Thanksgiving Stories

If this thread doesn't include a Sri Lankan in a port a potty, I'm going to be very upset.

My father died on Thanksgiving, the bird having just gone into the oven.

I was born on Thanksgiving morning.

R3 but does your birthday alway fall on Thanksgiving day?

I'm sorry r2.

I wish we had had lasagne for Thanksgiving, but for us it was just the standard American Thanksgiving Meal, down to the green and black olives and celery in crystal bowls and the canned, jellied cranberry sauce.

Dessert was another matter, however. No pumpkin pie for my family. My grandmother made apple, cherry, and mincemeat pies, along with panna cotta with raspberry coulis for me. Same desserts at Christmas.

My father died the day after Thanksgiving, and it was so cold in NJ, they couldn't bury him the day of his funeral. My cousin Jack was chosen to orate at the grave, and it felt like he went on for half a freezing hour about what a great guy my father was. Hah. You should have had to live with him, Jack.

r6 I'd just show up for dessert! Sounds delicious.

Fate rolled the dice so I spent a couple alone, and it was GLORIOUS.

No, R4. Sometimes it falls on Halloween.

I did study abroad term from US -> UK and was friends with a bunch of international students including Americans from other programs.

These three or four girls, (2 British, 2 American i think) decided to throw a Thanksgiving dinner in their student flat (postwar row housing). They cooked everything in their tiny kitchen and one of their kitchens in a flat around the corner. They moved beds out of the large front bedroom upstairs and set up tables. They hosted about twenty, and it was wonderful. I helped with dishes afterward.

One memorable Thanksgiving after I moved out, had my own job and finally came out to my rabidly hating Eastern European family, my mom and my neighborhood-narcissist aunt were cleaning up in the kitchen. My evil cunt aunt, father's sister, asked my mom, loudly, so everyone in the house could hear, "So, now that you have a homosexual son, what's it like knowing he will never give you grandchildren?"

And without a beat, my mom responded, "Well, had I known how wonderful it was having a gay son, I would have skipped the straight daughters..."

Crying as I type...

One relative would drink the water left in the pot after cooking corn. He would also drink any leftover corn fluids from the serving bowl.

The guy I was living with set fire to the porch using my dad’s smoker for the turkey. It was complicated.

Last year on Thanksgiving, an anonymous person dropped off the ashes of my deceased grandmother on our front porch. Her ashes had been stolen from us 10 years ago.

wow so it was someone that obviously knew you.

I must say that out-of-date huzzah: props to your mom R11😁

My grandmother always made a mince pie and an apple pie. The house smelled so good.

Last Thanksgiving after we ate one of my guests (friend of a friend) was leaving rather quickly so I gave him a plate of food and another plate with a slice of pie and cookies for the next day as I do for all my guests.

He then asked if he could have a whole pie that was on my dessert table that hadn't been cut in to yet. He unabashedly said he wanted to take it to his family's Thanksgiving that he was going to next as he needed to bring something to contribute. He hadn't joined his family for dinner as he can't stand his sister-in-law but was joining them for dessert.

I said no.

You want a Thanksgiving story, OP? Here ya go...

Catered meals. My mother didn't do ovens.

R18 Didn’t you get in trouble for eating one of the guests?

I was molested next to the cranberry mold.

R18 He must have been dumbstruck to have ended up as a drumstick 🍗

Meatloaf and pepsi!

How about the one black sheep of the family entering the gathering after being literally talked into going by the family peacemaker. After begrudging being seated at the dinner table and beginning dinner one family member asks why I had such a big up my ass for so long. This in turn infuriates me and I wind up hurling cranberry sauce at his face then stomping out and slamming the door behind me.

R25 BUG

R25 such a big one*

R18, glad you said NO to the request for a whole damn pie (as a guest's parting gift). Some people are so socially stupid.

You should have pied him right in the face

The first and last time I made turkey was when I was in my 20s. I actually did that thing you see on TV shows: I forgot about that little bag of giblets and left it inside the turkey.

Anyhoo, with the carcass, I also made (first and last time) a turkey noodle soup. So good and easy.

I came out to my then wife of 7 months on Thanksgiving. She wasn't thankful.

My other mom (they were hetero best friends) died the morning after Thanksgiving.

So a day late? Unrelated to T-giving.

Do. Better. R2

—so we pulled the turkey and stuffing from the oven. My sister asked what to do, since he died in bed at home. I said call the police for a non-emergency. They came, and the woman officer comforted my mom as the surveyed the scene and sawnothing untoward. The cops suggested finding a mortuary and that there would be no delay or call to the coroner. The mortician was there within the hour(?!), and took the body. We grieved for the rest of the day, and then decided we had to eat. Being a holiday, we called around to find a decent place to take us for a price fixe dinner. We went and had a rip-roaring time. Many bottles of wine & stories to share. Our waiter asked why are you all laughing —my brother replied, deadpan, well…see, our dad died today… THE LOOK! …but he soon got it, and they comped us wine and dessert. We ate Thanksgiving with all the fixings on Friday, in tribute to my dad.

Below I present The Thanksgiving Letter that did the rounds on Awkward Family Photos back in the aughts.

Marney is one for the record books.

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family 1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army. 2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though). 3. Toppings for the ice cream. 4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family 1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up. 2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family 1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family 1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat. 2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon 3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate. 4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family 1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed. 2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this) 1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed. 2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

When your family are comprised of mostly bitches and assholes what’s to be thankful for???

My grandmother once accidentally put down a plate of leftover mashed potatoes in a cabinet, laying them down to pick up later while tidying up. About three months later ... the dining room began to reek, and we unearthed a fungus-ridden, mold-caked platter of ancient, curdled, foul potatoes. It smelled like obscene feet mixed with rat carcass. I have never ever been able to eat mashed potatoes since.

[quote]Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.

I've never seen the bitchy Thanksgiving letter before, this killed me.

Go fuck yourself r33, you're like your prick father. I was her world and she mine. "A day late unrelated to Thanksgiving" my ass. She had small cell cancer and lingered AT HOME 24/7 bedridden for seven months. I've never seen anyone go downhill so fast before or since; I had to watch her slowly die. I was 17, my nurse mother took an unpaid LOA to care for her.

FF this guy to hell.

Purr, kitty, purr. 🙄. Delusional…

The prompt is Thanksgiving stories, not unrelated November sadness.

The whole family loved aunt betty. Aunt betty was older than anyone else that the younger generations knew. She was some second cousin third removed, but was always invited because she was fun and had a witty tongue. One year she volunteered to make the gravy . The hostess had one of those old-fashioned electric turkey roasters, a sort of giant electric roaster you’d place on your counter just to roast the turkey in. Conveniently once the turkey was done you could simply remove it and then make the gravy from the drippings already int he big roaster. We were watching aunt betty stirring away and gently bitching and chatting like families do waiting for the dinner to be prepared. Betty kept stirring. . . .

Likely another highball of a cocktail later and no headway on the gravy, it was discovered that Aunt Betty had been expertly stirring a cold, not-plugged in pan for the better part of a half hour. Dinner was fine, but late that year and we all teased Aunt betty about that for the rest of her days

Turkeys are hardcore.

Ok these Thanksgiving threads always make my year with laughter! Thank you for starting it earlier and making my life happier. Love you all.

R3

So was I!

My father disliked Thanksgiving due to the fact that it was the day when his mother died. Yet, he always tried to be jovial for the sake of the other guests.

Song makes me chuckle. It applies to Thanksgiving, equally!!! Jill Sobule

My grandmother was in her early 90s (she lived to 97) and starting to loose it mentally. About 20 of us convened at her house every TG, but by this time my mom, aunt and grandfather did all the cooking. We always ate on ad-hock tables and mismatched chairs set up in the downstairs den off the kitchen because they didn’t have an actual dining room.

Back then my nieces and nephews were young and I would decorate for their BD parties - lots of balloons, streamers and cut-outs of whatever character they were into at the time. I did the same at her house for her 90th with a 70s smiley face theme.

Well grandma called me a few days before TG and asked if I was going to decorate for “the party” We had never done anything for TG beyond flowers and candles, but I knew she was getting confused as to why we were all coming over later that week.

The next day I went to a stationary/party store that was on Greenwich, just up the block from the Jefferson Market Library and spent over 200 bucks on every damn Thanksgiving decoration they had.

My grandparents lived upstate so most of us arrived sometime the day before, sleeping on couches, the floor, where ever. That night a cousin helped me decorate. We usually ate off of her wedding china, but I’d bought paper turkey tablecloths, plates and napkins. Crepe turkey centerpieces, cutouts and table glitter; cornucopia mobiles, streamers and tissue fallen leaves; a helium tank and autumnal color balloons. Every inch of the tables, walls and ceiling were over adorned, a balloon floated above each, chair and it looked too over the top to be a set in a John Waters movie.

Right as we were finishing up, grandma opened the door to the den and stuck her face in — she said she wanted a peek before heading off to bed. Her face was wide eyed with delight, like a little child, and she said it was “too beautiful.”

That was her last Thanksgiving at home, before we had to put her in a nursing home.

Back in the late 80s when I was an adolescent, my favorite aunt was hosting the family Thanksgiving dinner.

She had been a housewife all of her life and after her youngest child left for college she got her nursing degree and started working for the first time. With her very first few paychecks she had built a beautiful gazebo built on the edge of the pond in her backyard. She was so proud of that gazebo and her new status as a professional woman.

That Thanksgiving was the first year that deep frying turkeys became a fad and my uncle decided he’d try it out, under the gazebo.

An hour before dinner, without even reading the directions for frying the turkey, my uncle had managed to start the largest and fastest spreading grease fire anyone had ever seen and my aunt’s brand new gazebo was burning like a Roman candle.

In a matter of ten minutes all that was left was a smoldering piles of ashes and the concrete footings it all had been built on. I still remember the grim look on my aunt’s face. I think it broke something in her that I don’t know if she ever really got over.

After stuffing the turkey and putting it into the oven to get hot, dad did the same thing to us…….he stuffed both Lyle and me with his uncut Cuban sausage and then shoved our heads into the fireplace. Lyle’s hairpiece started to smoke, but we saved it by peeing on it. Dad then carved the real turkey with a knife and we ate. For dessert, we blew their heads off while they ate a Mrs. Fields boxed Pumpkin Pie.

Good times.

Thoughtful of the OP to start a Thanksgiving thread two weeks early; we have Thanksgiving weekend here. My family always had the dinner on Sunday and the stat Monday is turkey soup and sandwich day.

As per Marney’s Thanksgiving letter, what is turnip casserole? Is it a classic Thanksgiving side? Is it one of those dishes served with sugar and marshmallows like sweet potato casserole?

Longtime partner died a few days before Thanksgiving in 2008. Thanksgiving was always our favorite holiday, and I'm still fond of it. But even all these years later, it's a very bittersweet time. I usually spend it alone -- not weeping, or anything. I just don't feel like being stuck in someone's house, making endless small talk with people (their relatives) I don't know or care about.

WW for r48 for mentioning Jefferson Market, my favorite place to shop when I lived in NY. Fall was my favorite season in NY.

What did you shop for at a library?

My Mom had an oven with a time-set option. She would put the turkey in the oven and set the oven temp to start at 5:00 am. One TG morning, we discovered she'd forgotten to set the timer option so the turkey was still raw when we woke up at 6 am. She swore a little but everything worked out fine.

One year, after Mom had died, I tried to make a traditional roast beef dinner on TG for my 3 siblings and me. I have a gas oven and Mom had a electric one so I underestimated how long it would take to cook a 2+ lb. beef roast. I wound up cutting it into hunks (very rare in the middle) and sending everyone home with mashed potatoes and green beans. That was the last time I tried to make TG dinner for my family.

That gazebo story, upthread, started out very Hallmark movie and frautastic.

And ended like Stephen King.

How did Marney die? Was she pushed out of a plane ✈️ 👵🏻

Thanks reply 48 for making me ball my eyes out. Bless your sweet grandmother AND your family for making it all, too beautiful for her.

My mom and her husband went to Florida to visit my sister one year and while exploring, found an under-construction golf course community. They spontaneously bought a house and up and moved there the next Spring. Mom always hosted a big Thanksgiving dinner in Ohio, so we panicked. My brother and his fat, cunty wife decided to drive down that week so their kids could have a short vacation, and that started seven years of Thanksgivings in Florida.

Our tradition in Ohio had been to order pizza, drink, and play cards the night before. We usually drank beer, but the first year in Florida, I bought vodka, Kahlua, and half and half, and made White Russians for my sister-in-law, who must have consumed more than dozen of them. We were out on the lanai, next to the pool, when she attempted to stand up from her chair unaware that she was shit-faced. Her arms flailed as she fell backward into the pool, taking her chair, the table, and my mom with her. The upside was that she was too messed up to ruin Thanksgiving the next day, opting to stay in bed almost all day.

So now, when we manage to be in the same place at Thanksgiving, I always bring the stuff to make White Russians, which my mom, brother and I happily enjoy, while the ogre loudly complains that the sight and smell of them make her sick.

^You really dislike your sister-in-law. I fucking hate one of mine, as it is pure evil. White Russians won't work on the bitter lemon face, holy roller. I think it drinks blood. Sickest of all is my brother who says her selfishness was the quality that initially attracted him. Heave!

R61, did you laugh when SIL fell into the pool? I think it’s hilarious that White Russians became a tradition after that debacle.

I've avoided most of my family & extended family for a long time. The last time I went home (had to get on a plane) for Thanksgiving, my low back went out (hadn't been doing anything strenuous) and I got a bad case of constipation.

I love these! Keep them coming please with extra stuffing!

Years ago my mother invited one of her co-workers to Thanksgiving dinner. A woman in her 50s, never married, lived with her mother all her life and her mother had recently died.

She insisted on bringing her famous "creamed onions" even though my mother told her she didn't need to bring anything.

