Others?
I was recently talking to a friend who is in HR about (invented) maladies that no one will question. Here’s our list….
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 16, 2024 6:10 PM |
OP here: At the last minute I had to include something about female problems, so we have FOUR options for calling in sick.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 16, 2024 4:06 AM |
"Projectile vomiting."
Please stay home!
by Anonymous | reply 2 | October 16, 2024 4:10 AM |
[quote] Explosive diarrhea.
Will this be a good diversion to skip debates and duck interviews?
by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 16, 2024 4:13 AM |
Most GI-related maladies are accepted without much explanation.
Migraine headaches seem to be accepted, in recent times. I've only ever had one headache that was so bad that I'd call it a "migraine." I became sensitive to light and it felt like something was happening behind one of my eyeballs.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | October 16, 2024 4:16 AM |
A guy on my staff called out with the excuse, "my dog has the flu." I literally LOL'd. He had been calling out a lot with lame excuses (I tripped running for the subway). His sister was also a manager, who I liked, so I cut him slack. I moved on to another company, a friend took my old position. Turns out the guy had a huge drinking problem, he was only in his mid-twenties. I was very naive about alcoholism back then.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 16, 2024 4:31 AM |
"Female problems" only used with a male manager.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | October 16, 2024 4:32 AM |
Fibro Flare
by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 16, 2024 4:34 AM |
Food poisoning is a good one. It’s over in a day, not contagious, and no one ever questions it.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 16, 2024 4:35 AM |
I've been retired for some time and don't understand why anyone would explain their healthcare to lowly employees. Get a note from your doctor, no questions asked. The end.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 16, 2024 4:48 AM |
I contracted bad cases of the vapors occasionally. They seemed to center in my stomach.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | October 16, 2024 4:49 AM |
I've used food poisoning a few times.
My market has a food bar I often pick up dinner from, so it's an explanation.
My work loves me.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | October 16, 2024 5:01 AM |
Mental health day
by Anonymous | reply 12 | October 16, 2024 5:03 AM |
FIBROMYALGIA!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 13 | October 16, 2024 5:08 AM |
[quote] Turns out the guy had a huge drinking problem
That's what I was thinking. A string of creative stories that are plausible, separately.
Another reason for a string of creative stories is domestic violence.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | October 16, 2024 5:38 AM |
[quote] Get a note from your doctor, no questions asked. The end.
The goal is to call in sick, NOT go to the doctor, and still give a plausible reason why you're out.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | October 16, 2024 5:39 AM |
Mug cradling accident.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | October 16, 2024 7:58 AM |
A couple of times I told the truth: I was cleaning the house and I didn’t want to stop. Usually it was gastroenteritis. Could be anything and they don’t want details.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | October 16, 2024 8:16 AM |
One thing I will lie about^^
by Anonymous | reply 18 | October 16, 2024 8:17 AM |
Never explain.
Call on or send the briefest possible message:
"I'm not feeling well and am going to stay home today."
"I'm not feeling well and am going to take this as a sick day. I'll let you know if I'm not feeling better for tomorrow."
That's the limit of your obligation. Assuming you don't do in this three times a month, every month, what's the problem? Do employers really want/need to know the nature of your problem, the exact reading of your temperature, the liquid/solid ratio of your vomit, the explosiveness of your diarrhea?
"And while I have you on the phone, I have to take next Friday off for some personal business."
The more you explain, the more ridiculous (and demeaning) it seems.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | October 16, 2024 9:13 AM |
Woke up with a big hemmy, can't really sit well today
by Anonymous | reply 20 | October 16, 2024 9:21 AM |
I just send an email: "I'm out sick, today." I don't explain what happened to me. One of my coworkers will text with a description of what's going on. E.g.: a friend died and she (coworker) needs some time to "navigate" this situation. I know it sounds cold for me to say this, but it's too much drama, sometimes. We have a pretty generous leave policy, so I'm all about people using leave, especially myself. I don't need the explanations.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | October 16, 2024 9:22 AM |
I'm having a problem with my eyes - can't see myself coming in today.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | October 16, 2024 9:35 AM |
I'm suicidal today.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | October 16, 2024 9:41 AM |
The dog has shat inappropriately.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | October 16, 2024 10:11 AM |
Pink eye.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | October 16, 2024 10:17 AM |
All of these can be combined into one statement.
" I am an immature emotionally weak person. I will forever be blaming others for my lack of success and financial stability."
by Anonymous | reply 26 | October 16, 2024 10:54 AM |
I can’t stop shitting.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | October 16, 2024 11:03 AM |
R12,
I’m a mental health nurse in the UK, and mental health days are an impossible dream! I have friends who emigrated to Australia (different states with their own legislation), and they can request them. It would be a civilised move, especially when you have had a run of stressful days.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | October 16, 2024 11:04 AM |
[quote]R21 I just send an email: "I'm out sick, today."
Does the unnecessary comma make it seem more authentically lightheaded?
by Anonymous | reply 29 | October 16, 2024 11:37 AM |
Where do you guys work where HR has to “accept” that you’re ill? Are you in the Soviet Union?
by Anonymous | reply 30 | October 16, 2024 11:45 AM |
r30 Clearly people are just having fun with this silly post. I hope your day improves.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | October 16, 2024 11:48 AM |
Clearly.
[quote] Get a note from your doctor, no questions asked. The end.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | October 16, 2024 11:50 AM |
r32 You're embarrassed now, but it's no big deal - really. Have fun today!
by Anonymous | reply 33 | October 16, 2024 11:53 AM |
R28 is not a literal defined day off. It’s a standard phrase used informally.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 16, 2024 11:54 AM |
"I was at a freak off this weekend, and I'm still sore and woozy."
by Anonymous | reply 35 | October 16, 2024 11:59 AM |
I stopped my Macy’s on my way home last night, and I was mouth-raped.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | October 16, 2024 12:06 PM |
R25, that's a good one, nobody wants that shit near them.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | October 16, 2024 12:06 PM |
Rona
by Anonymous | reply 38 | October 16, 2024 6:10 PM |