BEARKING: Lena Dunham is now big as my granny's sofa and completely unrecognizable

[quote] big as my granny's sofa

I'm so hard right now.

I enjoyed hating on Lens as much as anyone, but this is just sad. I hope she admits that she needs help and gets it, or she will die young.

Rich people who are overweight confuse me. Get a trainer and a chef.

Simply Sara vibes.

It's just the polka dots, that's all!

r3 Just Ozempic would do. Rich fat fuckers who refuse to get on it disgust me.

That cutesy shit with her hand and her face she does at the end... a friend of hers really needs to tell her she's too old and too fat for that.

She doesn’t look great, but most people that size do not die young.

You know, as much as I dislike Lens, if she wants to be as big as a house, she can do that.

What I don't understand is why, when she has so much money, she doesn't hire a stylist that can give her a slightly more flattering muumuu.

Sometimes I wonder if this is all a social experiment. Is she really this self indulgent?

Christina, get me the wide angle lens!

Her hair looked like shit on Girls as well, she prided herself on sporting that idiot fringe for a while. She thinks a hairstyle that's slightly off makes her look zany.

r10 It's all just cope for having lost Antonoff. She'll never recover, especially with Qualley blowing up now.

[quote]Lena Dunham is now big as my granny's sofa.

Not so tiny furniture anymore.

It doesn't matter if she's heavy or thin. She'll always be homely.

At least she's not wearing a skintight dress thinking she's a size 2.

She’s my big-boned gal!

Bitch stole my look

Her cutsey gestures bug me more than her fat.

Defiantly hideous. Ozempic will correct this.

I saw her interview Nick Offerman and Megan Mullaly maybe 5 years ago and she was half that size. She was really funny and sweet. Maybe becoming so exhausting has made her a fatty.

She's, um... Metzmerizing.

I know R19, me too. I mean if you are going to choose to be that big (because with all of her money, it's a choice) at least embrace it. Don't apologize for being gigantic by doing that cutesy fat girl shit, apologizing for all of the space you are taking up.

She had some health issues. I know people blame it, but it can spiral out of control. Think she had to get a hysterectomy too-- can't have children. Sad.

And black is supposed to be slimming...

[quote]or she will die young.

Or she will live a long time but her quality of life will be greatly lowered. There is no political statement worth making in regards to her body and weight that makes being that big worth it.

There are lots of PA Dutch women from my part of PA who look just like that.

But even they dress better.

[quote]Think she had to get a hysterectomy too-- can't have children. Sad.

Not for the hypothetical children.

Meanwhile, the diabetics who really need Ozempic can't get it because of people who aren't sensible about weight control and can afford to pay the high price for it, r3.

Isn't that the mumu Homer wore on The Simpsons?

Doesn't all that flesh smell?

What the eyes have seen cannot be unseen.

Lena CALL ME! I can make you a STAR!

[quote]Meanwhile, the diabetics who really need Ozempic can't get it because of people who aren't sensible about weight control

Oh boo hoo like you give a shit about diabetics. Obese people need help managing their weight and it’s considered a chronic disease. The sooner Lena deals with her weight the better. I think it’s great drugs like Ozempic can help people.

Putting down the fork can also help people.

R34. The long-term success of sustained weight loss for the long -term obese is pretty close to zero. That doesn’t mean you can’t continue to have fantasies that willpower alone can solve it if you find it psychologically important to believe that.

I wasn’t suggesting willpower r36 so I’m not sure why you replied with that.

Moooooooooooo

A Knife and Fork

Girl, you let a knife and fork dig your grave

You eat every kinda food, you ain't nothin' but a slave

If you don't slacken up your pace

They're gonna throw food in your face Girl, you let a knife and fork dig your grave

Girl, you let a knife and fork get you down

If you keep this up little girl, you won't be around

If you don't change some of your ways

Girl, you're gonna shorten all your days

Girl, you let a knife and fork get you down

Eat, eat, eat, that's your middle name

Oh, the way you stuff yourself is a doggone shame

(Yeah yeah yeah-yeah)

Girl, you let a knife and fork call your hand

You gobble all the food in sight that you can

If you don't change some of your ways

Girl, you're gonna shorten all your days

Girl, you let a knife and fork call your hand

Wearin' a size 44

You have to turn sideways to get through the door

Girl, you let a knife and fork dig your grave

Girl, you let a knife and fork dig your grave

Girl, you let a knife and fork dig your grave

Girl, you let a knife and .

R34. My apologies. That was for R29.

[quote]There are lots of PA Dutch women from my part of PA who look just like that.

I bet the Pennsylvania Dutch women are good cooks, though.

I found the *perfect* snack purse for Lena!

Damn right, R41. I always say that the only thing I miss about PA is the food.

It’s almost as sad as some sad queen continuing to try and make “BEARKING” happen, OP.

R42 Why must it be so SMALL?

I tried to find the cute handbag she´s wearing via google image search but i always end up on sites selling square suitcases?

She’s been eating too many bowls of fruity pebbles.

OMG! She's a badly dressed whale.

Her feelings are a Chrissy Metz sized snack purse OP.

Where's my poking stick?

