Have any of you hags taken the TCM cruise?

I really wanted to take my mom on one, since she was such a fan of old Hollywood and the golden age stars, but she passed away before I had the chance. I think she would've loved it.

Are they burying Mitzi at sea?

What is TCM?

It would fit snuggly within the I want to be underwhelmed thread …

If Juliet Mills is bringing her husband -- count me in!

R3 Turner Classic Movies

Fort Lauderdale to Cozumel. A dream come true!

What do they have on the cruise? Show movies?

Hayley AND Juliet Mills!

Yes, R8, I gather they show movies, especially the films of their celebrity guests who do Q & As about them. And I think there are entertainers aboard also, akin to ‘talent’ one might see on other cruises. And the usual buffets and dinners.

All the hosts/moderators on TCM go on this thing every year and I wonder if they find it fun or dread it like a case of plague?

They are dying inside the whole time.

Bob Mackie told me a story of when he went on one. Dave Karger from TCM was doing a Q & A with him and a fan in the audience brought up a dead pet squirrel that they had had stuffed.

Wearing a miniature version of the Carol Burnett “Went With the Wind” dress.

And asked Bob to sign it.

This is the kind of people you’ll be spending time in an enclosed space with.

Sounds like a great setting for a murder mystery.

R12 That sounds pretty awesome, like a John Waters movie.

Would have been fun 15 years ago or so when some of the classic hollywood actors were still alive.

I have not been on a TCM cruise but am a member of the TCM Wine Club!

Standard inside cabin: 5 days starting - STARTING - at $2445. For five days. On the lowest deck. That's almost $500 per person per day.

Which is outrageously expensive.

I hear a voice in the dark!

Imagine booking in advance with no refund option only to find out at the last minute that the main star attraction is going to be Jamie Lee Curtis...and now you're stuck on a boat in the open sea with Jamie Lee Curtis!

I just want to see the movie hosts in their swimsuits!

R19 But y'are on that cruise, Blanche! Y'are!

R20 hasnt been laid since the Clinton administration

IIRC they had Lorna Luft on a recent sailing. Was that where she was molested?

I'd go if only to fuck Dave Karger...

Mitzi will appear, from The Outer Limts.

the schedule for this year's cruise

Do they make a Hollywood Legends caftan in XXXXL?

This year is pretty lackluster, both in terms of guests and films.

Do they play that golf cart race commercial over the loudspeakers?

Ugh...Rita Moreno? Pass!

R27 no size is too small. Edith Head’s ghost is on the Lido deck for a consult. After bingo, but only until tea time.

R30 is the Erivo troll trying, badly, to hide. We know your type.

[quote]Standard inside cabin: 5 days starting - STARTING - at $2445. For five days. On the lowest deck. That's almost $500 per person per day.

And that's double occupancy. I'm paying $1750 pp all in for Atlantis next week. And I'll likely have more sex.

[quote]Ugh...Rita Moreno? Pass!

Haaaaallo, Chita!

Leslie Uggams as an angry old broad in her "stewardess" costume from "SKYJACKED with Charleton Heston" later retitled "Terror In The Sky" Circa 1972.

Also featuring THAT BITCH YVETTE MIMIEUX!

[quote] Leslie Uggams as an angry old broad in her "stewardess" costume from "SKYJACKED with Charleton Heston" later retitled "Terror In The Sky" Circa 1972.

Hucka da bajeepers!

[quote]This year is pretty lackluster, both in terms of guests and films.

"Oklahoma!" featuring Shaun Cassidy.

Oh, DEAR.

and Barbra's husband played the hijacker!

I would have preferred to have gone 10 years ago when more actual Golden Age - or at least 1950s-1970s - stars were still alive.

it's not my cup of tea, but the people who do it seem to have fun. I met this couple who go on these cruises with the band Kiss as celebrity guest/hosts (however you want to call it) and they'e done it so many times, Peter Chriss (I think) knows them by name. That's weird. The TCM cruise is kind of dorky, but at least fun dorky. Hanging out on the pool deck with. Gene Simmons is just sad.

Bad form r35

[Quote] I really wanted to take my mom on one, since she was such a fan of old Hollywood and the golden age stars, but she passed away before I had the chance.

You should take her anyway

^ Ok, Norman.

[quote]And that's double occupancy. I'm paying $1750 pp all in for Atlantis next week. And I'll likely have more sex.

Yes, but you don't get to have sex with Rita Moreno, do you?

Will any of you ask Rita about her Empty Nest pilot?

