THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY SEASON 5 PREMIERES SEPT 18TH

Bronwyn is giving Erika Jayne vibes

How do they have time to film having 8-10 children each, like good mormons do?

So glad these crazy bitches are back!

Angie still tries too hard.

[quote]How do they have time to film having 8-10 children each, like good mormons do?

Meredith and Heather have 3 kids, and for the most part, they are grown.

Lisa, Bronwin and Whitney have two; Angie and Mary only have one.

[quote]Meredith and Heather have 3 kids, and for the most part, they are grown. Lisa, Bronwin and Whitney have two; Angie and Mary only have one.

Well, that makes sense that they're not good mormons. The show would probably be boring if they were. It also probably makes for good drama to point out each and every instance where they're in conflict with being good mormons.

Mary made my season first episode. "Oh great she is sitting next to me, She might try to put a roll in my purse."

Mary came to play this season. Looks like she gets involved in lots of the drama and has a falling out with Meredith.

Mary made me laugh out loud several times this episode.

"I never said I was poor..."

No responses on last night?

When is there going to be a Real Housewives of Amish country?

Last night's episode was ok. The usual hilarious comments from Lisa, Meredith and Mary. Brittani is a mess and not in a fun way. Bronwyn is a great addition. So far.

Gawd that outfit she was wearing when the decorator came over. Let me wear something that gives me massive camel toe, a large fupa and makes my hips look even wider! Fashion!

Mary and the tampon. I'm dead.

WTF with this Brittani person..who cares about her? Just because she’s a sometime fuck piece for an Osmond?

And then the other chick who’s been popped in a few times..Millie? Zzzzz

I like Bronwyn so far. Apparently she’s the only HW Christian Siriano will dress, because she’s the only one who pays..

Bronwyn needs to learn that just because something is ridiculously expensive it doesn't make it attractive. Same for home decor. Yikes!

Yes, Christian was on WWHL and said Bronwyn is a long time customer and made her custom confessional looks, Umm..I would not brag. Her style is HIDEOUS.

I can't watch anything with Mormons in it - they're all so fucked up and culty with no self awareness about it.

It's painful to watch.

Bronwyn's style is horrible...and I cannot stop looking. Her confessional looks in the latest episode were really bizarre. I like her as a character.

Brittani and the other one seem like Housewives who didn't cut it once filming started so they were edited down to 'friends of.'. They'll probably disappear by mid season.

Brittani needs to be in therapy instead of on TV.

I chuckled when the ladies raised their eyebows at going to Milwaukee. Uh, you do know where you live, right?

Do Meredith’s kids do anything aside from hanging out at the rental house?

R22, Milwaukee is wayyyyy more rundown than Salt Lake City. Typical rustbelt blues. I like it but it's the truth.

Perhaps. But it’s not like SLC is some hotbed of art and culture.

R24, true.

[quote]I can't watch anything with Mormons in it - they're all so fucked up and culty with no self awareness about it. It's painful to watch.

Funny how you could replace "Mormon" with "MAGA" and the description applies to both of them.

Better Mormons than Jehovah's Witnesses or Scientologists.

The tried to do the Real Housewives of Scientology but they kept disappearing after once confessional.

Next week: special appearance by Jared Osmond. Mary just keeps on delivering. She's is fucking hilarious. Bronwyn calming putting Britani in her place was delightful.

Jen Shah's prison sentence reduced again. She'll be released Dec '27. Probably halfway house before that.

^^^Don't worry, she's still in my list of contacts. There's still a spot for her once she's done with prison and able to film again.

I think RHOLSC has the most consistent cast of any of the American housewives shows, on par with Melbourne. I don't hate any of them (minus Jen Shah who I pretend is dead now).

Yes, this cast is entertaining, and the ones I hate, I hate in a fun way. Like Lisa Barlow. She’s a trash human, but she’s entertaining to watch. Unlike the entire terrible OC cast or all these boring new women on Potomac.

None of the cast members with the exception of Mary strike me as trash humans. Have you seen Mary's son? Good lord.

Is none watching this season?

Last night was pure chaos and I loved it. Bronwyn fits perfectly with this group and Mary continues to deliver. For me, this show has yet to have a bad season.