Not to nitpick OP, but Naomi Cohen (a.k.a Cass Eliot) did not die choking on a ham sandwich. There was one in her room when she died of heart failure due to crash dieting (she once lost 80 lbs in four months and started peeing blood) but it was untouched. The medical examiner was disgusted by obese people and ASSUMED she choked on it. 🤬

IDGAF about Lena Dunham.

r3 and r6 will always be ugly.

So, does JD Vance know about her grannies sofa? He'd like that.

What a whale.

[quote]The medical examiner was disgusted by obese people and ASSUMED she choked on it. 🤬

Untrue.

Allan Carr, who was managing Cass at the time of her death, allowed the ham sandwich story to spread because he assumed she had overdosed and didn't want that story tainting her legacy.

r50's lack inability to recognize humor is literally stereotypical.

What does "literally" add to your sentence, r55?

There is some mental illness in wanting to look repulsive. Look at her here, she's kind of chubby but dressed in a flattering style. Even at that size she would wear hideous clothing that were determined to repulse people.

She had nice skin before she developed the Type II diabetic look.

She looks in her 50's in OP's vid. She's actually only 38

r55 Shallow bitchy queen is one to talk about stereotypes.

My sister has gained a lot of weight from her cancer drugs, so I'm not judging Lens.

R61, I've gained a lot of weight from my cancer drugs. I give you full permission to join me in judging Lens.

She’s not that huge. She only looks like a sofa because she’s wearing a sofa covering.

Only the good die young.

Did she pick that number up at Georgia tent and awning?

Look, I’m not about to fat shame anyone, but what the fuckety fuck fuck does she have on her feet????

Pontoons?

Put a blonde wig on her and she's Little Lotta.

She dresses and styles her hair like my grandma. Even Chrissy Metz and Carny Wilson look better than her.

She’s bigger than EVER.

She looks about the size of Whitney Way Thore from My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

I wonder if Jack Antonoff regrets breaking up with her. Surely he misses her hungry vagine.

[quote] Look, I’m not about to fat shame anyone, but what the fuckety fuck fuck does she have on her feet????

She has that unfortunate trait of walking a bit like a duck—feet turned out—so to top it all off, just because of that you notice her feet more. Lena being Lena she has to wear hideous shoes, because that shitty dress and hairstyle weren’t ugly enough on their own.

She has a disease that affects her tendons and collagen. If you look at her IG, she can bend her fingers weirdly and get in the fifth position like a trained ballerina.

What cracks me up about her is her glamour poses. She also has a few nice outfits, but the HAIR…

She’s almost perfectly round, like the girl in Willy Wonka!

Dig the fabulous shellacked Ayn Rand hairdo!

Early during the run of "Girls," she appeared on some awards show and some celebrity queen (could it have been Frankie Grande?) told her she would look thin and glamorous if she made "S" poses on the red carpet like Paris Hilton.

And since that time she has always done exactly that.

Lens Dunham poses for photographers at the premiere of the film Treasure.

our Lens certainly looks like a TREASURE here.

[quote]our Lens certainly looks like a TREASURE here.

"Let me put my awkwardly-folded hands under my FUPA so your eyes are drawn to it. Look at it!

LOOK AT IT!"

I can already envision her on a mobility scooter wearing flowing scarves and skirts as she ages, with her husband dutifully by her side while directing him and her surroundings.

The hair is cute. Maybe she was going for a Lynn Yaeger look. Real NYers will know. Fashion icon!

She's fast on her way to becoming the patron saint of the Tender to the Touch, if she's not there already.

I agree, R13, being dumped by Antonoff was very bad for Lens. She immediately began to spiral. Now he's married to the gorgeous, popular Qualley, and both Antonoff and Qualley continue to go from strength the strength in their careers. They are both everywhere, all the time. Antonoff with Taylor Swift and Qualley continuing to choose interesting films. She's literally physically perfect in The Substance and spends a third of the film making love to the camera. I was thinking while watching The Substance, that if I were Lens Dunham I would 100% entertain suicidal ideation watching this film. She knows that Antonoff knows that he dodged a huge (enormous) bullet. It has to be embarrassing and shame-inducing.

I actually feel bad for Lens at this point. For a brief moment she had it all. She was the It Girl with her It Boy boyfriend, receiving regular praise for her work. Then it all fell apart. Now she is known as that lefty loon who finger fucked her own baby sister and would not let the world forget about her endometriosis for five seconds. She's just the whiny liberal who looks like Chrissy Metzger's understudy.

r82 Excellent analysis. Nominating you for the 2024 DL Comment Pulitzer.

Fraus worldwide will tell you,

[Quote]The only thing more comfortable than cradling a mug is cradling your gunt!

Lens is our Fupa-hero!

Isn't lens married?

^ Yes, Rose. Obviously to her refrigerator.

I've said this in other Lens threads- the brief moments in time when she was slim- ish she was actually kind of pretty.

It's her personality that makes her ugly.

Big as a HOUSE!!!

She’s the perfect weight for her height if she were 6’ 5”.

Why does she wear her hair like a bit character in "Grapes of Wrath"?

I thought she was going for Depression Circus Fat Lady hair.

10. Every living body is sexy. Life, inside of a body, is the sexiest human quality. (attitude, actions and slogan tees can ruin it really easily, though.)

This is Lens tenth life affirmation in her latest Instagram post

Lens- Your FUPA is not sexy. Attitude, actions and slogan tees don't ruin IT. It's your 5,000 calorie a day diet that ruins IT.