On the day of she barreled right past me when I opened the front door, marched straight into the kitchen, opened her purse and pulled out a sandwich size ziploc bag partially filled with what looked like white vomit. She placed the bag on the kitchen counter and marched out. Creamed onions?

Since it was such a small amount, my mother put the white glop in a small ramekin, heated it up in the microwave and put it in front of this woman's place setting. During the meal, she took the ramekin, ate the contents and then ran her index finger all around the inside of the ramekin and then licked the onion glop off her finger. There was plenty of bread on the table she could have used to sop up her onion glop but no she used her finger.

She was the last person to leave and then insisted I follow behind her in my car to make sure she got home safe even though she lived close by in a very nice neighborhood. My suggestion she just call us when she got home fell upon deaf ears. My mother made me follow her home. She was not invited the following year.

[quote]R52: As per Marney’s Thanksgiving letter, what is turnip casserole? Is it a classic Thanksgiving side? Is it one of those dishes served with sugar and marshmallows like sweet potato casserole?

I too was curious, so I looked it up. It seems there's two methods to turnip casserole, one using mashed turnips with brown sugar, cinnamon and apples/applesauce, and the other more savory. I'm somewhat interested in the savory option, which uses sliced caramelized onion, and slices the turnips on a mandoline, to take a kind of scalloped potatoes approach. A simple béchamel sauce is prepared, using milk, butter, flour, and half-and-half, seasoned with salt, pepper, and fresh thyme, poured throughout the turnip slices and onion. It's baked in a casserole dish until the turnips are soft, and a panko / butter / paprika topping is added and toasted in the oven. Chopped parsley is sprinkled on top before it's served.

I remember the turkey wishbone tradition. I always got the short end of the break.

We always ate at 1:00 p.m. I've kept that tradition.

Too early.

My grandmother had a knack of dirtying every dish and surface possible every holiday. Thanksgiving included. She would cook to exhaustion, and barely eat, one uncle and my mother rotated on dish duty throughout the first 6-8 hours of the day, until Id have packed up all the leftovers, my job, along with the crudités, and charcuterie platters, with a tray of pickles, olives, crackers, I also did the dips. All of which was at best picked over by three to four people. (Big family, just the dinner would be served early, and people didn't want to spoil their appetites.)

Every year there was a fight, with 8 kids, spouses and their kids (me, my cousins) there was always someone having a problem with another.

My birthday was often on it (as a few others here) and I hated it. But, I have one aunt born Dec. 26th, she was the only one who'd remember my birthday aside from my mother and grandmother. Hearing them announce '... and it's Xs birthday!', then getting a 'Happy Birthday ' always made it so weird), I prefer Halloween and Xmas.

Dry ass bird that you first tried to thaw in the microwave prior to baking every last bit out of moisture out of it. I put a forkful in my mouth, chewed and literally was enable to swallow it. You saw me and the others remove the contents of our mouths (your bird) by regurgitating onto plates and spitting into napkins. Don’t you ever ever in your life bake a turkey again!

R18. I was going to ask why you ate one of your guests, but after reading your post, the answer became clear.

R73 is a nazi

We’d see one set of grandparents at Thanksgiving and the other at Christmas.

My southern grandmother drove up to see us for Thanksgiving not long after my grandfather died. She was going to stay a few days.

My mother and uncle watched her come up the walk and they said - ooh she’s mad.

Grandma came in the door and started yelling at them about how far she had to drive (an hour and a half) and she couldn't see the traffic lights. Oh boy.

She was a pill all afternoon and wanted seafood for dinner, so we all went out. She spent the whole meal complaining about the drive and what everyone was wearing. Grandma said she would pay. My mother and uncle ordered lobster. Haha.

The next day, my mom was up early cooking and everyone was watching TV. Grandma started in again. The cat was bothering her and etc etc. She was not usually like this so my father chalked it up to grief.

We had dinner and she was finally quiet and complimented the food. She was having her post-meal cigarette when she accidentally set the napkins on fire, along with part of the tablecloth. My father dumped a bucket of water on the table and my uncle ran around opening windows. The room was a mess, the house smelled like smoke and my mother was fit to be tied. My grandmother kind of backed out, went to her room, grabbed her suitcase and drove away, without saying a word.

R61 here. Mt sister-in-law is a shrew. One year, and only one year, she hosted Thanksgiving in the early 90s. Her company gave each employee a big frozen Turkey the Friday before. They lived way out in the country.

Dinner was to be at 5:00. It was a two hour drive for me, so I called around 2:00 to say that I was leaving and asked if I could pick up anything for the dinner. She said she’d forgotten to get dinner rolls, so I said I’d find some to bring. My niece wanted to say hi, so she handed her the phone. I told my niece that I was excited to see her, etc. and commented that the house must smell good already. She said, no, why? I said, well, the turkey should be smelling good soon enough!

