Haley Joel Osment IS JD Vance!

How hard can it be to order a donut like a normal man?

Haley Joel Osment parodied the uncomfortable viral video of J.D. Vance attempting to buy donuts in Tuesday's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. "The mainstream media? They want you to think that I'm weird," Osment says as Vance at the beginning of the segment. "They call me creepy, cringy, awkward — that I give people something called 'the ick.' They want you to think that I can't order a simple doornut — donut! S---! But that's ridiculous, follow me!"

Osment's Vance waltzes into the donut shop, cuts in front of a tiny old woman, raises his arms above his head, and awkwardly greets the cashier. "Uh, hello," he stammers. "Uh, how long you worked here?" he asks, almost identically to Vance's actual line of questioning in the disastrous video, where the vice presidential candidate grills each employee about how long they've worked at the donut shop and disinterestedly responds, "Good" to whatever amount of time they answer with.

After standing around quietly for several seconds, Osment's Vance declares, "Donut" with no elaboration. "Which donut, though?" the cashier asks. "Uh, just whatever makes sense," Osment responds, quoting Vance's actual puzzling order from the real video. "No pickles, hold the pickles," he adds.

With no hesitation, Osment approaches a smaller display case and punches through the plastic to retrieve his pastry of choice, which he then holds above his head proudly and bites into it despite a layer of shattered plastic adorning the top.

Osment's Vance then touts his supposed folksiness in a voiceover. "The Democrats say I don't know how to talk to people, but that is just not true." He sits down next to a construction laborer who's reading a newspaper. "Hello, worker!" he says, revealing a bandaged hand that's seeping blood from the donut case incident. "May I sit?" he asks as he's already sitting, dunking a second donut deep into a cup of coffee and spilling it everywhere.

"So," he asks, "How long you been Black?" The customer responds, "The f---?" before Osment interrupts him, sniffing the air. "I smell pregnant woman!" Osment says, referencing Vance's highly criticized comments about female fertility and motherhood. He runs back to the donut case and pats a pregnant customer on the belly. "Hello, ma'am — when do you spawn?" he asks, totally normally. "That's none of your business," the woman pushes back. "And you, sir, must be the father!" Osment says to a tiny child. "I'm nine!" the kid responds.

After the woman asks Vance to leave her alone, he smashes into another donut case and says, "Your doornuts are on me!"

Osment then addresses the most viral Vance meme. "Liberals even stooped so low as to suggest that I made love to a couch!" he says, covered in smashed donut remains and smudged eyeliner suggesting he's been weeping. "How would a man even make love to a couch? Would he take an old wallet, lubricate both sides with Miracle Whip, smush it all up in a plastic bag and stuff it in the couch cushions? No way! You'd get banned from the Macy's in the Kenwood Towne Center for life if you did that!"

Vance signs off with a plea to "Make America Normal Again," then interrupts himself with a conflicting, smaller video attempting to explain that the video was paid for by the Committee to Re-elect Donald Trump.

The real Vance acknowledged the discomfort of the donut shop visit in Valdosta, Ga., which saw one employee refuse to appear on camera, in an interview with NBC News. "We walked in, and there’s 20 Secret Service agents, and there’s 15 cameras, and she clearly had not been properly warned, and she was terrified, right?" he said.

"I like to get out there and talk to people, and we want to make sure we’re doing it but definitely make sure that people are at least OK with being on camera, or we’re going to walk in and you’re going to have a person who has, practically, a panic attack because she’s got 15 cameras in her face."

[quote] "So," he asks, "How long you been Black?" The customer responds, "The f---?" before Osment interrupts him, sniffing the air. "I smell pregnant woman!" Osment says, referencing Vance's highly criticized comments about female fertility and motherhood. He runs back to the donut case and pats a pregnant customer on the belly. "Hello, ma'am — when do you spawn?" he asks, totally normally. "That's none of your business," the woman pushes back. "And you, sir, must be the father!" Osment says to a tiny child. "I'm nine!" the kid responds.

[quote] After the woman asks Vance to leave her alone, he smashes into another donut case and says, "Your doornuts are on me!"

ROFL.

Someone needs to turn this into a comedy series starring HJO.

He was really funny.

[quote] Haley Joel Osment Praised For Wild JD Vance Impression: He 'Should Win An Emmy'

Haley Joel Osment is getting love on social media this week for his impression of Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio) after he parodied the Republican vice presidential nominee’s cringeworthy visit to a donut shop in August.

The actor, in a mock ad that aired during “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on Tuesday, dismissed critics who labeled him “weird,” “creepy” and “awkward.”

“They want you to think that I can’t order a simple door nut — donut. Shit,” said Osment, who debuted his impression on the show early last month.

Osment proceeded to cut in front of an elderly woman before speaking to a shop employee, using Vance’s “whatever makes sense” line when deciding on what donuts to buy.

“I can get that for you,” said the employee as Osment walked to a display case with donuts inside and proceeded to punch it open, breaking the glass display in the process.

The actor declared that the Democrats claim he doesn’t “know how to talk to people” before awkwardly sitting down next to a Black construction worker at the shop.

“Hello worker, may I sit?” Osment asked.

“Sure,” replied the worker, who watched as Osment dumped a donut into a cup of coffee and spilled it in front of him.

“So, how long you been Black?” asked Vance before stopping the worker to locate the “smell” of a pregnant woman.

Osment was praised for the portrayal, including by Jace Serrano, a screenwriter who shared a clip of the Kimmel parody that went viral.

“Haley Joel Osment should win an Emmy for his portrayal of JD Vance trying to buy a donut,” Serrano wrote.

He’s funny but he is too short to ever play him on SNL. JD Vance is tall.

What’s with all these articles only have a fucking still photo of the video they are talking about. It’s so annoying the only video in that article is the top 10 best shows on tv right now. I fucking hate yahoo.

R6. Between that and your "thought" about your stalker/s, you're having a rough week, aren't you?

I'd sleep with HJO. He's cute in a cuddly way.

H-JO (J.O. -get it??) has gained a new lease on life. Or at least his career has. He's very good in this role.

Does he still see dead people?

Osment did an excellent job of Vance. Very good.

I'd love to see Haley Joel have a career resurgence.

I loved him in A.I.

god, he nails the fact that Vance seems like an AI creation

[quote] god, he nails the fact that Vance seems like an AI creation

i act like an alien robot all the time and whenever i really embarrass myself i think 'damn, i fuckin vanced it'

His impersonation is better than Bowen Yang's.

Randy Wayne can play J.D. Vance in some Great American Family channel movie.