"Ms. Moreno, I enjoyed your work with Sally Struthers on Broadway. What was the reason she only refers to you today as 'Ms. Coozeburger'?"

Not since Robert Osborne died. It might have been fun with him on board.

I'd imagine even if they could coax big old stars like Kim Novak, Ann Blyth, Leslie Caron and Shirley MacLaine onboard, they wouldn't exactly be very sociable.

I took an MTM cruise.

So boring it made my head hurt. Bad.

I went in 2016 (right after the election).

I had never been on a cruise before and at first I was like what have I gotten myself into. I was like 40 years younger than everyone else.

The stars were Kim Novack, Leslie Caron, Jerry Lewis, Michael York, Dick Cavett, Lucie Arnaz (who did her nightclub act) and Alex Trebek who hosted trivia games. Ben and Illeana Douglas were the hosts.

Novack was quite interesting talking about Hitchcock and her bipolar disorder. The moment the suckered me in and made me glad I went was when Novack presented Vertigo. She did an interview with Ben and then after they stood up to leave she went center stage and got kind of emotional. She said I hope you love the picture. That's all we wanted-was for you to love it. Then she started stammering and crying a bit and saying that's all she ever wanted was to be loved. It's what Jimmy Stewart wanted. It was what Hitchcock wanted. Then she was sort of just standing there awkwardly grasping for what to say. A guy in the audience yelled we love you Kim. That satisfied her and she left the stage with Ben and the film started.

It kind of was such a nice moment it melted my cynical why am I here heart.

Shaun Cassidy must be filling in for his mother. Shirley is no spring chicken. She must not be able to go on a cruise.

Let’s be a Saltburn cruise. I’m the Minotaur in the maze, trying to figure out if Oliver is symbolic of me, or Puck ( midsummer nights …)

[quote...and now you're stuck on a boat in the open sea with Jamie Lee Curtis!

All it would take is one good push off a balcony deck.

In the dark

**kisses doll**

and anyway you'd be stuck on a boat with Academy Award Winner Jamie Lee Curtis not just plain Jamie Lee Curtis

From the last TCM cruise, I saw a bunch of social media pictures of a group of friends wearing Last of Sheila t-shirts.

That's a sweet story, R49; in this day & age when lots of people stand in line to hear some demented old perv ranting on about hate, it's sweet to hear stories about people finding a community over something they love, not in a weird obsessive way like those Cosplay conventions, but an appreciation of the artistry.

We should all sign up and turn it into the Datalounge cruise. lol

Rita Moreno?! I can’t imagine being trapped at sea with Rita Moreno. I’d sooner insert shards of glass into my eyeballs.

[quote] I'm paying $1750 pp

Pp?

They stop asking you after you turn 100.

What's that Eva?

Michael Caine, Gene Hackman and Paul. Dooley are all sharing a stateroom ...

Find Dave Karger!

Oh man, a cruise full of male alter kockers? It's like a smorgasbord for Dave Karger.

[quote]Yes, but you don't get to have sex with Rita Moreno, do you?

Miss Moreno? Her rude gyrations are only lousy imitations.

Although she actually performed on one of the first gay charters years and year ago now.

R64 As Googie Gomez....

Maybe I'll book circa 2035 when TCM books an Atlantis cruise...

[quote]What is TCM?

Not a question I ever thought I'd read here.

Odd that Rita Moreno is the featured guest but they aren't showing West Side Story.

And she's there for Carnal Knowledge? Where she has one scene at the very end as a whore going down on Jack Nicholson? And then she's got the brass balls to complain about her days as a starlet being stereotyped in the 50s when she was making movies like Singing in the Rain and The King and I?

They couldn't have Ann-Margret or Candice Bergen? Or they were like I can afford to go on a cruise if I want to thank you very much without having to sing for my supper.

Ben Mankiewicz asked me for a blow job.

r70=Mario Cantone

I think Ben Vereen started this thread so he'll have some gays to talk to! Too late Ben, there's a waiting list.

Shaun Cassidy and Rita Moreno. Oy vey!

I'm surprised they haven't tried to appeal to a younger demographic / Gen X awaits!

Wasn’t some crotchety old prick like Chevy Chase or Richard Dreyfus there last year?

Huge admirer of TCM and all of their presenters (especially Alicia Malone and Eddie Muller).

I understand why they try to sell some branded content, but I speed through the TCM Wine Club advertisements and often the book promotions, too. I will say the wine ads have improved since the time they featured a British wine “curator” who explained some of their selections. She was pretty awful, so wooden and pretentious.