I arrived about 4:30, since I stopped for rolls and it’d started to snow. I drove up their driveway and parked when I noticed my mom and aunt on the back porch arguing. I got out and asked what was going on, and learned that my stupid sister-in-law didn’t start to defrost that huge turkey until the night before and that she hadn’t even put it in the oven until my aunt got there just before 4:00. And it was still frozen.

There were no snacks or appetizers. When we finally sat down to eat at 8:00, the turkey was burnt on the outside and still bloody inside. She make instant mashed potatoes, but bought only two packets to serve twelve people. Two cans of corn, one packet of gravy mix. It was a disaster. The only edible stuff was a green bean casserole. So we used the dinner rolls I brought, with bits of the cooked turkey (breast meat; the thighs and legs were still raw) with canned cranberry gel, to make what today you’d call sliders. Those and a spoonful of corn, green bean casserole, potatoes and a teaspoon of gravy each was our dinner. Oh, and all the Blue Bonnet oleo you wanted!

We didn't watch football.

Barely watched the parade.

Turkey with homemade stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, hubbard squash, rolls, green olives and sweet mixed pickles. Fresh baked apple pie for desert.

I had a friend who worked fairly high up at Herald Square, so he would get me four grandstand tickets for the Parade every year.

For a dozen Thanksgivings I’d collect various nieces and nephews Wednesday afternoon, take them out to a boisterous dinner and then get everyone settled on the floor of my studio apt with comic books & games. Get them all up, dressed and on the subway by 8 - take our seats, and enjoy the Parade.

By the time I got them to my mother’s house around two I was happily exhausted and my Thanksgiving was basically over — the dinner there was just a coda.

bump

Dump

My father would get drunk every Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s like clockwork. We usually went to relatives homes to celebrate. Dad was an embarrassing drunk and I hated him for that. Then the next day he would be hungover and angry at the world. It was because his dad was a mean drunk and abusive towards his family. He complained to us about his father and yet he behaved just like him. Even now I dread the winter holiday season. Very few good memories.

A couple memorable college Thanksgivings. I didn’t have the money to go home freshman year, so a friend invited me down to her family’s home on the Alabama/Tennessee border. Their style was to cook everything, set it on the counter, then everyone just ate where they wanted, ie in front of the TV. Hey, it worked. We all ate pie for breakfast the next morning.

Right after I graduated I went to a friend’s house for the big meal and one of her Visions pans exploded on the stove. Thank god we were weren’t in the kitchen.

True Life, a la the above:

A memorable college Thanksgiving:. I didn’t have the money to go home, so a fraternity brother invited me out to his family’s vacation home near Lake Tahoe. Their style was to cook everything, sit down to dinner, and then everyone just got shitfaced on whiskey and brandy—plus they smoked joints on the front porch with a western view of the sunset. Hey, it worked…until. I woke up at 1:30 am and did a power vomit all over the guest bathroom. My friend’s mom saw me trying to clean the wall and asked “is everything OK dear?” Being my mother’s son, as soon as we got back to campus, I sent a thank you/apology card, and told my fraternity brother to pick flowers to send. I remained humiliated for a few decades after. They were so nice, too.

[quote] 2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).

The passive-aggressive Peppermint Bark (yum!!) request? GFY, Marney.

[quote] The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)

I love you, Amy Misto

All of these years later and I've just purchased a new countertop turkey roaster. Fingers crossed.

You need to finish it under the broiler for a nice crispy skin.

R83, that's the one big thing I miss about a family Thanksgiving meal. My grandmother, then mother, made 3 sweet potato pies for Thanksgiving desert. When my Mom could't cook anymore, I made the pies, using my grandmother's recipe. Sweet potato pie with coffee was always my breakfast for a day or two after Thanksgiving.

Aunt Ceil, who suffered from mental illness, invariably brought her green jello mold slime stuff. I was warned to stay clear of it (and its maker) at a very early age.

Remember when companies used to give their employees free turkeys? Do any companies still do that?

Dry bird. Makes family choke. Get lectured and cussed out.

r90 I never got one, and I worked for a major supermarket chain. The bastard PTB begrudged us everything. 🤨

Reply 87, Thank you!!

Nothing like a Datalounge thread for the miserable to congregate. I too was raised in a home with family members who drank too much and made a scene/spectacle. My dad died in the 90s and mom took up with a nice man who was drinker, just like her.

For a number years I bounced around at T'giving... my sister's in-laws home, the son of my mothers new man...

Then, after complaining to a friend about the holiday, he invited me to his home for the day. I happily accepted and for the 10 or 12 years, spent Thanksgiving with friends and strangers (some of whom became friends).