Mary is a cult leader and possibly insane but Bravo does not care about that because she is ratings gold. Look at Shannon Bedor. Bravo continues to hire her even though she is having a mental breakdown, is unstable and a possible alcoholic. Andy once said if you skip the reunion you are off the show. Mary missed a reunion because they were going to talk about her cult. Gee, guess who is back.

If the show is still on the air when Jen Shah is released they'll bring her back, too.

WTF? Mary's son and his "wife" are clearly high on Oxy, heroin or some other opioid in all their scenes. Bravo is WAY beyond pushing the limit on airing this footage of him. He'll likely be dead inside 12 months. Sickening.

R39. SURPRISE!

Another great episode and next week looks insane.

Ugh, I hate when they involve the husbands this much.

Lisa's husband struggling to parallel park was odd. I thought it had to be Mary at first. Wonder who he pissed off in editing for them to include it?

R42, Justin wants to be a housewife so badly. The most desperate husband since Slade or Peter Thomas. And his glaringly white chiclet teeth aren't helping.

John Barlow IS odd. But endearing.

Let's see you survive being married to Gorgon like Lisa

THAT'S IT I AM CALLING MY SECURITY. I WANT THE POLICE INVOLVED. YOU CALLED ME A GORGON. i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT IT BETTER BE A FABULOUS RICH WOMAN. FUCK ALL OF YOU I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN ALL OF YOU.

And the winner for most dramatic acting in a reality TV show is ....... Lisa Barlow from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City!

She can be a bit much and emotionally over the top at times, but good reality shows need at least one person like that in the cast.

R48, that's why she kills me. Like when she called her (what looked like) 20 lawyers when Jen Shah was arrested lol.

Lisa needs to go on a "hilling" journey because she comes off as mentally ill. Her screeching into her phone that she wanted to "go the distance" with the police in SLC and NYC because Whitney accused her of something was ridiculous and made her look guilty AF. Also, both her and John thinking that Justin owed them an apology shows how out of touch they are.

John Barlow is so seriously whipped.

R51, he is. Lisa is obviously very controlling. But I also have no doubt that she and John love each other.

HOW DARE YOU I AM NOT CONTROLLNG. JOHN! GET ME A DIET COKE WHILE I HAVE AN INVESTIGATION OPENED ON THIS DATALOUNGE. I WANT THE POLICE INVOLVED.

Surprise! Britani is an actress!

Last night's episode was crazy. CRAZY GOOD! Todd is giving controlling Tom Giraldi vibes. Lisa upset at flying Coach was hilarious. It was all just too much.

Todd is an abusive asshole. If you go to reddit, Bronwyn is the latest hyped housewife and everything she does is magic. Many people are defending Todd, just because he went after Lisa. He will be exposed eventually, it's just a matter of time.

blehk, more reality TV

Todd cannot be that controlling. Look at their house. If he was controlling it would not look like a crayola box exploded in it.

If ever there was a time when a one hour escape from real reality is needed, R57, its right now.

Lisa is a perfect example of someone who makes great TV, but you would absolutely want nothing to do with in real life. Also, if Todd is controlling, then what is Lisa? John is obviously whipped beyond belief.

Lisa is controlling but Todd seems like the type who is abusive at the home.

[quote]Last night's episode was crazy. CRAZY GOOD! Todd is giving controlling Tom Giraldi vibes. Lisa upset at flying Coach was hilarious. It was all just too much.

Lisa is always overdramatic. Seth's "B-I-A-T-C-H!" outburst at the dinner table was unexpected and hilarious. Shawn is hot with a great body, but he comes across as a little bitchy and dumb.

[quote]Todd cannot be that controlling. Look at their house. If he was controlling it would not look like a crayola box exploded in it.

Don't forget the earlier episode when there was dog shit to step over. If they have a housekeeper, her ass need to be fired.

Justin's veneers are so ridiculous. It's the only thing I notice when he's onscreen.

The more I see of Shawn the more I hope he's not gay.

Todd didn't want to be on TV and it shows.

Bronwynn should have asked everyone to reveal their net worth. Not one of them except maybe Angie and Seth would have answered.

I thought Shawn handled that conversation with Meredith very well. He was calm and logical, to which Meredith, of course, had no response. Seth's BIATCH moment was so obviously done to create a "moment." Plus pointing to some blog headline as "proof" was beyond stupid.

And god, could Lisa be any more basic? The food in Italy is "too fresh?" I guess when you live on Wendy's and diet Coke, it probably is an assault on her taste buds. I also love how devoted mother Lisa was anxious to get back to Henry, but was willing to reroute and delay her entire trip home to avoid sitting in coach for 50 minutes. What a pretentious hag.

[quote] I also love how devoted mother Lisa was anxious to get back to Henry, but was willing to reroute and delay her entire trip home to avoid sitting in coach for 50 minutes. What a pretentious hag.

And that's why she's a great housewife!

It always cracks me up seeing these bitches wearing some wildly over the top desinger outfit to go confront a castmate in the parking lot of a Salt Lake City shopping center in that’s covered in dirty snow.

I love how Angie let Shawn handle Meredith all by himself. She didn't feel the need to jump in and start screaming. And that's why they probably have a happy and successful marriage.

That and Shawn gets to fuck guys on the side. Notice Angie said his favourite position was "from behind" and "the greeks invented it."

I hate when people use "cheers" as a verb. Cheers is an exclamation. Toast is a verb.

I love any episode that features a Meredith Marks meltdown.

^Brooks^

I never thought I’d feel sorry for Mary Crosby, but tonight was really sad.

When is it going to be the season where they kill them all off.

Careful. Lisa will get her cybersecurity team after you.

I was saddened by Mary's scene with Robert Jr. I did shed a tear or two. I hope she gets him to rehab.

R77. Andy said on WWHL that he spoke with Mary and Robert Jr is doing better. I swear when Robert Jr said Mary was the only reason he didn't kill himself I lost it.

That scene was heartbreaking. Because he was still high as a kite. Mary escaped from her life piling expensive clothing around her like a modern Miss Havisham and raising her boy to buy Prada for his high school girlfriend. She obviously loves the kid but man, what a disasterous example she has set for him.

I truly hope he is able to heal and live a happy life.

Former fat camp attendee, Jill Zarin’s daughter Ally, weighs in on the Mary/Robert Jr scene.

Lisa and Mary are both in my top 10 housewives of all time. Mary is especially high up there. We've never seen anyone like her on tv. That's not entirely a compliment, but it does speak to how fascinating she is. Seriously, one of the first crazy things she said on the show was "your aunt smells like hospital". Even the best comedy writer couldn't come up with that!

^^^We didn't squash the whole hospital smell dispute, but they recently reduced my sentence for a second time with a release date of December 19, 2027. I shall return to finish the argument and clear my name. Just wait.

R82. I wouldn't be surprised if she gets another sentence reduction or two between now and then. Apparently Jen is a model prisoner with a great attitude and she's expressed remorse.

Jen is besties in the slammer with Elizabeth Holmes.

Heather should leave the state and assume another identity when Jen gets out.

Jen is out in basically 2 years?!!

R85. 3 years. Possibly less.

I hated Jen. I never thought she was good tv. I always thought everyone else on the show minus Whitney was more interesting. She was just exhausting. I know she will be back on our screens in no time though.

The other women have already said they would welcome Jen back and Meredith said she spoke with her recently so they've reconnected.

What happens in a year when Robert sobers up and realizes he couldn't have really given consent to film that.

R89, that's what I'm questioning as well.

Agreed, r89. Mary is a piece of shit.

This is the sort of story he can tell after having been in therapy and rehab for a while of his own volition.

Appearing on TV high as a kite describing cocaine use and suicidal ideation will be on YouTube forever.

I have two thoughts concerning Mary. Fuck Bravo for running credits over that incredibly emotional scene. Fuck Meredith for making it about her on WWHL (I could've helped if I had known).

Ok. WTF was Lisa wearing at the Aquarium?

I laughed out loud when Heather said that she didn't trust Bronwyn not to say something about her if she got up from a table. Uh, bitch, you have talked about everyone behind their backs. Get real.

Mary is going to be on WWHL Wed night.

Another insane episode but Brittani is a terrible actress. She can't even keep a straight face.

That Brittani has to go..

I like Brittani, she makes me laugh. I know lots of people hate it when people "act" on these shows but as long as the person is fully committed to their performace, I don't care. Like Aviva. She made incredible tv. The only reason she acted the way she did was because she was told she was boring and she would get fired unless she turned it up. And she did. St. Barts is legendary because of her' "quite frankly, you're both white trash." I mean, at one point she was freaking quoting Jack Nicholson in an argument, the woman was hilarious.

Brittani's parents caught on to the weird spelling names trend way before today's era of Madisyn, Hayleigh, Tiffani, Lyndsee, etc.

Angie and Lisa sitting next to Andy at the reunion. Shocked Mary didn't get one of the prime seats. Looks like Brittani will be there for the entire reunion since she's on the chart at the very end right across from Whitney.

I'm surprised that Torah didn't burst into flames with Meredith's horrible reading. Did she spend 5 minutes preparing? Awful.

You slut shamed my hair!

The slut hair argument may be one of the best fights ever. All it was missing was Brittani throwing a wiglet at Angie. Also shocked that that Osmond attention-whore douche wasn't there to get his face on camera.

r102 that was the most produced drama I have ever seen. Brittini is a non event on this show. The main cast laughs at her. I guess Angie needed someone to spar with. I mean who gets mad at "well you have slut hair..." I would say 'THANKS! Just bought it!"

Does Meredith had some kind of speech impediment? She has a bizarre cadence.

Why can’t Seth find employment where they live? Or should I say, where they RENT.

R104, it's all the Xanax.

R105 - Whitney

R106, "I don't do pills bitch, you do!"

R103, I don't feel it was produced, at least by Beverly Hills standards. I may be in the minority here, but I find Brittani hilarious.

The way I understand it, Seth moved the family around every couple of years-he works as an executive at downmarket retailers, most of whom are dead or dying (Sears, Big Lots, Tuesday Morning, Overstock.com). He’s back at Big Lots now.

He moved the family to Salt Lake City when he got a Senior VP position at Overstock, and 2 years later, he got a position at Sears in Chicago. Meredith told him when this happened in 2015 that she was done moving the family, so they haven’t really lived together in 9 years.

I love Brittani.

r110 hi Brittani. Seth is brought in to failing companies to sell them off.

Jen's jail time reduced again. She'll be out November, 2027.

So Monica and Heather should go on the run or enter Witness Protection in November 2027. Film it and it sounds like a fun spinoff.

This season is insane. Bronwyn getting mauled by a dog at the park was an unexpected twist.

r114 did you catch her missing teeth? WTF was that.

R115. No idea. They fell out on their own. I had nothing to do with it.

Bronwyn is really fake but I like her. She clearly came on the show with the aim to take Lisa down.

I wouldn't be surprised if Lisa or Angie were behind the dog attack on Bronwyn. An orchestrated chomp.

R118 has high body count hair.

r119 YOU CAN LEAVE!!!!!

Brittani was a guest on WWHL last night. I have a feeling she'll be a full time hw next season.

R120, you exploited her vagina!

R121, she's earned it.

[quote]Brittani was a guest on WWHL last night. I have a feeling she'll be a full time hw next season.

No way Miss Porn Tits is getting a snowflake.

I’ll have the Greek mafia take care of that!

Angie’s propwork is always clunky and awkward, it makes me laugh

Whitney and Heather were pretty quiet during dinner. They've been eclipsed by Bronwyn and Angie.

OK, just saw the latest episode and Bronwyn is really becoming exhausting now. Jesus Christ, she really DOES love riding Lisa's dick. More than she knows. She came into this season trying to take her down and Lisa actually handles her really well.

I just love the fact she went to Angie and Whitney to complain about being stuck with Anige and Whitney....like the previous episode where she was stuck with Brittni and goes "who ever thought I would be friends with you guys.." lol. She clearly has no fucks to give, If a dog attacked Merideth she would be soaking in a tube for six months claiming anti-sematisim and not showing up to anything,

How long before Brittani is playing Roxie Hart on Broadway.

Every time Britani is in a group with the women I feel like they are all laughing at her. Like she is desperately trying to be a housewife and they all are like 'oh please." But then I also think when they bring on these new women, they are told they are housewives but if they don't bring it, they are friends of.

Bronwyn looked horrible on WWHL last night. She looked way too skinny and her makeup was way too much. Todd was in the audience and, as usual, he looked miserable.

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! R131 is correct about Bronwyn's clown makeup.