There was a better lineup last year with Kim Novak, Elliott Gould, Lorna Luft and George Chakiris.

Aw, Mitzi.

I would love to know the list of wannabes who year after year get a firm NO.

[quote] I would love to know the list of wannabes who year after year get a firm NO.

They turn me Down becauze I ask for Gelson's potatoe salad!

Being stuck on a ship with tons of ancient, hissing eldergays being cunts about everything. No thanks.

That’s an Atlantis cruise, dear!

There wasn't many eldergays. It was a very straight crowd.

Closet cruisers.

Dave Karger has a home here in Palm Springs (actually Cathedral City, behind the Target). Hoping to spot him here someday.

[quote] There wasn't many

Kind of a republican crowd too.

Dave Karger is a delicious little snack.

R87 is talking out of her prolapsed anus again.

Nah r89. I went on one.

Did you check voter registration at the buffet?

R85. No way! I need to shop more at Target then!

How delicious it would be if Rita fell off and drowned.

Sally Struthers was on Marc Maron's podcast and talked at length about what a cunt Rita Moreno was when they did a gender reversal of The Odd Couple together.

R94. She told Gilbert and Frank the same on their show. She would not name the actress though but claimed she was verbally and psychologically abusive. I'm not shocked.

I’ll never forgive Rita Moreno for trashing Natalie Wood on TCM while rehashing that bullshit about how Rita should have been seriously considered as Maria in “West Side Story”. She hated the idea that Jerry Robbins and Robert Wise loved Natalie.

It was a threeway Zoom conversation with Russ Tamblin and George Chakiris with Ben Mankiewicz and they weren’t having it, cut Rita off and talked about how great Natalie was.

R96. Really?! I hope to find that!

Rita is a piece of shit.

We should invite all of these cunt on to the cruise and then verbally trash them one by one.

He made that up.^

Made what up?

I have taken the TCM bus tour of the stars’ homes.

[quote] Rita is a piece of shit.

Hi Sally Struthers!

Sally is a positive person and seems a pleasure to work with. After detailing her treatment by "Miss Coozeburger" (Moreno), she said Rita eventually left the show and was replaced by Brenda Vaccaro, and the two of them had a blast every night on stage.

I THOUGHT I had a photo of Bob Mackie with the stuffed squirrel dressed as Starlet O’Hara! Found it! Dave Karger has a phobia of dead animals, so he was appropriately freaked out.

Since they aren't showing Hayley's Parent Trap 2, it's a hard pass.

R106. But are they showing Parent Trap 4: Hawaiian Honeymoon?! That's the one with the magic!

As of today, they're still advertising for the cruise, which leaves in TWO DAYS. Seriously -- are there people who'd sign up for it at this point?

R108. Shocking...it use to be sold out months in advance. Googie Gomez isn't pulling them in?

They could have had Ellen Burstyn introduce Goodbye Charlie. Or Connie Stevens introduce Never Too Late.

R110. Joely Fisher says Cricket Blake is basically a vegetable in an assisted living dump. Good news though! Lainie Kazan lives down the hall!

R109 it has been sold out for months.

r112 Then why are they still advertising it?

R112. Hi Alicia!

Looks like Ben Vereen dropped out at the last minute. If you look at the schedule posted at the beginning of the thread Shaun Cassidy is now doing all his events.

I wonder if they announce at this performance the roles usually played by Ben Vereen will be played by Shaun Cassidy. (neither one is exactly a classic film star.)

Wow, Vereen would be the only reason I would even attend. What the fuck is Cassidy going to say about All That Jazz? Couldn't they even try to get a lower level participant? Shit, call Vicki Frederick. She's not busy.

I would love to see Brenda Vaccaro on a cruise. She’s a riot and seems like a lovely person with a lot of stories to tell.

They should have Tracey Ullman come out as drunken lush, Hollywood makeup artist, Ruby Romaine. She’ll dish dirt on everyone.

R115 I'm available to talk about All That Jazz! And I could sure use a cruise!

Brenda Vaccaro introduced Jessica Walter and Ron Leibman. Those are the stories I want to hear!

I made more movies than Sean Cassidy and Ben Vereen combined! What the fuck?

R121. Anything we would know?

[quote]I made more movies than Sean Cassidy and Ben Vereen combined! What the fuck?

Look at the mouth on ya, Joyce Bulifant!

[quote]I made more movies than Sean Cassidy and Ben Vereen combined! What the fuck?

Porn doesn't count.

Why not Gabrielle Carteris? She's been in the biz since the silent era.