I had no idea that the day could be so relaxed, unemotional, and enjoyable. The rule for the day? No TV.

My friend the host died unexpectedly years ago. A small group of us still meet for the day and continue the tradition. Again, no TV.

Some would call this "Friendsgiving" - I don't because I'm thankful for my friend, I'm thankful for those who chose to continue the tradion and invited me to join, and am very thankful for the friendships I forged so long ago.

I look forward to the day and this year will bring a two-layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting... a King Arthur recipe.

[quote]a two-layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting... a King Arthur recipe.

Now that's a dessert I can give thanks for. Pecan pie, not so much.

6 guys at once

It was going to be a small Thanksgiving with my father and two sisters (my mother died 10 years earlier); my brothers were with their wives' families. My father went into the hospital two days before, my one sister got violently ill on Thanksgiving Eve, and my other sister hated turkey so we sat in the kitchen, the two of us, eating an overdone roast and some canned vegetables. The hospital called that night saying my father was in trouble. He died on Saturday (my one brother's birthday.). I've had plenty of nice holidays, sweet and sentimental, but that one -- over 30 years ago -- has always haunted me and I have trouble getting over how wretched those five days were.

My mother, sister and I accepted an invitation to cousins whom I have referred to over time as Mortwell and Vilifica.

They lived in a huge, decaying house in Tuxedo Park.

When we got there Vilifica offered us a quick bite of some a cheese cube on a cracker that had been slathered with hot pepper/lava jam. She explained that it would raise our body temperatures so we wouldn't notice the house was unheated.

The dog had two legs and lived in a basket in the fireplace.

To save on electricity, they had cunningly replaced the chandelier in the dining room with florescent lights bright enough to illuminate a medical airport.

The menu included deviled frogs legs, lobster sorbet and feta salad tossed with snails.

The food was so salty my lips began chapping.

The rest of the guests - Mortwell's side of my mother's family, mostly - ranged in pleasantness from "not very" to "lycanthropic".

A young lady promised us a Theremin concert with brandy and coffee in the library. We secretly made plans to leave as soon as we could.

After dinner we were ushered out to admire the recently restored goblin-garden, full of Gothic gargoyle fragments and bits of old 14th century cloisters festooned with fairy-lights.

Soon it began to rain and we all caught colds.

The booze was top shelf, I must say.

R96 Were you stuffed by the time dessert rolled around?

Let’s hear more…these are great

I used to post here every year about my family debating who fathered MJ's kids every year, and how after he passed every sentence ended with "God rest his soul". We don't talk about MJ any more because we barely talk these days. COVID and politics really did a number on the family dynamics. I long for the days when my uncle would leave us annoyingly locked into a fifteen to twenty minute prayer as we all did mental math of how long we would need to microwave our food in order to get it back warm. Only for my brother-in-law to insist that no one microwave his brisket because it will "denature the meat".

My first Thanksgiving after my father died (he passed the previous August) was on a naval amphibious assault ship in Hong Kong. We had pulled into port that Wednesday and I had watch. The next day I left as soon as I could. I hated shipboard life. Wasn’t about to stay on the ship waiting for their dry-ass turkey, so I went ashore to get a hotel room so I could take a real bath called home from my hotel room in Kowloon. My mother was drunk and depressed and my older brother was high and depressed; his girlfriend had just told him that she was pregnant. Mom wanted me to come home and I couldn’t. I knew that people could get hardship orders or even discharged. But I didn’t do that. So I walked the streets of Hong Kong, even meeting up with some sailors from the British Navy. They were nice enough but the oldest man there was whining about England handing HK back to China in 1997 (it was 1984), saying terrible things about Chinese people. The younger ones left and it was just us. So we’re sitting there talking and he casually asked me to come back to his barracks for some beer and “whatever”. He had a leer. Not ugly but the teeth…like candy corn. Besides, my brain was very much back home in Philadelphia with Mon and Brother, so I turned him down and walked back to my hotel in the rain, crying for a million reasons. Found a liquor store and got a bottle of rum, ordered room service and cried some more. One of the worst Thanksgivings I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a lot of bad ones.

Aww, r102, that really does sound like a bad T'giving day.

Hopefully, the intervening years have given you more joyous T'giving days.

Also, you being in the navy got mama's mussy a little moist! Love a lad in uniform.

r102 Being in the military on any major holiday can be especially hard, but even more so for those in the community. I am Army and felt every word of your story. Well except for being female. It is hard, I hope this year goes better for you.

More turkey, Mr Chandler?

Thanks r103 & r104.

I might flash my pussy during dinner

R107 = Helen Lawson.

I was excited the first year I graduated from the kids' card tables to the adult table.

But after a few minutes I realized I had much more in common with my cousins than I did with my aunts and uncles.

bump

I'm single and I cook for the same group of single friends every Thanksgiving and have done so for years.

