited then, unbelievable now.

OP Russie you're 87 yo. You haven't seen a gym since 1974. Fail🤪

They neglected to mention your fetid, foul smelling breath which is one reason why they all refused to kiss your mouth.

Cum dump. Nothing more.

They both kissed me extensively, even more so when I felched the one guys two loads out the host ass

Teacake sounds and behaves exactly like Greg did before he got banned. Same way of creating threads about himself and the same kind of Q&A sessions throughout the threads.

How are the two imaginary Bengal rescue cats doing Teacake?

I much preferred the recipes. I would also prefer BILL TAYLOR to return instead of these insane multiple personalities.

We realize this is all your wishful thinking.

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED.