Let's be a British seacoast resort!

I'm the rocky beaches covered with freezing water.

I’m the Admiral Benbow

I'm the bracing quality of Skegness.

I am also fucking shit.

I am 400 cubic tones of discarded chips paper.

I'm one of the fat seagulls stealing everyones hot chips.

I'm a stag/hen party featuring penis hats and cross-dressing.

Hear my pig-like squeals of drunken jubilation for miles up and down the "shingle".

I'm the fulsome-toothed aristocrats "sunning" themselves on the Lido, miles away from the UK's dreary beaches.

We are nearly as obnoxious and trashy as those left at home.

I am the searing hideousness of the architecture.

I’m the Yorkshire Pudding served with Sunday roast at the local pub.

I'm the complete lack of natural OR manmade beauty.

I'm hundreds of old people staring silently out at the sea.

I'm the music video for Black's "Wonderful Life" which make the desolate ugliness of the British coastal towns seem hauntingly beautiful.

I'm part of the family looking for cockles in Morecambe Bay. Nothing like a free feed every now and again.

I’m Weston-super-Mare where they filmed that awful seriocomedy show with those terrible actors a few years back.

I'm the recently arrived migrant who has just been arrested for murdering a lesbian on the beach.

I"m the haggard parent with the crying child, a fish hook berried deeply his bloodied arm.

I’m the local chippy serving battered cod or haddock with mushy peas, buttered white bread, and undercooked greasy chips drowned in malt vinegar.

[quote]I’m Weston-super-Mare where they filmed that awful seriocomedy show with those terrible actors a few years back.

I remember when the first time I saw the play "Noises Off" and I encountered "Weston-super-Mare" that I thought it was a made-up name.

R16, please read your comment then get back to us.

Is Brighton really that bad? The old Brit skank around the corner was from Brighton, she was a bitch.

I'm the undercliff, where I was seen not twice, but thrice!

I’m Filey. I’m quiet and charming, with some stunning Victorian architecture, a beautiful 12th century church, a few nice places to eat and some interesting shops.

Most of the town is perched on the cliffs above the spotless sands of the expansive beach. Charlotte Bronte liked to find a spot on these cliffs from which to watch the North Sea waves batter against the coast.

I am Fawlty Towers the only good thing that ever came out of a British seaside resort.

What is "fulsome-toothed"??

I'm the young honeymooners discovering their tragic sexual incompatibility and, subsequently, a lifetime of regrets.

"experiencing a lifetime of regrets."

I’m Bram Stoker, wandering amongst the ruins of Whitby Abbey and imagining all sorts of similarly gothic settings for the story of a bloodthirsty, undead aristocrat which is beginning to form in my mind.

I’m the water that’s too fucking come to swim in even at the height of summer.

I’m Bamburgh. I’m a tiny village. My castle has been here for 1400 years, but it is still less impressive than the natural beauty of the beach and the big skies of Northumberland.

I’m trudging slowly over wet sand, back to the bench where your clothes were stolen…

I'm tacky Pleasure Beach in Blackpool

"The Café" was the name of that crummy Weston-super-Mare television series.

Simply awful.

I'm an American who's never even set foot in the UK.

R32, I'm Google, Google Maps and the entirety of British media for the last 120 years.

I'm why no one needs doubt that the British seacoast resort is, by-and-large, an appallingly grim hellscape.

I thought all the Brits went to Spain now.

I’m the candy floss and chewy sweets.