A couple of years ago, a member of this group never responded to my many phone/text/email requests for him to confirm whether he was coming or not. I actually didn't think anything of it as he had recently started dating someone and he ALWAYS disappears when he meets the new "love of his life" and then reappears after they break up.

I found out a few days after Thanksgiving that the new guy had dumped this friend a few days before Thanksgiving and he spent Thanksgiving eating a Turkey Bowl from Wawa in the Wawa parking lot. I was sorry to hear this and also surprised to learn Wawa is open on Thanksgiving.

^Actually, I hear the Turkey bowls at Wawa are quite delicious!

This is the first year I'll be spending Thanksgiving alone and...I'm kind of looking forward to it. My sister always overcooks and then goes on a rampage trying to get dinner on the table, while my BIL & nephews sleep or sit around in front of the telly. My elderly mom is on her phone all day (because heaven forfend something should happen in MAGA-ville & she doesn't immediately know about it). So I intend to have a quiet day, go for hike and then watch a bunch of Christmas movies. Maybe I should feel sad about that, but I don't

Nothing wrong with being home alone, r112, it can be very relaxing and satisfying.

The Wawa turkey bowls are good! I felt bad he didn't call me, even if it was the night before. Also, that he sat in the Wawa parking lot and ate it while chugging from a half gallon of Wawa iced tea (their iced tea is good too!).

I'm looking forward to reading about the Eldergay who reminisces about his youth when the Indians brought maize to the first dinner.

If you tried to eat my ass I wouldn’t be a bit surprised

I used to love open faced turkey sandwiches with gravy the next day. My grandmother's gravy was the best.

We'd go to my grandparents every year. My grandfather would pull out dusty bottles of brown liquor that hadn't been consumed since 1968 or so, and set them on the kitchen counter as kind of a makeshift bar. As a high school freshman, I thought it would be a grand idea to sneak off to the kitchen while the adults were chatting over pie and glug down several long swills of whiskey so I could brag to my friends about getting drunk.

I then returned to the table. I felt incredibly dizzy and then projectile vomited undigested whiskey across the table -- in my memory, it was a majestic arc, like a vomit rainbow -- and it splattered all over my grandmother's tablecloth, china, and my aunt's dessert....just tons of it everywhere. I got screamed at the entire way home by my mother...my dad found it somewhat funny...and grounded for the weekend (and was supposed to see "The Running Man' in the theater with friends.) while my younger sister smirked. It was many many years before I could stand whiskey.

[quote] As an adult I have often also made lasagne on Thanksgiving, it just brings back good memories. - OP

Is it any different from others you make throughout the year? Is there a holiday version… and is it your aunt’s recipe?

Made lasagna = bought the Great Value brand from Walmart and heated it up.

Try America's Test Kitchen Skillet Lasagna. It won't disappoint and there's very litle clean up involved afterward. As with many dishes like this, it tastes better the next day.

I love my America’s Test Kitchen cookbooks, published as the series ‘The Best Recipe.’

When they go into the exhaustively minute adjustments they’ve tried, I always giggle. They’ll note, “Our testers and staff really felt that 1/16 of a teaspoon of Carraway seeds added to the final mix, combined with lowering the heat by 2 degrees while ALSO opening a window, made all the difference in achieving a proper nutty aftertaste” … and I imagine someone cracking under pressure, howling, “It tastes the same to me! God in heaven, it tastes exactly the same!” and then being dragged out.

[quote]R120 Try America's Test Kitchen Skillet Lasagna.

I will.

Tho this reminds me that I have always wanted to try something from Carol Lawrence’s cookbook. It’s recipes from her Italian mom, Signora Laraia from Potenza.

Her meat sauce recipe looked intimidating.

My 2024 story has already begun. Today, Safeway overcharged me $15.00 on my 19 lb. Butterball. Had an other engagement so I drove around with the damned, frozen bird in my trunk all afternoon. Yes, I finally went back for my $15.00. I felt compelled to so. Safeway sucks. I think I'm going to drink.

bump

[quote]One relative would drink the water left in the pot after cooking corn. He would also drink any leftover corn fluids from the serving bowl.

We could only dream of such a feast, although one year it rained.

R124 Trump has saved you $15 from Biden’s inflated turkey prices!

I’m the one upthread with the grandma that lit the table on fire. She was a sweet woman and I want to redeem her a bit.

After my mom (her daughter) died a few years later, she would cook a ton of food for us and invite others to stop in and make a plate.

When my father remarried and started making terrible choices financially, he brought my brother and I to her house to eat, minus the new stepmother and stepbrother.

My grandmother took him out on the porch and lit into him so hard he started crying. Of course he didn’t listen but I remember being impressed with her vocabulary.

Bump

When I was a kid my nonna made capon instead of turkey. Her stuffing/dressing was not traditional American bread stuffing/dressing, it was more egg-y than bread-y. I didn't like the stuffing.

The food became more Americanized after nonna handed over Thanksgiving hosting and cooking duties to my mother and aunt.

There was the time that Uncle Clyde got caught fingering the cooked Turkey.

R130 - my grandparents served a traditional turkey dinner, but my grandfather also made “Italian Stuffing”. It was served as a side dish in a casserole and had sausage meat, breadcrumbs and egg - not set, like a quiche and much more crumbly than scrambled eggs. I loved it.

Yes, the Italian "stuffing" was as you describe. I almost wanted to describe it as a frittata. I didn't appreciate it at all as a kid but I would love it now.

We also had it catered the last 10-15 years as my mom and aunt got older. So much better. Nobody cares anymore about 'your' version of X - just enjoy each other's company, eat, have some wine, dessert - then get the fuck out.

We incorporated a 5 hour max time limit rule for family get togethers - and that works out so well. No languishing around far too long in the evening, hoping some people would just shut the fuck up - no thinking - how do we get out of here, when can we leave?

5 hours is ideal - one hour to arrive and have appetizers, drinks, eat during hours 2-3. Clean table. Talk some more. Dessert around hour 4. Then more conversation and wrap it up.

Love Thanksgiving! And I love it best when it is not at my home but a fancy friend’s home or a nice restaurant

Love these Thanksgiving stories!

r112, sounds great to me. I am planning to stay home alone on Thanksgiving. I told my family I was spending it with friends and told friends I would be with my family. Truth is I don't want to travel anywhere and either friends or family would be a 90 minute drive. I'll either play golf or go hiking in the morning, fix a nice early dinner and open a bottle of wine I've been saving and spend the afternoon/evening watching movies and hanging out with my dog.

Early aughts, I’m mid 20s, aimless and spending Thanksgiving at my Aunt Bev’s McMansion in the suburbs. Aunt Bev, a woman whose personality is 50% Costco membership, has insisted on hosting. She’s also the kind of person who watches the Food Network religiously but still manages to make everything taste like wet cardboard.

The turkey’s overcooked because she “forgot to thaw it,” so it’s been microwaved, roasted and basically tortured into something resembling turkey jerky. The sides are what you’d expect from a person who thinks cream of mushroom soup is a flavor profile: gloopy, beige, soul crushing.

Mid meal, my mom makes some offhand comment about how my sister’s new apartment is “super cute.” Bev, who hasn’t been invited to see it, gets weirdly defensive, saying something like “well, I guess I’m just not important enough to warrant a tour.” My sister tries to laugh it off, but Bev’s already spiraling into her classic martyr routine (which we are treated to every year).

Things hit peak dysfunction during dessert. My cousin AJ, fresh off a failed attempt at sobriety, announces he got fired, blaming “HR policies” or something equally insipid. My mom is visibly stressed, my stepfather starts discreetly pouring scotch into his coffee, and Bev eventually bursts into tears, bellowing “why can’t anyone just appreciate all the work I do!?” before locking herself in the laundry room.

The night ends with me sitting on the couch, holding a plastic plate of congealed pumpkin pie, while my grandma asks me why I’m still single in that tone that implies… she knows. I leave early, smelling like turkey grease and other people’s resentment.

Now I spend Thanksgiving alone, eating Chinese takeout and watching The Sopranos. It’s better this way.

Many many years ago, I went to my SIL's uncle Joe's house for Thanksgiving. He'd been a cook in the navy and was super Italian. Not knowing what an Italian holiday dinner would mean, I feasted on the platter after platter of lasagna, meatballs, and baked ziti. As I felt I was about to explode, THEN Joe brings out a huge turkey and a baked ham for "dinner". Great cook, and a wonderful man (RIP) but I never had a Thanksgiving dinner like that before or since.

bump

People joke about their crazy uncles at Thanksgiving, but I got a crazy aunt. My aunt told me, with a straight face, that Walmart had underground tunnels used for abducting children. I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not, so I went along with it. I said I even heard they’re using Elon Musk’s hyperloop to shuttle the children from store to store. She didn’t even flinch. She next asked what my opinion was on women wearing yoga pants out in public. I told her this trend has been hard on a lot of guys. She didn’t catch my innuendo and just nodded. It didn’t stop there, but those were the highlights of this evening with my aunt.

My mother instigated a fight with her sister because she didn't want her over for Thanksgiving this year however , my aunt and her husband have decided to keep the invite despite not having spoken to my mom for 3 weeks now sonce that fight. My mom is fuming. I know there will be fireworks this Thanksgiving.

R1, I'm here.